Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara!
The other day I came upon this wonderful "50 Dialogue Prompts" while going through Tumblr and then this disaster came out! (I also wanted to try writing in the present tense, so bear with me.) Prompts #45 and #48 were used. Please enjoy some more Shikizaya *hearts*
Shiki can't remember when his gaze started to linger on a certain informant, his eyes trailing much too often from the stark redness of the man's pupils to the defined collarbones peeking out from under the v-neck shirts the other always wears. He catches himself staring much too often during their impromptu car meetings and picks up the habit of preoccupying himself with anything he can get his hands on: his cell phone, cigarette lighter, a nail filer.
In time, he settles for listening to the man's voice instead, focusing on the slight inflections in Izaya's calculated tone whenever the other turns in a job. It satiates his hunger for a time, but he knows it is not sustainable, and yet he continues this trend until he acknowledges that he will eventually make a fatal mistake by not paying close enough attention.
Because of this, one day he finally looks up from his hands and realizes that the other is no longer focused on him, those usually intense eyes staring at the passing scenery outside as if in a deep reverie.
This strikes him as odd, as the informant is usually on high alert when dealing with the Awakusu-kai, particularly himself. Shiki considers the possibility that he may have finally gained the informant's trust, but even he knows better because Izaya Orihara trusts no one.
He decides to dig a little deeper and invites the informant to one of the quieter bars for drinks one evening, citing business as the reason. It is a far cry from their usual rendezvous in the car, but to his relief, Izaya accepts.
Shiki makes sure to arrive extra early and settles into a private booth at the back away from any potential prying eyes. He is surprised to see Izaya walking into the bar a full twenty minutes before their arranged time shortly after.
"You're here earlier than expected!" Izaya hides any surprise with that greeting and situates himself on the plush cushions across from Shiki.
"Likewise." Shiki supposes that the other must have come early to scout out the location and suspects that Izaya already knows the reason for changing their usual meeting place.
He tries to lighten the atmosphere and tells the informant to order anything on the menu before settling on a beer to start.
"I'll have the same as him," Izaya tells the waiter, "and some kaarage."
Their drinks arrive, and the meeting progresses systematically as Shiki reviews the details of a recent job with the other. He notices that Izaya still refuses to meet his eyes, always gazing at the other areas of the bar: the heavy oak counter, the baby grand piano, a pair of lovers huddled in the opposite corner whispering sweet nothings to each other.
Shiki is also aware that Izaya is not a heavy drinker, but the other man orders quite liberally tonight, so he waits until they are a few drinks in before moving the conversation away from Awakusu-kai.
"I've been meaning to ask, has something been bothering you?" he queries, careful to keep his tone casual.
This prompts Izaya to finally look at him, the informant's face slightly flushed from the alcohol. Shiki's breath nearly catches at the sight of the man's eyes, their orbs glistening under the light of the small candle set between them on the table.
"Whatever makes you think that?" Izaya replies.
Shiki doesn't say that Izaya doesn't meet his eyes as much anymore, doesn't mention the aloof air that the other currently exudes. "You seem distracted sometimes," he explains instead.
The informant takes a small sip of his cocktail before swirling the amber liquid in his hand, and a strange smile spreads across the man's face, one that Shiki does not recognize. He wonders if Izaya has worn this expression during their meetings when he is not looking.
"Let's just say that I do have something that is bothering me. What would Shiki be willing to do about it?"
"I'd see how I can help," he answers easily. It isn't a lie. As long as Izaya doesn't pull Awakusu-kai into one of his childish schemes again, Shiki is willing to hear whatever is bothering the other.
Izaya laughs at this, the sound like soft bells against his ear, and returns to the drink.
To Shiki's disappointment, Izaya doesn't bring up the subject again and eventually he finds the two of them outside, the light from the street lamps shimmering down on the quiet streets.
"Thank you for the drinks. You didn't have to pay for me," Izaya bows slightly, movements still graceful despite the flush on the man's face.
"I dragged you out here, so it's only fair," Shiki reassures him. He suddenly notices the odd smile from before as the informant turns to leave. He wonders if he should ask about it when Izaya pauses.
"Sometimes you make me want things I can't have," Izaya murmurs so quietly that he almost doesn't hear. Shiki whirls around but the informant is already down the street, and he watches the other disappear around the corner as he repeats the words in his head.
.
Shiki continues to think about what Izaya had whispered to him that night, wondering if it was the alcohol unearthing something the informant had hidden away or if the other was playing his usual games. He obsesses over it even during the days he is at the gallery. Akabayashi makes fun of him for falling for a younger man and he almost tells the other to fuck off when he suddenly realizes that it is true.
The Red Demon blinks at him incredulously when he is silent. "You're serious," Akabayashi finally says.
Shiki sighs and tries to massage the growing headache out of his temple. "It would seem so."
"You should just ask him outright if it bothers you so much."
He considers doing just that, but the possibility that Izaya will use his affection against him weighs heavily on his mind.
It is already bad enough that Akabayashi now knows, although he is fairly certain that the man will not try anything. For better or worse, both he and Izaya are not people one will lightly make enemies of, and the other Awakusu-kai executive is smart enough to keep the revelation a secret.
For now, Shiki decides not to say anything and merely continues his current role as Awakusu-kai's primary contact with the informant, although the odd behavior from the latter only persists.
.
Winter arrives too quickly this year, and soon Tokyo is caught in a snowstorm at midday during one of their scheduled meetings. To make matters worse, Shiki's initial appointment runs late, and he tries not to rush his driver towards the usual location as the howling wind screeches against the windows.
He finally sees Izaya waiting at the corner of the street, furry trench coat the only protection against the endless snow.
"My apologies for being late. The last meeting went over," he tells the other as Izaya scrambles into the seat next to him, trying to shake off some of the excess snow before finally settling in the warmth of the car's heater.
"No worries. I wasn't waiting long," Izaya tries to be nonchalant about it, but Shiki knows the other is miserable. He traces the way the informant's lips tremble from the cold and tries not to show concern as they discuss the mundane details about the current job.
He has his driver drop Izaya off in Shinjuku in front of the informant's apartment when they are finished.
Three days later, Shiki does not see Izaya at their usual meeting spot. At first he considers that the other is purposely punishing him for being late last time, but the informant doesn't immediately reply to his texts. He waits another thirty minutes at the street corner before directing his driver to head towards Shinjuku. Shiki considers his options on the way there and finally makes the decision to check on the informant when they arrive.
He rings the doorbell to the penthouse impatiently only to find it unlocked. Shiki enters cautiously; the informant is known to have many enemies and he will not be surprised if he is met with a flying knife. However, everything is quiet as he walks into the apartment. Shiki notes the usual shoji board with random chess pieces scattered on the surface, Izaya's desktop computer, likely heavily encrypted even if someone were to get their hands on it, a black fur trimmed coat on the floor near the sofa…
Shiki starts when he realizes that in the coat is Izaya.
"Oi, Orihara!" he calls the other as he shakes him, but he gets no response. Izaya's face is flushed, and Shiki feels a raging fever on the informant's forehead. He curses as he deposits the man on the sofa and calls for Shinra.
Shiki busies himself by draping a wet towel over Izaya in an attempt to cool the other down as he waits for the doctor to arrive. Apparently, the informant has already called for his friend, but Shinra is also running late. At the very least, that explains the unlocked door, Shiki thinks.
"Sorry! I didn't know it was this bad!" Shinra gasps when he does arrive.
"He hasn't stirred," he tells the other, who takes out a thermometer and an IV set. Shiki steps aside to let the doctor do his work and waits patiently for the other to administer fluids and some fever reducers.
"We should probably move him upstairs. His clothes are soaked," Shinra states, and Shiki finds himself half carrying Izaya up to the second floor. He maneuvers the informant into pajamas along with Shinra once they get him to the bedroom, and Shiki tries not to focus too much on the exposed porcelain skin, but he is surprised at the thin scars he sees. He wonders how many fights the other has been through, how many are from a certain bodyguard, and how many are from the informant's many enemies, ones unknown even to him.
"Call me in the morning if the fever doesn't go down," Shinra tells him. The doctor doesn't question why he is here and doesn't ask him to leave.
"Should we contact his family?" he queries, although he suspects the answer already.
"I'm the only one who comes," Shinra tells him. "The others won't bother with him." The doctor looks almost sympathetic as he steals a glance towards his long time friend. "He knows it so he never asks."
Shinra's departure makes the apartment almost too quiet, and Shiki tries to keep himself busy by changing the damp towel every so often and making sure the informant is still breathing. He cancels his meetings for the rest of the day and sends some emails to some potential "business" partners as well as his lackeys. He cooks some porridge for Izaya with the man's meager pantry offerings and orders takeout for himself for dinner.
Shiki finally naps on the couch when his eyes become too heavy, never once leaving the apartment.
It is the break of dawn when Izaya finally comes downstairs, the initial surprise on the informant's face replaced only by a deep exhaustion.
"Sorry for missing the meeting," Izaya manages to say, and Shiki almost wants to usher the other back upstairs to rest, but his concern will be too obvious.
"You should have let me know you were sick," he says instead.
"I was about to, but I'm not sure what happened after. I must have fallen asleep. Did you…" Izaya trails off, clearly uncomfortable with the situation. "Did Shinra ask you to stay? It must have been very inconvenient for you."
"At least you're feeling better now."
"You didn't have to stay," Izaya mutters, and Shiki cannot tell if the tips of the man's ears are red from fever or something else. He finds it endearing but catches the thought before it can fester any further.
"It would be inconvenient if my best informant died," he lies. He can't let the other know.
Izaya's eyes widen at that statement, and for a split second the man looks hurt, but it disappears just as quickly and the informant masks it under his usual business smile. "Well, thank you anyway. I'll give a discount on the next job."
Shiki instantly regrets his words.
He heads home after making sure the other eats the porridge. He is unable to shake off the discomfort in his chest when he remembers the look Izaya gives him after his lie.
.
Izaya is back to work in record time after recovering from the massive cold, and the two of them do not mention that day again. He does notice that the informant has become even more withdrawn after the incident and wonders how he can get Izaya to open up to him without giving away his own feelings on the entire matter.
It is a difficult predicament indeed.
This goes on until one day when Shiki spots the informant with a certain bodyguard in Ikebukuro. He motions for his driver to stop when he notices that the two are not fighting, although Heiwajima holds a bent stop sign in one hand. Shiki exits his car a block away and approaches carefully to avoid immediate detection.
Izaya says something to the other, eyes downcast, and Shiki makes his way closer so that he can hear.
"Hey Shizu-chan, how do I fall out of love with someone?"
Shiki freezes. Was the informant in love with Heiwajima after all?
"What kind of question is that?" Heiwajima growls. Shiki can see his eyes glance at the unused stop sign.
Izaya heaves a weary sigh. "Nevermind, I should have known better to ask a protozoan. Hurry up and swing that at my head. Maybe that would help more."
The bluff doesn't work and Heiwajima instead sets the weapon down, the concern apparent on his face. "Are you okay? You're acting kind of strange."
Izaya glares at his mortal enemy, bottom lip trembling. "I'm not okay," he finally replies, and Shiki frowns, feeling jealousy rear its ugly head as he questions why Izaya will tell his mortal enemy but not him what is wrong.
Heiwajima only snorts. "Obviously. You've always been off in the head. Anyways, so who is it?"
"W-What?" the informant stutters.
"I'm asking who's the girl so I can keep you away from her."
"How rude," Izaya huffs, but the threat seems to calm him. "First of all, you don't even know him, and second…"
"So it's a guy?"
Izaya looks so mortified that even Heiwajima's expression softens. "Who is it, Izaya? You can tell me."
"So you can tell the world?"
"I'm not like you, flea. I just heard letting it out helps."
Izaya's eyes narrow. "Did Shinra tell you that?"
"Yeah. Now hurry it up so I can decide whether or not to pick up the stop sign."
Izaya pauses, and for a moment Shiki thinks that he will turn around and leave or make a snide comment to spite the other, but the informant then leans up and whispers in Heiwajima's ear.
Shiki inches closer to listen and his eyes widen when he catches the sound of his own name.
Heiwajima merely nods and puts a hand up to his chin. "That sounds complicated."
Izaya groans. "I don't know how long I can continue like this."
"For starters, you can stop coming to Ikebukuro."
"Nice try, but that won't fix the problem."
"Then…" Heiwajima suddenly stiffens, and Shiki realizes that he has messed up and they've made eye contact. He walks towards them, his cover blown as Izaya slowly turns around, paling.
Heiwajima lets out a cough and tactfully excuses himself, muttering something about needing to meet Tom for another collection.
"How much of that did you hear?" the informant asks.
"Enough," he replies, still reeling from the revelation. He regrets not seeing the signs.
Izaya looks away. "You can arrange for someone else to meet me, if you feel uncomfortable."
"You don't make me feel uncomfortable," he says. He is surprised that Izaya even thinks that.
"You don't have to lie to me, Shiki."
He considers this for a moment and realizes that Izaya doesn't trust him. It's ironic, he thinks, that he has dug himself into this predicament by not trusting the other first. He thinks quickly on how to rectify this.
"Are you free Thursday night?"
Izaya checks his phone, refusing to meet his eyes. "Seems like it. The usual corner?"
"No, it might snow again. I'm picking you up."
"I'm sorry?"
"I'm asking you out on a date."
Shiki tries not to look at the flabbergasted expression Izaya gives him.
He makes reservations for a private room in one of the omakase restaurants and picks Izaya up himself. Shiki doesn't drive often since he has his own driver, but he feels the need to make his interest in the other more obvious.
Izaya keeps his guard up throughout the short car ride, making only small remarks on a few jobs they have worked on recently. The restaurant is on the top floor of one of the hotels, and Shiki orders the two of them some wine.
"I don't understand," Izaya finally tells him once the waiter walks away. "This is all very sudden."
"You do not trust my intentions?"
Izaya hesitates. "No, but you've never shown any interest. You wouldn't even look me in the eye during our meetings."
"I didn't want you to find out," he tells the other, ready to offer some of his dignity in exchange for Izaya's trust.
The informant thinks for a moment, and suddenly the man's eyes widen slightly with surprise and realization. A light blush spreads across Izaya's cheeks which the other tries to mask by taking a sip of wine.
"Am I allowed to ask 'when' for you?" Shiki tests the waters, genuinely interested.
Izaya is silent for a moment before he answers. "I don't know. I've been trying very hard to ignore it for the longest time."
Shiki thinks of his first meetings with the informant, the latter only a kid back then trying to make a name for himself. He has lost count of the jobs he has worked on with Izaya, many of which are much riskier than they should be. It is only recently that he holds back on the more dangerous ones just in case Izaya does slip up one day.
"You're very good at hiding the signs," he tells the informant.
Izaya smiles, his expression softer than any in Shiki's memories of the man. "You know I have to keep my guard up at all times with the yakuza. Like right now, this could be a trap."
The words ring true, but Shiki is determined to prove him wrong all the same. "How can I make you feel otherwise?"
He likes to think that they've progressed a few steps since the outing at the bar. Shiki drops Izaya off at the apartment in Shinjuku and doesn't expect Izaya to invite him in, but the man ends up pulling him down for a kiss before getting out of the car. It is sloppy, and the inexperience makes Shiki feel a sense of satisfaction that he is Izaya's first.
"Goodnight," Izaya says almost shyly before disappearing into the building.
Shiki smiles slightly, despite knowing the path ahead will be a difficult one with Izaya Orihara as a lover.
However, Shiki is patient, and he plans to make up for all of those years lost and more.
Thank you for reading!