A/N: Once again, Spin's head canons are my head canons lol There's no other explanation.
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Minerva hated these Ministry balls, ordinarily. She hated the wheeling and the dealing, she hated the fact that she could never just enjoy them and above all, she hated the fact that as soon as they arrived, Hermione had disappeared from her side. She'd become so used to having Hermione around her that her absence was stark.
"Excuse me, gentlemen," a welcome voice interrupted her thoughts. "I'm going to steal Minerva away for a while."
They grumbled good-naturedly as Poppy steered her away from the group and to a quiet table out of the way.
"Thank you," she groaned. "I thought I would have to feign an attack of the vapours."
"Minerva," Poppy snorted. Minerva grinned at her as she took the glass that was offered. "I expected a lovely young woman on your arm," she said, cutting right to the chase. "You've certainly dressed for it."
"Is it too much? I've been so busy and she's been so good to me, I have been looking forward to this for so long, and now," she frowned. "She's disappeared."
"Not so much," Poppy nodded as she sipped her drink.
Minerva turned and saw Hermione laughing uproariously with Lee Jordan leaning against her side with tears pouring from his eyes as they tried not to interrupt Kingsley's speech.
"Oh."
A pit opened up in Minerva's stomach as she watched. She had believed Hermione when she'd said that she loved her. She had believed her, despite her hesitancy, when she promised she'd never leave. She'd believed her when she'd said she'd wait for her. And though she'd been busy these last few weeks, she'd believed it with her soul.
"She looks cosy."
"Fuck off," Minerva growled.
"Ah," Poppy chuckled. "I see."
"You do not see. I -" Minerva bit her lip hard to stop herself from crying in the middle of this stupid Ministry Ball.
She watched as they got themselves under control after another glare from Kingsley and Poppy chuckled again as Hermione reached for whatever drink she had - something that looked like a wayward potion.
"If she carries on with those you'll be carrying her home."
"I don't -"
"Minerva," Poppy said gently. "Please listen to me for a moment. Because I know you, I have known you for a long time. And I knew Amelia and I knew Saul and Elphinstone and I knew all of your previous loves and I need to tell you one thing." Minerva swallowed and met her friend's eyes. "She is nothing like any of them."
"I know that, I -"
"For example," Poppy said over her. "Amelia was fine with never seeing you. In fact, I honestly think you were together as long as you were because you never saw each other. I know you adored one another, but you fulfilled each other's needs when you needed it and that was it."
"Poppy!"
"Stop me if I'm wrong," she muttered, lowering her voice.
"Elphinstone was comfortable and Saul, a great mind to expand your horizons and fight with and stimulate," Minerva could feel her face glowing, it was so red. "Other things."
"If you don't -"
"Hermione Granger," Poppy said, making that hole in Minerva's stomach roar. "Is none of those things."
"But -"
"She is all of those things save one."
"What?" Minerva said, ignoring the indignation for insight into the young woman that she had come to love so dearly.
"She wants all of you, all the time."
Minerva blinked. Kingsley was still speaking and there was a hush over the room but all of it fell silent as she grappled for understanding.
"I don't -"
"No," Poppy mused. "I don't suppose you do, do you?"
"Will you come to the point, Poppy?"
She'd snapped a little louder than she'd meant and she waved in apology to Kingsley when he paused and glared at her too. She felt Hermione's eyes on her across the room but she didn't turn as she looked at her friend.
"When you work, you are singularly focused. You wouldn't eat if someone didn't remind you. I take it she is reminding you?"
"Yes," she shrugged. "She cooks dinner. She brings it to me so I don't have to stop. Do you have any idea how much work I -"
"She brings you dinner?" Poppy asked with this annoying smile on her face.
"Yes?"
"Like a house-elf?"
Minerva's mouth dropped open.
"I -"
"Did you forget you don't have house-elves doing your every chore?"
That pit seemed to get deeper as she tried to remember the last time they'd sat down to have dinner together. She could not think of a single time, save the very first night.
"I didn't -"
"Have you made her dinner? Taken her out for dinner? Washed some dishes, Minerva?"
She was more horrified than she'd ever been. She recalled those moments, in the beginning, when Hermione was so kind and so gentle to her and she'd railed and argued and fought against feeling anything except desolation. Comfortable, awful desolation and then Hermione had turned up with her beautiful smile and her gentle words and her soft kisses.
"I haven't even kissed her since -"
She swallowed.
"Minerva," Poppy groaned. "It's any wonder she's about to shack up with Mr Jordan. She cared for you, she has cared for you so well and you -"
"I know," Minerva whispered, staring at the two still giggling behind their glasses.
She could feel the tears gathering in her eyes and when Hermione looked up, she turned and stared at the back of the hallway desperately trying not to cry.
"I have betrayed her."
"You haven't -"
She blinked and saw Harry standing nearby with a half-drunk beer in his hand. She didn't really want to see or speak to Hermione's best friend, right now so she turned and started walking but he was no longer the same as he was when he had been a student. He followed her outside, closing the door to the ballroom behind him and trailing in her wake as she slipped into a little known alcove overlooking the Atrium.
"Looks quite pretty from up here," he muttered looking out over the Atrium while she composed herself. "Looked very different while it was exploding all around me." She snorted and shook her head while she wiped away the errant tear that had not done her bidding. "Wanna chat, Min?"
"No," she whispered. "I do not."
"Well, that's too bad."
He pulled on her hand and they sat down on a bench, the cold marble wall shocking Minerva as her bare back rested against it.
"Whoops," he chuckled. "Here."
He'd been wearing a muggle suit and tie and he slipped off the jacket and placed it around her shoulders.
"That looks rather becoming on you," she muttered, running her thumb under her eye. "Dressing Muggle to the Ministry Ball is a statement unto itself."
"I'm not just a pretty face," he quipped.
She snorted and looked over at him while she chuckled.
"I have hurt her."
"You have," he said gently. "So, now's the time to decide what you're going to do about that?"
"I cannot face her again."
"That would be the wrong decision."
"Harry, I -"
"She loves you, Min," he said simply. "She loves you in a way that I cannot even fathom. Cos I would have dropped you like a hot rock by now." She took the comment as it was meant and tried not to shrink into the jacket. "She came to me a few weeks ago and asked me if you'd ever seemed to appreciate her. And whether I thought maybe you'd tricked her into giving her a place to stay."
The tears really did start then. The horror was as bad as it had been right after the war. That Hermione had felt that from her was soul-crushing.
"So," he continued, ignoring her. "Did you?"
"No," she practically yelled. "No, I didn't."
"So -"
"So I have so much work to do, Harry, I'm not sure you possibly understand how much. And I've already had it from Poppy, I just didn't -" She shook her head. "Why didn't she say anything?"
"Because she loves you."
"That makes no sense."
"She is giving you space like she knew you'd want. And whether or not you meant to, you're abusing that."
"Harry, I swear to you, I didn't mean to. I," she sighed and pressed against her eyelids. "Harry. I have lived in Hogwarts for longer than you have been alive. I -" She shook her head. "I have grown accustomed to the way things are done in the Wizarding World. I -" It sounded horrendous out loud. "I don't usually have to think about things like dinner and sleep and -" She was disgusted with herself. "Washing dishes." He looked at her with a face that made her feel even worse and she groaned into her hands. "How do I fix this?"
"I'm not sure I want to tell you," he said truthfully. He stared at her for a long time and in desperation, she let him. "I mean, I don't know if I want her loving you now. I don't know if post-war Minerva can cope with -"
"You've made your point, Mr Potter," she hissed, feeling every bit the monster he was painting her to be.
"And yet I'm not even halfway through. She would walk across hot coals for you and I'm not even sure you would stop what you were doing to get her -"
"Enough."
She swallowed and looked up as Hermione stepped into view. To her right, Harry sighed and stood as well.
"I was just -"
"Don't," Hermione warned. "That was none of your business to share."
"Someone had to."
"HARRY!"
"Look," he said, looking between them. "Deep down, despite my reservations, I do want this to work. I really do. I care for you both more than anyone else, except maybe Ginny. But this is insane."
"Thank you -" Hermione said pointedly, interrupting him before he got a full head of steam.
"Just -" He sighed and took Minerva's hand and then Hermione's and placed them on top of each other. "Will you just sort this out, please? I cannot handle more drama. I won a war, you know. I shouldn't have to deal with this too."
As he stepped away, Hermione dropped Minerva's hand, and as she wasn't expecting it, it dropped to her knee with a slap. Hermione paused, looking down at it and then back at Harry.
"You did not just -"
"I'm just giving some perspective. Deal with this, please. I need my best friend," he glanced at Minerva. "Friends, back."
He left them and Minerva watched Hermione as she stared at him, with anger in her eyes but a little twitch at the corner of her mouth where a smile might have appeared. She was beautiful.
"Hi," she said flatly as she stepped further into the alcove. She perched on the parapet and Minerva had to bite her tongue to stop herself from instructing her to get down before she hurt herself.
"Hermione," she croaked. "I'm so sorry."
"Are you?" Hermione studied her for a long time. "Maybe you are. I'm a little drunk so I'm not totally sure I can read you right now. It's possible I couldn't read you before, but I thought I could." She sighed and it hurt Minerva to hear so much sadness in it. "Lee said that I'm silly and to trust myself but I don't know."
"Lee?" Minerva winced at how jealous it sounded.
"Oh," Hermione giggled. "That was so great. You won't mind if I see him again, right?"
"Hermione, that's cruel."
"Is it though?" she blinked owlishly and Minerva saw just how drunk she was. It was more than a little.
"Will you please get down from there," Minerva said, taking control of the situation. "You're not sober enough to do that."
"But, I'm free, Min. I can do whatever I want. I can dance on this if I want to."
"No," Minerva said, stepping forward and taking Hermione's hand before she could do just that. "No. Just -" She hated not being in control. "Hermione, I -" She stared down at Hermione and wished for all the world she could take her into her arms properly. "I will move my things to a hotel for the foreseeable future," she whispered, her heart breaking in her chest. "It is unfair to you for me to treat you this way. I beg your forgiveness."
"You're leaving?" Hermione frowned, going a little cross-eyed.
"It seems to be the only way I can atone for my actions. I shall leave you to your life, in peace. I hope -" Her voice cracked as she fought for control. "I hope you and Lee are very happy. He is a good man."
Hermione frowned.
And then snorted and covered her mouth and then looked back at Minerva before laughing as she'd just been told the most hilarious joke and Minerva stepped back.
"I did not take you to be so cruel."
"No," Hermione laughed. "No, Min."
She'd had enough. She wasn't interested in being the subject of any more character assassinations and she was uninterested in remaining at the ball so she pulled away from Hermione and stepped back.
"I wish you well, Miss Granger. I apologise for the hurt I have caused."