"It's you."
Levi's heart skipped a beat at the shy, familiar voice he had not heard in too long and yet had missed dearly. His thoughts would often drift to one of the few regrets concerning the sentimental part of his life, especially as time went on and everyone else but him seemed to move on. Seeing the kids find love and settle down brought on joy but also sorrow, a bleak reminder of the future never meant for him. There were endless words that he could never tell her, countless letters he had destroyed over the years, all because of his fear of rejection. Skeptical that his old mind was playing tricks on him, Levi mustered his courage to confirm his old flame had come back into his life.
"You're back."
Unlike him, the years had been kind to her. Wrinkles and old scars marred his skin, and here was Petra, sitting in front of him, as beautiful as the first time he had laid his eyes on her. A young girl, radiating light, with a faint blush on her cheeks, declaring her devotion to setting the people free. All Levi could manage was a mere nod, but his lack of social skills had never discouraged Petra. She knew her Captain... her former Captain never had a way with words.
"I can't believe it's you, after all this time!"
A thousand questions were flooding his mind, and even though he had missed her, all Levi could do was nod at her. But luckily for him, Petra seemed unbothered by his lack of response. Or his apparent lack of enthusiasm to see an old friend again. Levi had always felt guilty for not keeping in contact with her over the years, but he had fairly good reasons for it. He hoped if it ever came up, Petra would think the same.
"Wait, are you moving in?"
Petra had been far too stunned by the sudden encounter that she failed to take in her surroundings. She could feel her cheeks redden from the embarrassment of not realizing what the few packed boxes and his suitcase were for. He must think I'm still so silly, Petra thought to herself. When she was still his subordinate, her far from platonic feelings for her Captain consistently interfered with her ability to have an uneventful conversation with him. She always got lost in her thoughts or stuttered whenever it was just the two of them. Unbeknown to her, Levi had never noticed how agitated Petra was around him.
"Mhm."
Petra tried her best to contain her excitement at hearing the news, as the last thing she wished for was to scare Levi from her yet again. While she tried to focus on her future and not dwell on the past, the unpleasant questions still made their way into her mind from time to time. Why he had never come see her after they discharged her, why he had never written her a letter. When she had heard the news of the war ending, she had practically waited weeks by the mailbox for a letter that never arrived. But for the sake of her family, she had to give up on Levi and the love she would always carry for him. But fate had finally been kind to her, to reunite her with her love once more.
"I'll let you get settled in, and maybe we could have lunch together after?" "Wait, you live here?"
The last place he expected to find Petra in was a retirement home, but he was more than pleasantly surprised to find out they would live side by side again. After years of working together, the first few weeks without her had been agony. He missed her tea, her humming songs each time she prepared it, their long nights spent working on the reports he frequently failed to deliver on time. He wished they could have healed together, but his absence from her life was for the better. He heard Petra had flourished after leaving the military life behind.
"Mhm, I'll tell you all about it at lunch!"
Before he could ask her another question, Petra strolled away, leaving a trail of her flowery perfume behind. While he was sure of his decision to start anew here, Levi had been nervous he would not fit in. His cleaning requirements often bothered anyone living with him, not to mention that insomnia that never left him. But with Petra here, he had nothing to worry about.
Thankfully, the room they had prepared for him was cleaner than he had expected. Less than a day of scrubbing the place, he had estimated. And if he got Petra to help, they would do it in no time. She had been the only one who could clean up to his standards, and he missed her dearly for it. She could have given the brats a good lesson on it.
Levi was grateful for the big windows facing the forest near the house, as he could never get enough of the beauty of nature once he got out of the Underground. He wondered if Petra had any involvement in his luck and if her running off was in any way connected to the sudden decision of the staff to prepare another room for him. Either way, he was thankful he could spend his restless nights watching out the window.
Unpacking his belongings was easy enough, as he never carried much with him. Only clothes, his former uniform and ODM gear, and a few trinkets to remind him of everyone he had lost over the years. His mother's handkerchief, the pocket watch he got off Kenny once he passed away, the teacup he had received from his first squad and the teapot to go with it that the second one had given him, a bottle of perfume from Mike, Erwin's cape, and a book Hange added the title "Science for Dummies" on. Levi had never been one to care about objects, but he could never find it in himself to get rid of the only things he had left of them.
After fixing his cravat in the mirror and making himself look more presentable for her, Levi ventured to find the mess hall and hopefully get a word out in front of Petra. He had so many questions for her, and he wanted to hear everything about how her life had been since she had left them. She looked good, at least. Beautiful.
A feeling of déjà vu hit him the second he got into the room, and curious eyes were all over him. No doubt they had heard the rumors that Humanity's (former) Stronger Soldier joined them. The same look of curiosity and weariness he remembered seeing on the faces of his former comrades when the mob leader from the Underground was first presented to them. Thankfully for him, Petra sensed his discomfort instantly and waved at him to join her at the table.
"Here, I brought a tray for you as well."
Still mothering me, after all these years. It had been some time since someone cared for him the way Petra had. While Levi loathed new people trying to get close to him, he never found her attention irritating. The responsibility resting on his shoulders was immense, and it was good to be taken care of in even the smallest of ways.
Petra had suddenly gotten shy on him, and after some long minutes of eating their meals in silence, Levi took initiative. But his choice of words had nearly made Petra choke on her food.
"You look almost the same. You look good."
She had never expected the first words coming out of Levi's mouth after all those years would be a compliment. While they had a close relationship when she was working under him, he had never been so open to her. Her love for him was true, but she had no expectations of romance or of Levi even noticing her physical appearance. His words brought her joy, but they also made her self- conscious. She took care of herself, of course, but even so, she was not in her twenties anymore. Her skin was wrinkled, her roots were white, and the fight that almost claimed her life scarred her body.
"Oh, Levi, I didn't know you had found humor over the years," Petra laughed lightly as she gently tapped his hand.
"Just take the compliment, Ral."
For some reason, Petra dismissing his compliment had bothered him. His cowardice had brought them to the current situation, but taking matters into his hands now seemed to make Petra uncomfortable. Gabi had warned him his social skills would always push women away from him, but Levi had always kept the slightest hope his feelings towards Petra were not one-sided.
Petra's eyes widened at the unexpected outburst she would have never imagined from Levi. But yet again, it had been years since they had last seen each other. She was sure both of them must have changed in time.
"Thank you, Levi. I didn't expect to see you here again... in Paradise."
Neither did I, if he were honest. But he could never call Marley home, and as he got older, the wish to see the place he had shed blood for more times than he could recall made its way into his heart.
"The brats I was living with tied the knot. Figured I should give them some space."
Gabi and Falco got saddened by the news of his departure, and while Levi could have gotten by with the minimum of help from them, he felt out of place. He realized he just wanted to go home. Maybe he could visit the graves of their comrades with Petra one day.
"I'm sure they wouldn't have minded. My kids were sad to see me go as well."
Levi had been wary of approaching such a sensitive subject, especially since, as far as Petra knew, he had paid no interest in her life after her military career. But he had always been in the shadows, checking local newspapers, asking the kids how life was treating her. He had heard of the unfortunate death of her husband and wondered if he should reach out to her.
"Why did you come here then?"
Petra fiddled with her food, uncertain of how many details of her life she should share for now. He had been absent from her life for years, and she always thought it would be for their lifetime. She was sure her life story was not something of interest to him.
"I got a job here as a caretaker a few years after the war ended. After my husband passed away and my children were all grown up, I moved in for good. I still help around daily; a quiet life was never right for me."
Levi wondered how rough single motherhood must have been on her. He knew from Connie that her youngest daughter was only 6 when she had lost her father, almost the same age he was when his mother passed away. He wished he could have been there for her and her family, but the embarrassment of his absence stood in his way.
"Yeah, you've always been a restless brat. Always looking for something to do or something to fix."
Petra giggled, delighted at him calling her a brat again. She had never taken it as an insult, as she knew Levi always said it with affection. It was one of the many things she had missed once she put the military life behind her.
"I miss the military life sometimes. Or just being young and starry-eyed."
"You still look young." The words left his mouth before his brain had the time to process them, and Levi tried to cover it with a cough. It had been years of absence, and in only ten minutes by her side, he had already paid her more compliments than he did when they worked together. He did not fail to notice the pink tint of her cheeks, and he hurried to shift their conversation to a more serious matter.
"Now, time to put those good cleaning skills of yours to work?"
Petra laughed lightly and extended her hand to him- "Thought you would never ask me."
True to his words, Petra was still the best soldier he had trained in the art of cleaning. With her help, he had gotten the place up to his standards in no time. Cleaning side by side with her again had been bliss, and Levi was still pondering on his options to make it become a habit for them. Not that he especially needed her help, but he appreciated the reminder of times that had passed long ago. If he closed his eyes, he could imagine the rest of the squad next to her. Irritated, but always trying to hide it from him, as they cared and respected him enough to never act with disobedience. He noticed Petra tearing up as she cleaned the teacup they had gotten him, but he never addressed it. He let her have this moment on her own.
Weeks spent by her side went by in a heartbeat, and despite life there being quiet, Levi never found it dull. His favorite pastime had become joining Petra on her morning stroll through the nearby forest. She always made sure every room in the house had fresh flowers. "They could use some joy in their life," she had told him. While the residents were still strangers in his eyes, he could appreciate Petra's kind gesture. She had been the kindest soldier to join the Survey Corps.
But not all days were easy on them. It was still noticeable the Female Titan fight had taken a heavy toll on Petra, and the days leading to the anniversary of their deaths troubled her. But he would not run away from her again.
With flower bouquets in their hands, they made their way to their resting place early in the morning. It was noticeable someone cared for the headstones, and Levi was sure she had played a hand in this. Grief overwhelmed Levi, as well as a sense of regret for abandoning everyone he had cared about, all to make himself forget the role he had played in the war. They had barely made it to the cemetery, and Petra's handkerchief already stood testament to her pain. Levi extended his own, but instead of accepting it, Petra wrapped her hand around his and squeezed.
"I miss them," she whispered between hiccups. "Me too."
It was as simple as that. After losing Isabel and Farlan, Levi had never expected someone to get close to his heart again. But four starry-eyed idiots had never given up on it, and before he knew it, Levi cared for them. But like anything good in his life, they had to disappear eventually.
"Do you think we'll see them again?"
Levi squeezed her hand tighter- "I'm sure those brats can't wait to get on our nerves again."
Petra laughed lightly, grateful for someone being there by her side after all those years. Her husband had always joined her in this little tradition, but with Levi, it was different. They had both loved the boys.
"I'm sure Oluo is biting his tongue right now, seeing you visit his tomb." Oluo's persistent habit of trying to imitate him had always displeased Levi, but he had been a good kid. They had all been.
"I actually can't wait to see it again."
"I'm sure Eld and Gunther are struggling to contain his excitement at hearing the news."
Despite the tears running down her cheeks, Petra felt at peace. She was sure the boys would tease her for all the tears she had shed for them over the years. Petra was glad that year they could recall the good moments spent by their side.
"There are some other people we should see before going back."
His heart skipped a beat at reading the name written on the headstone. The grief had been far too overwhelming, and after all those years, it was Levi's first time visiting him.
"I take care of the headstone as well. I'm not sure if the Commander has any family left alive."
The wound was still fresh in his heart. He had let him go back then, but Levi had never accepted his death. He had considered visiting after fulfilling his duty to avenge him, but in the end, Levi was afraid. He was frightened to admit he had lost everyone he had ever loved.
"We also arranged for an empty grave for Hange next to his."
Two of his dearest friends, and he had failed in keeping them alive. How could he stand in front of them today, alive and well? How could he tell them he was excited about the chance of love?
"I'm sure they're happy you came to visit," Petra said as if she had read his thoughts. "Do you ever blame them? For keeping the truth away from you?"
His question took Petra by surprise, and while she would have given anything to change what had happened that day, she had made her peace with it a long time ago.
"No, we all had hard choices to make. They made the best choice they could with the information they had."
"Do you blame me?"
Levi did not dare look her in the eyes, but Petra got up from the ground and faced him- "No, we trusted you with our lives. It was our choice to follow you, even in death."
The question had haunted him since that day, but he had never dared to speak the words. If he had told them, if he had been there a few minutes eariler, maybe things would have been different. If only he had been stronger, he could have protected everyone.
"You did your best, and it was enough." "Thank you, Petra. For everything