Washington, D.C.
 Twenty-Five Years Ago

Sunlight streamed in through the east-facing window, bright and thick, pouring over the little bed with its two motionless figures. After a few minutes, one stirred, pulling at the blankets, grumbling as the light grew brighter.

"Why'd you have to put the bed right next to the window," came a low groan, trying to block the light with a pillow.

"It helps me wake up more easily," the other said, voice impossibly clear and cheerful. "Natural sunlight is the most efficient alarm, and it helps boost your serotonin and vitamin D levels."

"Ughhhhh."

"Come on, rise and shine." Maura pulled the pillow off Brenda's face, swatting at her with it. The other woman groaned, weakly pulling her mass of messy curls down over her eyes.

"But what if I don't want to?" Brenda whined, tugging at the pillow, giving up only when Maura yanked it firmly onto the floor behind her.

"You can't stay in bed all day, Brenda Leigh," Maura sighed, "you have things to do." She straddled Brenda's hips, folded her arms across her chest.

"But what if all I really, really want is to stay in bed all day?" Her voice softened, took on a flirtatious edge. "And what if all the things I want to do stay here with me?"

Maura giggled. Shivered as Brenda's fingertips crept along her arm, just lightly brushing her skin. Let out a faint groan as Brenda tugged her down, flipped them over, Brenda's soft curls framing both of their faces, illuminating them in gold from the morning light filtering through. "Don't call me Brenda Leigh," she murmured, breath ghosting over Maura's lips. "You know only my mama calls me that."

"But I like it," Maura whispered back.

"It's a frilly pageant name," Brenda rolled her eyes. "I'm tryna be taken seriously by all these meathead cops!"

"I like saying it," Maura murmured. "I like the way it feels in my mouth."

Brenda groaned, shaking her hair so it just drifted across Maura's cheek, making Maura shiver under her. "And here you are, makin' me feel like I'm the one keeping us in this bed instead of jumpin' up and conquerin' the world."

"Kiss me, Brenda Leigh," Maura sighed, letting the last syllable float lightly against Brenda's lips.

"Oh lord," Brenda said, and then again, "oh lord," as Maura's hand slid down her waist, over her hip, teasing at the hem of her nightgown. Pressed her mouth to Maura's, let Maura's tongue slip against her own.

"I thought we had things to do today," Brenda mumbled, her breath hitching as Maura's hand drifted up her inner thigh.

"If you're suddenly worried about your itinerary I can stop," Maura replied, pulling her hand back slightly.

"No ma'am," she gasped, "you most certainly cannot. Oh—" Maura ran her tongue over the sensitive spot behind Brenda's ear. "Don't—don't stop."

"I don't think that would be very agreeable for either of us at this point," Maura breathed, inhaling sharply as Brenda's teeth grazed her collarbone.

"I like thinkin' about you meetin' with that dumb Dr. Jeffries," Brenda whispered, letting her hands travel across Maura's body. "Sittin' in his office, watchin' him try to outsmart you 'cause he thinks it'll get him a date, when the whole time you'll be thinkin' about me, won't you?"

"Oh god," Maura groaned, letting Brenda pull her camisole off. And then, "he's such a lech."

"What, and I'm not?" Brenda pouted in mock offense.

"Well, you're a lot prettier than he is," Maura grinned. "And I actually like it when you—oh, yes, that, I like that."

"I know you do," Brenda's voice was darker, more urgent, her breathing heavier and faster. "I know exactly what you like, Maura."

"Yes," she whispered, less a word than a strangled gasp. "Yes."

"I knew right away," Brenda breathed. "Right from the very first time I saw you walk into headquarters on your very first day. All that pretty hair, those pretty shoes, I could tell right away what a girl like you wanted."

"Yes," Maura whispered again.

"What was it?" Brenda murmured in her ear, wrapping one hand in Maura's long copper hair, tugging slightly, shivering as Maura moaned.

"You," Maura gasped, writhing a little. "I wanted you, right there, in your uniform, right that second."

"Good thing we both noticed," Brenda smirked.

"I didn't even know your name," Maura panted, clutching at Brenda harder. "But I wanted you so badly, I knew right then."

"You know my name now."

"Brenda Leigh."

"Say it again."

"I thought only your mother—"

"Don't go bringin' my mama into this, not right now."

"I'm sorry . . . Brenda Leigh."

"Apology—ah—apology accepted."

The sun had moved halfway up the sky when Maura rolled over and looked at the clock.

"Oh darn," she cried, leaping out of the bed. "I'm going to be late to my observation!"

"What's on the slab today?"

Maura wrinkled her nose. "Please don't refer to the process like that."

Brenda shrugged, mouthed sorry. Maura smiled.

"But since you asked so sincerely, today I get to observe the autopsy of a body submerged in non-corrosive chemical waste for over a month!"

"Ugh," Brenda said. "Remind me again why I love you."

She froze on the bed, cheeks flushing a deep pink.

Maura froze, hairbrush halfway to her temple, color draining from her face.

It's only been two months. It hasn't been long enough. It hasn't been long enough for her to feel the way you feel. This isn't even long enough for you to feel the way you feel, Maura, get your head on straight, you might be in love but you don't love her, how could you, it hasn't been long enough, don't be silly, just because you feel good with her, just because you might feel complete—

"Sorry," Brenda breathed, still motionless.

"Don't be," Maura said before she could think, her hands abruptly flying to her mouth, hairbrush clattering to the floor.

A long beat.

"Is it okay?"

Maura stood, motionless, half-dressed. The moments until her observation ticking down.

"Oh lord, I'm sorry," Brenda said, lunging toward her clothes. "Just so early in the day, haven't had my coffee—"

Maura closed the gap between them before Brenda could finish her fumbled excuse. Pressed her lips to Brenda's, felt the other woman stiffen, shudder against her, not kissing her back, but Maura could feel her anxious hope.

"I hope you love me for the same reason I love you," Maura murmured, not pulling away, threading her arms around Brenda's waist.

"I don't rightly know how to call how I feel about you, I suppose," Brenda breathed against her mouth, her body sagging in relief against Maura's. "But I guess love is good enough."

Maura didn't say anything, chose instead to smile against that wide mouth, to hope the hot pulse of emotion that she felt carried across their connection.

Brenda shivered again in her arms.

"I love you, Brenda Leigh," she whispered against the other woman's lips. "I do hope that's all right with you."

"I think I might just light fire to the horse barn if you said otherwise," Brenda drawled, not moving away.

"I think I can parse what that means," Maura said.

"Yankee," Brenda grinned against her lips.

They stood together, entwined, in love, until—

"Don't you have a date with a dead body?"

"Oh darn."

"Don't you worry 'bout little ol' me," Brenda said, batting her eyelashes. "Just meeting with the brass about a promotion."

Maura whirled around as she tucked the last of her blouse into her skirt. "Brenda!" she cried. "You didn't say! I mean, I reasoned that it would be sometime around this date, maybe within a week or so based on your status and the standard promotion calendar, but you didn't say it was today—"

"I didn't know until yesterday, and I wanted us to have a nice time together without worryin' about it. Don't look at me like that, with that worried face, because you must understand how you're provin' my point." She kissed the tip of Maura's nose lightly, teasingly. "So I asked the Captain if I could take the whole day to, uh, prepare for the meeting." She kissed Maura again. "Which he knew wasn't until after lunch, but I told him, you know, need to stay sharp for something like that."

"As if you've been dull a day in your life, Brenda Leigh." Maura pulled her close, kissed her neck, behind her ear, her cheek, her mouth.

"Course I haven't, I just wanted to have this morning with you."

Maura laughed out loud against Brenda's shoulder, pressing her face into Brenda's soft golden curls. "Well, I hope we can also celebrate after."

"I hope you're takin' a real good shower after your, uh, observation," Brenda said, nipping at Maura's earlobe.

Maura made a small noise in her throat, pulled away from Brenda. "If you're implying—"

Brenda grinned, tangling her hand lightly in Maura's hair. "I'm implyin' absolutely nothing, Maura Isles. Just maybe tryin' to get one more little rise outta you before I go."

Maura pursed her lips. "Mission accomplished."

"What, you mad?"

Maura smiled brilliantly, giggled. "I could never be mad at you, Brenda."

Brenda stiffened for just a moment, so briefly Maura wasn't sure it had happened.

"What?"

"Don't go making promises you might not want to keep, now," Brenda said softly, seriously.

Maura frowned a little. "I—"

Brenda's expression brightened in an instant. "I'm just not perfect, is all."

"To me you are," Maura murmured, brushing her lips against Brenda's again.

"I know the feeling," Brenda murmured back. "The best feeling." She pulled away, and Maura noticed her deep brown eyes were a little darker than usual, the smile on her face not quite reaching them, almost as though it was being stopped by—

"Now you gotta scoot!" Brenda said, swatting Maura's behind lightly. "And I do too."

"Good luck with your meeting, not that you need it."

"No," Brenda said, and there was that same strange look in her eye, almost sadness. "I reckon I don't."

"And I'll see you afterward, yes? We can go to dinner. Celebrate!"

Brenda smiled again, though it still didn't quite reach her eyes. "You don't forget to take that shower, okay?"

Maura hefted her bag over her shoulder, slid her heels on. "I wouldn't dream of it. Take your time, you have a key." Leaned forward and kissed Brenda again. "I love you, Brenda Leigh."

"And I love you, honey." Brenda paused, almost imperceptibly. "I'm glad I got to tell you that."

"Oh shoot," Maura said. "I've only got twenty minutes. You'll be amazing," she smiled, offering a last, brief kiss as she left the apartment. "See you tonight!"

"Mm-hmm," Brenda hummed, giving her a little wave that Maura didn't quite see.

It was only later, sitting alone on her bed in the dark, running over and over their conversation that morning, gripping the spare key she'd found lying on the entry table until it bit into her palm, that Maura realized Brenda had never actually said she'd come back.

Maura stared down at the sleeping woman, dark, ugly bruises on her delicate face, flecks of dried blood still clinging to her wild curls.

Brenda Leigh.

She still couldn't let herself feel anything, was still in a dull haze, the rush of blood deafening in her ears.

Brenda Leigh.

She had been sleeping since Maura had arrived, which had given Maura no small measure of relief. The shock she'd felt after quietly stepping into the dim exam room, the awful twist in her gut, which hadn't yet subsided, when she'd moved to the bed and seen her—her—

Brenda Leigh.

Maura didn't realize she'd been crying until a light knock at the door made reality come crashing down. She wiped at her cheeks, cleared her throat. "Come in," she murmured, hoping she sounded calm, at least.

She didn't turn toward the door as Katie entered.

"She all right?"

"Yes," Maura said, fighting the waver of emotion in her voice, not looking at Katie. "You took excellent care of her."

"I tried to get her cleaned up, at least." Maura could hear her shrug.

"You were perfect."

I'm just not perfect, is all.

"So, uh, do you need me right now, or—"

"Oh!" Maura said, finally turning to her, offering as genuine a smile as she could manage. "Go home! Get some sleep!"

Katie frowned. "Are you all right?"

"Fine, fine," Maura waved her hand dismissively. "I think just the shock of seeing someone you never thought you'd see again, is all."

"Dr. Morales is really nice," Katie said. "It's so crazy that he's here."

"It is," Maura said. "But I'm very glad to see him."

Katie hovered at the door for a moment. "Are you, uh, are you sure? You seem—"

"I'm fine," Maura said, with a firmness she didn't feel. "But you must be exhausted! So go home and I don't want to see you in here again until Tuesday."

Katie nodded, not smiling, and Maura felt a slight tug at her heart. It wasn't entirely a lie. She had been shocked to see Dr. Morales, had been so happy for those few minutes. But how could she explain this, now, when she had spent half her life trying to forget?

Remind me again why I love you.

"Oh," Maura called, "can you get Dr. Morales into one of the clinic apartments? I don't know his long-term plans, but at least we can make him comfortable while the patient recovers."

"Her name's Brenda, Dr. Morales said."

"I know," Maura replied before she could stop herself. "He, um, he mentioned it."

"Yeah, he's out in the lobby, I'll find a unit for him. Should I look for a one bedroom, or . . ." Katie drifted off meaningfully.

"Oh, of course, reserve two units please," Maura said. "I'm sure Dr. Morales would appreciate his own space."

"Got it," Katie said, stifling a yawn.

"And then, sleep. Doctor's orders," she smiled kindly. Katie gave her a thumbs-up as she closed the door softly behind her.