Chapter 2: Norwegian Wood

After that day, she never saw Haruka on the train again. Not at Uji Station, nor at Demachiyanagi or anywhere in between. Of course, Aoi did not know her schedule. It could have been a case of many missed coincidences. She was on the verge of asking for it when she stopped herself, finger hovering above the send button. Scrolling upwards, the last three messages were from her with no reply. It was both concerning and embarrassing.

Her pinky struggled to keep the half of the book it was holding from flipping back shut. It was not just Aoi's smallest finger that wavered at the ordinarily easy task; she felt strain throughout her wrist tendons. Even at the height of Kitauji's band practice, or at least what little of it she was around for, Aoi had never exerted herself like this. The worst part, it felt like they were going nowhere.

More members had shown up for the Saturday practice, but it was punctuated by a long, two-hour lunch at the campus cafeteria. They were never quite at full strength either. The constant revolving door of members, leaving early, arriving late, or only showing up on certain days, led to the debates being thrown for a loop. It also led to a revolving door of music pieces, going through five different scores in just three sessions. As pliant as she tried to be, Aoi had to admit the changes did eventually piss her off. It had looked as if they would be sticking to the Entry of the Gladiator; The seniors almost missing their dinner booking because of how many run-throughs they did. With no other direction, she went over it both at home and during the long stretches of personal practice they had on Saturday.

Her grip tightened around her latte just thinking about it. A scowl overcame her face, which she did not bother to control. Without warning, they had decided at the end of their weekend practice by trying Whitney Houston's Valerie. She had to begrudgingly admit the pop sound suited the band better, and it was much easier to perform. Inevitably, they decided to switch, throwing Aoi's work off the roof she practised from. The only person with the right idea was Asuka. Staying true to her words, she continued to ignore the band and played the Carnival of Venice outside of ensemble. Aoi was shocked to discover it was apparently a watered-down version of Arban's original arrangement for use in music schools. Everything beyond the first variation would take Aoi a few weeks to get proficient at.

Despite being a literature student, Aoi was running out of descriptors for how Asuka practised, being left with obsessive and psychotic as words strong enough to characterise her fervour. Mirai was the only one who came close to matching it. Unlike Asuka, who kept her opinions shrouded by a bodyguard of lies, the trombonist was refreshingly straightforward. Though it was crushing to hear Mirai's critiques. Despite finishing the ridiculous variations of the Carnival of Venice, she and Asuka concurred that their performance was entirely unsatisfactory. They had managed to get out the notes, but they were coarse and flowed poorly. Not that Aoi could even tell by the end of the whirlwind sections. Their own harsh appraisal implied that her current standards were abysmal, even if it was unintentional. Maybe that was what had separated Rikka from Kitauji. They practised until they never got it wrong.

Aoi lightly pinched herself on the wrist, chastising herself for losing focus. "Get it together," she mumbled to herself. "It's not over just because I'm Kyodai."

Although she was holding a book opening in one hand, her mind continued to wander. Taking another sip of her now tepid beverage, she threw herself back into "The Sound of the Mountain" by Kawabata Yasunari. This was just the first novel she had to complete by next week to stay on top of things. While the university central library was well equipped, she wanted to enjoy the spring weather while it lasted. Too much of the last three years had been spent cooped up in cram schools. There was something about sitting near the Kyodai's red-brick clock tower that put her at ease. A building out of time, its red brick façade unchanged from the Taisho era.

A short burst of laughter erupted from her before she managed to clamp down. Kawabata had written his protagonist's son, Shuichi, as a philanderer. It was a serious, dramatic, almost meditative novel written in prose close to haiku. But the unwitting image of her childhood friend attempting to woo every girl he met shattered that illusion. He was too nice for that, completely and hopelessly in love with Kumiko. The memories of their childhood together as a trio came easily enough. But the most recent images of their short time together in Kitauji were nothing but a haze. Was she getting old?

Her hand moved almost subconsciously, checking the signs of any wrinkles on her face. It was a vain thought she forcefully reigned in. What did matter if she had some blemishes? Testing her factual recall, it was still in excellent condition. Of course it was. It had to be if she hoped to survive university. But her own memories, some of them, were all still a blur.

A voice called out sometime later as they passed by. "Aoi-chan!" It was Kyouko.

"I didn't think I would find you here. You seemed like the type of girl who studies at home or in some secluded corner of the library." It had only been two weeks, but her blond hair had started to fade, losing some of its gold lustre.

Aoi could not say she hated that. Kyouko's natural black roots were beginning to show as her air grew out. It was starting to paint a vague picture of what she had been like only months ago in high school. Though her personality would be no less forceful, Aoi would have liked her more. She had enough flash without her dyed hair and piercings.

"I'm going to dinner with some of the band members. You want to come?" Kyouko step had a bounce to it as she rolled up to the table.

The other literature student also had a book in hand. But to Aoi's surprise, its cover betrayed it to be a manga or light novel. She was either way ahead in her work or did not really care about it to have that kind of spare time. This dinner was undoubtedly only one of many social events she was attending.

"With Anzai-san?"

"Yup, Chiyomi-senpai will be there. But I don't think any of the others coming are sax players."

Aoi only now realised Asuka's latest unconscious influence on her. Not once had she referred to any of their seniors in the band as senpai. They were hardly concerned about it, giving the band a more egalitarian air. Nonetheless, it seemed like something they should say out of common courtesy. Even more so because their seniors were not stuck up about it.

"I'll pass," Aoi said, putting on a polite smile. "I need to finish this anyway." She raised her own book for emphasis in case Kyouko was adamant. Although the chances of her knowing were slim, she asked a follow up question on impulse. "Have you seen Asuka recently?"

"Nope. You two are close, aren't you? I've always seen you guys together."

It was hard to resist the urge to vehemently shake her head. They had both been in the advance class in Kitauji, but that was the extent of it. Could Aoi say she was even close to anyone?

"Not really. It's only been a week and a half since classes started, so I guess it looks like that." Aoi struggled to prevent her smile from shattering. She already felt small cracks forming.

"Why're looking for her then? Something I can do instead?"

"Nah, not really. It's about our mutual friend. She hasn't been very responsive."

"Your friend or Tanaka-chan?" It was hard not to wince at the way Kyouko had referred to Asuka. It could only be described as unnatural.

"Both." Aoi let out a brief chuckle. Her vagueness always had a way of being true regardless of the way it was interpreted. Maybe it was just a literary efficiency she had picked up over the years.

"And only Tanaka can do something about it?"

"They're closer…"

"If you want something done, do it yourself." Kyouko shrugged. "I'm not saying its easy, but why bother if someone else isn't willing to help."

"Well, I'm mostly being ignored."

"Then go directly to them. Why be Juliet when you can be Romeo?"

"That's… an interesting comparison." Their short talk already made Aoi feel exhaustingly exasperated. Summoning her reserve energy, she tried to deflect the conversation elsewhere. "I thought you were more of a Japanese classics kind of person?"

"Tale of Genji is my favourite." Her eyes were practically beaming from just uttering the novel's name. "But I like all the older classics. Makes me feel like I'm in another world because of how different it is. But I guess you don't really relate to that, right? Since you're doing only post-Meiji courses."

"This world is more than enough," Aoi mumbled.

Kyouko said a hasty and energetic goodbye once she checked her watch. As she dashed off towards the main gate, Aoi noticed the sky had been set ablaze by the setting spring sun. It felt like there was supposed to be more time until dusk. At the pace she was reading at, there were not enough hours in the week.

As Nakaseko Kaori might put it now that she was in nursing school, Aoi wanted a second opinion. As she lay on her bed at home, there was an almost insurmountable inertia at texting Kaori out of the blue. All her internal debating on the train home had only yielded one conclusion: it was less awkward than texting Haruka without reply for the fourth time.

Before she sent off her message, Aoi opened Kaori's LINE profile to refresh her memory. It had only been a few months, but she found it difficult to remember the details of her appearance. Kaori and Chiyomi were strikingly similar. How had she missed that for almost two weeks?

Kaori's hair appeared almost light brown in her profile picture, glinting in the sunlight as she threw it back with her right hand. The bracelet she wore was incredibly familiar, made of red beads and a silver chain, though Aoi could not pin down why. It was easy to see how half of the Kitauji band had become enamoured with her. Even their nasty seniors had left her in peace during their second year.

The wait for a reply seemed unbearable, her mind running wild with the possible outcomes. What if she decided to tell Asuka instead? It was unlikely given how Kaori was almost saintly in the way she treated people. But there was no telling how her bond with Asuka could affect or sway her actions. Aoi knew she was getting worked up over something she now had no control over. Yet there was no dispelling her unease, even as she reminded herself that there were basically no stakes. At worse, there would be no response and a little teasing from Asuka at her desperation.

Thirty minutes. One hour. Two hours. There was still no reply as Aoi tried to distract herself with her work. She could see why the novels set by her professor were so acclaimed, but their literary brilliance could not draw her mind away from borderline rumination. What was happening was irrational, and worse, without a source Aoi could easily identify. Not in the mood to do any emotional excavation, she decided to simply sleep it off.

Even with such tumultuous thoughts and feelings, it was easy to drift off. Aoi was always perpetually exhausted. If there was any time to have an early night, it might as well be today.

"Go check on her."

That was the most striking part of her brief messages. Even without hearing her voice, Kaori's confidence was apparent. Aoi had still expected more of an explanation, but she was no doubt busy with university as well. All Kaori wrote was that Haruka got like this from time to time. The one practical piece of information she had received was that their former president would definitely be home. Beyond schoolwork, Haruka was likely immobilised. It made Aoi feel even worse as she went through the day's classes.

An overcast sky accompanied Aoi as she took an afternoon walk along the small Yamashina River. It had been some time since she had alighted at Rokujizo station. It still felt familiar enough, but the distance seemed to be growing as the time from graduation lengthened. In her hand was a Murakami book. She intended to read it on the train and on her walk towards Haruka's house. But she was never able to achieve what her mind set out to do. Reality always bit back.

The odd familiarity of what she was doing helped to dampen the anxious mood. Though no one looking at Aoi would have realised anything was out of the ordinary. Despite the almost bold choice she was making, there was only a mild, weary expression. It was easy to blame it on the weather.

Haruka's house was a similar size to her own, though they could not look more different. Aoi had moved from the manshon complex Kumiko and Shuichi also stayed after her first year in junior high. Her home since then was a modernised machiya nearby. On the other hand, Haruka's house had a contemporary western exterior. It seemed to suit the image of her that Aoi remembered.

The only time she had ever visited Haruka was in their first year with Asuka and Kaori. Recalling that gave her some confidence as she walked through the small front garden to the door. The last time they had met in a situation like this, it had been Haruka who insisted on speaking, going all the way to the area around Uji Bridge to meet her. Was this just repaying the favour?

There was the light fluttering of footsteps almost immediately after she rang the doorbell. The door energetically swung open as if she had been expected.

"Thank you—" Haruka stopped mid-sentence, recoiling, and letting out a squeak.

"Hi," Aoi said, putting on the gentlest smile she could. The girl in front of her, in a pastel blue hoodie and loose sweatpants, immediately retreated, covering most of her frame behind the door.

"Aoi—what are you doing?" She was absolutely flustered by her appearance.

"You were expecting someone else." Aoi had to resist the urge to advance or retreat. Either might have unintended results.

"Yes-yes," Haruka was still only peaking out behind her half-closed front door.

"Can I come in?" Based on how she had answered the door, Aoi concluded she was waiting for a delivery. She could only wish the enthusiasm was directed toward her.

"Are you sure?"

Aoi could not help but chuckle at that. "Why wouldn't I be? I came here to see you."

"I look terrible. And-and I've got nothing to offer—maybe there's some oolong tea in the fridge but—"

"Why would what you look like and what food you have matter to me?" It was only after Haruka's reply that Aoi noticed the slight redness of her face. She had been crying again.

There was a furtive glance by Haruka back towards the stairwell. "… alright."

As they climbed towards her room, the gentle pattering of Haruka's footsteps had changed to stomps. As if she were now dragging herself back up to her room. It had not changed much in the intervening three years. The wallpaper was an almost whimsical but minimalist dull silver pattern that paired nicely with the myriad of pastel colours across various items in the room.

"I'm sorry about the mess," Haruka quietly mumbled as she straightened out her blanket.

It was not a mess by any stretch of the imagination. Aoi liked to keep her room tidy as well, but this was pristine. Her bags were all neatly hung up on wooden pegs. The carpet beneath her feet was a pure snow white. Even the potted plants had not a single dead leaf or speck of dirt on them. They were neatly trimmed and carefully nurtured on the windowsill by her bed.

Haruka moved over toward her desk, the only mildly chaotic part of her room. "If you want to wash your feet, the bathroom is through that door."

If Aoi still lived in a manshon unit, she would have thought Haruka was just another rich girl, living in a landed house with a large room and ensuite bathroom. But she would be a hypocrite to believe that now. Even though it lacked an attached bath, her own room was still done up with special tatami mats for use with modern furniture. They both looked like rich girls to any observers.

Aoi was more curious about what Haruka seemed to be in a hurry to pack up. With the paper and books on her desk already whisked away, she took a closer look at her computer.

There was a resounding thump causing Aoi to flinch. Haruka's cheeks were slightly puffed out, her brows furled. Despite her perturbed expression, she was thoroughly unintimidating. Aoi was more concerned about Haruka's laptop. It had received some nasty treatment when it was slammed shut.

"How much did you see?" Haruka huffed.

It was possible to pretend she had not caught anything, but that would have been counterproductive. "You're looking up secondhand saxophones?"

"Baritone saxes are expensive… but it's just window shopping."

Aoi toyed with the idea of being more direct but discarded it. She was not here to make her uncomfortable. Haruka could not hide what was happening for long if Aoi's guess was right anyway.

"I saw you were also listening to some sax pieces too. You thinking about getting into some jazz?"

Haruka sauntered towards her bed, dropping herself onto its edge. Aoi contemplated sitting on her desk chair, but it would be too distant. Lowering her bag gently, she sat down in place at the foot of her bedside. The soft fur-like texture of the rug felt soothing as she wiggled it between her toes. Looking up, she saw something of a wince on Haruka's face. Maybe she had asked her to wash her feet for her own benefit.

"What's so funny?" Haruka said, returning to a mild pout.

"Nothing. So what music were you listening to?"

"John Coltrane, Giant Steps," Haruka mumbled.

"Isn't that for a tenor?" She knew only a little bit about jazz despite her eight on and off years with the saxophone. But Giant Steps was famous.

"Yeah… I mean, there's no way I can play it with how bad I am."

"Didn't you play a solo last year at Kyoto Station? You could always change to a tenor or alto. The fingering is all the same anyway."

"You make it sound so easy," Haruka's grip began to slightly crumple her previously immaculate blanket.

"Giant Steps way beyond both of us," Aoi conceded. "But you're good. Especially since you had to practice Takarajima and the competition pieces."

"You were there?"

"Of course, why would I go to nationals but not something in Kyoto?"

Haruka's eyes widen. "Why didn't you tell me—us?"

Aoi shrugged as she twirled her braids. "I didn't want to disturb you guys."

"You told me you never really liked the concert band." Haruka had a faint glow around her, sitting with her back against the window. The dull overcast day made it a sombre silver lining instead of a more desirable brilliant amber.

"I guess I did," Aoi tried to give her another soft smile, but she could tell her own melancholy was seeping through. Haruka's negativity was sometimes contagious.

"Maybe I'm lucky you can't lie the way Asuka does."

"You knew all along that I didn't really mean it… but you let me pressure you over dinner like that," Aoi said, thinking back to their meeting at the family restaurant right after she quit.

"You were asking a real question."

"It was kind of terrible, asking the president of a band if they even liked it."

Haruka twitched at that statement. "I still don't know if I do."

"Really? You're feeling down now because you can't join one."

"That's not really true."

"Isn't it? You bought a baritone sax. It's not the most versatile for playing solo."

"I never said I bought one." The fluster in Haruka had returned. She was a terrible liar too, unable to even commit to one.

"What else would you be so eagerly awaiting today?"

"Aoi, sometimes I wish you weren't so smart." She sighed.

Aoi wished she were as smart as others thought she was.

"I saw an opportunity to play with you again. And I suddenly lost it." Haruka continued.

"Not Asuka?" It was now Aoi's turn to furl her brows, this time in confusion. Was Haruka actually a better liar than she thought?

There was a short pause before Haruka slowly shook her head.

"But you're so close to her." At least closer than the two of them ever were.

"We're just friends because we were the presidents. Kaori and Asuka are the one's that are close. I don't know how to really describe their relationship." Haruka took the confused look she was receiving as a cue for an example. "It's sort of like the one Oumae-san and Kosaka-san have."

That only made Aoi more confused. And even more guilty since she realised she knew so little about Kumiko. She bit the bottom of her lip, trying to restrain her nostalgia, both real and imagined.

"I just thought… in third year after being in the band executive committee together…" Aoi had to imagine and assume so many things about the band remained constant or evolved logically after she quit. Even when she was right, it left a bitter and empty feeling. She had fallen for the same trap as Kyouko had. Asuka was able to create the illusion of connection yet kept a gulf of mystery between her and anyone she met.

"You keep talking about the past." Haruka now had a smile but a weary one. "This is all actually kind of familiar. Kaori was sitting exactly where you were after that day."

"She came to see you after I quit?" It was the only day she could have been referring to.

"Yeah, I couldn't go to school. The thought of going to band afterwards was…" Haruka's lower lip was curled up, accentuating her almost mouse-like features. She averted her gaze towards the ceiling. Haruka's eyes looked as if they could wilt at any moment and shed all their lovely petals as tears.

"I'm sorry," Aoi finally coughed up. "I didn't know." How could it have been almost a year before she found out about any of this?

"You made the right choice, though. Look at you; you're at Kyodai. It's what you've always wanted, right? I'm just in Doshisha."

"If things were different, I would have gone there. Doshisha's in the top twenty-five this year. It's never outside of the top forty."

"Kyodai is always in the top three for the whole of Japan." Haruka was as self-deprecating as ever.

Aoi's mind briefly flashed to the seemingly all-important ranking table. Tohoku had dropped to fourth place this year. Is that why Asuka had suddenly decided to go to Kyodai? That thought felt crushing. She had struggled so hard while Asuka had her pick of top universities to go to on a whim. Haruka's attempt at validation did not help things. It was wrong to accept something that came at her expense.

"It was still selfish," Aoi replied. "I thought it wouldn't affect you that much. I thought you would have Asuka and Kaori."

"It hurt a lot because I hated that I was being selfish too. Trying to make you stay… after everything that happened. But I could never imagine a band without you."

"I'm not that big of a presence. All I did was what I thought was right when the first-years wanted to quit."

"I don't think the band or the sax section would agree. But I don't know for sure." Haruka scrunched up her blanket in both her hands, toes curling up before she continued. "I know that you were a big presence for me."

"But, we were never…?" Aoi regretted opening her mouth without thoroughly processing Haruka's declaration.

"Aoi, how can you memorise enough novel quotes to be in Kyodai but not remember high school?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you remember our first year?"

Even with the sakura trees in full bloom, it did little to make the dull campus of Kitauji High School more appealing. Aoi hated everything about it, from its old, undermaintained buildings from the 1980s to the grounds' uninspired designs. The school was a year away from its thirtieth anniversary when she first walked through its gates. It had none of the history or charm of an older school like Rikka. Nor did it have the lustre of a new, prestigious, privately built campus like Horiyama. It was thoroughly middling, in its appearance, in its student body, in its academic performance.

But it was not as if she had a choice. The brown sailor fuku and green scarf she wore was a constant reminder of that. She hated the uniform too. It was a juvenile, dirt coloured piece of clothing that no one beyond the age of junior high schooler should wear anymore. The world of Showa era Japan where it was an icon was long gone. The blazers and plaid skirts of most other high schools were not just more fashionable but were a better match for the modern world.

Sitting in the advance class of a mediocre high school was its own special kind of hell. An emblem of how she was one of the best at being average. Not good enough to make it to the last class in a better school, but also offering a glimmer of hope that made leisurely coasting by unbearable. The most embarrassing part was that she was placed perfectly. Aoi found the preparatory classes challenging. It destroyed what little remained of her ego. She was not better than Kitauji. She deserved to be here.

The band seemed like the last place of refuge for her. It was surprising that an undistinguished school would have a band this large. They were also well equipped, having two contrabasses when most bands from public schools could barely muster enough instruments for a basic ensemble. There was a flutter of hope in Aoi's heart as she saw the past glory of Kitauji's many consecutive years at nationals hanging from the music room walls. But as she approached the present, it came crashing down. The last time they had reached Kansai was seven years ago and the last dud gold at Kyoto a year after. From there, it was a mix of the lesser metals at each competition.

The last, vain hope of Aoi being one of the band's star members with her years of experience on the saxophone was shattered when she met Asuka Tanaka. At first, Aoi had only seen her from a distance in class. Tall, beautiful, intelligent, the complete opposite of what she was. They would have nothing in common, her personality bold, bordering on eccentric at times if Aoi was being uncharitable. Of course, someone like that would also be incredibly talented. She outshone every other first year in the bass section, and all her seniors. Not that any of it mattered with the band's hierarchical culture. Even the most inept seniors had priority to play in the competition, securing and fortifying the band's mediocrity.

Perfection seemed to attract perfection, and soon Asuka was inseparable from Kaori. Or perhaps, it was Kaori who was inseparable from her. Overshadowed by two more beautiful and talented musicians, Aoi could not even have the solace of being a big fish in a small pond.

She was prepared to resign herself to hating everything about her new life for the next three years. Just two months into the first term, she had already contemplated quitting the band. If she studied fanatically, she would not have to endure this disappointing mediocrity again. Then she got to know the rest of the saxophones.

They were stacked with altos, like it usually was. Okamoto Raimu sat at the far end of their section. She was a nice enough girl, but Aoi found her insufferably vain at times. Always in makeup and folding the waistband of her skirt to shorten it whenever Michi-sensei was absent. She had talked about her big dreams of going to Tokyo for university and finding a charming boyfriend in Aoyama. Inane elements aside, Aoi respected not just Raimu's ability to dream big, but that she was bold enough to announce it to everyone.

A gossipmonger if Aoi had ever known one, Hashi Hiroe was sandwiched between the two first-year altos. She was constantly on the lookout for the next juicy detail and quickly became an information nexus among the first years. Even then, Aoi still liked her as well. Her quest for the latest news was never born out of malice, just an unbridled and occasionally inappropriate curiosity. Whether it was her uncanny 'investigative' abilities or her own gossip becoming a self-fulling prophecy, Hiroe was the first to have anticipated Mei and Hideri becoming a couple.

Ironically, Aoi knew the least about the alto saxophonist sitting right next to her. It was not that Miya Kiriko was an enigma or mysterious; she was just meek. In their first two months, they only had one brief interaction. "Does the school have a kamidana? I want to make an offering." Aoi gave a polite reply, but internally she wondered how superstitious she was. Did anyone in their generation even use these kinds of shrines anymore?

Then there was Haruka, equally meek but much bubblier. Though the bubbles always came at the risk of popping, releasing a tide of tears and negativity. Even though she was slightly taller than Aoi, there was something cute and almost comical about her playing an instrument nearing her size.

"Saito-chan, are you free after school tomorrow?" Haruka asked as they packed away their instruments. It had been another day of middling practice.

"I have cram school."

"Already? We just started high school."

"I like to be prepared." Aoi struggled to get the saxophone on to the top shelf. The seniors were always inconsiderate even though they left early. The only spots left in the disorganised instrument room were the hardest ones to reach.

"Let me help," Haruka squished into Aoi, rising to the tip of her toes. The slight boost in height was just enough to push the case squarely against the wall.

"I'm not sure why we bother to neaten this place up every week," Aoi sighed. "It's going to be messed up again in a few days after the next practice."

"It's for everyone else, right?" Haruka's cheeked were raised high in a smile. "I'm sure the other first years appreciate it."

"I hope," Aoi mumbled. "If the seniors actually appreciated it, they would follow the organisation system they made."

"If you aren't free tomorrow, how about some time next week?"

"What for?"

"Let's practice together."

Aoi raised her eyebrows. "Are you sure? I mean, SunFest is already over, so I'm not sure what there is to do. We haven't even chosen the pieces we're going to play at the Kyoto competition."

"We could do some basic practice," Haruka began to shrink backwards.

Aoi folded her arms, unconvinced that it was a productive use of her time.

"Does it matter what we do?" Haruka finally coughed up. "Playing together is the point, right?"

There was a long pause as Aoi mulled over her words. Not to develop a rebuttal but in an effort to absorb what she had said. Maybe the only thing she did not hate about Kitauji were the people there. After all, none of her suffering was their fault.

Haruka began to nervously shuffle around, finally prompting her to respond. "Sorry, I was just thinking about what you said. You really do care about everyone, don't you?"

"Don't you?" There was only time for Aoi to nod before she continued. "You've been helping to pack up all the rooms after each practice."

"What do you want to play then? The basic exercises are getting kind of boring."

"How about an easy melody? Or a duet?" The flush on Haruka's cheeks betrayed her nervousness.

"You want me to ask the others? It's a long shot, but I think Maya-chan may show up."

"If you want to," Haruka mumbled.

It was hard to interpret her new reluctance at her own request. Haruka was ordinarily shy, content to blend in, contributing in small ways unless absolutely necessary. Yet, she had asked to do extra practice together. The light filtering through the window behind them gave her a red-dyed glow. It only seemed to highlight her bashfulness as she continued to microscopically shrink back, slowly melding with her shadow against the door.

"Why do you want to play with just me?"

She gave a bashful shrug, trying to put on a smile to hide her embarrassment. "I can't play with the altos. We sound too different."

"I guess they would," Aoi was not entirely convinced, deciding to keep her options open. "Let's wait until the practice schedule is out for the competition. We may have more important things to do."

There was a curt nod from Haruka, bowing out before Aoi could say anything more. Had she done something wrong?

Just like that, all the memories came rushing back. There was still a tinge of melancholy, a haze surrounding them. But there was an emotion boiling to the surface, like water from a geyser. Aoi had only two other instances in her life to compare this to, where she stood up in front of two different crowds of people. Now it was just an audience of one. Yet the imperative had never felt greater.

The emotions coming to the fore now were utterly different. In her second year of high school, it was a desperate plea. In her third, it was a frustrated defiance. They had felt like turbulent, murky waters within her, bursting forth in a tide of anguish. What was welling up now was clearer than the first snowmelts of spring.

Aoi leapt to her feet.

"Where are you going!?" Haruka nearly fell onto her bed in shock. She seemed to have sunk into a daze as well while Aoi reminisced about the start of high school.

"Your sax is coming soon, right?" Aoi rummaged through her bag, taking only what was essential to get to her house.

Haruka made a quick glance at her clock. "The delivery slot closes in thirty minutes."

"Let's hope this isn't the rare day deliveries are late." Aoi inhaled again sharply as she turned to the door. "I assume you bought the oil, grease, neck strap and a cleaning kit?"

"Yeah, of course, I did… Wait! Stay! Please." Haruka stumbled to her feet as well, almost kicking over Aoi's bag.

"I've got to hurry,"

"Your bag! Your book—umm—Norwegian Wood." Haruka doing everything she could to catch Aoi's attention and ensnare her longer.

Aoi froze for just a second, dragging herself back to the moment. She always got like this whenever she became emotionally overwhelmed, for better or for worse. "Keep it safe for me. I'll be back soon."

"What? Where are you going?"

"I'm going to get my sax."

"It's almost five. We have school in the morning."

"Are your parents in tonight? Their probably on business trips, right?"

Haruka shook her head, growing more confounded each moment that passed without a full explanation.

"Good, we can be as loud as we want. Get your Bari ready."

"Huh? What are we going to play?"

Aoi's eyes were drawn to the faded red colour of her novel lying on the floor. A first edition she had snagged from a second-hand store after the library had run out of copies. "I have an idea."

She was off, almost leaping down the stairs as she showed herself out. The endless walk into Haruka's neighbourhood from Rokujizo seemed to breeze by in reverse. When in a rush, the world seems to conspire against the person to create endless delays. But today, everything lined up for Aoi.

The train arrived just on time, only sparsely occupied by passengers, allowing Aoi to make her way towards the train's front and cut the walk to the exit at Uji Station in half. As she passed the statue of Lady Murasaki by the Uji Bridge, Aoi broke out into a run. She still had to find the sheet music.

She could see her old manshon complex in the distance, but she turned right at the junction, going up the road towards the Agata shrine. The niwaki black pine sticking out above her garden's wall greeted Aoi as she reached a side road. She chuckled to herself as she pushed open the wooden gates of her house. Narai Tanabe, or as Aoi liked to call him, Knuckles, would certainly describe what she was about to do as a smash and grab. She had not thought about many of her bandmates in a long time, but with all the memories flooding it, it was the only descriptor that came to mind. Even waiting for her printer was too long. With just her tablet and saxophone case, she was out the door again. The only brief stop was for a note to tell her parents she would be back late. Insurance for the off chance they would actually notice her absence.

A quick search through her tablet as she rode the train was enough to find what she was looking for. The rain began to pick up as she made her return. It was light and sharp, pricking her skin as she went. A few hours ago, it would have driven her completely sullen, but now her mood was unwavering.

Haruka was waiting for her at the front door, holding two umbrellas. "I guess you don't need this!" She called out from a distance.

Aoi's pink umbrella gently bopped up and down as she rapidly covered the last stretch of pavement. "How did you know it was me?"

"Your umbrella, the colour matches you."

Shaking her umbrella dry as she removed her shoes, Aoi inspected it, having never given it much thought. It was getting old and worn out, another relic from her early high school days she still had. Haruka probably liked it because it was close to a pastel colour.

"Really?" Aoi said, convinced it was just a passing compliment.

"That light magenta, it's the colour of hollyhocks. It couldn't be more perfect."

It was something she would never have thought of, but it felt delightful to have someone think about her name in that way. "I never knew you were interested in that kind of thing."

"It's mostly little bits I pick up from Kaori," Haruka said as they quickly ascended to her room.

The only time she had considered the meaning of names was when she was analysing novels. Aoi wondered if that meant she had come as a topic of discussion between Kaori and Haruka. It was vain to think that she was that important, but it felt nice to believe it was true.

It had only been slightly over an hour since she had left, but Haruka had her baritone sax nicely unpacked and perched on a stand in the corner of her room. Like most secondhand items in Japan, it was still in extraordinary condition. The box it had come in was already neatly collapsed in the corner of Haruka's room, the cleaning kit lying open beside it.

"I gave it a quick swab. The pads are great too." Haruka's excitement was evident. She had even brought up a jug of oolong tea and two cups to her room.

"Yeah, I hate it when some of them get sticky." The freshly surfaced memory of their former senior's poorly maintained instruments made her shudder. The smell and the gunk of the worst offenders were overwhelming.

"The seller sent it for maintenance right before this. From what I can tell, it's good to go."

"I hope you don't mind reading sheet music off a tablet," Aoi said, standing it up on Haruka's desk. "It's short, so we can practice it for a while."

"Norwegian Wood…"

"I got the idea when you mentioned my book." Aoi smiled. "Do you know the lyrics?"

Haruka shook her head. "It's a bit old and in English."

The reminder of her abysmal foreign language skills forced a laugh from Aoi. "Yeah, Hiroe is the only one who ever got fluent in English."

"I'm not sure I can play this… It's been a while." Haruka mumbled as she flicked through the few pages.

It was a severe underestimation of herself. Haruka had been playing the saxophone for as long as her. Even if she was rusty after a few months, it would be easy after a short refresher.

"Why don't you practice the basics for a bit? I'll go get dinner from the Konbini."

"You're going to stay until then?"

"Until we can play this piece nicely."

"I can cook for us. I was planning to do it for myself anyway." Haruka seemed to be stretching in different directions, eyeing the score, her saxophone, the light drizzle outside, and most all, Aoi.

"But then we'll run out of time to play. You're the one who said we have class tomorrow."

"Oh… I thought you were going to stay over or something." She said, shuffling her feet around. "Since you didn't take any of your stuff back."

"Sorry," Aoi said with an embarrassed smile. "I was a bit rash. I probably should have dropped some of it off at home. But I wanted you to be sure I was coming back." Haruka remained silent, attempting to process thoughts that Aoi assumed were complex or confusing based on her expression. "What would I wear anyway?" She laughed, trying to help soothe things.

"I'm pretty sure you could fit into my clothes," Haruka mumbled. "I'm only a little taller."

Aoi braved the rain again, going to another familiar place. Haruka stayed incredibly close to Kitauji. The nearest convenience store was the same one she had spent so many evenings like grabbing a quick bite at on her way to cram school. It was a quick trip, getting some onigiri and oden. They were the healthiest options Aoi could find. Though she still ended up buying a melonpan that Haruka liked.

It took them until 10 p.m. before they could play the two-saxophone arrangement of Norwegian Wood by the Beatles smoothly. They were not that efficient, stopping for many breaks and chats in between. Even though Haruka never saw the lyrics to their saxophone duet, it was apparent that the music had a sentimental quality. It just sounded like the past.

Despite the hassle of carrying so many things home, it was worth the trouble. Haruka was uneasy once they had stopped playing, no doubt a mixture of emotions swirling within her. Aoi felt the same, sentimental, melancholic, but also elated, all at once. It was clear that she wanted her to stay longer.

As Aoi descended, making her way to the door, she realised the rain had finally stopped. The sound of their saxophones had been enough to overpower the light patter for most of the evening. It was still some time before the last train, and Haruka's reminder of their similar size made the proposition of staying tempting. She would have done it in some other world where she remained in the band or put more effort into her high school relationships. Now, it just felt too imposing. Too much like a distant dream she could only wish the younger her had come up with.

Haruka called from the base of her staircase as she finished putting on her shoes. "Why did you do this? Rushing all the way here to play with me." She was trying to force through a smile, but she never could manage to do that when she was about to cry.

"I remembered it's not too late."