Chapter 9: Schoolgirl

With the passing of Obon and Kyoto's bonfire festival, summer started in earnest. The expected frenetic schedule of rehearsals never materialised. Asuka, for once, was content to let them lie fallow until the fall. Even with the band dispersed, the impending doldrums from their absence never came. Aoi received a constant stream of snippets of their lives over LINE despite sending out no messages of her own. Knuckles and Hideri raced to engineer a glider with their university's team to use in the Birdman competition. Mirai suddenly disappeared for an entire week, only to return with souvenirs from Kyushu and greetings from the Kyodai Equestrian Club. Even Yuki and Noriko sent them a video of them enjoying Fukuoka's famous ramen with other Seira Girl's High alumni. All of it was a stark reminder that everyone had a life outside of the band—almost everyone. Thankfully, Aoi finally had a focus beyond music or studying, even if it was only temporary.

The search for an apartment was as exciting as it was infuriating. The intoxicating freedom of deciding where they would live was barely powerful enough to justify the hassle it involved. Moving out was greeted with an embarrassing amount of enthusiasm from Aoi's parents and a disappointing lack of questions from Haruka's. Fortunately, the egregious amount of time spent sifting through online listings and the endless viewings happened in the absence of classes or rehearsals. The tedious cycle only added to the friction with her soon-to-be roommate as their wants started to clash. None of their quarrels were severe, but it became all too apparent they had incredibly specific desires for their new home.

"It's a good offer," Aoi said as she sat down at the northbound platform of Rokujizo Station. "Why can't we just take it."

Haruka smoothed out her skirt as she sat down next to her. "It's not the best option."

"It's kind of far from school, but Kiyamachi street will be beautiful in the spring with all the Sakura trees on the banks. Plus, it's probably one of the few places big enough for all your stuff."

"I won't survive that long. The tatami will tear up my feet."

Aoi sighed. "It's not that rough. Actually, it's not rough at all. You'll learn to enjoy it after a while."

"Only you like tatami. And there's also sleeping on the floor." Her gaze remained fixed ahead, only eyeing Aoi with her peripheral vision.

"Stop being dramatic. There will be futons. They can be as thick and plush as you want." Perhaps the pliant and meek Haruka was actually her better half. At least compared to whatever this whining spoilt version was. "Don't you have a budget as well? There's no way we can get anything as good without our rent going through the roof."

Haruka instantly folded her arms. "Money is the only thing that isn't an issue."

"Really? Your parents just gave you a blank check?"

"It's not like this offer is cheap. You're not complaining about that either."

Aoi's parents were not that generous, but it was not like they were stingy either. And even if Haruka was right, being spendthrift was always a bad idea. "It's been almost a month since we started looking. If we don't pick something soon, there won't be time to properly move in before term starts."

"So we should just settle for anything we come across?"

"Settle? This place is right in the middle of downtown Kyoto. There's live jazz music and cafes all around us. Is the distance from school really that big of a deal? Living there will still halve the time it takes to get to school from here."

"I'll still have to change busses twice. I hate tatami floors. And I want to sleep in an actual bed."

"I hate it when you get this spoilt."

Aoi snapped away, hiding her souring expression and shock at her own words. They were both in some of their best clothes for the concert they were headed to. Yet all the glee that came with wearing a cute dress had vanished once they started discussing their house search.

They sat in silence, looking out across the tracks to the opposite platform. The train they were meant to take lurched to halt in front of them, allowing the few passengers travelling in the middle of the day to board. Despite the departure jingle warning them that the doors were about to close, they remained unflinchingly seated, letting the train roll off towards the city centre without them.

A light tapping on her hand prompted Aoi to turn back, revealing Haruka had crept even closer.

"It's just really far away." Haruka's attempts to maintain consistent eye contact were in vain. Her pupils constant shuffled from Aoi to their surroundings despite being only inches away. "The only convenient way to get around is to cycle."

"Kyoto is great for that. I can lend you mine until you find a—" The discomfort on Haruka's face told her all she needed to know. "You don't know how to ride a bicycle."

There was a brief wince before Haruka gave a meek nod of acknowledgement. "It's too embarrassing. Nineteen, and I don't know how to cycle. Most children are more independent than me."

"It's not a big deal."

"It is," Haruka bit her lower lip. "And I can't learn now. It's too embarrassing to struggle along with training wheels in public. What if I fall over and cry like a little kid…."

It was somewhat peculiar that Haruka had gone her whole life without learning such an ordinary skill. Then again, there was probably never a reason for her to learn or anyone around to teach her. In fact, knowing her personality made it hard to imagine her cycling. At least, not without some creative license. "You know, I think you would look like the quintessential Showa-era schoolgirl if you cycled."

"Huh? Is that a compliment?"

For the first time in weeks, a warm smile came easily to Aoi's face. "I can see it now. Riding an old-fashioned Fuji bicycle, the ones with the swept-back handlebars from the fifties, your leather school briefcase stuffed into the front basket. I bet you'd be running late too; seifuku and twin tails fluttering in the breeze as you rush towards the front gate."

Haruka hesitantly nodded along, seemingly neither flattered nor entirely perplexed. "I guess that sounds cute?"

"I guess it is." Aoi shrugged, the mild heat from her cheeks fading.

"Still not learning. Even with that sweet talk." Haruka's cheeks puffed up, a strange way to emphasise her resolve.

It was always impossible to refuse her. "We'll look for a place nearer school, alright?"

"We can buy some tatami mats. And you can put a futon in your bed frame." Haruka's eyes brighten, her smile returning. "I'll handle the searching then. You need to start preparing for next term, right?"

"Yeah… don't remind me. Classical literature will be even harder."

The nostalgic fantasy of a time Aoi had never been around to see quickly waned, offering only a brief respite. It was fortunate that Haruka was oblivious to the change, her eyes fixed on her phone as she went over more apartment listings. Even the change of atmosphere when they finally boarded a train did little to help things. Most of the journey was spent staring off into space, her brows perpetually furled.

The scenery suddenly disappeared as their train descended into the underground section of the Keihan main line, snapping Aoi out of her long daze.

"What if Asuka finds out?" she mumbled.

"About the apartment? Or that we're looking for one?" Haruka was still endlessly scrolling on her phone.

"No…" That was an inevitability Aoi had surrendered to. Asuka might know about it already, merely waiting for her chance to verbally pounce on the two of them for her own amusement.

Haruka landed a gentle slap against her elbow. "Cheer up. We're almost at the concert hall."

"You recovered quickly." Maybe her voice was so chipper because she had gotten her way with their choice of house.

"It was just a small argument." Haruka finally looked up, her eyes flickering as she realised what was happening. "Hey! You said you would stop brooding about it."

"I know I promised—"

"It's been almost two weeks."

Aoi slumped further into her seat. "You really think I can just forget about that."

"Your grades are still above average." Haruka sighed. "It's only a few percentile points behind mine."

That illogical reasoning was always insufferably hard to rebuke. At least emotionally. Any protest either insulted Haruka's academic abilities or arrogantly suggested that Kyoto University was far superior to Doshisha. Or worse, both.

The buzzing of a phone broke the brief silence between them. "I don't think you'll have to be worried about her making fun of your grades today," Haruka said as she scrolled through a message. "They're running late again."

The Kyoto Kaikan had long been a familiar sight to all of them. But this was Aoi's first visit in such quick succession, less than a month having passed since the last time. In all previous years, Kitauji's abysmal performances never allowed her to return for the regional competition. In a way, this visit made up for her complete absence from the concert hall last year.

The frantic, eleventh-hour rendezvous with Asuka and Kaori gave Aoi the chance to slink away unnoticed as they dashed towards the building. She remained distant as the other three were instantly engulf by their juniors in the outdoor concourse. Watching them excitedly fawn over their returned seniors sapped what little energy was left in Aoi. Would she receive even a fraction of that warmth if she joined them?

As Kitauji's usual fighting cheer resounded through the concourse, that tiny shadow of a doubt was washed away. Of course not. They never cheered that loudly until last year, and by then, she had left. Aoi only received a curious glance from Haruka as they finally sat down in the concert hall. And once the Kansai competition started, Kitauji's Liz and the Blue Bird captivated them all, even Asuka, leaving Aoi as nothing but a distant afterthought.

As the audience filed out after the last performance, the participating students not returning to the hall started to huddle together in small groups, trading harsh whispers with agonised expressions. Their tone and body language carrying anxiety about results to every corner of the foyer, infecting the air itself. Even though she was no longer directly involved in the competition, Haruka was still wrought. Constantly fiddling with her barrettes and twisting her twin tails, even her immaculate plaid skirt had become completely crumpled as she compulsively scrunched it up. As much as Aoi wanted to do something, it was unbearable to be around her when she got like this.

Perhaps it was a callous conclusion, but whether Kitauji progressed to nationals or not this year should matter little to them as graduates. This was no longer their story. In a way, it was never even Aoi's story. Perhaps it was all a sad testament that she had so little attachment to her juniors. Stealing away again until the results were announced seemed like the prudent choice. Both to avoid Haruka's mood and to prevent her unwittingly worsening it with a dispassionate response.

"Aoi! Over here."

A familiar male voice was the last thing she was expecting when entering the building's cafe. Turning to the outdoor seating behind her, the odd pairing of Mamoru and Mirai waved to her. At least it was not Asuka and Kaori, the two also having disappeared somewhere by themselves.

"I should have guessed you guys would be here." Aoi said as she sat down at their table.

"We just happened to run into each other." Mirai took a brief sip of her iced coffee. "I thought you would be with the rest of Kitauji. Or at least with Ogasawara."

"I thought so too."

"Did you want to get something to drink?" Mamoru said, clutching both his hands around his iced tea.

"I was just looking for a place to get away for a bit." A quick glance at the menu confirmed that there was nothing of interest anyway.

"Let me guess," Mirai continued. "Our president is a nervous wreck now."

Aoi sighed. "Pretty much."

"Shouldn't you be with her or something?" Mamoru asked.

Aoi shook her head. "It's hard to help her when she gets like this. At least by myself."

The sound of chair legs scraping against the pavement tore at Aoi's ears. "We can go with you." Mamoru said as he prepared to stand up. "Where is she now?"

Aoi's hand waved limply as she bidded him to remain seated. It would be interesting to see how Haruka reacted to the three of them. Maybe they would even be successful, the presence of the others making her less comfortable with pouring out her unfiltered anxiety. But it was still hardly a good solution. And possibly even worse than Auska's method of ruthlessly teasing her as a distraction.

Mamoru stayed hunched over, torn between standing and remaining seated. His lankiness began to show with his long arms and legs bent in positions uncomfortable enough to make anyone looking at him wince. Finally, Mirai yanked on his sleeve, forcing him back into his seat.

"Aren't you two going to be roommates soon?" Mamoru said.

"It's always been like this. She'll be over it once they announce the results."

Mirai's hand snapped in front of Mamoru, cutting him off with his mouth only slightly ajar.

"If you say so." He mumbled.

"You don't look so good yourself." Mirai said. "More than just being affected by Haruka's bad mood."

Of course, she was perceptive as usual. "It's been a rough few weeks."

"I thought you went on holiday somewhere?" Mamoru interjected. "I didn't see you at Lake Biwa for the Birdman competition. Though not many of the girls came to support Hideri or Knuckles."

Mirai gave him an irate look before turning back to Aoi. "You didn't miss much. Kosen's team barely made it into the top five. Our engineering faculty easily beat them." After a short think, she put forward her guess. "Results came out around that time. You never talked about it."

"I'm glad all our grades aren't published for everyone to see. I hated that about high school."

There was a brief sputter from Mamoru before he strung together his question. "You didn't fail, did you?"

Aoi simply shook her head.

A smile came across his face as he finally eased fully back into his chair. "That's a relief. After seeing you annotate all over your books, there's no way you'd do badly."

"Thanks…"

Was it vanity to enjoy a compliment like that? Similar things had been said in high school, but they all sounded so hollow until now. Maybe it was who it was coming from matter. Despite his more juvenile tendencies, Mamoru was still a Kyodai student. What an embarrassing sense of elitism.

"But you didn't do as well as you wanted to," Mirai said, softening her tone.

"Barely scored above eighty." Aoi mumbled.

"That's pretty good?" Mamoru said. "That's still at least an A for that semester."

Aoi twitched as she drew in a shallow breath. "I used to be in the top ten at Kitauji. And I hated that place."

"I mean…" Mamoru scratched his head. "This is Kyoto University after all."

That was a sharp crack, the back of Mirai's hand connecting with his shoulder. "Of course she knows that you idiot."

"Sorry." He mumbled. "Just that, getting an A at a national university like Kyodai is already a big achievement."

"You're one to talk." Mirai scoffed.

"Let me guess," Aoi's eyes narrowed. "You're one of those people who got an S."

"I got lucky. Everything covered was what I was interested in." Mamoru said with a sheepish smile. "I'm sure it will be better for you in the next semester. I'm going to have a hell of a time choosing Philosophy of Religion."

Aoi turned to Mirai. "And you?"

She could only offer up a shrug. "Same."

The sounds of their surroundings came back into focus, the chattering from other tables and the cars on the nearby road betraying the silence that hung between them. The condensation from their drinks had pooled onto the table, and the melted ice completely diluted their still half-full cups. Talking to Aoi was wasting their time and money.

A pit opened in her stomach, dragging down the rest of her insides. Did everyone do well except her? Asuka definitely did. Her name was on the list of next term's academic awards recipients. There was always asking Kyouko, though it would be terrible to seek solace in someone else potentially doing worse.

"You know," Mirai started. "I'd be lying if I said we aren't concerned about our grades. It's how all of us got into Kyodai at all. I just never thought you'd be that hung up about it. You're so much more understanding when it comes to the band."

Aoi perked up. "Huh?"

"If you really were just concerned about results, you'd see the band as a complete waste of time." Mirai stirred the remains of her coffee, pondering for a moment before she spoke. "Then again, maybe I should have been more observant. I thought you were reluctant to step up and lead the band because of the drama that happened in Kitauji. It was really about having enough time to study, wasn't it?"

"A little of both…." Aoi sighed. "No, you're right. I never wanted to be at Kitauji. This is the first time in years I've aimed for something and actually achieved it. I don't want to start failing again."

Mamoru nodded along. "I get it. Ryuusei is an escalator school. I'd be crushed if I didn't make it to our high school division. Going there is treated as a given."

"Then you know getting just an A isn't good enough."

"It's a little early to worry about the final GPA on our degree. Unless there's a job your already eyeing?"

She shook her head again. "I have no idea what I want to do. But higher grades are always better."

"Aren't there things that are more important?" Mirai asked, "At least in the short term."

"I'm already being indulgent by choosing a literature course." Aoi clasped her hands together, starring down at her squirming fingers instead of the others. "Maybe I'd be better off doing something like economics, even with my atrocious math. I bet Asuka has some big job plans after this. Probably at the bank her mother works at or with the civil service."

"Again, it's always Asuka this or Asuka that. You guys from Kitauji really are all the same when it comes to her." Mirai sighed. "Aoi, I know grades are important to you, but the band is as well. I know it is. I'm not saying you should give up one for the other, but maybe you'll need to accept that you can't be at the top of our cohort. I think you know it's a sacrifice you'll have to make. And one that is worth it."

Mamoru waded in as well. "I'm just an amateur philosopher, and Mirai is training to be a zoologist. As long as you enjoy what you're working on, and are doing reasonably well, then I'd say things are great. Finding a decent job as a Kyodai graduate isn't exactly a struggle either."

"I know… But I'm sure you've heard of what's being planned during autumn, right? Practice is really going to pick up for the Kansai band festival."

Mirai raised an eyebrow. "When was the last time you did any work related to the band?"

"A few weeks ago? Not since our results came out." Aoi shifted around in her seat, realising how long it had been. "I've mostly been studying since then."

"Instrument maintenance is going well," Mamoru said with a smile. "We finally patched up some of the drums in rougher shape."

"Brass section has also gotten some practice in since then. Minus those outside of Kyoto." Mirai added.

"… how?"

"Haruka really didn't want to worry you." Mirai continued. "She's been checking up on everyone now and then."

Aoi rested her head in her left hand. "I should have known. Makes me feel even worse, letting her quietly do all the work." Maybe that was why she was being a little difficult with their house search.

"Haruka knows how much your studies means to you. It's her way of showing her friendship."

"Friendship?" Mamoru's entire seat rocked as he leaned forward. "I thought they were—"

"Shut it." Mirai glared at him, the previously soft expression completely vanishing.

"You thought what." Aoi joined in with her own glare.

"Well…" He began to push his straw in and out of its cup. "I thought you were… you know, more like Tanaka and Nakaseko."

"What?" Were they implying that she and Haruka were…? The slight twitch of her eyes was becoming both pronounced and unbearable, refusing to be reined in.

"Don't take it seriously," Mirai replied drily, swatting Mamoru on the shoulder for good measure. "It's just a fantasy from an all-boys school running wild. But she does care a lot about you. And she knows your one of the few people that enjoys what you study."

A faint smile returned to Aoi's face. "Yeah, it made Kitauji bearable."

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." Mamoru offered. "There are a lot of ways you can love someone or something. I don't think you want to hear a lecture on it, but I'm sure everyone knows how a relationship looks or feels isn't as cut and dry as society make it out to be."

"Well, we weren't sure what Kaori and Asuka were despite seeing them interact for years." Though, the news that they were indeed a couple seemed to have propagated at an incredible speed. Perhaps Kaori finally just told everyone who was curious.

"So… Umm," Mamoru continued. "Are you?"

"Idiot." Mirai groaned.

"What? I'm curious." He raised his palms to his chest. "I've been in an all-boys school for six years. If two guys were this close, it would be undeniable something was going on. There's so much more ambiguity with girls."

Mirai grit her teeth, her hands curling up. "That doesn't mean you can be an ass about it."

"No, he's right." Despite the parasol above their seats, Aoi's face began to warm up. Yet the most vivid sensation was the slight swirling and giddiness as she pondered his question.

Now Mirai shot up from her passive posture. "He's right? The way you guys interact sometimes makes it seem that way, but nothing about it was—"

"No!" Aoi protested. "He's right that it's muddled. Really muddled. That's all."

Perhaps that was an understatement. Finally forced to think about it, blaming other people for assuming too much was impossible. The way she and Haruka looked at each other, the proximity they were in, how cloying and clingy that could become without the guts to say it. But everyone had felt that before, right? Without being in love.

It was faint, but the feelings entangled with Aoi's childhood memories were remarkably similar. That longing to be around someone, becoming the main event they would look forward to at every free moment. How their appearance brightened up entire days, the time spent with them dominating all immediate memories, making even the sourest chores or homework less of a drudge. Memories of Kumiko and Shuichi brought out almost these exact same feelings. And she was definitely not in love with them. Not then and certainly not now with how far apart they had drifted. Maybe it was her desire to be a little bit of a mentor to them that clarified her feelings.

The only real difference was the new desire to be close to Haruka. Physically close. That alone immensely muddied everything. Intuitively, it was the most apparent indicator that their relationship was different. But was desiring something like a hug really romantic? It is impossible to separate physical and emotional affection. Anyone would want a hug from someone they were close to.

"Aoi, if you scrunch up your face any longer, you'll get premature wrinkles." Mirai said.

"Sorry," Aoi lifted her elbows from the table, leaning back into her seat. "I've been brooding for a while, haven't I?"

"At least she's aware of it," Mamoru stood up. "Come on, it's a nice summer day. Results should be out soon."

Mirai came over to Aoi's side, gesturing for her to follow them back to the concourse. "Don't worry too much about it. I've seen this plenty of times with Rikka alumni. It's normal to form close bonds after going through a lot with someone. It'll sort itself out eventually. Your grades and the band as well."

"I hope so."

Based on Asuka and Kaori, Kumiko and Shuichi, even the glimpses she got of the other couples in the band; love really was madness.

Aoi's previous ambivalence to the competition evaporated once she saw the results banner being brought out. There was no pounding in her heart, nor outbreaks of shivers or cold sweat. But she did feel her gut tense up as the officials prepared to reveal the results. It was the first time there was the possibility of disappointment. Even last year, every one of Kitauji's victories had been an unexpected miracle. Now it was unbearable to settle for the worst.

A cheer erupted from Mamoru, followed immediately by Mirai mashing her palm into her face. Aoi rapidly scanned the unfurled banner, but her vision refused to focus, jumping around instead of going through the awards systematically. Although unable to find Ryuusei on the chart, it was evident that they had done fantastically. On the other hand, Rikka, as expected, took gold, though they failed to advance to nationals.

And then there was Kitauji. A grin sprang to Aoi's face as she saw gold written next to her alma mater, only to be smashed away as she saw they were missing the all-important mark next to it. A dud? Despite a mesmerising performance?

Amidst the cacophony of cheers and sobs, a group of students limped away back into the building. Aoi recognised none of their faces, but their white and blue summer uniform was distinctly Kitauji's.

"Sanada-senpai!" A group of boys clad in dark teal gakurans burst past the defeated Kitauji students. "We did it!"

Mamoru's juniors steadily began to congregate around him, arms all linked over each other's shoulders. A remarkable number of them were bespectacled, their glasses coming loose from their unbroken smiles and excited jumping.

"Too bad you're not a year younger, right, senpai!" One of the grinning boys said.

Before he could reply, another one of his juniors butted in. "University is still better, isn't it? Which one is your girlfriend?"

"Neither!" His voice struggled to match the uproar coming from his juniors. Despite the nervous flicker of his eyes between them and Mirai's irate expression, the broad smile on his face did him no favours. "She's not here today. Really!"

"He really shouldn't have told them about Kiriko. But that's someone from an all-boys school for you." Mirai sighed. "I'll give him a good scolding for both of us. Your phone is going crazy. Don't you have somewhere more important to be right now?"

As Aoi unlocked her phone, a tidal wave of messages appeared. Haruka was demanding her presence for an emergency. What was transpiring was obvious, but could she do anything about it? It was surprising that her company was even wanted.

"Are you sure?" Aoi croaked, her throat having gone dry. "What about Rikka? They didn't advance either."

"They'll be fine. We're aiming for the marching band nationals." Mirai closed in and gave her a gentle shove. "Now go. And stop pretending like you don't care about Kitauji."

Even with her terribly vague messages, finding Haruka was easy. Aoi merely followed the wailing that echoed from the hallways leading backstage. Thankfully, it was not Haruka that was bawling this time.

"Yuuko. Come on, the band needs us right now." Natsuki's voice was remarkably calm. "Please? You can't stay on the floor like this."

"No! I can't! I won't!"

Aoi rounded the corner in time to see a red-faced Yuuko sprawled against the wall on her knees. Kaori and Asuka were still nowhere to be seen, the only other person present being Haruka.

"You're finally here," Haruka gasped. "I-I don't know what to do."

"Aoi-senpai?" Natsuki remained squatted down, gently rubbing Yuuko's back. She still appeared as stoic as Aoi remembered, but there was also an apparent redness in her eyes. "It's been a while. Sorry you have to see us like this."

"Is Yuuko going to be okay?"

"Yeah. Once she lets it all out." Natsuki was barely convincing, her own voice cracking up in places.

"Natsuki!" Even Nozomi had arrived. "Everyone is looking for you guys."

Bringing her knees to her chest, Yuuko finally curled up in a bid to ignore everyone else. The hardest part was hearing the anger behind it all, some sobs almost turning into growls. Her mixture of frustration and resignation steadily becoming more potent. It made tears filled with just sorrow feel mild in comparison.

"Give her some time," Natsuki replied, lowering herself to the ground beside Yuuko.

Haruka did the same, each of them clasping onto one of Yuuko's hands. Somehow Natsuki still managed a brave face, but her gaze remained blankly trained on the wall opposite them. Haruka looked far worse, constantly turning to check on Yuuko in the hopes that things had changed. Maybe it was her empathy for the newer president, or perhaps even a sense of guilt, having selected her to bear the same burden she once did.

"Nozomi-chan," Aoi decided to give the sulking trio some space, moving closer to Nozomi out in the hallway. "Are you alright?"

"I'm disappointed we got a dud gold. But we tried our best."

Aoi had been expecting the bitter tone she used when she handed in her resignation two years ago. Her cheery voice only added to the dissonance created by her smile, bright yet somehow not disguising any of her sadness. "Really? How's your section doing?"

"The first years are taking it really hard. But it'll pass. There's always next year."

"You don't have next…."

"I know," Nozomi swiped her fringe aside. "I'm glad to see you here again, Aoi-senpai."

Maybe it was the combination of Haruka and Yuuko's emotions infecting everyone around them. Or perhaps she was just too exhausted to handle a third conversation on the same day. The giddiness morphed into a dull throb as her mind refused to stop dredging up old memories. They were never going to nationals. Today was the last chance for a batch that had been through so much to finally get what they wanted. What they always deserved.

"But it's my fault."

"Aoi-senpai, I haven't seen you for more than a year." Nozomi paused to scan her expression. "I suppose there's no point trying to chat casually today with what happened."

Aoi forcefully shook her head. "You always wanted to play at nationals. It's my fault that you weren't a part of it last year. I wasn't even around to help you with Asuka when you wanted to rejoin."

"Senpai," Nozomi's smile broadened, the sadness mixed into it from their loss vanishing. "Thank you for trying. I'm glad I finally get to say it to you in person."

"But it didn't change anything."

A slight sheen coated Nozomi's eyes. "I didn't appreciate what you did at the time. And I didn't listen to Asuka-senpai. She was right, and you, Ogasawara-senpai and Nakaseko-senpai were all trying your best."

"If we had been better—"

"Our seniors would never have changed. I should have waited them out like what Asuka-senpai hinted at. She expected me to see what you were doing and realise that next year would be different. Even if Taki-sensei never joined us."

"Maybe we shouldn't have tried to meet the seniors halfway at all. They ignored you just because you were younger. At the very least, they should have let us change our goal from that outright lie."

"I still learnt a lot from it."

"Wouldn't you prefer it never happened?"

Nozomi grinned and gave her a short shrug. "Probably. But it did."

How was she so at peace with it? The Nozomi she remembered had been moved to tears arguing with their seniors. She was even fiery enough to deflect their insults, forcing them to either attempt to answer or outright ignore her.

"You were so inspired by competing at nationals."

"I thought nationals was all that mattered." Nozomi let out a short laugh. "I hated that Minami never made it when I was president. It made me instantly loath our lazy seniors. But after everything, I realised I never appreciated just playing with people who cared."

"So today was…."

Nozomi vigorously nodded. "It was great to see everyone try their best. I would have been happier if we were going to nationals, but just my kouhais being so invested was enough. In the end, they're the ones who made it fun to just sit around during breaks, talking and sharing snacks."

"Yeah, it is." The thumping in the back of Aoi's head began to fade. "Band would be more fun if we just performed instead of competing."

"You sound like Mizore." Nozomi was now brimming. "Aoi-senpai, now that the competition is over, I want to know what university you went to. Is it the same one as Ogasawara-senpai? That's why you all are still close, right?"

Always the optimist, thinking about the next big step she would take in life. "Haruka and Kaori are in different schools. I go to Kyoto University with Asu—"

Speak of the devil. "I leave you guys alone for less than an hour, and everyone starts crying."

"Asuka-senpai!" Nozomi spun around to greet her.

"Yo," Asuka shot back a playful wink. "Don't worry, I'll fix this. Or at least I know someone that can."

Her black dress was flowing as she gingerly stepped to the side. It made way for Kaori in her identical white dress to approach the trio still seated on the floor.

"Yuuko-chan?" Even though only direct at her, Kaori's voice was still soothing for everyone present. "You shouldn't be sitting on the floor like that."

The sobs and snot made it hard to understand her words. Leaning in, Yuuko turned out to be muttering a mixture of apologies and Kaori's name.

"Yuuko," Kaori continued. "Thank you for your hard work."

"It's not good enough," Head buried in her knees, her voice remained muffled.

"Oi, Yuuko." Natsuki prodded her side.

"Oww! Natsuki!" Yuuko shot up, revealing a reddened and now enraged face. "Of all times? Now you want to be such a pain? Kaori-senpai is here."

"Exactly," Natsuki wore a smug smile. "Can't have you embarrassing yourself by blubbering away."

"You…" Yuuko growled.

While completely insensitive, Natsuki's tactic was remarkably effective at changing Yuuko's mood. Not unlike something a certain other euphonist would do.

"Yuuko-chan," Kaori started. "Your best is good enough for us. Sometimes there are just stronger competitors out there."

"But—we promised you." Yuuko bit down on her trembling lower lip.

Kaori simply nodded along with a smile, taking the time to readjust her ribbon so that it sat neatly on the top of her head again.

"Your audition!"

"You don't need to make up for that. And missing nationals doesn't mean that it was all for nothing."

"I do." Yuuko turned away, wiping away a fresh wave of tears. "You made it worthwhile staying in the band. You took so much time to talk to me so that I wouldn't quit that year."

Nozomi began to slowly nod. "Oh, that makes a lot of sense now."

"Quiet," Asuka commanded. "Aoi, you also pay attention. Maybe you'll learn how to deal with people better."

Aoi stifled a groan, forcing her expression to remain pliant as they watched the two interact.

Pushing through some stuttering, Yuuko managed to continue. "Last year, you couldn't play the solo in front of the whole country. And now we won't even get the chance because of me."

"Have you forgiven Kousaka-chan?"

"… I have."

"Liar," Natsuki interjected, finally standing up as well. "Being 'professional' isn't the same thing."

"Shut up." Yuuko turned back to Kaori. "I'm trying to do my job as the president. That's all."

"Kousaka-chan never did anything wrong," Kaori said.

"She did! It was your last chance to get the attention you deserve. For everyone to see how talented you are. Kousaka had another chance this year. She still has another one after this. Why should they let someone like her play all because she started music younger? She's not warm and sweet like you…."

Kaori rested her hand on Yuuko's head as her ragged breathing steadily recovered. "You don't really mean that."

Finally looking up with beady eyes, Yuuko latched onto Kaori before burying herself in her dress. Even as her junior's nails dug into her skin, she continued to gently stroke her hair with an unfading smile. Kaori really was the angel everyone made her out to be.

"I know it seems like it now," Kaori continued, "but there is always another chance. It's never the end."

"Really? You're not just saying that because you moved on from concert band, right?"

Kaori shook her head before stealing a brief glance at Asuka. "I already got another chance to play."

"You didn't invite us?" Yuuko perked up fully.

"Yuuko," Natsuki chided. "You're going to leave a mark."

The ribbon-clad girl recoiled, flinging her arms away from her idol. "Senpai! Sorry!" There were obvious signs of where her nails had been on Kaori's upper arms. "Your skin, I ruined it."

"It's okay," Kaori gestured for everyone else to join them. "I'll invite you next time. All of you."

"Eh?" Nozomi said. "You guys are still in an ensemble together? Even though you're in different schools?"

"I guess we never told you guys," Aoi replied. "It's not a big deal. We just threw it together on a whim."

"Wow!" There was a fresh bounce in Nozomi's step as she moved next to the others from her batch. "Will you come to play at Kitauji? You have to. The cultural festival is coming up."

"One day," Haruka mumbled. "Don't go telling everyone just yet. We're not quite ready."

"Think of how many more people we could get to join if we had an alumni performance." Yuuko mused.

"See," Kaori said. "It's not over yet. There's always next year for Kitauji and for you."

"I understand."

Kaori gave her one final pat on the head. "The rest of the band needs you now. I'm only a call away for you at any time."

Straightening her back and clenching her fist, Yuuko gave her a determined nod. "Thank you, Senpai." With Natsuki and Nozomi in tow, she began her march towards the exit.

Even as the distance grew, they could still hear an excited Nozomi. "They're still doing things together even though they're from different schools."

Natsuki threw her arms behind her head. "We're already applying to the same university."

"She's thinking of Mizore," Yuuko said as they steadily left earshot. "We can't be in a band with her since she's in music school, but there's always something we can come up with."

"You can join me; I'm thinking of trying light music…."

With their juniors all settled, Aoi found that even Asuka wore a faint smile. They wordlessly strolled back out into the concourse, finding the grounds of the concert hall now washed in the amber of the setting sun. On the other side of the small plaza, the Kitauji concert band gathered for an address from their fired-up president.

"Will Yuuko-chan be okay?" Haruka asked. "I'm worried she's just putting up a brave face."

Kaori smiled. "She will be. Even though she wears her heart on her sleeve, it's a strong heart."

Asuka coyly waved her hand. "I bet she'll call you later today. With how often Yuuko does that, I should be more suspicious about what you guys talk about."

"I'm lucky you're not the jealous type then." Kaori wrapped her arm around Asuka's.

As they began their journey back to the station, Asuka and Kaori broke away in a different direction, returning to their fabled apartment. Even though they were promised a tour of their new house, Aoi was seriously debating if she actually wanted to find out more about where they lived.

"Hey, Aoi," Haruka said as they boarded the train again. "I didn't hear much of your conversation with Nozomi. But she seems to be doing well."

Aoi nodded. "She made some great memories with her kouhais."

Haruka leaned over and squeezed her hand. "See, it's not all bad."

There had been days where she took multiple exams or needed to practice the saxophone non-stop. But today felt far longer even though Aoi was meant to be a mere observer. Maybe it was sheer fatigue, but the ride back home was strangely peaceful. All the bad memories of the past and anxiety about the future momentarily lying at rest.

With the Kansai competition now over, perhaps it was finally time to meet up with Kumiko again.