inspo: is ur bedroom ceiling bored - cavetown
a rambling, shallow, hyperdetailed little project- i haven't written fanfiction with real intent since i was thirteen, and it may not be any better now
–
she looks up at her ceiling, glow-in-the-dark moons stars framing chipped white paint and water damage. the room has changed since she was young, and while some may call it dilapidated, she calls it loved.
she lets her thoughts wander, running circles inside her mind as her fingers twitch towards her phone (traitorous, tortured hands).
i miss his voice, she thinks, but she knows she shouldn't.
her hands flex, once, twice. inadvisably, she picks it up, clicks the empty text conversation that once held so much.
is your bedroom ceiling bored? she types.
she deletes the message.
— — —
he stares out his window. the sun is rising, the sky is clear, and the world is starting over.
a turn of his head, and he's facing himself in the mirror. his hair is a mess. he looks like he hasn't slept in weeks, which is maybe true.
he looks dejected and heartbroken and lonely, and maybe he is, but he'd never admit it.
his phone screen lights up and he snatches it up.
hermione_granger79 posted for the first time in a while greets him and he's never clicked a notification so fast.
it's from yesterday and his stomach drops when he sees her standing, smiling, next to a tall man with red hair. the caption is a heart. a red one.
and draco knows, rationally, that he shouldn't care, that he doesn't deserve to. not after everything. but he feels sick anyway, shaken to his core by a man who could just be a cousin.
(a light amount of stalking reveals that it is)
(not that he'd ever admit to doing that)
and he scrubs his hands up and down his face, he's picking up his phone and his fingers are pressing the letters and what is he doing if he's honest because oh look, here's a word and a phrase and a sentence and all of a sudden the message bar reads
draco [6:37 a.m.] : if you're moving on, what's your secret? because i don't know where to start
before he really knows what he's doing, he hits send.
— — —
hermione's just about to close the DM when she sees he's typing too. her heart begins to race and she's not sure if she wants to throw her phone across the room or stare at it, see if he says something, see if maybe
she shelves that thought quick as she can, pushing it to the back of her mind. their conclusion was met months ago.
hermione reminds herself of this as aggressively as she can. yet when the gray bubble pops up, with words too intriguing to ignore, she can't help but forget. the comforter grows warm beneath her when she doesn't move for one, two, five minutes and the sunlight fades as the glare travels beyond her windowsill.
should she respond? her fingers shake as she scans the message again and again.
and suddenly, her fingers are moving too, the artificial clicking of an iPhone keyboard spelling out bad idea in messy Morse code.
the message, on the other hand, spells out
well, i stay up late and i talk to the moon
and now the DM contains two messages, one in gray and one in bright, guilty blue.
draco (do NOT text) [6:37 a.m.] : if you're moving on, what's your secret? because i don't know where to start
granger [6:50 a.m.] : well, i stay up late and i talk to the moon
curse that beautiful (horrible) boy, because he's TEXTING BACK, and my god, hermione thinks, he hasn't even the decency to pretend he wasn't watching for a response. she sights. he hasn't the balls to wait ten minutes just to seem like he's not starving to talk to me just like i am and the bubble keeps moving and moving.
it hasn't even been five minutes but it feels like it's been hours when a second gray message pops up.
all it says is
draco (do NOT text) [6:53 a.m.] : oh?
hermione laughs. she snorts, and she is ashamed of herself.
this boy, the one she has loved and lost, has far too much control over her.
and perhaps this is why she chooses her response very carefully.
— — —
draco [6:53 a.m.] : oh?
draco hates himself so, so much in that moment. oh? OH? are you stupid? are you fucking dense? you could have said something intelligent, because this is your girlfriend- he has to stop and remember that he can't call hermione that anymore, and the memory is a fucking gut punch - your ex-girlfriend, and she's smarter than even you
but all of that disappears when he sees her typing again and suddenly nothing else matters.
this girl, the one who knows him much too well, has far too much control over him.
granger ( - malfoy ) [6:54 a.m.] : and i can't stop telling him all about you
his heart stops.
and in that fraction of a second, begins to feel a little less broken.
granger ( - malfoy ) [6:55 a.m.] : wondering if you feel the same things i do
a smile tugs at the corners of his mouth in the way only hermione can inspire as he decides on a response.
it's generally regarded as a bad idea to text your ex, especially one you aren't remotely over, but he can feel in his toes that if he reaches out just far enough he might find her hand waiting to be grasped.
draco ( [6:57 a.m.] : well
draco [6:57 a.m.] : i get up early and talk to the sun
draco [6:59 a.m.] : i ask her for guidance
draco [7:03 a.m.] : but honestly i'm just as lost as you
draco [7:04 a.m.] : hermione
and his heart is racing
— — —
and her heart is pounding
— — —
granger ( - malfoy ) [7:04 a.m.] : draco
granger ( - malfoy ) [6:54 a.m.] : i still love you i should never have
draco [7:05 a.m.] : well i'm nothing without you
typing from her, typing from her, then nothing
draco [7:10 a.m.] : please come back hermione i swear i will love you with everything i am
and all of a sudden he's out of bed, not stopping to put on a shirt or put on proper clothes because he needs to see her, hear her voice, tell her face to face that it was a mistake and he should never have left and he is nothing, nothing without her because she is everything that matters to him and what do you do with things that matter to you?
you chase them.
— — —
[8:57 a.m.] you have [1] new voicemail from [granger] at [7:34 a.m.]
hi draco it's hermione i figured this would be easier to say over voicemail than text so i [pause] well i um, i'm quite sure i still love you, quite a bit actually and it's proving to be quite an issue so if you're willing we can give it another go [a faint whisper of "get it together, hermione" can be heard] anyway yes well i meant what i said about the moon and all that- [a faint, but frenzied knock can be heard] oh someone's at the door it sounds rather urgent i'd best end this here so [the sound of a door opening heard] [a male voice is picked up by the recording, low and near tears, "hermione. hermione."]
it is all she can do to string her arms around him and whisper that she will never, ever walk out on him ever again. because it is this miserable, heartbroken boy whom she loves more than anything.
[8:59 a.m.] you have [0] new voicemails from [hermione granger]
my friend shit on me so much for this while simultaneously acknowledging that it doesn't suck. however, it probably does suck, but i have no shame, so hit me with your best shot in the reviews or pms. again, haven't seriously written fanfic since i was thirteen (my bio is lying) (i'm not even seriously writing it now) and that was a few years ago haha
oh god this is giving me fucking war flashbacks to when i was eleven and illegally on ffn and writing it at 6 in the morning on my mother's desktop to the 12 people that followed my stories in fifth grade ew ew ew
alright well until next time or more likely never (i was straight up not having a good time during the writing of this)
lyric