Chapter 4: Pentatonic Counterpoint

Their divergent schedules eventually started to bite them. Mirai's lab sessions began, trapping her in the northern half of campus most afternoons. Haruka and Kaori were also growing tired of crossing the river each day, only to practice for an hour or two. It even rained once, leaving the roof unusable after only thirty minutes. The golden week holidays were a welcome respite, also giving them all time to study together at Kyodai after their rehearsals.

The amount of practice they were doing for just slightly more than ten minutes of music was starting to seem excessive. Though Asuka vehemently disagreed.

"Aoi!" The group cut before even reaching the halfway point of In My Life, turning to Asuka. "Somehow, you sound worse than last year."

Her words stung, immediately drawing out the memory of being rebuked by Taki-sensei.

"Asuka," Kaori chided. "You don't have to be harsh."

"This is her song, but she's still confused. And kind of dead."

"Aoi's hitting all the notes perfectly." But Haruka's defence was unconvincing.

Mirai stepped in, placing the slide of her trombone between them. "That's just not good enough." Her voice was cool and commanding. "Everyone here has at least six years of experience in band. It's a bit sad if excellence is still just playing all the notes accurately."

Aoi shrank backwards, clutching her sax tightly against her chest. Mirai's point was undeniable. The notes forming from her saxophone's bell had a polished exterior, all in the correct pitch and tempo, yet they were entirely hollow. It would have passed in a large concert. Though for something small and personal, it was glaringly inadequate.

"Aoi," Kaori said as she ushered her toward the other side of the roof. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah," she shrugged. "it's just Asuka being Asuka."

The rest of the group started a break, taking their pick of bottled drinks bought by Haruka and Kaori.

"I wish she wasn't like that sometimes." Kaori sighed. "But I suppose you understand some of it, right? Being around her for so long."

Aoi nodded along, not in the mood to go through Asuka's labyrinthine psyche. It was somehow simple and complex all at once. There was an intuitive way to comprehend Asuka, but it always resisted giving any deeper understanding to all except the most committed observers.

"Kaori, why did you choose Moon River?"

"Same reason you chose yours." Kaori's gaze was far away, cutting across the small rooftop through everyone.

"You're speaking like Asuka again,"

"Sorry." There was not a hint of embarrassment in her gentle smile. "The music and lyrics are just all resonating with me right now."

She leaned back on the parapet, her elbows propping up her relaxed body. Kaori's brown hair was usually the perfect length. This time, it was a pity it was not longer. The light brown cascade stopped too soon in the spring sunlight.

"Have you read the book? Breakfast at Tiffany's. It's been translated by Murakami."

"I haven't even got around to watching the movie." Kaori chuckled.

"So it's really just the lyrics. Is the moon's reflection on the Kamo that beautiful?"

Kaori turned to her with an attempt at a stern expression. "Who says it's not the Uji river?"

"Umm—I just thought since you and Asuka live at Rokujizo, so that river doesn't…" Aoi stopped talking as Kaori let another short giggle.

"Joking, joking, your right. But I wouldn't know if the Kamo is as pretty. I've never been out here that late… One day though." Kaori pushed herself back upright. "We should be talking about you and your song."

"I keep having flashbacks to Kitauji." Aoi felt ashamed of admitting this; as if she should have stronger control over her own mind and feelings. "It doesn't help that the others keep floating through my mind."

"I hope you're not remembering it as just all bad," Kaori was able to gently disarm anyone with just her eyes. It was impossible to hide away in a suit of emotional armour around her.

"Of course not. It's all just very, entangled."

"So, who are you playing for then?"

Aoi went over the lyrics in her head. "I thought I knew. But I'm starting to feel it's more than just one particular person, even if it's meant mostly for them."

"You really miss everyone?"

"Not our seniors," Aoi's face contorted.

None of them had made it to Kyodai, giving her an amount of spiteful satisfaction. It was not good to indulge it, but the fact the feeling existed at all only reinforced how terrible their second year had been. And that was without being directly attacked by them. Some of her juniors, especially Nozomi, must have been furious.

"You know, I don't think they were all that bad." Kaori still had a subdued smile.

"Kaori, you were begging them by the end. I saw how red your eyes were afterwards." It never ceased to amaze her how forgiving she could be.

"Can you really separate them from Kitauji?"

"I wish I could separate our batch from that school." She mumbled.

"Aoi, it's hard always being stuck in the past."

Kaori gave her a pat on the head. Aoi's indignance at being reminded of her short height was washed away by the genuine sympathy emanating from the nursing student. Her bedside manner was already flawless.

"The Beatles were never an angry bunch." Kaori continued. "At least that's what my mother told me yesterday." There was an abrupt giggle. "I don't know anyone our age who listens to them very often."

"I guess I'll just focus on memories of our first year then." Although it was apparent what kind of song In My Life was meant to be, it was difficult to pin down the precise combination of emotions she needed to put into her music.

Not long after, there was a clap from Haruka, calling for them to reconvene. They formed an expanded semi-circle, having pilfered more music stands for their growing rooftop collection. Asuka's prompt for them to skip In My Life was met without protest.

The only direction that Kyouko gave them for her choice, Hare Hare Yukai, was maximum energy. She even vandalised the sheet music with a ridiculous five f fortissimo, turning it into a caricature of Holst or Mahler. They eventually decided on a dressed-up version of the pop song with undulating dynamics, building up to the chorus. It was better than just immediately blasting it out loudly on repeat.

The rapid tempo of their previous song made it impossible to play Sukiyaki in anything but swing. Haruka said nothing, though her puffed cheeks gave away her irritation at the change in style. Although Kaori was the better trumpeter, their jazzy tune exposed her lack of flexibility. She came off as far too prim and proper compared to Kyouko, who was almost jiving, adding splashes of vibrato as she went.

It was more than made up for since Kaori and Asuka dominated Moon River, carrying the melody's highs and lows. All that was left for everyone else to do was support them with the harmony. It was clear that they were the two best players among them, save for Mirai.

"You sure you don't need to practice the solo?" Kyouko asked as they wrapped up the song. "Isn't there an accompaniment or something?"

"Just a little trombone support from Mirai," Asuka said, prompting her to give a nod in acknowledgement.

The lines between the tall, dark-haired music fanatics had blurred at times. But practising with them made it clear that, unlike Asuka, Mirai was a team player. Perhaps Asuka had known that all along. It explained her reluctance to lead the Kitauji band, pushing Aoi and later Haruka to do it.

"I thought the tune you always play is a euphonium etude?" Haruka asked.

"Shhhhh, classified." Asuka said with her usual playful wink.

They had all heard the tune floating through the corridors of Kitauji for years. There was no doubt she could play it flawlessly.

"Did you rearrange it?" Aoi asked. "You composed it yourself, right?"

"I'm good, but not that good."

"But it's all written in your old notebook," Haruka added.

"Oh… I just scribbled it down from some sheet music." Asuka said flippantly. "It's a Shindo Masakazu piece."

"Are you playing it?" Aoi continued. "You already rearranged Moon River, so if you're going to do something complicated, I need to know."

Asuka waved her away, "Relax, Aoi. You just focus on your song."

With a huff, Aoi nodded. Why she had to keep her plans secret from everyone except Mirai was beyond her. At least she was not going to be subject to Asuka's insane expectations through another difficult arrangement.

Aoi left the house early on Saturday morning, only leaving a note not to cook her share of breakfast. From what Haruka had told her, Doshisha's Golden Week was popular with nearby residents and other students. Although they would start playing at nine, it was unlikely that the campus would fill up until past eleven.

It was the first time in recent memory that Aoi was riding the Tozai Line. The train was mostly empty, letting all five of them sit facing each other without squeezing with their instruments.

"We're going to have quite an audience," Asuka announced as their train left Rokujizo station.

"We know," Aoi replied. The pressure from her was relentless at times.

"I don't think you do. Raina and Yoriko told me they would be stopping by before lunch."

Haruka made an audible gulp. "Huh?"

"How do they know? Have you met them since graduation?" Aoi asked.

"Haven't seen them. They're both at Ryukoku, so that explains why they're coming together."

"But I didn't say anything!" Haruka cried. "I even made sure the student union put us on the program without our names."

"What are we called?" Kaori chuckled to herself, ignoring Haruka's overreaction.

"Probably just jazz or brass ensemble, or something. It's not really important." Mirai muttered.

After going through the possibilities in her head, Aoi reached the only logical conclusion. "I bet it's Hiroe."

"You can't just blame her for everything," Haruka replied. "How would she even know."

"Hitoshi told Knuckles and Hideri." Aoi started, tracing an imaginary diagram in the air in front of her. "Knuckles definitely told Saki, then she passed it on to Shouko and Tori-chan since they're in the same faculty. From there, it went to Hiroe, and she's probably been blasting it across any LINE group that would listen."

"Outstanding Miss Watson," Asuka said haughtily.

Haruka took out her phone to double-check. "I haven't seen anything."

"It's all those smaller ones," Aoi replied. "You know, like some clique or section chats."

"I'm not sure if I can play in front of everyone." Haruka scrunched up the hem of her skirt.

"You've played with everyone," Asuka replied. "Six months of not being president, and suddenly you can't stand in front of them anymore?"

"It's not everyone. Some of them did leave Kyoto for university," Kaori added. Her tone was sweet, though the actual words did not do much.

Haruka began to get even more fidgety as Asuka relentlessly teased her.

"Was your band always this… unique." Mirai's expression was utterly unamused.

"Pretty much,"

"Explains why all of you are on a first-name basis. It must have been one hell of a third year, getting you guys to perform."

"I never told you did I, Mirai-chan."

"Ugh, do I look like a cute little girl to you?" She straightened her back, rising almost a full head taller than Aoi.

"Do you really want me to use -kun?" Aoi said, furling her brows.

"They're all terrible. I'm not a very formal person anyway." She said, waving her hand in dismissal. It explained why Asuka had stopped using her last name or any honorifics.

"Mirai, I actually quit the Kitauji band before we played at the Kyoto competition last year."

Her eyes flickered before narrowing down as she gazed across the train carriage towards the others.

"It was catastrophic." Aoi sighed. "Not just last year, but the year before as well."

"I'm surprised you'd want anything to do with it again. Was it really that special?"

"I think third year was for everyone else."

"Just the winning? Not even performing?"

"I was happy that everyone liked the music they were making for once."

After exiting from Imadegawa Station, they walked briefly up Karasuma road to the campus's western entrance. The gates were wide open, with dandelion yellow balloons hung everywhere.

Stepping into Doshisha was like visiting another country. The buildings were all made from deep maroon bricks. They were far darker than the almost faded salmon of Kyodai's structures, giving the campus a quaint yet rustic distance. If not for the kanji signs and a few modern style buildings, it was possible to believe they were somewhere in old or New England.

They turned left off the main avenue before the old chapel, towards a large quad. The venerable moss-covered trees gave way to ones barely more than saplings. But what really shattered the image was the five-storey building in front of them. Its walls more parts glass than brick.

"The Letters Faculty here is a real eyesore," Aoi said to Haruka.

"Really? It's one of the newest buildings."

"Exactly."

"Now, Aoi," Asuka said, "It's not nice to do research on someone else's university just to call it ugly."

They moved to the north end of the quad and settled into their performance area. Haruka had organised everything single-handedly, securing them a prominent location. It was a wide-open space without any buildings close by to reverberate the sound. There was nothing to cover up or bolster a weak performance.

As expected, Kyouko was the last to arrive even though she stayed the closest. Other students began to set up their various fundraising stalls around them. It was not as dense as most festivals, giving the campus a more relaxed atmosphere. Everyone from Doshisha was dressed in some shade of yellow, making Aoi self-conscious of the green dress and white cardigan she had chosen. Haruka was so preoccupied with all the details that she forgot to tell them the obvious.

One outfit among them made her feel better. "Kyouko, how are you okay with wearing a Kyodai hoodie here?"

"I already stick out. Plus, we should be proud of it. It took a lot of hard work to get in." The dark blue fabric and their university's crest only made her more prominent. "Besides, no one is going to say anything about it. They can think whatever they want."

Their first performance was just past nine, with the small crowd growing steadily as they went through the set. It was mostly families with children on their weekend outing. Thankfully, none of the applause was just out of politeness. All the adults were near their parent's age, nodding along to their mostly archaic music choices. There was even an elderly couple that looked like they were about to dance as they played Sukiyaki.

Asuka said nothing, but it was abundantly clear that Aoi's playing was still barely satisfactory to her. Loading In My Life with just nostalgia felt off. Aoi thought that she could get inspiration from Asuka's solo, remembering it shared a similar emotional quality. But so far, the euphonist had kept it in her back pocket, waiting for the largest possible audience before performing it.

A few sets later, their lunchtime performance came. It was not quite packed, though their audience was still easily over fifty people. The first familiar faces began to appear in the crowd. It was easy to spot Hiroe from afar. She still tied her fringe up into a small bun that bopped up and down as she made her way to the front. In tow and apologising for Hiroe clumsily bulldozing her way through the crowd was Saki, Tori, and Shouko.

Aoi struggled to control the trembling of her right leg. It did not help that everywhere she turned, more people were appearing. Knuckles energetically waved at them while Hideri and Hitoshi stood awkwardly beside him on a bench behind the crowd. Yoriko was another easy person to identify, towering over the people around her. That meant Raina, and therefore Mikino were somewhere nearby. Aoi was almost sure there were others she was missing. Even though the news had spread like wildfire, it was surprising and moving, seeing so many of their friends come.

There was a yelp from Haruka as Asuka pushed her to the front to introduce the songs they were playing. She tried her best, but her voice was nowhere near loud enough to grab everyone's attention.

"Good morning everyone!" Asuka said, stepping forward instead. As her introduction went on, Hiroe gave Aoi a teethy, crooked smile and a thumbs up with both hands. The other girls with her were more subdued with their encouragement, Shouko's face being entirely obscured behind her camera.

The memories and thoughts of her friends were nothing compared to their actual presence. It was overwhelming. She had avoided any long conversations with them after leaving the band, afraid to find out their opinions. If they hated her for quitting even after her rhetoric in second year. Or worse, if they were entirely ambivalent, her presence being meaningless. It all got to the point where it was better to leave it unresolved and pretend it was for the best.

Time could have stood still from the way their smiles greeted her. They were not just here to see their three retired band leaders; they were here to see their friends, including Aoi. It made her wonder why she had ever been worried.

Asuka wrapped up her introduction and kicked off the harmony accompaniment for In My Life. As the time for the melody's entrance approached, it all clicked. Aoi's tenor saxophone created mellow notes, full of warmth and nostalgia. But the music was not meant to just dredge up the past. It was about how the world was fleeting, leaving only memories. Kyouko probably encapsulated the feelings best when she gave Aoi a surprise lecture on the Tale of Genji a week ago. Mono no aware; a sensitivity to the ephemeral was the best way to describe the archaic term. It permeated Lady Murasaki's and most Heian era works.

Aoi added a taper to some of her notes, letting them gently fade away, hiding the roughness with a narrow vibrato. She poured the melancholy of only having memories of the past into the music, mixing it with the warmth of nostalgia and just a faint dash of hope. Hope that the way she perceived them could change with the right people—the right person.

It was risky trying something like this out of the blue, but the rest followed her lead as the melody passed to Kaori, then Mirai, before returning to her for the solo. Tiny beads of sweat were starting to form on her head by the time it finished. The crowd's cheering was fantastic, but it was the glowing looks that Aoi got from the people she knew which really lifted her up.

As they continue with their set, Aoi's mind raced through how their friends would have made their music even better. Tori-chan's clarinet could add a light woodwind sound, improving their rendition of Hare Hare Yukai. With Saki, they would have the xylophone their score of Sukiyaki had called for. Most of all, they lacked a drummer like Knuckles to give their music a strong rhythmic backbone.

Then came Asuka's long-awaited solo. The Kitauji students jolted up when unexpected notes appeared. Her song was just as warm and longing as the usual etude, resounding even more with Mirai's subtle trombone harmony. Their surroundings were still fairly noisy, but the notes from her euphonium cut through it with ease. They were all mesmerised by Asuka's music, easily matching the standards of a professional. There was something special about the song, leaving Kaori on the verge of tears.

"Thank you everybody!" Asuka announced after taking a bow. "That was Jeanie with the Light Brown Hair by Stephen Foster, arranged for the euphonium by Shindo Masakazu." Based on that title, it was no surprise she kept it a secret for maximum effect.

As the crowd began to disperse, their friends charged forward, scattering them into smaller groups.

"Aoi!" Hiroe practically screamed. "That was way better than my Careless Whispers. I haven't heard you play like that in ages."

"You haven't heard me play at all in ages." Aoi smiled.

"I pestered everyone who's free. Took almost no effort to get them to cave and show up." Hiroe turned to the other Kitauji alumni in Doshisha. "Shouko, did you get some good shots?"

"I think so?" She mumbled while looking through her camera.

Haruka joined them as they crowded around the tiny screen of her Olympus camera.

Most of the shots were of the scenery around campus. Pretty good landscapes at that. "I still haven't gotten over how magical campus is." Shouko said as she quickly flicked through the camera's album.

"Gone home late yet?" Hiroe asked. "You can probably get a good shot of Harris or Clarke hall with plenty of stars."

"Not yet. I'm still on top of all my readings." Shouko replied, focused on sifting through her pictures. "I'm not sure how to do that. The light pollution can get pretty bad."

"Well," Hiroe smirked. "I'm sure Hitoshi can help you with that."

"Don't tease her like that." Tori chided, placing her hands on Shouko's shoulders in support.

Shouko's grip tightened around her camera as she tried to remain unphased. The pictures of them in action were great shots. Though the more distant framing gave them an artistic but impersonal air. They were better used for promotional material or in a yearbook than kept as a personal memento.

Hiroe remained undeterred, now turning her attention to Saki. "Are you going to talk to Knuckles?"

"He's busy right now." She replied with a wave of her hand.

The three boys had struck up a conversation with Mamoru, no doubt wondering how he got conscripted into their ensemble.

"Mirai!" A girl with two high twin tails ran at the trombonist, enveloping her in a bear hug.

The contrast could not have been more absolute. Aoi had never seen Mirai in anything other than jeans and muted shirts or blouses. On the other hand, her friend was much shorter than her but festooned with pink accessories from hair ties to bracelets.

The taller girl squirmed a little but gave up without much resistance. "Nice to see you too, Momo."

"Is she from Rikka too?" Aoi asked, leaving the Doshisha group before Hiroe could probe into her life.

"Yes, I am!" Momo exclaimed, cutting Mirai off before she could reply.

The brief introduction told her nothing she could not anticipate. Koyama Momoka insisted that everyone just call her Momo. The accessories and her peached coloured dress signalled that she was the quintessential cute, girly girl. Not that Aoi or most of her friends were very far away from that most of the time.

"How did you know I was going to be here?" Mirai asked. "Did word reach all the way to Ritsumeikan?"

"It was by chance." She smiled bashfully. "Himegami-chan told me that some people from Kyodai were coming here to perform. We dug around a little and found out your one of them."

"That Hitoshi really has got some memory," Mirai grumbled. "Remembering my high school after only a brief mention."

"How do you know Himegami?" Aoi interrupted.

"We're in the same faculty! I met her in one of our tutorials."

"Oh, not through the band?"

"We went for the tryouts, but she said it didn't really feel right," Momo said. "I have another friend from band here with me. Well, we all met at the tryouts; none of us actually joined."

She gestured for her friend to come forward. "This is Noriko-chan,"

Misaka Noriko greeted them with a curious mixture of energy and shyness, each trying to overpower the other. "I'm a percussionist, but Momo wanted me to watch you play to see what Rikka could really do." She said to Mirai.

Mirai's hand moved to the nape of her neck. "That's very flattering,"

A tall shadow appeared on the ground in front of Aoi. "Do you mind if we join you?" Souga Yoriko said. "Asuka and Kaori wanted some time by themselves."

The entire double reed section from their batch accompanied her. Which was not saying much since it was just Kitamura Raina and Oka Mikino. Being around the three of them made Aoi feel like she was a child with their towering heights. Even the shortest, Mikino, was still half a head taller than her. Yoriko quickly struck up a conversation with the Ritsumeikan girls, talking about their mutual friend Kotoko Himegami.

"Juri and Hiro were free," Raina started, shaking her head. "But you know them… they haven't messaged us, so they're probably still asleep. Bukkyo University should not have let them room together."

"How's school going for you?" Aoi asked. "Did you guys join the Ryukoku Band?"

"Yoriko and I tried. We failed the auditions."

"Oh… I'm sorry."

"Nah, you don't need to tiptoe around it," Raina said, shaking her head.

"I just thought, you know, Yoriko and you were one of the best players at Kitauji."

"I thought that too," Mikino interjected, looking annoyed on Raina's behalf.

The taller bassoonist maintained her usual cool exterior. "I assumed we had a pretty good chance since we made it to nationals. Especially with all the talk of high school bands reaching that level having the equivalent ability to most university ensembles. Not for Ryukoku, apparently."

"They do get gold in the university division at nationals every year." Aoi nodded.

"Even with less competition, Ryukoku is on another level. The eight contrabass players they have should tell you enough about them."

"They didn't need more bassoonist? It isn't the most common instrument."

Raina shook her head. "They have a surplus of everything. It was worse for Yoriko. They have something like twenty flutes, and most could double on the piccolo."

"They're a bunch of snobs." Mikino protested. "They even had the nerve to ask you to stay in their training program for a year before debuting publicly with them."

Raina's expression softened as she tried to calm her friend down. Despite her overly belligerent tendencies, Mikino was probably justified in this case. It sounded like Ryukoku was expecting members with a music program's level of ability and dedication. Rather excessive, given they still had their academics to consider.

"You're from Seria High?!" Yoriko exclaimed, catching their attention.

Noriko nodded with her hands on her hips. "Fukuoka's finest!"

"Do you know an Akiyama Yuki?" Aoi interjected.

The percussionist scratched her chin in thought for a moment. "Yeah, she played in the bass section. Never really talked much."

Aoi was starting to feel a web of connections forming. Although the coincidence was quite remarkable, it was not entirely unexpected. A similar thing happened when she moved from junior to senior high. Groups split into different schools, which led to their new circles of friends overlapping when they met again. Repeated enough times, it became probable that two people in the same batch from Kyoto had a mutual friend from somewhere.

"Ritsumeikan is losing out," Raina said, joining their conversation. "Were you part of the group that played Sparke's Music of the Spheres?"

"Our seniors led most of the performance," Noriko replied. "Yuki and I were just a part of it."

Mirai was visibly impressed. "It was better than some professional concerts."

Aoi saw an excellent opportunity to slipped away as they continued to discuss the pieces their schools played during their time. She joined Haruka for a brief instrument cleaning before packing them away.

As she sealed her saxophone case, a voice called out to her the made her freeze.

"Professor Saito?" Shouko said. "Oh…"

"Hi Dad," Aoi said as she turned around.

Seeing her father next to her friends, it was no wonder to Aoi that she was short. He was almost the same height as Asuka despite being the tallest person in their household. His slight wrinkles and thinning hair were only made more prominent by the young students around him. It made Aoi worried about what she would look like in two and a half decades.

"You should have told me you were coming to Doshisha." He said, "I could have given you a lift. Or at least messaged me when you got here. I haven't seen you perform since Junior high."

"I didn't know you would be here…" she mumbled. More accurately, she hoped that he would not be around on the weekend. "I was coming with friends."

He let out a hearty laugh. "Alright, alright. They probably wouldn't be able to fit with all the instruments." Aoi's father turned towards Shouko. "Hagiwara-san, I didn't know you were friends with my daughter."

"Aoi never mentioned you teach here…" She said nervously. "Sorry, I never made the connection."

"Don't need to apologise." He said with a polite smile. "It's just a pleasant surprise. And so is managing to fill this performance slot."

"Professor, you're involved with this?" Shouko asked.

"I'm on the clubs committee." He replied. "But it's mostly just paperwork and formality, checking once in a while to see things are going well."

Shouko nodded along, glancing over to Aoi briefly. It was unclear what she was expecting her to do.

"It's a pity all of you aren't in Doshisha." He continued. "We've been trying to start the concert band up again. Lots of the old instruments are going to waste just sitting in storage."

A silence hung in the air as the former Kitauji students eyed each other.

"Aoi," Asuka whispered from behind. "You never told me about this."

The hairs on her neck stood up. "I didn't know; we don't talk much." She muttered back.

Asuka stepped forward as the rest looked on curiously. "Professor Saito, would Doshisha allow students from other universities to join a band as well?"

"Hmm, I'm not sure about university funding. But aside from money, it's perfectly fine. We already have a few circles like that, and we let them use campus facilities."

Aoi bit her lower lip, worried about what Asuka might be concocting. Turning to Haruka, she wore a mixture of confusion and intrigue. Hardly reassuring.

"Anyway, that's just a thought. I hope all of you had fun." He said, "University is the best time of your lives." There was a brief pause as he pondered his statement. "Actually, they say that about high school too; and only one of those statements can possibly be true. Still, make the most of your time. It'll only happen once."

Her father walked a few paces before turning around briefly. "Aoi, I'll be here for a while more. Message me if you want a lift home. And please answer your mother's text sooner when she asks if you're having dinner."

"Okay," Aoi replied half-heartedly. "See you at home."

The Doshisha students turned towards her, eyes filled with curiosity.

"Aoi, you never told us." Hiroe started.

"It never came up. It's not important." She replied, looking away as she twirled her braids.

"Your dad's really nice." Tori offered.

"You guys like him?"

"He's a good teacher. Great at encouraging us too, even though we didn't meet his standards on our first essay." Saki replied. "He said we would eventually get it; university being a big change from high school and all."

It was difficult for Aoi to really process their praise. She supposed most other people would be elated their family was well-liked by their friends. All she did was nod along since what they said about him was objectively true. Her dad had always been too generous with his praise and encouragement.

An arm latched on to Aoi's shoulder, dragging her towards them. "This actually made me feel better," Kyouko said, only inches away from Aoi. "At least I know it's not just my messages that get ignored."

Aoi felt irresponsible. Justified, but still irresponsible. A very unusual feeling. One that was far too familiar with history repeating itself right before her eyes.

She shrank back into her seat as Himeko marched towards them from the front of the band room. Haruka's baritone sax would have come in handy now as a larger shield from their senior. Asuka surely saw her as well but continued to practice her music until she was right on top of them.

"Tanaka, Saito, Seizaki, can I have a word?" Her voice was like iron, and she wore a stern expression that could match Mirai's.

"Of course," Asuka's curt reply caused Aoi even more physical discomfort. Although she loathed her more manipulative ways, she desperately hoped that Asuka's silver tongue could talk them out of this problem.

"Outside," She gestured with a thumb over her shoulder. As they stood up, she pointed to Mamoru, ordering him to follow.

Exiting the band room into the late spring heat, Kyouko and Chiyomi were already outside talking. The blond was still smiling, though apologetically. It would have been a promising sign if not for the apparent irritation plastered on both their senior's faces.

Before they reached the two trumpeters, Himeko erupted. "One message. Just one message would have been all it took."

"President?" Mamoru said, quickly backing away the moment her glare struck him.

"Nishi-san," Asuka started, "This was an important favour for our friend. She was getting quite depressed. We had to do something."

Her bluntness was doubly confusing. It was impossible to tell if Asuka was perpetrating a lie or being truthful. It was plausible that she felt this way, yet it also sounded like something she would never state openly. Not that Himeko would know, it was the perfect statement to generate sympathy.

Their president let out a sigh, massaging her temple in an attempt to collect herself.

"Look, we're pretty lax around here, but could you not take advantage of that. I don't know why you would be paranoid enough to think that we would stop you or hijack your performance. At least inform us you're doing something like this instead of going behind our backs. Is that why you guys couldn't come for last Saturday's practice?"

The first years nodded along sullenly, except Asuka, who maintained unwavering eye contact with Himeko. Their president sounded more upset than furious. When she laid everything out, they sounded almost conspiratorial based on how they handled things. They had missed one practice and used quite a few others for their own purposes. If this were the extent of her grievances, it was possible to resolve it all with a sincere apology.

"We were considering playing in the Kyoto competition this year. We do actually keep track of how much practise we're getting and gauge what we can do."

While haphazard, Aoi realised they were more laid back than lazy. Eventually, each person did proper practice and put in effort when it came time to play as an ensemble. They actually had a strange kind of efficiency, designed to balance enjoyment with work instead of maximising potential. Kyodai was not going to nationals or probably even the Kansai competition, but they were happy with the music they made. There was no delusion about their objectives. This was their hobby, and their goal was to put on decent and fun performances.

The silence was unbearable to her. Aoi took a gulp of air before plunging herself into a deep bow. "Nishi-senpai, we're sorry for not saying something beforehand. It was irresponsible for us to derail your competition plans."

Himeko let out another huff before gesturing for her to stand upright. "It's not like I don't understand you guys. But spare of thought for us first instead of apologising afterwards. We have a good chance this year. I don't want to waste it."

As Aoi stood up, she saw Asuka's diplomatic demeanour collapse into an expression she had not seen since their fighting in second year. "We have no chances in a competition."

Chiyomi and Kyouko snapped towards them. Aoi scrunched up the hem of her skirt, trying to cover up the trembling of her hands while putting on a brave face.

"It wasn't meant as an insult. Sorry." Aoi interjected immediately. She hoped it was convincing despite the tiny cracks in her voice she picked up. "Asuka's very passionate about her music. Her standards are too high sometimes."

"Why are you apologising? They owe us an apology." Asuka's voice was rising. Was she actually losing control?

"Everyone's emotions are a little tense now, Asuka." Aoi was struggling to keep composed herself. "Let's take a step back for a bit."

Himeko's attempts to restrain herself lapsed, and she rose to Asuka's challenge. "What exactly makes you think that?"

"All of it, not bothering with any plans, the shoddy attendance taking, every lax practice session. Of course, we would do our own things. Now you want to pretend we were working for a competition, and you need to keep tabs on us?"

Asuka might be making some kind of calculated manoeuvre, but its object incomprehensible to everyone else. She still appeared collected, eyes dull and narrow, lips only gently pursed, chin ever so slightly tilted up. There was a noticeable crease in her brows that Aoi rarely saw.

"Is informing us too much to ask?" Himeko replied, gritting her teeth. "You can't tell us you're at practice and just spend the whole time doing your own thing. What you do during the holidays is your own business, but don't turn up and just pretend to follow along."

"There's been no meaningful change to anything the band can do. We still can't play the Radetzky March. A few of us practising any less or more isn't the issue."

From behind their president, Chiyomi's expression soured. Kyouko tried to signal with her eyes for them to stop, but there was nothing Aoi could do. Even Mirai remained stiff, unsure how to intervene, if at all. The two of them were arguing on separate tangents. What could have been resolved with a simple apology was no longer so simple.

"I don't care if you think we're shit compared to other university bands. Informing us is basic respect! I don't know what you've been doing in high school, but this kind of crap won't be acceptable at any job."

That last statement pushed Asuka over the edge. Without saying a word, she pivoted on the balls of her feet towards the band room. Her strides were as wide as possible, swiftly cutting through the small crowd that had gathered by the door.

Aoi was unable to say anything. No one was. They all watched in silence, letting the moment drag on. There was awkward shuffling and some murmurs as Himeko remained rooted with fist clench and fury on her face. Asuka quickly exited the room, euphonium case in hand, bursting the bubble.

"Quit staring," Himeko ordered to the mass of spectators. "Practice is over for today. Stay if you have stuff to work on. I'm heading home."

Kyouko was pulling the ends of her hair in frustration as Chiyomi ushered Himeko away. Aoi made a quick bow, muttering another apology before she turned in Asuka's direction.

"Aoi!" Mirai yelled as she rushed past her.

"Please, help me handle things here!"

Why did Asuka have to be so tall? It was difficult to catch up with her smaller strides, nearly forcing her to sprint. "Asuka! Wait!"

Aoi almost reached out to grab ahold of her before she finally reacted to her cries and turned around. "What? I don't have a right to quit?"

She recoiled. "That's what you're doing? Nishi-senpai just wanted us to tell them when we're taking time off practice. Wouldn't you be insulted too?"

"I thought you of all people would see it," Asuka shook her head. "they can't just say it's about their pride as seniors being wounded. They have to pretend that it's for some bullshit goal."

"Asuka… we should have just told them. I don't know why I let you convince me they might do something to stop us. Anzai-senpai and Nishi-senpai aren't like our seniors at Kitauji."

Asuka leaned in, lowering her voice to almost a whisper. "I convinced everyone else as well. That means they saw it as a possibility too."

"That doesn't make it unavoidable." She protested.

"Maybe they're not as vicious," Asuka conceded, standing upright again. "but their more similar than different. More concerned with their hierarchy and respect than anything else. They can pretend to be friendly and laid back all they want, but the band is still segregated. You can see it for yourself. It's been a month, and we only know other first years. Have the saxes talked to you even once? If they want to separate themselves as seniors, they should act like it and actually guide people."

"No, they didn't…" Aoi muttered. "Why are you being so cynical?—No, why are you being so irrational! You tried to convince Nozomi-chan and our other juniors of your whole ideology, to just bide their time and suck it up until they could change things. Now you're just going to be a hypocrite and quit?"

Aoi knew she was precariously close to being a hypocrite as well. But she never pretended her reasons were anything more than what they were. It was all selfish: so she would not fail; so she could avoid reminders of all the people left behind before third year.

"Let's be practical." Asuka wore a cold smirk, her eyes turning dull. "I told Nozomi-chan that because when we took over, our interest would align with theirs. This band will never change. There are no teachers and too many members to influence. They haven't done anything for me. I don't bother with things that don't matter."

She was about to respond when Asuka raised her hand. "You can stay if you want. But you don't get a say in what happens to me again."

"Again?" A wave of confusion overtook Aoi's frustration. "You're always one step ahead of the rest of us. You're the one that's always affecting us! Do you really think we can go back after that?"

"The rest of you didn't say anything wrong," Asuka replied, flicking her hair back.

"You know that's not how this looks." Aoi's face contorted, finally revealing her anger.

Asuka began to walk away, not bothering to face her anymore. "People all see what they want."

There was a slight crack in her voice. Or maybe it was the gust of wind that distorted it. Whether this was planned, a burst of anger, or surrendering hope was impossible to discern. All the little hints Aoi relied on could easily be reading too much into things.

That night, Aoi scrolled through her phone. The last message sent or received was from three days ago, arranging to meet with Haruka for their journey to school together. After their performance, she had become much less clingy—a promising sign of her improved mood.

Her thumb hovered over the send button again, but she decided against it. Words on a page were not enough.

"Haruka? Did I wake you up?"

"No, I was about to go to sleep. What's wrong?" She could hear the rustling of her thick blankets as Haruka made herself comfortable.

Aoi took a deep breath. "It happened again."

"It?" Haruka squeaked. "It!"

"Yeah… Asuka quit. The rest of us are probably going to do the same."

"Are you okay?" Her tone went far beyond apprehensive concern. Anyone listening in on them would assume Haruka was the one who needed to be consoled.

"Don't worry about me." Aoi paused, wondering if it was right to ask Haruka for support.

Despite her propensity for tears, she was not as fragile as her appearance would sometimes suggest. After all, she did step up to lead their band and managed everything excellently, aside from the drama. But she worried too much about most things. It would only multiply the negative emotions instead of sharing the load.

"I just wanted to say," Aoi continued. "I'm sorry."

"What, why?"

"I tried to stop and question Asuka. I was only guessing how you felt before this. I got a taste of it today."

"It's okay. I always knew you didn't mean all the things you said when you stormed off. I was just hoping you would admit it if I tried to stop you. It was actually more to reassure myself."

"It's getting late," Aoi said as she lay down on her bed.

"It's just reaching midnight. Neither of us has morning classes tomorrow." Haruka replied. "You want some of that reassurance?"

Aoi nodded as if Haruka could somehow see it.

They talked for another hour until they were both too tired to continue. It was soothing to be reminded that the four of them could still perform together if all else failed. Maybe it was retreating into the past, but what did it matter if it made them feel better. There was also the crazy option, one that Aoi hoped Asuka was not actually considering.