The In Between
Dr. Abhay Sathe banged his head in frustration against the wall of the break room. Deepika was still treating him coldly. How was he going to convince her that he truly cared for her, and was not just trying to obtain her? It was true, he had acted in jealousy and ignorance in the past, but he regretted those actions. He couldn't erase the fact that he loved her, but his care and friendship towards her had its own place in his heart. He tried so hard to be there for her. He brought her food, and sat in front of her until she finished it. He watched her cry, and hated himself for not being able to hold and comfort her. He told her words of encouragement to console her. She barely heard them. Every time, she cried out all her frustration, her anger and her pain, then abruptly stopped, wiped her tears, and ordered him to leave her alone in her office or on the terrace. He couldn't bear to see Deepika suffer like this after being hurt again by Vikrant Saxena.
Vikrant had been caught using drugs again. He messed up a patient's surgery while under the influence. While the patient's life was saved thanks to Deepika's quick intervention, irreversible damage had been done. Vikrant had not only gambled with the patient's life and put his career in jeopardy, he also violated Deepika's faith and trust in him. This time, Deepika refused to protect him. She reported him and also testified against him in his medical malpractice hearing. He lost his license and was ordered to go to rehab. Despite everything, Deepika gave him a final chance. She was still willing to be with him once he got clean and was able to get an amicable, mutual divorce from his wife, Aditi.
However, Vikrant felt that Deepika had betrayed him. He blamed her for his relapse, as she was avoiding him after she had been humiliated at the hospital and badgered by Aditi. He accused her of turning against him and instead returned to Delhi with his wife. Poor Aditi, as irritating as Abhay had found her, Vikrant wasn't deserving of her either. Aditi was steadfast in performing her wifely duty. She stood in support of him, regardless of how her husband had treated her and their marriage. Somehow, Aditi truly cared for him. Maybe now Vikrant will learn her value.
As for Deepika, her heart had sustained a deep wound. She seemed to have given up on the idea of love altogether and had retreated into herself. After taking a couple weeks of leave from the hospital, she returned, determined to focus on her career. She once again threw herself into work, but her demeanor had changed. She was still an excellent doctor, but she remained more detached from her patients. She barely even wanted to look at Abhay let alone talk to him. Although she was named Head of Emergency in Vikrant's place, which had been her dream, she hardly seemed to care. She simply assigned all the junior residents duties then dismissed them, not bothering to advise or console them more than professionally necessary. All of them were feeling the lack of morale in the Emergency Department.
Buzzzz. Abhay's phone was going off. He looked at the ID, it was Deepika. He picked it up immediately, "Hello?"
Deepika didn't even bother with a greeting, "PC has requested I see a VIP patient. She is a business partner of the hospital and a special guest of Jamshed. I need you to accompany me. Come immediately to room 45."
Abhay made his way to the room. He saw Deepika marching down the hallway and hurried to join her. She gave him a glance before launching into the patient details, "Female, thirty-two, Veronika Oberoi. She has been experiencing abdominal pain and has been repeatedly vomiting for the past 24 hours. She thinks it may be a side effect due to fertility treatments." Dr. Singh is currently occupied with an emergency, so PC has requested that we attend to her."
Deepika opened the door to the exam room and Abhay got a look at the patient. Although she looked a bit fatigued from nausea, Veronika Oberoi was an undeniably beautiful woman. Soft flowing curls framed the pretty, delicate features of her face. Her stylish and expensive business casual outfit conveyed wealth and class without being gaudy. Her face and body were those of a model and the way she carried herself conveyed that she was someone used to being in charge.
"Hello Miss Oberoi, I'm Dr. Sinha and this is Dr. Sathe," Deepika said introducing themselves.
"Hi Dr. Sinha, and hellooo Dr. Sathe," replied Veronika, with a flirtatious emphasis on the greeting to Abhay. Deepika gave a side eye at Abhay's resulting blush.
"Dr. Singh, our gynecologist, is busy in surgery. I'm the head of Emergency so I will attend to you in the meantime. I've read your file. You've been undergoing hormone treatments for IVF, correct?" asked Deepika.
Veronika nodded, "Yes, I've been taking daily injections. I only have a week of shots left," She sighed, "Not that it makes a difference now."
"Why not? That is, if you're comfortable sharing."
"No, it's absolutely fine. I had found a great donor for my baby, but two days ago he backed out due to pressure from his fiancee. Now I will have to freeze the eggs until I can find another donor."
"And you began experiencing symptoms, severe nausea, vomiting, and abdominal pain recently?"
"Yes, I was told some bloating and nausea are common side effects of the treatment. But since yesterday I have been vomiting repeatedly, and the pressure in my belly is intolerable. First I thought it might be stress from losing my donor, but when I called to consult my gynec, she said it was a serious matter and I need to go to a doctor immediately. I usually see my gynec at a private clinic, but she is out of town, so I came to the hospital."
"It was absolutely the right thing to do, Miss Oberoi, one shouldn't be neglectful in these matters. How frequent is the vomiting?"
"First of all, please call me Veronika. Miss Oberoi makes me think I'm at a board meeting. As for the vomiting, it's been every couple of hours or so since yesterday morning."
"Ok, I need to examine you. Please change into the hospital gown. You can keep your underwear on, but all the outer layers must come off. We'll step outside to let you change. Are you comfortable with Dr. Sathe watching the examination, or should I call a female nurse?"
"Dr. Sathe can absolutely watch," Veronika said with a smirk, "I don't mind at all. By the way, Dr. Sathe, can I know your first name?"
Abhay blushed again, "It's Abhay, ma'am."
Veronika winced, "Please don't call me ma'am. I know you must be like ten years younger than me, but I'm not ready to be an aunty."
"Oh no, it's not like that," Abhay said hurriedly, "You're very fit— I mean…" he stammered, lost on what to say.
"What Dr. Sathe means to say," Deepika said with a stern look at Abhay, "Is that your care is very important to the hospital and you are our guest, and guests should be treated with respect."
"Yes, exactly! Thank you Dr. Sinha," said Abhay in relief.
"Ok, I believe you, but on one condition," said Veronika, wagging a finger at Abhay, "You must call me Veronika."
"Yes, Veronika," Abhay said shyly.
"That's better, Abhay," Veronika said sweetly, "Can I call you Abhay?"
"Of course."
Veronika smiled in response.
Deepika and Abhay left the room to let Veronika get changed. As soon as the door swung shut, Deepika gestured for Abhay to come out of earshot, then swung around, crossing her arms with a frown on her face.
"What was that?" she asked irritably.
"What was what?" replied Abhay, confused.
"Why were you flirting with Miss Oberoi?"
"I wasn't flirting. I was just trying to make her comfortable! It was Veronika who was flirting!"
"Oh please, you were absolutely affected by Veronika," scoffed Deepika, "You were blushing and tripping over your words like a love-struck school boy. Patients flirt all the time, but doctors shouldn't lose their heads over it."
"Sorry," Abhay snapped, "I apologize for reacting like a regular, straight human male caught off guard when a drop-dead gorgeous woman flirts with them."
Deepika shook her head in disgust and muttered "men", under her breath. They both crossed their arms and simply glared at each other until Veronika's voice came through the door, "Hello? doctors, I'm ready."
They reentered the examination room, Veronika was laying down on the cot in a hospital gown, Deepika listened to her heartbeat. She rolled up the gown and examined her legs.
"No swelling or discoloration in the legs to indicate DVT, deep vein thrombosis. You haven't felt any cramping or soreness in your legs, right?" inquired Deepika.
Veronika shook her head.
Deepika, lifted up the gown to expose the abdomen, revealing Veronika's lacy underwear.
Abhay kept his face impassive. He had seen hundreds of human bodies. Many even less clothed than Veronika. He was a doctor, he was completely unaffected by the various degrees of nakedness of his patients. He may have squabbled with her because of her tone, but Deepika was absolutely right. He needed to be professional when working.
And this logic worked for him, until Veronika looked him right in the eyes and winked. Then his expression may have slipped a little.
Deepika pressed down gently on Veronika's abdomen and she hissed in pain.
"Sorry, does it hurt?"
"Yeah, it's really uncomfortable, like I'm going to burst, and it makes me feel like throwing up again."
"Ok, I believe fluid has built up in your abdomen. We will do an ultrasound to confirm. I'll call for the ultrasound tech to bring the machine."
A few minutes after a message was sent to the tech, the ultrasound machine was wheeled into the room. Deepika performed the ultrasound and sent a message to Dr. Singh.
"Dr. Singh has confirmed a diagnosis. You are experiencing Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome. The hormones from the fertility injections have caused fluid to leak into your abdomen, causing the severe swelling and vomiting. We need to remove the fluid. We will put you under local anesthesia. You will be conscious and your abdomen will be numbed. Then we will draw out the fluid using a special needle. It's not a high-risk procedure, but like anything else there is always a chance of complications. We will do our best to prevent that. Afterwards, you will need to be on an IV for a couple hours to treat dehydration. We can do everything right here in the room."
Veronika signed her consent for the procedure.
"Dr. Sathe, can you please ready the equipment for paracentesis?"
Abhay nodded.
"Hurry back, Abhay," said Veronika, "I feel better when you are in the room."
Abhay nearly ran out in his rush to retrieve the instruments.
"So… what's the deal with Dr. Sathe?" asked Veronika once Abhay had left.
"I don't understand the question, what do you mean?" Deepika replied with a puzzled expression.
"Meaning, what's his status? Married, in a relationship, single? And if he's single, is he looking for a partner?"
Deepika eyes widened slightly. This Veronika was really too much! "Sorry, I don't discuss my juniors' personal lives," she replied.
"Oh Dr. Sinha, how boring. But actually, you're right, even I don't discuss my employees' personal lives with others. I'm a true professional."
"True professional, my foot. This woman seemed like a maneater." Deepika cringed internally at the intrusive thought. She should know better than passing shallow judgments on a woman she just met. People forming instant impressions and making assumptions of using sexual appeal to climb the ladder or take advantage of others was something she and millions of other professional women struggled with on a daily basis. She didn't need to contribute to gender discrimination just because this woman hit on Abhay. Actually, why did it even bother her so much?
"I don't want them distracted from work, that's all," Deepika mumbled, "Their personal decisions are their own matter."
"That's a good policy. But you must make an effort to get to know your employees as well. Their aspirations, their doubts, their likes and dislikes. It's easy to say one must keep their personal and professional lives separate. But personal stress absolutely bleeds into work. How can you properly mentor them if they aren't comfortable opening up to you?"
Deepika looked away awkwardly. When was the last time she bothered to properly speak to Abhay, Sia, Wasim, Peroz, or Esha? If they were struggling with something would she even be aware?
"I'll keep that in mind. Thanks for the tip," said Deepika.
Abhay returned with the setup.
"Dr. Sathe, since you had done such a good job with PC's pericardiocentesis, I'll let you do the paracentesis," said Deepika. Abhay took over as Deepika supervised and the procedure went smoothly.
"We're all done here," said Deepika, "Dr. Singh will come by to check on you and prescribe you some medications."
"Thank you doctors," said Veronika.
Deepika and Abhay were leaving when Veronika called out, "Dr. Sathe, I mean Abhay, can you stay back for a moment?"
"Uh, yeah, of course," Abhay replied, looking a bit uncertain.
"Is there a problem? I mean, from what I saw Dr. Sathe performed the procedure perfectly. Were you unsatisfied with something?" asked Deepika concernedly.
"No, no. There's no issue. I would just like to speak to Dr. Sathe in private please," said Veronika.
"Oh, sure…" Deepika left the room, although for some reason she felt bothered leaving Abhay alone with Veronika.
Abhay came out. He seemed a bit distracted. He didn't immediately notice that Deepika was in the hallway, so he was startled a little when she came up behind him.
"What did Veronika want?" Deepika asked.
"It was nothing major," Abhay said, shoving his hands in his pockets, "She wanted to thank me personally for performing the procedure."
"And she couldn't thank you in front of me?" Deepika asked suspiciously.
"I don't know! Here, I have an idea, why don't you go back in and question our VIP guest?" Abhay suggested sarcastically.
Deepika fell quiet. She had a feeling that Abhay was hiding something. But if he didn't want to tell her she couldn't force him. Anyway, what did it matter? Veronika would be ready to leave the hospital in a couple hours and this was probably the last time that she had to bother with Miss Oberoi.
*One month later*
The rumbling in Deepika's stomach indicated that it was lunchtime. The junior residents had all left for lunch, so she didn't want to leave the ER unsupervised until they came back. It wasn't that busy, she supposed she could go grab a coffee to tide her over.
She was passing the lobby on the way to the canteen, when she spotted a head of shiny curly hair, in a chic pantsuit and stilettos. She got a sinking feeling in her stomach. Why was Veronika Oberoi back at the hospital? It had been a while since the procedure and any complications would've been noticeable right away.
Deepika went over to investigate.
"Hi, Miss Oberoi."
"Hi doctor! I thought I told you to call me Veronika."
"Right, Veronika, how are you? Is everything alright? Are you still having symptoms?"
"Oh no, you took great care of me, and Dr. Singh's meds also worked. I'm perfectly fine now."
"Good, glad to hear that. So you're here on business?"
"Actually, I'm here to take Abhay out on our lunch date."
Deepika was sure she must have misheard. "Lunch date?" she repeated.
"Yeah. By the way… can I call you Deepika?"
Deepika simply nodded, dumbfounded.
"The thing is, Abhay calls you Deepika, so now it's just stuck in my mind. Frankly, I didn't know you two were close enough that he calls his senior by her first name," Veronika said with a laugh, "The way you were talking that day, I felt that you were very formal with your juniors."
"I'm sorry. I'm very confused. You and Abhay were talking about me?"
"No, not about you specifically. But you come up in conversation. Even outside the hospital he thinks a lot about work."
Deepika was still very lost. She didn't understand why Abhay and Veronika would be talking at all, especially outside the hospital. But before she could ask further questions, she heard Abhay's voice calling out.
"Ronnie!" Abhay exclaimed shocked, "What are you doing here? I thought we were meeting at the restaurant."
"Ronnie? First Veronika and now 'Ronnie'? What is going on? How were these two so friendly?" wondered Deepika.
"I know, but I couldn't wait to see you, so I thought I'd swing by and surprise you! Come on, we'll go together in my car," said Veronika.
Abhay glanced at Deepika, who was slowly piecing it together.
"Are you two seeing each other?" Deepika asked in a carefully neutral tone.
"Abhay! You haven't told her? Well, it's only been a month. I don't blame him for keeping it to himself. We've only managed to go out a couple times so far thanks to our hectic schedules. But we call and text all the time, don't we?" Veronika said, grinning brightly at Abhay.
On the other end of the lobby, the junior surgical residents were exiting the canteen.
"I'm glad we decided to go out instead. Today's lunch selection was not good," Peroz complained.
"I have an idea, let's go to my dad's restaurant," said Sia.
"You always want to go to your dad's restaurant," whined Peroz.
"So? My dad's restaurant is good!" Sia argued.
"Let's do something different for once… I haven't had Thai food in a while," countered Peroz.
"Guys, I saw a really cool fusion place on my socials. Let's go there and I can do a live session for my followers," suggested Esha.
"All these places sound expensive," grumbled Ansari, "What's wrong with a dhaba (no-frills, roadside restaurant)? Cheap, filling, and delicious."
"Ugh, we'll never agree this way," groaned Sia, "And where is Abhay?"
"Abhay said he has to run some important errands today, so he can't eat lunch with us," replied Ansari.
"Wait a minute… Abhay is right there," said Peroz pointing to where Abhay, Deepika, and Veronika were standing, "But who is that lady glued to Abhay's side?"
"So she's Abhay's 'important errands'," said Sia amusedly, "Wow, not bad Abhay."
"You think that's his girlfriend?!" exclaimed Peroz, "I can't believe Abhay didn't tell me he's seeing someone. Sia, did he mention anything to you?"
"No, but I'm his ex. We've made up, but it's still kind of awkward right? I wonder who she is."
Esha gasped, "Hold on, I know who that is!"
"Really, how do you know?" asked Peroz.
"That's Veronika Oberoi," Esha said excitedly. She quickly pulled up Veronika's picture and details on her phone to confirm. "Yes, I was right! She's a Harvard alumni, like me. She's the daughter of a businessman, but all her success she achieved on her own. She started her first company at only twenty-five! It's a gifting and event planning company. She raised the funding and made the proposals and everything… In the past she was featured as one of the most promising business people in the country under the age of thirty. Since then her company has expanded to include branches all over India, and has also acquired other companies. Her clients include some of the biggest celebrities and influential people. FMS is one of her clients, all our conferences and events are planned by her company."
"Even the child prodigy is impressed, this lady must really be incredible," said Peroz.
Ansari gave a low whistle of amazement. "This lady sounds even more high maintenance than Sia," he said, "How did Sathe score her?"
"Hey, I'm not high maintenance!" said an offended Sia.
"Yeah, yeah," Ansari said, brushing aside Sia's complaint, "The point remains that Sathe has really hit it out of the field. Kya mast item hai (What a hot "item" - item referring to a beautiful woman).
"Wasim! You can't call a lady an "item", Sia said in outrage.
"Ok, sorry. But hats off to Sathe," said Ansari, "You think she has a sister?"
He winced at Sia's responding glare.
"Hold on, if all you aunties are done gossiping, let's go introduce ourselves. If I post a pic of me with the Veronika Oberoi, youth icon, my follower count will go through the roof," said Esha, making a hand motion pantomiming the growth of her social media following.
"Esha, you're too much," said Peroz, "We can't just go barging into their conversation."
"Why not? Abhay's our friend," said Sia.
"Yeah, I want to meet her too," agreed Ansari.
"Ok, but no one start interrogating Abhay," said Peroz, defeated.
"Don't worry, we'll do that later, when he's alone," said Sia.
Thus decided, the group made their way over to the front of the lobby.
Veronika was filling in a very uncomfortable Deepika with details of her and Abhay's late night messages when the gang arrived.
"Abhay!" Sia exclaimed as if they had just seen him, "We thought you were busy. We decided to go out to lunch instead. Oh, sorry, who's your guest?"
"Uh, this is– " Abhay started.
"Veronika, Veronika Oberoi," Veronika introduced herself, "You all must be Abhay's colleagues," she said, shaking everyone's hands.
"And friends," Esha quickly added, vigorously shaking Veronika's hand, "You're Veronika Oberoi of Elysian Events, right?"
"I am," said Veronika happily.
"That's so cool!" said Sia, "How do you and Abhay know each other?"
"Abhay? Are you going to tell them?" Veronika asked, raising an eyebrow.
Abhay coughed, "Of course. Guys, Veronika and I are dating. She's my girlfriend."
"Wow, Abhay, that's the first time you've said I'm your girlfriend. I guess we're official!" declared Veronika excitedly, hugging Abhay tightly.
Deepika's eyes were immediately drawn to Abhay's arms around Veronika's enviable waist.
"This calls for more than a lunch date. We need to celebrate," said Veronika, "Why don't you all come to lunch with us at The Reverie? My treat."
"The Reverie?" gasped Sia, "The top-notch French restaurant? That's impossible to get into without a reservation months in advance. And that too for such a large party."
"Don't worry, I have an in," Veronika said winking.
Everyone chattered excitedly. "But, don't you two want to spend time together?" asked Peroz hesitantly.
"I'm sure Abhay won't mind if I want to get to know his friends better now that I'm his girlfriend, right Abhay?" Veronika said.
Abhay shook his head, "I think it would be great if we all hang out and you can get to know Veronika. She's amazing," Abhay said affectionately.
"Great, let's go," said Veronika, "Deepika, you're coming right."
"No thank you," Deepika said with her arms crossed, "Someone needs to keep an eye on the ER. Besides, I'm not a fan of fancy restaurants. You all enjoy yourselves."
She abruptly turned and walked away.
"Don't mind Deepika," said Abhay, "She's always in a bad mood these days."
The group left for lunch.
Deepika ordered her usually cold coffee at the canteen. She took a sip and grimaced, "Why is the coffee bitter today?" she demanded of the barista.
"Ma'am, I've put in the usual amount of sugar you like," replied the confused barista, "Would you like me to make it again?"
"Never mind. I'm not in the mood for it any longer," Deepika snapped, tossing the coffee container in the trash.
She returned to the ER, pacing back and forth. There were still no emergencies, which was a good thing, but Deepika felt restless anyway.
She did her rounds again, despite having done so only a little while earlier. The patients were all stable. She was bored. And hungry. Why had the junior residents not returned yet? It had been over an hour and a half. Probably slow service at the fancy restaurant. That's why she didn't bother with those kinds of places.
Finally, she heard the laughter and voices of the residents returning.
Deepika crossed her arms. "What took you all so long," she asked crossly, "This is a hospital, you can't just take breaks at your leisure."
"Sorry Dr. Sinha," Sia apologized sheepishly, "We finished lunch pretty fast, but we were having too much fun and lost track of time."
"The food was just awesome," raved Esha, "My blog is going to be drool-worthy when I upload all the pics."
"Miss Veronika is also very interesting. I never thought I'd want to hear a rich person talk so much about themselves," said Ansari.
"Really, great choice Abhay," said Peroz, "Veronika is the full package. Total girlfriend material."
Everyone agreed that Veronika was wonderful.
"You should have come, Dr. Sinha," Abhay said with a cutting gaze, "I'm sure Dr. Ali would've managed the ER for a couple hours."
"I'm sure, but I'm the Head of Emergency," Deepika, with an icy tone, "I have a duty to uphold."
The other residents fidgeted uncomfortably. There was a sudden shift in the atmosphere due to Abhay and Deepika and they weren't sure what the matter was.
"Well, everyone back to work," Peroz said casually, walking off the tension.
The group broke up to go focus on their individual responsibilities.
Deepika went to finally eat lunch, but her appetite seemed to have been killed. She spooned soup into her mouth sourly. Either the canteen had really gone downhill, or she was coming down with something because everything tasted bland and gross to her today.
She sighed. She knew she was being overly grumpy and her residents didn't deserve that. She had tried following Veronika's advice about becoming a better mentor, but she hadn't managed to gain back the previous repartee she had with her juniors. Maybe she should have gone to lunch with them. She just honestly felt very weird seeing Abhay and Veronika together. She couldn't quite understand why someone like Veronika would date a junior doctor. Or maybe she was feeling bad because she was still nursing a heartbreak and she was triggered seeing a happy couple.
Whatever it was, Deepika was sure she'd get over it soon.
*One week later*
Deepika tightened her ponytail as she walked towards the elevator. She had a surgery today and was mentally going through her pre-op checklist, so she didn't notice who else was waiting for the elevator with her.
"Penny for your thoughts?"
Deepika startled, turning her head and finding Veronika standing next to her. Was she here to see her boyfriend, already early in the morning? Was this just going to be a regular occurrence?
"Hi Veronika. Sorry, I didn't see you. I was distracted. Did you come to meet Abhay?"
"No, I wished him earlier on the phone. I might swing by to see him if he has some time, but I have a prior appointment. I actually came to see Dr. Singh. I had a follow-up with her. I wanted to get her opinion on whether my body has recovered enough for pregnancy."
"Pregnancy? But I thought your donor backed out?"
"Yes, but I think I may have a new donor pretty soon. Fingers crossed! Oh the elevator is here."
Deepika and Veronika got in the elevator. Deepika pressed the buttons for the surgical floor and also the floor for Dr. Singh's office.
Deepika's floor arrived first and she bid a polite goodbye to Veronika. "I hope your appointment goes well."
"Thanks Deepika," replied Veronika.
As Deepika stepped out of the elevator onto the floor, a sudden epiphany struck her. She had a suspicion, she needed to tell Abhay about it. Right now, she needed to focus on the surgery, but as soon as that was done Deepika was determined to find and talk to Abhay.
After the two hour surgery was successfully completed, Deepika quickly changed her scrubs and messaged Abhay to come meet her. He replied back that he was on his way to the canteen to grab a cup of coffee. Deepika replied that she would meet him there.
She made her way to the canteen and saw Abhay sitting at a table. She took a chair opposite to him.
"Hi Deepika, this is a pleasant surprise," Abhay said, "It's been a while since we've met like this." He pointed to the glass of cold coffee in front of her. "I took the liberty of ordering for you, I hope you don't mind."
"Thanks Abhay, but I didn't come here to chit-chat."
Abhay sighed, "I'm aware, Deepika, but it wouldn't kill either of us to exchange pleasantries."
Deepika leaned forward, "Listen… I'm sorry if I've been behaving rudely with you. But I really have something important to discuss with you. It's about Veronika."
"Veronika? Is everything ok with her?"
"She's fine. You're the one I'm worried about."
"I don't understand. Tell me clearly."
"Veronika is using you. I ran into her this morning. She had an appointment with the gynecologist. She's preparing to get pregnant."
"So? I'm aware that she wants to be a single mother. What's wrong with that?"
"You're not getting it! Ok, has she mentioned anything about finding a new donor?"
"No… But that's her personal business."
"How can that just be her personal business when you two are in a relationship? Maybe you two aren't very serious about each other right now, but going forward this decision will affect you as well. Shouldn't she at least tell you about it?"
Abhay slouched back in his chair with his arms crossed. "Veronika is my girlfriend, and yes we haven't been together for very long, but I trust her. If she's found another donor I'm sure she will share with me very soon."
"Or, she hasn't told you yet, because you are her donor."
Abhay stared at her in surprise. "We have discussed no such thing."
"Then she's waiting for the right opportunity. Butter you up until you'll agree to everything."
Abhay frowned. "Listen Deepika, I don't know what your problem is with my relationship, but there's no such thing as you're insinuating. Veronika and I enjoy each other's company. There's no ulterior motive behind it."
"Abhay, don't be stupid. She's not interested in you, she just wants your sperm!"
There was a sudden silence in the cafeteria as patients and staff turned to stare. Deepika reddened, regretting raising her voice. This was definitely not the place for such a delicate conversation.
"Come with me," Deepika said.
She tugged Abhay into an empty hallway.
Deepika continued the conversation where they had left off. "Think about it. She needs a sperm donor for a baby. You're a doctor. You're young, healthy, intelligent, good looking… an ideal candidate. She wants to trap you with her charm and beguile you into becoming her donor, then she will dump you the minute she becomes pregnant! She's only using you for her own means, don't fall for it!"
"Frankly Deepika, you have no right to lecture anyone on who they should or should not be with. I warned you a hundred times against Vikrant and you refused to listen to me," Abhay scoffed.
Deepika stepped forward fuming, getting right in Abhay's face.
"So as retribution, you're going to ruin your own life? You're going to let Veronika toy with your heart like Vikrant toyed with mine? I'm saying this for your own good Abhay."
Abhay's eyes flashed in rage. Without warning, he turned and slammed a hand against the wall next to Deepika, forcing her to step back and flatten herself against the wall. There was just a fraction of space between their bodies. Although she wasn't technically trapped, Deepika felt frozen like a deer in the headlights at Abhay's expression.
"Don't," he said frostily, "Don't you dare compare that scum with Veronika. Don't project your own insecurities and failed relationship on me. You don't get to do this to me. You don't get to play the concern card. For once I've found a woman who I like that likes me back. I'm not being idealistic. I'm not expecting it to be true love right away. But I'm willing to give this a chance. You kept telling me to move on, and now that I am, you're stopping me?"
"I… no, I want you to move on. I just don't want anyone taking advantage of you," stammered Deepika.
"No one's taking advantage of me. I'm not a child, Veronika understands that. I wish you would as well." Abhay stepped back, allowing Deepika some room to move.
"Ronnie is hosting a party at a club for my birthday tonight. She says I can invite whoever I want. All the junior residents are coming. You should come too. See with your own eyes that a smart, successful older woman can be interested in me!" Abhay said angrily.
"It's your birthday?" Deepika said softly.
"If you had paid any attention, you would have seen people wishing me. But you were only focused on your agenda to paint Veronika as an opportunist."
"Sorry, I had a surgery today, and then I came straight to talk to you…" Deepika's excuse sounded weak to her own ears. She recalled vaguely this morning that Veronika mentioned wishing Abhay something on the phone, but she was so focused on the gyno appointment that she didn't follow up on it.
Abhay texted something, and Deepika's phone beeped. She checked it to see a party invite message.
"I would've given this invite to you earlier, but frankly I didn't think you'd want to come," Abhay said.
"Do you want me to come?"
Abhay sighed. "I always want you to come, Deepika, why don't you understand that?" he said sadly. "Tonight at 7:00 PM, if you can put up with a couple hours of my presence with my girlfriend."
He turned and walked away.
Deepika felt low. She didn't want to upset Abhay on his birthday of all days, but she felt that it was very necessary to warn him. Abhay had matured a lot since she met him, but he still acted emotionally. It wouldn't be hard for a smart businesswoman like Veronika to manipulate those emotions. She glanced at the invite on her phone. She wasn't still wasn't sure if she should attend. Abhay had said he wanted her to come, but he had also only given it to last minute.
The rest of the day passed in a blur. Deepika and Abhay passed each other multiple times in the ER throughout their rotations in silence. There was only one time she asked for his assistance, and he replied that he was busy dressing a wound, but Peroz was free.
Around 6:00 PM Deepika was thinking of calling it a night. Her shift had been over an hour ago and the junior residents had all finished or taken early leave to prepare to attend the party. The evening shift nurses had arrived and there were other senior doctors on call to handle the ER.
She checked the details of the invite. It was at a nightclub that was a bit far and traffic would add to the commute time. She would be late if she went home to get ready now, but she could still arrive at a reasonable time. Deepika felt that she owed Abhay at least this much on his birthday.
Deepika drove home, showered, then examined her wardrobe. She didn't really have anything that screamed "club outfit". Eventually, she went with a simple black dress. She had worn it once, to a medical conference, but it was basic enough to go with everything and was made with quality material. She threw on a few accessories, and dabbed on a bit of eyeliner and lipgloss. That should be enough. She was probably going to consume copious amounts of alcohol to get through the night, so it was best that she call a cab.
Her ride arrived at the address in front of a swanky building. Deepika exited the car and paid her fare. The club seemed far more upscale than she had initially thought. There were people all decked up in flashy outfits, waiting in a long line to get in. The invite said to go right to the front, so she did.
The bouncer raised an eyebrow at her, looking her up and down. "You need to get in line, lady."
"Um no, I'm here for someone," Deepika blurted out, feeling self-conscious.
He looked at her skeptically, "Are you here to pick someone up? You can't come into the club to do that. You need to call them outside," he said rudely.
Deepika mentally smacked herself for talking foolishly, "No, I meant I'm here for a private party. Dr. Deepika Sinha, I was invited to Miss Oberoi's gathering." She showed the guard the invite on her phone.
The bouncer's demeanor changed immediately.
"Oh, you were invited by Miss Oberoi." He pulled out the phone and checked something. "Ok, you are on the list, can I just check your identification?"
Deepika showed him her ID.
"Alright, my apologies ma'am, Please use the side entrance and go right upstairs. Miss Oberoi has the private suite booked."
Deepika rolled her eyes as she walked up the stairs. Veronika seemed to have a lot of clout and was used to mingling with high society. So why was she messing around with a young working class boy like Abhay? True, as a doctor he had the potential to join the upper class, but that was many years off, and still nowhere in Veronika's league.
She entered the suite, which was decorated luxuriously, but tastefully. It was not overly extravagant or tacky, but stylish and chic.
Abhay was reclining on the couches with the other juniors enjoying drinks and snacks, while Veronika was saying something to the waitstaff.
Deepika had to admit Veronika looked stunning. A short golden sequin tight dress hugged her curves. The plunging neckline was seductive. She looked sensuous without being gaudy. Her hair, makeup, accessories, everything compelled onlookers to gaze at her.
Veronika spotted her and came to greet her. "Deepika! I'm so glad you can make it! Nice outfit…" she said with a smirk.
"I had an emergency patient at the hospital," Deepika lied. "I didn't have much time to change."
"No, no, it's fine, you look gorgeous! I mean it," Veronika laughed, "Everybody here has a tendency to overdo it, but when you're dancing and sweating you regret not wearing something simple!"
"Thanks, you look amazing and the party looks very nice," said Deepika, trying to be sociable.
"Thank you, I planned everything myself."
"Of course, you run an event planning company. I should've known."
They walked over to join the others.
"Deepika," Abhay said in surprise, "You came."
"Of course," she rummaged in her purse and pulled out a small gift, "Here you go, happy birthday."
"Thank you," Abhay took the gift, tucking it inside his jacket pocket.
Deepika sat down. She tried to engage with the others in conversation, but a lot of it seemed to involve inside jokes within the group, or stories from Veronika about various eccentric clients. Deepika went and grabbed some snacks from the lavish spread. The food looked good and it was a way to occupy herself so she didn't seem the odd one out.
A little while later, a beautifully decorated cake was rolled in.
"Alright everyone, time for the cake!" Veronika exclaimed happily, clapping her hands.
"Veronika loves anything sweet," Abhay explained.
"Yes, and that's why I love you," giggled Veronika.
Everyone sang 'Happy Birthday' then Abhay blew out the candles and cut the cake. He fed the first piece to Veronika, and she fed him back.
"Happy birthday, honey bunny," said Veronika to Abhay.
"Thanks baby," he replied.
Deepika scowled. They had only been together for a few weeks and already had nicknames for each other. " 'Honey bunny'? Yuck!"
Abhay fed a small bit of cake to everyone. When he got to Deepika, he hesitated. She leaned forward to encourage him. He smiled, bringing the piece of cake forward, but before he reached her mouth he diverted the slice to feed Ansari instead. Abhay grinned at Deepika teasingly.
"Oh, is that how he wanted to play it? Take this Abhay Sathe!" thought Deepika, as she dipped a finger in icing and spread it across his cheek. Abhay blinked, before scooping up a bit of icing himself and smearing it on Deepika's nose. They laughed as everyone also cheered at their antics.
"Looks like Abhika is back!" exclaimed Sia.
"Abhika?" asked Peroz, confused.
"Yeah, Abhay plus Deepika equals Abhika," explained Sia.
"Oh, that's so cute, hashtag Abhika," Esha crooned, as she recorded the scene on her phone.
"I don't understand all this hashtag jhamela (botheration)," said Ansari, "but it's good that Dr. Sinha and Sathe have made up. Hopefully, this means no more unnecessary tension at the ER."
After everyone had their fill of cake, they decided to head downstairs to the main part of the club to do some dancing.
Veronika immediately dragged Abhay to the dance floor.
Deepika headed straight for the bar, as did Sia. Deepika ordered vodka, and Sia a mojito.
Despite the crowd, she still had a clear view of Abhay and Veronika dancing to "The Hook Up Song".
"Doesn't it bother you?" she asked Sia.
"What?"
Deepika pointed towards Abhay and Veronika.
"Oh, them. Maybe it would have bothered me earlier. But I've genuinely moved on. Abhay and I are in a good place now. He's apologized, and I've also acknowledged that I overreacted. Both my heart and ego were hurt. It was the first relationship for both of us and we may have been a bit clueless. I'm happy with myself now, and Abhay also has the right to move on. Whoever that girl he had feelings for, he told me that she doesn't feel the same way for him. We've both been let down in love, so we're even now."
Deepika shifted uncomfortably. Sia had no idea that the girl Abhay had had feelings for was none other than Deepika herself.
"Besides Dr. Sinha, everyone deserves to find someone that will truly make them happy, right?"
"Right… you know, outside the hospital, you can call me Deepika."
Sia smiled, "Ok Deepika, I'm gonna go dance. You should come too."
"No thanks. Not really my thing."
Sia shrugged and went off to join the dance crowd.
Deepika watched the dancers passively, sipping her drink.
Esha was having a blast dancing while Peroz awkwardly tried to match her steps. Ansari was teaching Sia some 'basti (local colony) style' moves while she taught him the latest trendy steps.
Deepika grimaced. Everyone seemed to be having a good time, only she was miserable.
"I hate clubs…" she moaned to herself. The music was too loud, there were too many people, wherever she looked there were couples with their hands all over each other, and she felt like an old lady amongst all these youths.
One of the youths came up to the bar counter and spoke to the bartender. "Hey another round of tequila shots for my friends… and one for the lady," he said, nodding towards Deepika.
"Oh, I don't think I should have tequila," Deepika said. She remembered feeling terrible after her night out doing shots with Abhay. Something twinged within her at the memory.
The boy shrugged, "You look like you need it though."
Maybe she did need some tequila. The vodka didn't seem to be doing anything to improve her mood. "Ok, thank you."
The bartender poured the shots, and slid one over to Deepika. She raised a toast to her benefactor, before downing the shot.
He nodded, giving her a thumbs up, taking the tray back to his corner.
Deepika looked at the empty glass, then signaled to the bartender for two more.
She was on her fifth shot, when Veronika stalked over, looking irritated. She was speaking to someone on her smart watch.
"It's too loud here, I'll call you late," Veronika hung up. "Deepika, what are you doing by yourself?"
Deepika pointed to her shot glass.
"Yes, I see that! How many have you done, maybe it's time to cool it girl," said Veronika concernedly. Her watch beeped with a message.
Veronika sighed. "I have to make an urgent call. I told everyone not to bother me tonight, but this is important. Listen, can you please go hang with Abhay? I don't want to leave the birthday boy alone and I don't know where everyone else is in this crowd."
"Uhh…" Deepika muttered unintelligibly.
"Promise it won't take more than 20 minutes, please?"
Deepika nodded, as her mind seemed to be blanking on how to talk.
Veronika went to take care of her business while Deepika finished her shot and walked over unsteadily to Abhay.
"Mmmm, Abhaaayyy…"
"Deepika? Are you ok?"
"Uh yeah," she laughed as she swayed. "Your girlfriend," she hiccuped, putting air quotes around the word 'girlfriend', "told me to keep you company. So here I am!"
She teetered forward, almost falling into Abhay. Instinctively, he grabbed her around the waist to steady. "You're drunk, you should go sit down."
"Nooo! I wanna dance," Deepika whined.
"Have you seen yourself? You can barely stand let alone dance."
Deepika gave him a pout, which he had to admit was very cute. "So keep holding me," she said, she wrapped her arms around his neck pressing her body tightly against Abhay.
"Whoa, I don't think this is a good idea."
"You just don't want me to have any fun! Come on, pleeeease? One dance," Deepika said, giving him puppy-dog eyes.
Abhay sighed, "Ok just one, then I'm taking you up to the suite to rest."
The DJ started a new song:
Jo akh lad jaave
(When our eyes meet)
Saari raat neend na aave
(I can't sleep all night along)
Mainu bada tadpaave
(I feel tormented)
Dil chain kahin na paave paave paave
(My heart feels restless everywhere)
Abhay swayed with Deepika in his arms as she attempted to swivel her hips and bob her head along to the song.
They were unaware that they were being watched.
"Esha, please don't tell me that's Dr. Sinha rubbing up on Abhay," Peroz said in a shocked tone.
"It's called dancing Peroz, look around, everyone is doing it," said Esha, rolling her eyes.
"That's not dancing, that's getting physical with clothes on," Peroz spluttered.
Sia came over, pulling Ansari by the hand. "Oh my god, are you guys seeing this?" she said in astonishment.
"No, we're blind… Of course we're seeing it, that's why we're standing around staring," Peroz said, throwing his hands up in exasperation.
"All you bewdas (alcoholics) have influenced Dr. Sinha too. Look at her condition," tutted Ansari.
"Oh chill. Don't be fuddy-duddies like Peroz. Let Dr. Sinha have some fun. Just because she's older she has to be boring?" countered Esha.
"Esha, it's not about being older. Dr. Sinha is Abhay's boss. She's all of our bosses. And on top of it, Abhay is dating Veronika. How can he dance with Dr. Sinha like that?" Peroz argued.
"Ugh, you're so conservative. This is nothing. It's just two people having a good time. Not that you would know anything about that."
"Hello! This is India, not the US. All this doesn't fly here."
"Ok, guys don't fight," said Sia. "But actually, Peroz has a point. I don't think Veronika is going to like this."
"Yeah. One time, that sister of Saxena came and made such a ruckus in the hospital. Now if Veronika comes aur phir se koi raada bhid gayi toh Dr. Sinha ke izzat ke vaat lag jayegi (and some other fight breaks out then Dr. Sinha's reputation will be in shambles). She had regained her reputation after so much trouble," Ansari mused.
"Yes, no thanks to you and your gossip circle," rebuked Sia, giving him the side-eye.
"I am sorry for that. It was wrong of me. But other people's mouths can't be stopped. And Sheriyar will throw a fit. Isn't Veronika an old acquaintance of his? I'm worried about Dr. Sinha's job."
"Veronika's not like that, right? She seemed nice to me," Peroz said anxiously.
"Niceness goes out the window when a woman feels cheated," said Sia, "Look at what happened between me and Abhay."
"Sia is right. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," concurred Ansari.
"Ok everyone relax," said Esha, "Let's not jump to any conclusions. Dr. Sinha is clearly drunk, and everyone knows how caring Abhay is. He's probably looking after her so creeps don't try to hit on her. Veronika is a modern, open-minded woman, I'm sure she'll be understanding."
"I hope you're right Esha," Peroz said glumly.
The song came to a close and a new one started.
"Deepika," Abhay gently extracted himself from her embrace, "The song is over, we'll go upstairs now?"
"Fine," Deepika said, twirling a strand of her hair.
Abhay helped Deepika back up to the suite, and laid her gently down on the sofa. He turned to leave but Deepika grabbed his hand to stop him. "Abhay… stay, please."
Abhay hesitated. On one hand, Veronika should be back soon and would be looking for him. On the other hand, he could never refuse Deepika. Especially not when she was looking at him like that. A few more minutes couldn't hurt.
He sat down next to Deepika on the couch. She immediately cuddled up to him and put her head on his shoulder. Abhay felt like he should move away, but he couldn't bring himself to.
"Abhay… I've been really mean to you haven't I? I'm sorry. You've been such a good friend to me," said Deepika in a melancholy tone.
"It's ok, Deepika."
"No, it's not ok. You're so good, you know that? You're too good for Veronika. You deserve… everything you want," the last part she whispered with her face mere inches away from Abhay's. Abhay felt rooted to the spot. He could feel Deepika's breath tickling his face, her hand was on his chest and he felt as if the warmth of it was burning through his shirt. Her eyes seemed to be asking him a question he was afraid to answer. He had been close to Deepika before, but never like this. Somewhere in the back of his mind, alarm bells were ringing, but right now, he didn't care.
A small cough broke the magic of the moment. Abhay swiveled his head around at the sound. It was Veronika.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude. I was just taking a call out on the balcony and I saw you two when I came back in," Veronika said with a pointed look that conveyed that she wasn't contrite at all about interrupting them.
"Ronnie… It's not what it looks like. Deepika is very drunk," Abhay attempted to explain.
"It's okay, Abhay. I trust you. Why don't you go back down? I'll sit with Deepika for a bit," said Veronika.
Abhay nodded, got up from the couch, and with a last look at Deepika, he left.
Deepika felt like someone had splashed her with cold water. Seeing Veronika was sobering and reminded her where she was and what she was doing. How could she throw herself at Abhay like that? Her cheeks burned in embarrassment.
Veronika sat down next to Deepika, and Deepika avoided her gaze.
"How are you feeling? I know you had a lot of shots. I shouldn't have asked you to go to Abhay."
"I'm ok, just a bit dizzy," Deepika mumbled.
"Here, drink some water," Veronika grabbed a bottle of water from the side table.
Deepika thanked her and drank a few sips.
"You know, I'm glad you and Abhay are friends again. I heard you had some falling out and Abhay seemed to miss you terribly," Veronika said casually.
"You don't have to pretend."
"What?"
"I said, you don't have to pretend to be so nice," Deepika said cynically, "I know full well what you're trying to do with Abhay."
"What am I trying to do?" asked Veronika, confused.
"Tell me the truth Veronika," Deepika demanded, "Are you just using Abhay to get a donation for your eggs?"
"Deepika, I'm hurt," Veronika said with a mock offended tone, "How can you accuse me of such a thing?"
"I'm serious Veronika, if you break Abhay's heart or trust in any way I'll–"
"You'll what? You're just his boss right? You don't like to meddle in your employees' personal affairs? Isn't that what you told me, Deepika?"
"Don't throw my words back in my face. We were in the hospital then. I had to maintain decorum. I should have known what you were up to then. I could've warned Abhay earlier, made him understand. Why are you messing with Abhay? You're obviously well off, you can just pay someone to be a donor."
"Of course I can pay someone. But this is very personal to me. You don't know what you're talking about. I'm not dating Abhay so I can make him my donor." Veronika seemed legitimately angry now.
"Oh really? What do you two even have in common?" asked Deepika derisively.
"What do you mean, two human beings can't have a connection? Just because of an age or status difference? And by the way, Abhay and I do have things in common, like how we are both driven to be the best, and the fact that we both felt abandoned by a parent and later reconciled with them."
Veronika continued, "I would love for Abhay to be my donor. He has all the qualities I would want in my baby. But other than that, I actually like him. Regardless of whoever becomes the donor of my baby, I would like to keep seeing him. Yes, I want to be a single mom, but that doesn't mean I don't crave companionship. Abhay is a sweetheart. Just seeing his cute, innocent face makes me forget all the stress from my day. He also has an intensity in his eyes that says he can be passionately romantic too. Whoever he chooses as his life partner will be an incredibly lucky woman. All I know is that I didn't choose him thinking I can pressure him into fulfilling my wish."
Deepika sank back into the cushions, "But this morning… when you mentioned you might have a donor soon, I thought…"
"You thought I was trapping Abhay into becoming it? I admit I'm no saint Deepika, but I'm not so low to play with someone like that, especially with someone so kind-hearted as Abhay. My personal assistant had informed me that he found a possible match, so I got excited."
Deepika hung her head in shame. "I'm sorry Veronika, I jumped to conclusions without thinking."
"You know, I ought to be mad, but it's actually kind of sweet you care for Abhay so much. I'm glad he has a friend like you."
Deepika sniffled, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. She had misjudged Veronika so badly, and she had made a fool of herself in front of Abhay. What he must think of her now.
"I think I've messed things up enough for tonight. I should go," said Deepika.
"I'll call you a cab," Veronika said.
Her ride arrived soon, and Deepika bid Veronika goodbye.
"Here is my number," said Veronika, "Please message me when you get home safely, otherwise Abhay will scold me for not looking after you."
"I will. Thanks Veronika."
Deepika got in the cab, feeling exhausted. She felt like a wreck. She got home, messaged Veronika as promised, then fell dead asleep without changing.
She had a terrible dream. Abhay was leaving FMS, leaving her forever. She opened her mouth to stop him, but no sound came out. It was like her voice was stuck in her throat. Meanwhile, Abhay was walking further and further away, and though she attempted to run after him, the hallways seemed to stretch out into infinity. No matter how fast she ran, she never got any closer to him, and soon he disappeared out of her sight.
Deepika woke up to the sound of her alarm, drenched in sweat. She groaned, her head pounding from a hangover. Thankfully, she was off today. She didn't think she could handle going into the hospital after what transpired last night.
She mixed a hangover remedy, did some chores, read a book, and was feeling better by evening.
She was about to go prepare dinner when her doorbell rang. Strange, she wasn't expecting anyone.
She opened the door to see her visitor. "Veronika, what a surprise. Come in."
Deepika ushered Veronika into the living room.
"Can I get you anything? Tea? Coffee?"
"No thank you. I apologize for dropping in unannounced. I tried to call you but I couldn't reach your phone."
"Oh!" Deepika checked her phone which was lying on the coffee table, "I forgot to charge it." She plugged it in. "Was there something important you needed to talk about?"
"I came to tell you that Abhay and I broke up."
Deepika was stunned. "But why? Is this because of last night? I'm really sorry about that. I was not in my senses. It wasn't Abhay's fault at all."
"I didn't accuse you of anything last night, and I'm not accusing you now. But after the party ended, Abhay and I talked. He told me everything that transpired in the past between you two, and your past with your ex."
Deepika looked away, abashed. "That's all history now. The ex is gone for good, and Abhay's feelings for me were just a crush."
"Are you sure about that? From how Abhay was talking about it, I don't think it was a mere crush."
Deepika fidgeted. No, she wasn't sure. She wasn't sure of anything at this point. But she didn't need to tell Veronika that.
"It doesn't matter. At any rate, I am not interested in having any relationship. I want to focus on my career."
"Deepika. I know what you must have gone through when your ex broke your heart, and that too twice. I'm divorced. My husband couldn't stand the fact that his wife was more successful than him. He cheated on me. But the truth was his male ego was already in the way of our relationship and I was too blind to see it. You at least recognized it in time."
Veronika reached over and laid a hand on Deepika's hand in solidarity. "It can be difficult to trust again, I know. Very few people meet their soulmate in their lifetime. I don't know if you and I have a soulmate, but if I had a best friend as caring and handsome as Abhay, I'd fall in love with him for sure. Who can make a better partner than the person who knows you best?"
"Look me in the eyes and tell me the truth," Veronika said seriously, "Can you honestly say you haven't developed any feelings like that for Abhay in all this time?"
A stray tear fell from Deepika's eyes to her cheek. She wiped it away. "How do I know if it's real? I haven't had the best track record when it comes to judging true love."
"Love doesn't come with a guarantee. But that doesn't mean we have to be afraid of it."
"The journey from liking to love can be a long one or a short one. It can be a straight, clear path or full of twists and turns and various obstacles. Some people get the realization suddenly, and for others it's a slow process. Some start on this road intentionally, while others stumble upon it.
But that restless period in between, when your heart beats faster and you don't know why, when there are butterflies in your stomach and you begin to feel nervous in front of that person, when the thought of them not being around becomes unbearable, that's really something else isn't it? Saare raaste apne sochein hue manzil pe nahin paunchte, isiliye maine safar se mazaa lena seekhli (not every path reaches its intended destination, that's why I've learned to enjoy the journey). But looking at you, I feel that your train has reached the station long ago, and you refuse to get off. As long as you're in denial of your feelings, you'll be stranded here, in the in between. Neither will you be able to go forward, nor back."
"I broke up with Abhay because that night I saw something in both your eyes. I knew what you two felt. And it's ok. Veronika Oberoi isn't used to being second place. Neither I nor Abhay deserve that."
"Was Abhay upset?" asked Deepika.
"A little. It's only natural. But he knew it was necessary as well. If not today, then some other day we would have parted, and the longer we dragged it out the more it would have hurt."
"What do I do now?" Deepika sighed.
"Whatever your heart tells you," replied Veronika, "I didn't come here to tell you what to do. I just wanted to give my opinion and advice, as a friend, of both you and Abhay. I want to see the two of you happy."
Veronika got up. "I'll get going now, thanks for inviting me inside your home"
"Veronika…" Deepika suddenly hugged her. A surprised Veronika hugged her back.
"Thank you," said Deepika, "for being a friend."
"Any time."
Deepika bid Veronika goodbye. She pondered over their conversation then finally made up her mind. She needed to talk to Abhay.
*The next morning*
Abhay was gathering his clothes to take to the laundry before work. He supposed he should get his jacket dry-cleaned as well. As he removed the jacket from the hanger, something fell out of the pocket. He had forgotten to take out Deepika's gift.
Abhay removed the wrapping to reveal a lovely rectangular velvet case. Inside that was a beautiful, expensive-looking pen. To his surprise, it was engraved "Dr. Abhay Sathe" in an elegant script. He had been sure the gift had been something purchased last minute or something Deepika had lying around the house. But this gift required forethought. When had Deepika ordered this?
His watch beeping reminded him that he needed to get going. He was feeling kind of exhausted as he and Veronika had talked late into the night. He didn't have the mental space to reflect on his breakup now. He had patients to focus on.
The emergency ward was busy today so Deepika didn't get a chance to approach Abhay until half the day was over.
"Hey, Abhay."
"Yes, Dr. Sinha?" Abhay barely looked up from where he was shuffling in the medical supplies rack.
"I was wondering… If you're free, will you come to dinner at my place tonight?"
This caused Abhay to pause in his activity. "What's the occasion?"
"No occasion, I just wanted to spend some time with you."
He looked at her skeptically. "You wanted to spend time with me?" he scoffed. "So we could've gotten some coffee, what is the need to invite me home?" He crossed his arms, "Tell me the truth, Deepika, what's the matter?"
"Ok, the truth is I really need to talk to you. To do that I need complete privacy, otherwise I won't be able to say it. And it's really, really important that I say it."
Abhay must have heard the slight desperation in her voice, because his expression became alarmed. "Hey, hey," he said softly, "It's okay. I'll come." He lightly touched her arm in reassurance.
Later that evening, Deepika fiddled with her earring as she waited nervously at her flat. She smoothed the creases in her sari. Outside the door, Abhay was nervously fidgeting as well. He ran his fingers through his hair, fixing stray strands. He didn't know why, but he got the feeling that something big was going to happen tonight. He finally rang the doorbell.
Deepika opened the door. Abhay sucked in a breath. She was so beautiful. He had always thought so, from the first moment he had seen her, standing by that broken down car he had mistaken as hers. Even when he had distrusted and despised her, she had always been beautiful to him. And now he knew it wasn't just her face, it was the beauty of her heart that had called to him.
"Come in," Deepika said.
Dinner was an awkward affair. Deepika and Abhay ate quietly. The conversation was stilted, both being aware that they were simply passing the time until it was time for the main topic of discussion. What that was, Abhay had no idea, and the way Deepika was looking at him was making him tense. Her expression was like she was afraid something precious of hers was going to be lost forever.
After dinner, Deepika took Abhay up to the terrace of the building. They had always been able to be open and vulnerable with each on a terrace for some reason, and what she was going to do today required the utmost vulnerability.
She stared out in the city, gripping the balcony top. Abhay stood next to her, waiting for her to speak.
"I met with Veronika yesterday. She told me what happened with you two."
Abhay stiffened. "Is this why you called me? A pity dinner because my girlfriend dumped me? Wow, just when I thought I couldn't feel any lower." He laughed sardonically, "Thanks Deepika. Dinner was delicious. You've done your duty of concern. I'm fine, as you can see, I'll get going now."
He turned to leave.
"No, no! Abhay, wait, please. That's not what I meant at all. When Veronika and I were talking she helped me realize something. Something I've been hiding from myself, and from you, because I didn't know how you would react. And now it's become too much to keep concealed."
"Ok, I'm waiting. Tell me," Abhay said patiently.
I don't want to be stuck on the platform," she blurted.
"Deepika, I'll be honest, I'm not following this at all."
Deepika mustered up her courage. It was now or never.
"Abhay, I love you." Her voice cracked. "I don't know how or when, but I've fallen for you. I liked you, but I never let myself feel any more for you than that. I was your senior and you were with Sia. I couldn't cross that boundary. Then Vikrant came and everything got messed up and confused. On top of it you confessed that you loved me. I thought, you were just young, immature, you developed a crush and confused it for love. But when I needed a friend, you were the one there for me. You evolved, while I became childish in my grief. I didn't appreciate you. When Veronika entered your life, I realized how important our bond is to me. What I feel for you isn't just friendship. It's a kinship beyond what I've felt with anyone else. I never felt a need to define our relationship, because you were always going to be there no matter what. I took that for granted, and only when I felt I was losing you did I gain clarity on my feelings. I'm in love with you.
And maybe it's too late, but–"
Abhay cut her off, suddenly enveloping her in a hug. She buried her face in his chest. "It's never too late," he murmured. "I love you too, Deepika. I never stopped. I didn't think you'd ever say those words back. I just wanted you to be happy, and I… I was living to be near you, in any way. I didn't want to lose you."
"I don't want to lose you either Abhay, never. I want you with me, always."
He drew back, looking down at her. "Will you say it again?" he asked.
"I love you," Deepika whispered, "I love you, I love you, I love you," her volume increasing with each declaration.
Abhay leaned in, Deepika closed her eyes, nearly trembling with the first touch of his lips to hers. It was a chaste, sweet kiss, but it held so much promise.
They smiled at each other.
"There will be obstacles. I can't be your boss and be in a relationship with you. I'll put in a request to transfer you back to Cardio. I know that's your dream anyway. Keeping you with me in the ER was my own desire," said Deepika.
"I will miss it," Abhay said, "But I suppose I'll deal with the pain somehow," he said, sighing dramatically.
"Oh, so now the ER is your one true love?" Deepika joked.
"No, it's your one true love, but I'm happy to share a little space in your heart."
"Abhay…"
"Shhh. I know," he said, lacing his hand in hers. Abhay knew how important Deepika's dreams were to her, just as his dreams of being the best cardiothoracic surgeon were to him. He would never stand in the way of her ambition, because the Deepika who fought so fiercely for her dreams was the Deepika who had inspired him and who he had fallen in love with.
Abhay remembered something.
"Deepika, your gift, that pen… when did you get that?"
"A couple months ago," she replied.
"Really? Why? And why did you wait so long to give it to me?"
"I wanted to let you know that I do appreciate you and the way you have stood with me. But when things blew up with Vikrant I retreated back into my shell. After that, I barely talked straight with you, the right occasion to give you that gift never came up until now."
Abhay was touched knowing his efforts for Deepika hadn't gone in vain. "Thank you, it's very beautiful."
"It's a very small token in the face of the gift you've given me." Deepika smiled teasingly, "And I can't wait to show off my 'gift' in front of the whole hospital."
Abhay blushed, he couldn't believe Deepika wanted to flaunt him and their relationship.
She suddenly laughed.
"What is it?"
"I was thinking, when Sheriyar finds out, he's going to absolutely flip."
Abhay groaned, "Did you have to mention that rotten man? Ruined my mood."
"Sorry," Deepika couldn't stop giggling.
Abhay grinned slyly, "I know how you can make it up to me," he said with a wink.
"Yeah?" Deepika murmured, putting her arms around his neck.
"Yeah," Abhay said, wrapping his arms around her waist.
This time, Deepika leaned in first, and the kiss was not quite as chaste as the first.
In Mumbai, it was difficult to see the stars, but tonight, Abhay and Deepika saw the whole night sky in each others' eyes.