I never imagined that I would be making this miserable drive, this strategic retreat from the minefield that had engulfed my home. Where one false move would lead to the discovery of some new and terrible secret that would leave my heart eviscerated. Long drives had become second nature because of my work, but the hour and a half drive to Cambridge felt like an eternity, especially in silence. But the DJ's incessant playing of love songs had felt like a personal attack piercing me to the core, so I decided to turn the radio off. Instead, I had concentrated on the sound of the windscreen wipers rhythmically flinging rain from the glass, acting like a metronome calming my frayed mind slightly. As I finally approached the familiar dirt road, a sense of relief washed over me. I had spent my childhood in this place tucked away in this distant corner of the wilderness. My swollen eyes marveled at my parent's secluded cottage that would soon become my sanctuary from the bitter reality of adulthood. Elizabeth and Daniel Wright, my brilliant parents, were newlyweds when they purchased the place. They were high school sweethearts married shortly after graduation and were so in love that they didn't even wait a year to have me.
I parked my mini hatch in their pothole-infested driveway, dodging the puddles as best I could. Exasperated, I threw my head back onto the headrest for a few moments to allow my eyes to relax. I figured I must be a hot mess, so I decided to check out the damage. I flipped the visor down to look at myself in the mirror. It was pretty much what I had expected. As I delicately wiped the runny mascara from my face, I noticed how the redness made my eyes look brighter. That's colour theory for you, I guess. I flung the visor back up to obscure my reflection and threw my keys into my purse. You better get on with this. I swung the door open, unconcerned about hitting anything in the process, and slammed it with the same disregard.
I carefully walked around to the boot of my car only to realize I had parked directly next to a massive puddle. But you know what, this is fine, everything is fine, I thought to myself. My entire life is unraveling before my eyes anyway, so I might as well ruin my shoes. I tried to skirt around the puddle, but my heel immediately sank into the soft mud and tripped me up. Catching myself on the boot of my car just before I fell into the muck, I sacrificed one of my feet into the depths. My right shoe is completely filled with water now, but everything is still bloody fine! I tried furiously to get some of the water out of my ankle boot by shaking my foot, failing miserably, I might add. I hope Mum isn't watching this. I soon gave up and returned to the perilous task that was unlocking my frigging boot. Luckily, I always keep an emergency travel bag back here for work; otherwise, I wouldn't have brought anything with me, I thought while slinging the duffel bag over my shoulder. I finally made it to the stone pathway to the front door—shifting my load as I walked past the tree that still had my childhood tire swing and my father's flower garden. I'm not sure if I'll ever have my own version of this. As I fumbled to find my key, I kept reminding myself not to start crying again; otherwise, Mum would know something was wrong.
"Bloody hell! Where is it?" I whispered aloud as I slid the duffel bag off my shoulder and reached for the phone in my back jeans pocket. I eventually noticed the unread text from Richard as I went to turn on the flashlight.
"Great…" I sighed, slowly shutting my eyes before reading it.
"Can't we talk about this, Katie?"
"Richard, there's nothing else to say. I hope you're happy together, truly."
"Well, if that's how you feel, let me say this. Spend some quality time with the next person you get into a relationship with, and they might stick around. I'll be out by tomorrow."
"ARSEHOLE!" I screamed, throwing my phone as far as I could down the damp gravel driveway. I wouldn't need it anymore; besides, I had my work phone anyways. I knelt down to dump the entire contents of my purse so I could find my damn key. My belongings scattered across the cement stoop, littering it with my wallet, paintbrushes, and a tube of lip gloss.
"There it is!" I snatched up my key, leaving the rest of my tattered life on the ground. Then the rage-filled tears began to flow uncontrollably down my cheeks once more. I frantically started wiping them away, attempting to calm myself before entering the house. Of course, Mum will notice something is wrong, but maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to enjoy a normal visit for a bit before getting into what happened this morning. I took a deep breath to steady my nerves before opening the door with my trembling hand.
"Mum, are you home?" I shout from the front door.
"In the kitchen, Babe!"
As I picked up the duffel bag, I thought, Thank God, this has been the worst day, and Mum's voice was just what I needed to hear. I'm not sure why I took out my spare key in the first place. Mum and Dad never locked their door, to begin with. A part of me always assumed it was for an occasion just like this. So, there wouldn't be a barrier between us if I ever needed them, and there never would be. My puffy red face cracked a small smile at the thought.
"Did you wipe your feet?"
"Crap!" I mouth as I stare at the wet floor. With a squish, I became conscious of the water that had filled my right boot—searching desperately around the room to find something to mop up the mess before Mum saw it. Except for the clothes in my duffel bag, there was nothing else. Make it work, Katie, I encouraged myself as I scrambled, tossing the bag to the floor, and silently opened it to grab a handful of items. I frantically sopped up all the dirty water I had sloshed all over my poor mother's foyer with my clothes.
"Yeah…Of course, I did. I wasn't raised in a barn, you know?
"Questionable, knowing your father." Mum walked over to greet me but came to a halt just inside the doorway. She let her body gently fall back to lean lightly against the frame.
"So instead of just mopping up the floor, now you have to mop up and do laundry? How was this good decision-making, my sweet child?" Mum began shaking her head slightly. Her chin rested on her thumbs as she gently intertwined her fingers together, the tips of her index fingers indenting her pursed lips. She was watching me, analyzing me, quietly contemplating whether to laugh or be alarmed.
"I'm sorry, Mum. I just needed to see you." I whispered, still hiding behind my hair.
"Oh, Love, it's all right! I'll clean it up later." She helped me to my feet. Mum had obviously made up her mind. Concern was the order of the day. Before she had a chance to see me, I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tightly.
"Whoa, Love, what's the matter?" She wrapped her arms around me.
"Please give me just one more minute." I buried myself in her soft brunette hair, snuggling into the crook of her neck. I took a deep breath and inhaled her soothing scent. She smelled of rain and newly laundered clothes. Warm spices clung to her, like cinnamon and cloves, probably from when she made breakfast. She smelled of everything good in the world, just like she had throughout my life.
"Love, look at me and tell me what's going on!" Mum gently pushed me away. She stood there, her eyes darting across my face, searching for the answers to her questions. I felt just like a child again under her concerned gaze. Then, after a moment, I looked her in the eyes, still shaken by what had transpired this morning.
"I caught Richard cheating." Squeezing my eyes shut to stop the tears from flowing.
"Oh, Love!" She exclaimed, "I'm so sorry!" She drew me back into her embrace. Holding me like she had when I was a little girl with a scraped knee. She ran her manicured nails through my hair in an attempt to calm me down. "It's his loss, Love; you're an amazing young lady. You know your father didn't like him to begin with." Mum gently pushed me back so she could face me. "How about calling Rebecca and the three of us do some shopping? I think you might need some new clothes." She gave me a half-smile as she stared down at the drenched pile of ruined fabric on the dirty floor. "How does that sound, Love?"
"Oh no, Mum, I haven't even gotten to the best part!" I moved closer to the sofa, took a seat on the plush couch, and cupped my throbbing head. "He was cheating on me with Becky!" I chuckled through my sobs. What was I laughing about? Perhaps it was the absurdity of the situation, perhaps it was the shock of it all, or maybe, just maybe, I had finally lost it. Becky and I had been roommates at university and had been inseparable ever since. She had known Richard had grown distant the last few months, but I never suspected that she was the cause.
"Are you sure it was Becky, Love?" She crouched down in front of me.
"Yeah, I found a love letter from her in his pocket when I was doing the laundry. When I confronted them with it, Richard said he was waiting for the right moment to break it to me and that he was sorry I had to find out this way. But my favorite part was-" I took her hand in mine, imitating what he had done to me. "I just don't think it's going to work out between us."
"Well, no shite!" She said dryly, rolling her eyes.
"Right! Then get this, he says to me I hope we can still be friends."
"Did Becky have anything to say for herself?"
"That Richard had been unsatisfied with me for some time and that if I honestly, truly loved them as much as I said, I would be happy for them." I spat out in disgust. "I honestly didn't know what to say after that, so I tore up the letter and tossed the pieces at them before leaving." My eyes welled up with tears again. "I'm sorry for disappointing you and dad."
"Disappoint dad and me?" confusion filled her face.
"I know I shouldn't have thrown the letter at them, but-"
"The hell you shouldn't have!" She interrupted. "They're lucky I wasn't there! I'd have hurled a lot more than a few shreds of bloody paper!" Mum softly turned my head to meet her eyes. "You could never disappoint me, Katie." She sat next to me on the couch and laid my head in her lap. She ran her fingers through my hair, silently urging me to let my emotions out. So, I did; I cried in her lap for hours before I heard the door open.
"Hey Lizzie, you home? Is Katie with you?" Dad's voice had a tinge of panic.
"I'm in the living room, Dan. And yeah, she's right here."
"Is she alright? Are you alright, Moppet?" he shouted.
"I'm fine, Dad," I say.
"Should I ask why your stuff is out on the porch?" His voice was laced with concern and confusion. From the couch, I heard him groan. He was probably crouching down to pick up the stuff I had left outside. "This is a good way to get your identity stolen, Moppet." He went from the foyer to the kitchen with his hands stuffed with my various belongings. Mum patted my side, silently signaling me to know she wished to get up. I shifted my weight to liberate her, allowing her to walk to the kitchen to greet him. I reverted to my side, curling my legs up towards my body, immediately missing Mum's soothing warmth. I snatched up a pillow to defend myself from the cold. I wrapped my arms around it as if it were a life preserver; this cushion was the only thing that made sense right now. I could only see a sliver of Mum and Dad's figures through the doorway. He was fiddling with my things while she whispered what I could only assume was my predicament. Dad's expression shifted to an emotion that I couldn't quite place. Yep, Mum had told him what had happened for sure. I caught a glimpse of Mum checking her phone before she disappeared from view.
"Got any money in here?" I heard the familiar snap of my wallet coming from his direction. "Oh yeah, look at all this cash! We got ourselves a proper rich kid here, Lizzie." he rummaged through my wallet, approaching me. "Well, Moppet, it looks like everything is still here, but make sure you go through it yourself." He said as he placed my wallet on the end table next to me. I quickly buried most of my face into the cushion, attempting to obscure my dejected face from him. I couldn't bear letting him see me in such a pathetic state. Finally, he knelt to greet me at eye level. "Hi, Moppet," he said. He put one of his hands on the arm of the couch, balancing himself. I loosened my grip on the pillow so my voice wouldn't be muffled.
"Hi, Daddy." I peered out from behind my cushy shield.
"How are you holding up?" He placed his warm hand on my shoulder.
"I don't really know, Dad."
"That sounds about right, Moppet." He pressed his forehead to mine. "But you will be."
"You think so?" I pulled back and patted the spot next to me. Dad sat instinctively, knowing what I wanted. I laid down, putting my head in his lap, and let him rub my arm.
"Yeah, I do," he said. "Want me to beat him up?" He asked jokingly.
"Yeah, I do," I played back with his obvious banter.
"You got it!" Then, the familiar, comfortable silence fell between us. Dad and I had never needed words to communicate with each other. We could just be and be content in each other's presence. We must have been like that for a while because I was just on the cusp of falling asleep when he eventually spoke.
"I don't know if this is any consolation, but you've always been the love of my life, Moppet."
"What about Mum?" A small smile crept across my face as my heavy eyes opened slightly.
"That goes double for your mother." He gently kissed the back of my head. The sound of Mum's faint footsteps returning to the kitchen interrupted the peaceful silence. The clattering of cabinet doors, the tinkling of glass, the unexpected pop of a cork, and then the softly mumbled swear words she uttered her blatant attempt to go unnoticed had failed. The sound of some mysterious liquid being poured filled the air, followed by a hard thud of something hitting the counter; there was a brief pause before the sound of pouring returned. She stood smiling quietly in the doorway, wine glass in hand, for a bit before approaching me.
"I just got off the phone with your cousin Sophie." she set the glass down before kneeling in front of me. "She wanted me to tell you that she loves you and to call her when you're ready."
"You didn't need to call Sophie, Mum. I would have told her myself." I propped myself up.
"No, Love, she called me to check on you when she couldn't get a hold of you." Mum tenderly brushed the hair from my face.
"How did she find out about the breakup?" I gave her a puzzled glance.
"She read it online, Love." Mum's brows furrowed. "Becky put something on social media."
"Great…So now everybody knows." I let out a sigh, shaking my head. "They couldn't even give me a day."
"Where is your phone, Moppet? I didn't see it with the rest of your stuff." Dad interrupted.
"I might have thrown it…." I bit my bottom lip, embarrassed by my thoughtlessness.
"At them?" Dad asked, slightly horrified at my imagined actions.
"No! Richard sent me a nasty text, and I wasn't thinking."
"You should have thrown it at them instead of the paper." Mum seized the abandoned wine glass giving it a swirl.
"Lizzie!" His eyes widened in surprise.
"What, Dan? If she's going to be out £700, she might as well have made it worthwhile." Mum emphasised her point by taking a huge gulp of wine.
Dad thought for a minute, "Fair enough." nodding slightly. Mum smiled, satisfied with herself while lightly turning her head expectingly. Dad was more than happy to comply with her silent demand kissing her lovingly on the cheek. After that, he returned his attention to me. "I assume you haven't eaten anything, right? What would you like for dinner, Moppet?"
"I'm not really hungry, Dad. I think I just want to crash out for a bit." I was getting up from the couch to walk to my room when he caught hold of my hand.
"You need to eat Moppet." He raised his eyes to me, pleading for me to reconsider. "I'll make you anything you want. You name it."
"Leave her be, Dan! She knows where the food is if she gets hungry later." Before climbing to her feet, she took another long swig of the burgundy liquid in her glass. She started walking back to the kitchen when she suddenly spun on her heel. She pointed a finger at me with the same hand the wine glass resided. "However, you will be eating breakfast in the morning." Her normally motherly tone was suddenly severe, which caught me off guard. She locked her gaze on me, her poker face on full display. Regardless of whether I felt hungry in the morning, I knew I would be eating that breakfast. "Alright, Love, good night!" Her wide grin returned to her lovely face as she winked at me. I knew better than to argue with her, especially when she used that tone.
"Night, Moppet," Dad said.
"Night, Mum. Night, Dad." I called down from the stairs, making my way to my bedroom. Mum had, for the most part, kept my room the same. Aside from painting the walls, changing the furniture, replacing the bedding, hanging new artwork, and purchasing contemporary decor other than that, nothing had changed. I threw the excessive amount of decorative pillows off the bed into a heap on the floor before tucking myself in.
I was past the point of exhaustion, but sleep refused to come to me. I lay there wondering what I had done wrong to merit being abandoned so easily. Had I really been so awful that years together were meaningless? During our numerous fights, Richard would tell me that I needed to change, that I needed to fix myself, that I was the problem in the relationship. Apparently, I hadn't improved myself enough to deserve him anymore. Now, the pain from how things ended colored every single one of my memories of us. You took them away from me, just like your promise to love me or our plans of having a family together. I guess you're building new dreams without me, Richard, now that you found something better than me. So, who am I after this? When it came to my role in life, Richard had always given me my part to play, whether as a close friend or devoted girlfriend, but now I'm the unfortunate victim of his infidelity.
At that thought, my mind immediately went to Becky and her part in this whole situation. Previously, I had believed that in a case like this, it was pointless to be angry with the other woman she hadn't committed to you; your partner, on the other hand, had. But Becky had been my best friend. So, if there was anyone I should be able to expect loyalty from, it should have been her. I instantly reached for my work phone and searched for Becky's post; it didn't take long to find it. There was a picture of Richard and Becky; the words "Finally with the love of my life" were beneath it. I reread it a couple of times, letting the meaning sink in. Finally, huh? Interesting choice of words, Becky. No wonder Sophie had been concerned; she's not even trying to hide it. After that, I turned my attention to the picture.
Becky's face was beaming as she stared lovingly at Richard. I don't think I'd ever seen her look more stunning, with her tanned skin and blonde hair. I couldn't deny that love looked good on the girl. Richard looked just as handsome as he had when I had met him. Focusing on his dark features, I tried to determine if he was happier with her than he had been with me. He's probably feeling amazing now that he had replaced me, and I was just hurting. You have to stop this, I told myself. If I started down this rabbit hole, I might never come back out again. It was over between us, and dwelling on it would destroy me. It's time to put the phone aside and try and get some rest.
When I awoke, the scent of freshly cut fruit, hearty fried drop scones, and salty bacon wafted into my room. I knew Mum had meant it when she said I'd be eating breakfast last night, and she was making a point of it now. Then I heard a faint knock at the door.
"I've brought you some tea, Moppet," Dad called from outside the door. "Are you decent?"
"Yeah." I sat up, rubbing the back of my neck. I slowly ran my fingers through my hair, attempting to tame the unruly mess. The bright light shining through the open window made me vividly aware of my swollen eyes. As my eyes struggled to focus, the intense concentration made me feel like my head was about to split open. The sound of the door creaking open just enough for Dad's head to peek through caught my attention.
"How did you sleep, Moppet?" he handed me a steaming mug.
"Not well, but I got more sleep than I thought I would. So that's a plus." I carefully took a sip of the hot liquid.
"I didn't think you would, hence the room service." He leaned in, kissing the top of my head. "Mum's almost done with breakfast. She told me to come get you."
I took a long, deep drink of the tea and nodded, exaggerating my movement. I swallowed hard before responding, "I'll be there in a minute."
He shuffled nervously before heading for the door, but he stopped just short. I watched as he stood there considering his next move, his hand resting on his chin.
"Can I speak with you about something, Moppet?" He shifted his gaze to face me.
"Of course, Dad."
He sat on the bed next to me and took a deep breath before continuing. "We've always been straight with each other, right, Moppet?" Dad stared me in the eyes. I nodded, afraid that saying anything would prevent him from expressing himself. "It's about Richard," he said, looking down then back at me. "Are you sure you wouldn't take him back after everything that's happened?"
"Why are you asking this?" my gaze instinctively narrowed as I studied his features.
"Be honest, Moppet. Would you be willing to take Richard back?"
I considered it for a moment before responding, "I'm not sure, to be completely honest with you." I exhaled the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.
His head sank to the floor. "That's what I thought." I could hear him sigh. "I know we haven't talked about this before, Katie, but I don't think I've ever kept my disdain for him a secret."
I brought my hands to my mouth. "No?" my voice tinged with cynicism as I feigned astonishment.
"Smartarse," he said with a chuckle. "Okay, so I wasn't exactly subtle in my approach. But I never actually told you why." He took my hand in his and kissed it. "You used to dream of flying, ever since you were little. You'd chase me around the house, begging me to toss you up in the air and catch you. You were so fearless." he stared off into the distance as if replaying the distant memory in his mind. "When you got a bit older, you persuaded your mother and me to let you take gymnastic lessons. Your mother hated watching, always afraid you would fall. So, I ended up taking you to class and watching you compete. And you were good, Moppet, real good." His face was tinged with sadness as he smiled. "You were flying, and you didn't need me to catch you anymore. So I became a spectator to your brilliance. And the older you got, the better you became. You were nothing short of outstanding. Then you started dating that tool. I remember the first time he came to one of your practices and the look on his face. He couldn't stand the fact that you were receiving so much attention." he finally looked me in the eyes; tears welled up as disdain began sweeping over his features. "Soon after that, you quit; you just gave up on all your dreams. You allowed that punk to clip your wings. I had never been disappointed in you until that moment."
"You were disappointed in me?" the words struck me like a slap to the face. Dad had never said he was disappointed in me before, but the truth was he had been disappointed in me for years.
"It's disappointing that my bold, fearless girl would settle for even one percent less than what she deserves."
"Why didn't you ever talk to me about any of this, Dad?" I inquired, terrified of his response but even more terrified of looking him in the eyes.
"Well, at first, I thought you and Richard would fizzle out quickly, but when you didn't, it just got more uncomfortable to talk about." he anxiously looked down at his hands.
"So, what you're telling me is you could have saved me time and heartache if you would have just told me I couldn't see him anymore?" I couldn't keep my anger and hurt from coming through in my tone, unsure if I even wanted to.
"And turning me into your common enemy to cement your relationship would have been better?" he shook his head. Dad had always been patient with me. Even now, in my obstinance, he treated me with understanding. "Katie, I know you better than that. If I had told you, you couldn't see that boy you would have just sunk your heels in even deeper. You're just like your mum like that." he smiled as he nudged me playfully on the side. As much as I wanted to be petulant, I knew he was right. If he had told me at the time that I couldn't be with Richard, I would have simply romanticized it. I would have been Juliet to Richard's Romeo. Although, to be fair, it may not have ended in suicide, the relationship did end in tragedy. I chuckled at my morbid joke.
"I take it you're not upset with me then? Dad wrapped his arm across my shoulders.
"No, Dad," I said with a slight shake of my head. "I'm more disappointed in myself than anything else. What was I looking at that I didn't see any of this?"
"Well, Moppet, sometimes we're striving so hard to make the future happen that we forget to take a peek at what's happening in the present." he rubbed my shoulder. "You ready for some breakfast?"
"Yeah, we've been keeping Mum waiting for ages." I got to my feet. "Good chat, Dad! Wanna do it again in another five years or so?" I extended my arms out as wide as I could, enjoying the sensation of my muscles stretching.
While walking towards the bedroom door, he replied, "Already marked on the calendar." he gave me a wink as I trailed close after him. My footsteps echoed down the stairwell as I came jogging down.
"Are you two nearly finished up there?" Mum yelled at the top of her lungs. Her patience had definitely ran out while she waited for us.
"Mum! Dad's giving me a hard time about Richard!" I yelled from the bottom of the stairs.
"About time!" Mum shouted back at me. "Lord knows he's been bellyaching to me enough over the years."
"Thanks for the support, Lizzie," Dad interjected.
"Welcome!" Mum's cheerful voice filled the kitchen. As she stood there silently sipping her coffee, she looked lovely. The first rays of morning sunlight streamed through the bay windows behind her, giving her the illusion of a halo.
"Well, you look like boiled shite." She smiled and raised her eyes to meet mine.
"Thanks, Mum, that's just what I needed to hear!" I gave her a wry smile.
"Anything to help, Love!" she beamed.
"So, Dad complained to you about Richard for all these years?" I asked.
"No! I'm just the world's greatest detective." sarcasm oozed off of her every word.
"I think you're missing your deerstalker, Dear." Dad cut in, kissing her affectionately on the cheek.
"Didn't match the jumper." she returned his kiss with one of her own. "Jokes aside, how are you feeling this morning, Love?"
"Like I'm dying, but I'll survive." I wipe a few tears from my face. Then, I went to the cabinet and pulled a plate out. It was a plate I had seen hundreds of times before. The border trim repeated its colorful design, leading your eye to the floral pattern moving closer to the center of the plate. Maybe it was fate or my subconscious that had made me pick up this exact dish because my thumb instinctively found the chip in the burnished golden rim. I ruminated on the chip as I scooped some melon onto my plate. I remembered the day I had accidentally dropped this same dish, only chipping it, thankfully. Mum had been relieved that I wasn't hurt, and even though she had tried to hide it, I could tell she was upset about the broken fragment. This china had been a wedding present from my grandmother, passed down from generation to generation. It had been kept in pristine condition until I had dropped it. Somehow it felt fitting that I had grabbed this particular plate because I was just like it-broken.
I jumped, startled as I suddenly felt a touch of a hand on mine. Mum must have noticed my absent-minded thumbing of the chip. The expression on her face was one of concern as she silently took the plate from me.
"You alright there, Moppet?" Dad's voice cut straight through the intrusive thoughts.
"Yeah, sorry!" I smiled at Mum, hoping to reassure her.
"We thought we lost you there for a minute." He continued.
"Nope, I'm right here!" I replied in the most cheerful tone I could muster.
"Well, we're happy to have you here, aren't we Beautiful?" He moved behind Mum, wrapping his arms around her.
She put my plate down on the counter before spinning around in his arms to face him. "Absolutely," she said as she kissed him on the lips.
"It must be nice," I said under my breath.
"What do you mean by that?" Mum caught a glimpse of me out of the corner of her eye.
"You just make it look so easy." I shrugged.
"For your information Moppet, getting to these moments requires a lot of dedication."
"Sure, Dad." I rolled my eyes.
"What the hell are you on about?" Dad asked.
"I'm sorry, Dad, but you just wouldn't understand. It was a piece of cake for you and Mum."
"A piece of cake? That's what you think, Katie?" The tone of Mum's voice shifted abruptly. She was no longer jovial as she had been previously. Instead, she was serious, perhaps even a touch offended by what I had said. Dad opened his lips to say something, but Mum put her hand over his mouth, hushing him before he had even begun. "How did we have it so easy? Because we met young? That we stayed together? How exactly did we have it so easy?"
"You guys have just always been so perfect together. I didn't mean-"
"Relationships are exhausting work, Katie!" She interrupted. "You don't just meet someone and have a fairytale ending. To think that the story ends after the I do's and that you simply ride off into the sunset is naive and idiotic. And frankly, Katie, you are smarter than that." She delicately removed herself from Dad's embrace. "You're going to scream and fight and cry. You're going to want to pull your hair out!" She grabbed her coffee, taking a drink, clearly frustrated. "You're going to say things you didn't mean, or worse, some things you did mean. You're going to think you hate each other in those brief, horrible moments." She was pensive as her finger circled the opening of the mug. "And at some point, you want to quit, but you don't. Because the moment you give up, the moment you stop trying is the moment it's done for good."
"I'm sorry, Mum." I moved to her side and put my head on her shoulder. " This will sound thick, but you're such a fantastic Mum that I forget that there's a person beyond that." And it was true; she had always been the first person I turned to, the one person I could always depend on for unconditional love.
"I know you didn't mean anything by it, Baby." She leaned her head against mine. "As much as it hurts, Love, there's always a lesson to learn."
I looked at her inquisitively but said nothing.
"Find your own failings in the relationship and grow from it. Love yourself more than you loved him."
I found myself a few weeks later on an ill-conceived girl's night out with my cousin Sophie. We'd been going from pub to pub, drinking ourselves stupid.
"I just loved him so much," I sobbed into my glass of ale. "Yeah, we had our struggles, but we were working on them."
"Katie, lying and cheating with your best friend are not signs of a struggling relationship; those are reasons. He gave you reasons to break up. " Sophie cracked a grin. "Sorry, Babes, but the guy is just a scumbag."
"Oh, I know!" I agreed. "Honestly, Sophie, I don't even care about him anymore. It's more how everything went down that still gets to me."
"Well, as long as you aren't crying over him, Babes! He doesn't deserve your tears!" she was slurring her words. "You're lovely! Don't you ever forget that!" she yanked me in for a hug. As she cuddled my face to hers, I noticed a pretty young lady with a pixie cut. I was aware that I was drunk and that everything was hazy, but the expression on her face drew my attention. It appeared as though a man was virtually cornering the single woman. She seemed to be uncomfortable, almost unsure of what she should do next.
"Sophie, I have to go to the loo." I gently pushed her away from me.
"Want me to go with you?" She asked.
"No, just stay here, alright!" I called back as I headed towards the woman. The pair had been sitting in a secluded section of the tavern near the bar. The thought of approaching this complete stranger and asking her if she was in trouble made me uncomfortable. What if this was her boyfriend or something along those lines. I turned away from the couple and cautiously moved backward, trying to look inconspicuous. However, drunk sleuthing had never been my forte, and I received a few funny looks before making it to my destination. I leaned against the bar, doing my best to give the impression that I was attempting to get another drink while listening in on the couple's conversation.
"I'm just waiting for a friend, so please leave me alone!" the woman sounded tired.
"Oh, come on, Babe. I only want to buy you one drink." the man replied.
"And I've already told you I would like you to leave me alone!" she was clearly getting angry. I had definitely read the situation correctly. I knew what it was like to be cornered by a stranger, so I had to help her out.
"Oh my god! I thought that was you!" I said excitedly. They both looked taken aback. "I can't believe how long it's been!" I wrapped my arms around the woman. She embraced me back, unsure of what was going on. "Sophie is over at my table. Do you want to come over and say hello?" I pointed over at Sophie, waving. Sophie waved back excitedly from the other side of the room. I hoped she would understand what I was trying to do and not think I was just a crazy woman. She looked over at Sophie then back to me. Her face relaxed into a grin.
"Oh my god! Sophie's here too! Of course, I want to go say hi!" She linked her arm with mine. I acted overly excited as I pushed past the man, chatting the poor woman's ear off.
"I'm Katie," I introduced myself when we were out of the man's earshot, "Sorry for intruding, but it looked like you needed some help."
"I won't lie; I was worried that I was attracting more weirdo's than usual today."
"Yeah, sorry about that! I'm hopeless when it comes to those kinds of situations. Acting like I was your friend was the only thing I could come up with." I flashed a nervous smile.
"No, I really appreciate the help! I'm Fiona, by the way."
Fiona had made up the story about having a friend join her at the pub that night. She was actually just attempting to get a drink on her own to unwind after a long day at work. She worked as a production assistant for a reality television show called Love Island. Fiona stayed at my and Sophie's table for the remainder of the evening. She shared details of her life with me, and I shared details of my recent split with her.
"Katie, I have a crazy idea!" she exclaimed, grinning like the cat that ate the canary.
And that's how I wound up on Love Island in the first place.