"I don't think I've been this tired in my life," Meredith sighed as she sat down next to Cristina on the bench in front of the hospital.
"You get use to it," Cristina said with a yawn. They were thirty hours into their forty-eight hour shift. She wanted to nap so badly but she had to stay alert in case anything else happened with Katie.
"Do you have any idea what could be wrong with my girl?" Meredith asked. She had briefly talked about the case with Cristina in the little she had seen her.
"Check for an aneurysm?" Cristina asked.
"Yeah, clear scans and labs. It's a complete mystery. What if this girl is stuck like this forever?" Meredith sighed as she sipped on the coffee in her hands.
"Go over it again," Cristina said.
"16 year old female, grand mal seizures onset after a fall in some kind of jazzy gymnastics. Labs clear, scans clear," Meredith said.
"A fall? Any other symptoms?" She asked.
"No. Nothing,"
"You sure it isn't an aneurysm?" Cristina furrowed her brows.
"Like I said, the scans were clear. The chances of a CT and MRI missing an aneurysm is so small," Meredith shook her head.
"But there's a chance," Cristina raised her brows.
"Like one in a million," Meredith scoffed.
"Get Shepherd to run an angiogram. That is the only way to tell if an aneurysm was missing," Cristina said.
"I will. Only for my patient," Meredith said with an eye roll.
"You ever going to tell me what's the deal?" Cristina said.
"It was in the past and I've moved on," Meredith said as she shook her head. Cristina just looked at her with a curious look on her face. Meredith heard a little girl squeal and giggle, she looked up just in time to see the beautiful little girl jump into a familiar face's arms.
"Daddy," she said happily, her hair hung in dark curls, she looked like him. A lot like him.
"He has a kid?" Meredith said with a gulp. A lump formed in her throat just thinking about it.
"Yeah, she's like eight," Cristina said. Meredith kept watching him with her, the way his face completely lit up while he was talking to her made her stomach turn. She suddenly felt this deafening urge to vomit. She couldn't tell if she was upset or just overwhelmed knowing he had a child. He had a child that wasn't hers. It brought her back to a wicked memory that she had managed to bury deep inside her to forget.
Waking up with a hangover had become an everyday thing. She looked at the man beside her, his darker complexion was bright as the sun peaked through the windows. Her stomach did flips as she felt the burning in her throat. She quickly jumped up and ran to the bathroom, just in time to spew the leftover alcohol in her stomach empty. She felt awful, worse than she had ever felt. She doesn't even remember drinking that much last night.
She had been in Europe for three months, already made her way around Spain and landed herself in France. She didn't have a plan, but she knew it was almost time to move on to the next country. She woke the man, he didn't speak much English so the conversation was just small. She told him to leave and that was that. She felt a pain rumble through her stomach again, she didn't know what was wrong. The pain was unbearable, something she hadn't felt before.
"Are you ok?" The man said to her just before leaving the room. She just nodded and he finally left. She had lied, her whole body was shaking from the intense pain she felt in her stomach. She was scared, in a foreign country and she felt like she couldn't walk.
She had somehow managed to make her way to the hotel lobby, she knew only a small amount of French.
"Hospital?" She asked the clerk and he kind of just looked at her, his head cocked to the side. She sighed and whined as another pain shot through her. She looked around, a few other guest standing around.
"Anglais?" She asked. He shook his head.
"I maybe help," a man said from behind her. His French accent so thick you could barely understand.
"Pain, I'm in pain. Ask him if there is a hospital nearby," she groaned. He looked at her and looked back at the man, speaking fluently in French. The man replied, nodding his head.
"He said he call," the man replied.
"Thank you," she said to him and let out a breath. She doesn't remember much from then on, other than waking up in a hospital room and hearing people speak in French.
"You're awake," the man said. He looked like a doctor, he didn't have the thick accent that she had heard from others but he definitely spoke fluently in English and French.
"What's wrong," she said groggily.
"You were extremely dehydrated and passed out in the ambulance. Ma'am, do you know when your last menstral cycle was?" He asked as he looked at the papers in his hand. She thought for a second, her stomach began to turn again as she thought.
"I- uh I don't remember," she said with a sinking in her heart.
"Your HCG levels are through the roof, it looks like you are pregnant. We are going to bring you for an ultrasound if you don't mind. Is there anyone you want us to call?" he said and she felt like her whole world was completely crashing down.
"I can't be, I always use protection and I have been drinking. A lot. I don't have anyone," she stuttered, she doesn't remember a night she hadn't drank since she was in Europe.
"Ok," he just nodded. A few nurses came in and wheeled her to a room. She looked around, she couldn't help the tears from falling as she felt so distraught. She waited and the man came in, he was speaking in French. She just looked at him, unable to process what he was saying.
"Ma'am, do you speak French?" He asked. She just shook her head, unable to speak. He just nodded and began the process. She was even more speechless when the image came on the the screen. She burst into tears when she saw what was inside her.
"Here's the baby," he said as he moved it around, showing her the tiny hands and feet.
"How far along," she croaked between the tears.
"I'd say about 21 weeks," he said as he continued to roll the transducer around her stomach. She could only think of one thing, Derek. This was his baby. Her tears got worse as he played the heartbeat over the machine.
"Would you like to know the sex?" He asked.
"Yes," she nodded, her heart was shattered into pieces. She had no idea what she was going to do.
"It's a girl," he said and she froze. She wasn't sure what to do next. It was like her whole world was flipped on its axis and she wasn't sure what to do next.
"I gotta go," Meredith said as she held back tears before hurrying back into the building. She ran into the bathroom closest to the exit and felt her whole body shake as the tears streamed down her cheeks. She had never told anyone about her baby, not Cristina or her mother. Not even Derek. She didn't have much of a chance. She felt like no one needed to know, it was in the past. Seeing him with his daughter just shattered her world, knowing her baby would be just a little older than his broke her heart entirely. Just then, the door opened and a woman walked in.
"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't know anyone was in here," she looked as if she had been crying also. She had light blue scrubs on, looked like an intern.
"It's you," Meredith mumbled as she looked at the woman standing in front of her. She'd know her face anywhere. She looked so much like her mother.
"I'm sorry?" She said as she wiped her own tears.
"Lexie?" Meredith said.
"Are you an intern too?" She said with confusion.
"Yeah, I uh," Meredith just shook her head.
"I guess that's why you look familiar," Lexie said.
"That's not why. God today just can't get any better," Meredith shook her head.
"I'm lost, why are you being such an ass? Like I haven't had a rough day too," Lexie scoffed.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I'm Meredith, Meredith Grey," Meredith said to her and her slight smile dropped.
"Oh my god," Lexie scoffed.
"Wow, yeah. Glad we are on the same page," Meredith shook her head.
"I didn't know you were a doctor, I mean dad said your mom was so I should have known. Are you suppose to be a resident by now?" Lexie asked.
"Long story. But look I don't really have the energy to have this kind of conversation. Today has been shitty and I just want this day to be over," Meredith said.
"You think your day is bad? I accidentally slept with my boss," Lexie croaked.
"That's nothing," Meredith chuckled at the irony of the situation.
"It wasn't just a resident. I slept with an attending. My career is over," Lexie groaned. Meredith's eyes widened and she felt a twist in her stomach. The first thing her mind went to was Derek.
"Which one?" Meredith said.
"Mark Sloan. I didn't know he was my boss, it happened last night. God I'm an idiot. I never do that, just sleep with random people. He was just so charming," Lexie said.
"You're fine, just get back to work before we both get in trouble," Meredith said before leaving. She almost crashed into Derek as she exited.
"Sorry," she said and she froze. She looked at him then looked to the tiny hand attached to his.
"Meredith," he breathed as he looked at her.
"Who is that daddy?" The girl said to him.
"I'm just one of your daddy's coworkers," Meredith said to the young girl.
"Oh, hi I'm Grace!" The girl said happily. Meredith froze, hearing her name. It was so familiar, and she remembered exactly why it was. Her heart sank, the realization coming to light.
"Nice to meet you Grace. Dr. Shepherd, I was looking for you. I think Katie needs an angiogram," Meredith sputtered. She wasn't sure what to say.
"Why?" He said, "Gracie, go see uncle Mark and sit with him until Ms. Jones gets here to pick you up."
"Ok. Love you daddy," she leaned up as he leaned down and hugged her before she was off to the man standing a few feet behind. Meredith couldn't help but laugh.
"What's funny?" Derek said.
"Irony and Karma, I didn't know you had a brother," Meredith just shook her head. Her half sister had slept with Derek's brother.
"Not my birth brother. I told you about Mark before," Derek said.
"Oh yeah. Whatever I'm not talking about our personal lives. I think Katie has an aneurysm," Meredith said as she followed Derek to the elevator.
"Wouldn't it show up on the CT?" He asked.
"Not if it was so small that we couldn't see it."
"An angiogram is so expensive. It would have been in the CT. Try something else," he shook his head at her.
"She had a fall. A few weeks ago, she was practicing her gymnastics and had fell, sprain her ankle," Meredith said again.
"There's like a one in a million chance that it is an aneurysm," he shook his head. Meredith sighed, shaking her head. She had a gut feeling, but she wasn't able to make that call.
"Come on," he said as he ushered her out.
"Where are we going?" She asked as she followed him.
"Finding out of Katie is one in a million," he smirked as he went to her room. He explained to her parents the situation and immediately took her for the test. She blabbed their ears off as they were doing the test.
"She's a real talker," Derek chuckled to Meredith's ear. Meredith couldn't help but laugh and nod.
"Well I'll be damned," he said as he looked at the results.
"It's an aneurysm?" Meredith said.
"It is. I'll schedule her surgery. Good find Grey, you can scrub in," he smiled at her before walking off. She was dumbfounded. He was going to let her scrub in on a surgery on her first day. She almost felt like it was favoritism.
"But Dr. Shepherd!" She said as she followed him.
"Yes Dr. Grey?" He said to her in a deceiving tone.
"I don't feel it's fair, I'm only an intern and it's my first day," she started.
"So you're saying you don't want in on the surgery?" He asked.
"Well no- I mean that I don't think that our past should reflect how you treat me."
"Are you accusing me of asking you to get in on my surgery just to win brownie points?"
"I'm not sure what the right answer is," she mumbled.
"Listen, I'm not forcing you to do anything you don't want to do. You earned it, you found a diagnosis so it's only fair you get to scrub in," he replied, "unless you don't feel comfortable because you aren't over me."
"No, I'm definitely over my little teenage crush. I'll see you in the OR Dr. Shepherd," she smirked before whisking off. She was starving and needed to eat before the surgery. She was more nervous than she had ever felt in her life. Her first actual surgery. She probably wouldn't do more than hold a few instruments but she was going to be right there with the lead surgeon.