Disclaimer: See Chapter One. Short version, if you recognize it from someplace else, it's not mine.
"To think, the boys start their boarding schools in the fall," Barbara Gordon said from the post-coital tangle of limbs and naked bodies on the giant bed. "It seems like it was just last week that you kidnapped me to babysit, and now the boys are turning eleven. Ever think about going back to Gotham when the kids are gone to Hogwarts and Smeltings?"
Harley thought for a moment as her fingers stroked the green skin of her girlfriend-wife-husband. Since magic masked them as Petunia and Vernon Dursley, they were legally married, but they couldn't get married as Pamela and Harley because no legal authority in the U.K. could recognize them as themselves. In their hearts, though, they were married. It would have to be enough until Harry turned seventeen and the protections would likely break.
"If we can resolve any outstanding warrants, perhaps," Pamela spoke with a shiver in her voice. Harley knew the exact right spots to touch her. She gave the breast in her right hand a gentle squeeze, which caused Barbara to take a sharp excited breath. "It's been a decade since we've been there, but I think the statute of limitation hasn't passed for all our crimes."
"The city hasn't changed much," Zatanna shrugged from her position next to Harley's rock hard ass. "Which criminal owns what area changes every few months, but things have been relatively stable since the Joker actually died last year."
"He's died before," Harley remarked, and not for the first time she didn't miss the man who had defined her for so much of her life. Her current 'normal' life with Pamela, Harry, and Dudley had been theraputic as fuck in that regard. That Barbara and/or Zatanna occasionally joined them in bed when they visited, if the circumstance and mood was right, was a fun addition to their already thriving sex life. "He'll show up again, especially if I go back there. I can't get rid of him."
"My contacts in the Wizarding community here in England say they usually send Hogwarts letters out this week," Zatanna redirected the conversation towards something happier. "Do you want me to meet up with you in Diagon Alley to buy his things?"
"After the ruckus you caused when you took us there the first time?" Harley smirked before giving the magician's inner thigh a soft bite, eliciting an 'eep'. "Hard pass. Harry doesn't want the extra attention your fishnets would bring."
"That entire situation was not my fault," Zatanna insisted before giving her own retaliatory bite to Harley's thigh, which set off a pleasurable chain reaction for all four of them.
Twenty minutes and several orgasms for everyone later, complete with the need for Zatanna to magically clean the bedsheets, they continued their conversation more exhausted than they began.
"Do you think he will be ready for that life, at Hogwarts with other witches and wizards, and all that fame he's going to get?" Pamela asked out loud the question that each of them had thought about over the last month, though she was slightly muffled due to someone's chest smothering her face.
"Between all the training Momma Harley, Mama Pammy, Auntie Babs, and Sensei 'Tana has given those kiddos, I'd be more worried about if Hogwarts will be ready for him. Harry will be the King of Hogwarts as surely as Dudley will rule Smeltings," Barbara assured. "I just wish we could track down the bastards who killed his parents and throw them in jail."
"Frank could use a good meal," Pamela added with a smirk in her voice. "Mrs. Figg's cats just aren't filling him up anymore. They seem to avoid our yard now. It only took nine years for them to wise up."
"Jail is better," Zatanna insisted. "We can't interrogate a corpse to find co-conspirators."
"Between interrogation and jail, a lot of accidents can happen," Harley threw out.
"Bad Harley, no falling off the wagon, even if they deserve it," Barbara scolded, flicking Harley's nipple to emphasize her point.
"Oww," Harley complained playfully. "I am a little nervous about sending him to a school with Dumbledore in charge."
"He has less freedom to manipulate things in the school than out of the school because of his magical contract with the School Board. Since his one and only visit to you, my contacts say he's backed down on contacting Harry. He has, however, tried to transfer guardianship away from you two, but Harry's protective magic has foiled him at every turn," Zatanna explained. "As much as it pains me to recommend sending Harry closer to Dumbledore, Hogwarts is one of the best schools out there to learn his type of magic."
The sound of feet running down the hallway reverberated through the locked bedroom door, halting that topic of conversation.
"Looks like they are up. We better get ready for Dudley's birthday," Pamela insisted, slapping the buttcheek she had been massaging hard enough to make a cracking noise and leave a mark. Whose ass, she wasn't quite sure since her face was still firmly encased by cleavage. As the mass of bodies began to detangle, she saw they belonged to Zatanna. "I'll do anything you want to whoever can keep the boys out of the fucking reptile house at the zoo today. I swear all we do is go straight there and straight back home. I actually want to see the hippos this time and not listen to Harry hiss at the snakes all day."
"Challenge accepted," Harley and Barbara said at the exact same time, eliciting a laugh from Zatanna.
"Dibs on cooking the bacon," Zatanna chortled.
"So, since Harry is the one who got everyone kicked out of the Reptile house by setting a python loose on the zoo, does he win your challenge?" Harley asked Pamela as they rode home. Barbara and Zatanna had gotten calls from the Justice League right after they entered the zoo, so they missed the splendor of a stampede of zoo-goers fleeing from the large freed serpent.
"Totally not my fault," Harry whined. "She was just so lonely."
"And your real reason?" Pamela pushed with a look only a mother could master, ignoring the original question her wife asked.
"Piers was being a little bastard, he deserved being scared," Harry admitted.
"Language," Harley warned.
"Sorry. Piers was being a little fuckwad," Harry corrected.
"Better," Harley smiled while Pamela face-palmed. "You gotta make sure your swearing is accurate and situationally appropriate, otherwise you'll just come off as disingenuous. After all, Piers' parents are married."
"Mama Pammy, who's Dumbledore?" Dudley asked suddenly. The car got silent while his parents recovered from their shock at that name.
"Where did you hear that name?" Pamela asked as gently as she could given the volcano of rage coursing through Harley and her. They hadn't forgotten or forgiven his violent intrusion into their lives, but at the same time they knew they couldn't ignore the old fucker.
"When the snake was chasing Piers around, a lady appeared out of nowhere. She muttered that Dumbledore would want to take Harry away from us since he was doing so much accidental magic."
The reinforced suburban they drove launched several trash cans into the air as Harley's hands on the steering wheel shook in anger. Pamela laid a hand across her arm, and the vehicle returned to the pavement.
"Dumbledore is an important and powerful man in the wizarding world, Dudley," Pamela explained. "He's the one who brought Harry to us after his parents died. He's also secretive, manipulative, and well protected, and the headmaster of the school Harry will be attending when you go to Smeltings. He also thinks Harry would be better off with a different family, but we're not going to let that happen, ever."
"I don't want another family," Harry bit out with all the ferocity he could muster, considering that he was a nearly eleven year old who was trained by Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy.
"We'll always be your family, Harry," Harley reassured, before turning to Pamela. "I think it's time for Harry and Dudley to learn how to put together their own crew, for when they are on their own at school."
"We already have a crew," Dudley argued. "I have Harry and Morgan and Jacob."
"You have friends, and family, and allies," Harley clarified. "But they are different from a crew. They can overlap, but building a crew requires planning and taking into account a wide range of skill sets. Sometimes your best friend isn't a right fit for your crew."
"Tell you what," Pamela interrupted. "We'll pick up the sushi rolls for dinner, eat at home, Dudley can pick what movie we watch, and tomorrow morning both of us will teach you everything you need to know about putting together a crew."
"I didn't know you were an expert. How many crews of your own did you put together?" Harley teased Pamela.
"You included Dr. Psycho in yours," Pamela shot back.
"Touche," Harley shrugged. "On to sushi."