Chapter 2 - Journals
They pulled up to the store and walked inside. Joy Ateara, Quil's mother, was standing at the register with the cashier when she saw the three walk-in. With one look at her son's and Bella's faces, she knew they had been told the secret. She felt bad for them both. She had known what her husband did all those years ago. He told her the moment he found out Renee was pregnant. Both Quil IV and Joy, along with Old Quil and Charlie all decided back then that they would tell Bella when the time was right or if Bella showed signs of being a shaman. Being a shaman was never a sure thing with each generation. Joy hadn't been pregnant with Quil yet but when she did get pregnant, they had decided to tell both kids at the same time when the time was right.
Joy hugged Charlie and Quil, before stopping in front of Bella. The poor girl had her head down. Afraid of what Joy would think of her.
"Mom, we're taking some of the empty boxes to pack Bella's things in and move them to our house," Quil told her.
She nodded her head. "Ok, go get them, Quil and Charlie. I'd like to speak with Bella in my office for a moment."
Both men nodded and walked to the back of the store.
Joy led Bella to her office and shut the door. Looking at the young girl, she could see that Bella was terrified now.
"Oh, honey." Joy sighed and pulled the girl to her, giving her a tight hug.
"I'm not angry with you. Nor do I hate you, sweetheart. For years, I was angry at my husband and even angry at Renee but I forgave my husband in the end. Especially since he came to me as soon as he found out your mom was pregnant. That was when he, myself, Charlie, and Old Quil all sat down to figure this out. Renee refused to sit down with us. She just decided to play you off as Charlie's daughter, never planning to tell you otherwise which We all knew was wrong, especially since there was a chance you could be a shaman eventually. The four of us decided we would tell you when the time was right or when you showed signs of being a shaman. I can't stand your mother. She is not a mother in my eyes. I'm sorry if this offends you honey but to me, that woman is nothing but a home-wrecker and an incubator." Joy explained to Bella all the while, holding her in a hug.
Bella gave a watery chuckle at the last comment, before pulling back to look at the older woman.
"Thank you, Joy. I thought you would hate me. I couldn't understand why you would let me live in your house when I'm the proof of your husband's infidelity." Bella said softly.
"Honey, I could never blame you. You and my son are victims of this. I know you don't know me that well. I also know that your mother has for the most part disowned you but if you need a mother figure, I will be here for you. I don't expect you to call me mom but if you feel it, you can. I already see you as a daughter." Joy told Bella, looking her in the eyes with a soft smile.
Bella had tears in her eyes hearing this. She threw herself at Joy, hugging her tight. "Thank you." She whispered.
Joy smiled and hugged the young girl to her.
Quil, who had been loading up the empty boxes, had also heard the whole conversation and smiled. That was exactly why he was a mama's boy. His mother was amazing.
While they were at the store, Bella picked up a few ingredients for a quick and easy dinner. When Joy tried to protest about Bella's cooking, she was informed that Bella loved to cook and wanted to. So, she decided to let her.
Joy hugged all three of them, as they got back into the truck and drove to Charlie's house. On the way there, Quil explained to them what Sam had said, about Charlie trying to get down to the res as often as possible until Victoria is dead and a wolf being with Bella at all times right now. She tried to protest at being babysat like a child but Quil told her that he would be with her mostly in human form anyway. She finally accepted it, knowing she didn't have a choice but glad that Quil would make it as normal as possible for her.
*X*
A few hours later, Bella and Quil pulled up to the Ateara house in Bella's truck, while Charlie followed them in the cruiser so he could get back home on his own later.
They started unloading everything, taking it to Bella's new room. Old Quil followed them into her room with bedding for the bed.
"Sue Clearwater made these for you Bella. I hope you like wolves." Old Quil said with an amused smile to the last comment.
Bella giggled at him and nodded. "I love wolves. I'll have to thank her."
Quil smiled at that.
Bella made her bed and started unpacking, while the rest of the men moved in suitcases and boxes, except Old Quil, who sat on the edge of Bella's bed talking with her, as she unpacked. They discussed her training. Where it would happen and how it would happen. It was while they were talking that Bella decided to share her journals with the Elders and the pack. She had three separate journals. One was for only her private life. The second one was about vampires and only vampires. It had little tidbits in it. It also had information about vampires, the Cullen's, and what little she did know about the Volturi. As well as her experiences with the Cullen's and other vampires. The third was started for and about the wolves. She decided she would share the supernatural journals with them, not her private one.
"Grandpa?" she asked timidly. Unsure of if she was allowed to call him that.
Old Quil smiled at her. "Yes, dear?"
"Umm…When I first met the Cullen's and found out what they were, I started a journal devoted to only vampires, the Cullen's. My experiences with both, as well as tidbits of information on both. I wasn't sure why I was starting it at the time. I just felt the need to. I also plan to keep adding to it as I learn more about them. Because, unfortunately, we all know that when the Cullen's dragged me into the vampire world, they slapped a permanent target on my back. Especially with the bite mark I have…Do you want to read the journal? The Elder's and the pack can as well but I would like to keep access to it myself to add to it if I need to." Bella explained. While she had been explaining, both Quil and Charlie had brought more boxes in and stopped to listen to what she said. Bella also noticed Sam had come into the house and was leaning against her doorframe looking at her interested in what she was saying. He knew he had to start being nicer to her. He understood that the allurement wasn't her fault. He also knew one of the wolves would imprint on her eventually.
"Sorry, I was patrolling this way when I heard what you were talking about," Sam said. Bella nodded hesitantly.
"Yes, that would be very helpful Bella. I'm sure there are things we don't know that we should and you probably know them. If you don't mind, I'd like to read it, and when it's full we can add it to the archives. You can keep the journal on you when we aren't reading it." Old Quil replied, surprised at his granddaughter for thinking of doing that.
"Also, if you wouldn't mind, starting a journal for shamans?" he asked.
"Well, I started one about the wolves too, when I found out about them. Do you want me to add the shaman to that journal or start another one? I have three journals going at the moment. Vampires, Wolves, and my private one." Bella replied.
Once again, Old Quil had been surprised at her. Sam was becoming more impressed with Bella by the second.
"Just add the shaman info to the wolf journal and anything you learn about wolves. Make that one your life with as a shaman for the wolf pack." Old Quil said with a smile.
"Ok." Bella smiled and handed him one of the journals from a box.
"The black one is for vampires. The Brown one is for wolves. The purple one is mine that one is labeled." She explained.
"Thank you, dear. I'll read this, then pass it through the elders for them to read and to Sam. Then we'll get it back to you. If you need to add to it in the meantime, just ask me who has it and you can go see them to add to it." Old Quil explained, as he held the journal in his lap.
"Alright. That will work." Bella said.
"Also, for now, don't show anyone the wolf and shaman journal. If you make any observations for now regarding the wolves, just come to an Elder or Sam about it. Then when needed, we'll have you write it in the journal, ok?" Old Quil said.
"Ok. No problem." Bella replied.
"You know, also, it might not be a bad idea to have all of the wolves and imprints write their own journals." Bella said, as she started unpacking again.
Old Quil, Quil, and Sam looked at her, yet again, with interest, wondering where she was going with this idea. When she saw that she had their attention still, she explained.
"Well, from what I was able to understand before everyone stopped talking to me, you all thought imprinting was rare. While I'm not saying the past generations were wrong, everyone is different. Every wolf, every imprint. The way Sam and Emily react to something as an imprinted couple, versus how Jared and his imprint react might be complete opposites. It might be a good idea to have different points of view for each wolfy thing." Bella explained with a shrug.
Sam chuckled at her saying 'wolfy thing' but her idea was a good one. She was also right. Different wolves and imprints and bonds may react different based on personalities.
"That's actually a really good idea, Bella." Sam told her with a smile.
"Thank you, Sam." She said, softly, not looking at him. Sam sighed. He knew him and the pack would have to work hard to get back on her good side.
"We will discuss it at the next Elder meeting. Which is actually tonight but I'm almost sure, we will be doing that." Old Quil said.
Bella nodded, happy her ideas were being listened to, unlike with the Cullen's.
"Umm…Bella, I just want to say I'm sorry for how I treated you in the past. Also, for the alpha order I put on everyone to not talk to you or anything. It wasn't fair to you. Quil was right, I never gave you the chance to explain and I should have. I was afraid of you allurement too. It was tempting the wolves that were already imprinted. I am really sorry. I can only hope that someday you'll forgive me and we can be more like siblings. After all, you are the pack's shaman. You are a pack sister." Sam said, looking at Bella.
Bella looked at him with tears in her eyes. "We'll work on it but right now, it's hard to look at you and not be angry and hurt."
Sam nodded, remorseful. "I understand, Bella."
"Grandpa, if you don't mind, maybe let Sam read that journal first? It might have some information the pack can use and the sooner they have the info the better." Bella told him.
"Alright. That's fine." Old Quil said, passing the black journal to Sam.
"Thank you, Bella." Sam said, taking the journal. "Alright, I'm going to head home. I'll see you guys later. Quil take a few days off of patrol to spend time with Bella. I know you want to get to know her as your sister and she needs to finish settling in."
"Alright, Thanks Sam." Quil said.
Sam nodded and left the house.
*X*
Once Sam got back to his house, he sat on his recliner with Bella's journal. Emily was in the kitchen cooking, as usual. Some of the pack was lounging around the living room, watching TV while the rest of them were on patrol. They knew Sam wanted to sit and read that journal quietly. They understood, because they were curious about what she had written and what she knew. Most of them felt bad for the way they treated her. Seth and Leah have never met her. They only heard about her in the minds of the pack and only see her the same way or when they are on Bella watch. Leah hated Bella at first because of her past with the leeches and Jacob's crush on her. He thought he was in love with her. He had denied the imprint when Leah and Jacob had first imprinted on each other. She quickly put end end to that by asserting her dominance with him and the pack. She was the alpha female, Jacob would someday be the Alpha.
*X*
Sam opened the journal and began to read...
February 21st, 2009
The Cullen's are vampires. 'Cold one' is the correct name for them. They do not have fangs. All of their teeth are sharper and coated with the same venom that runs through their veins. They sparkle in the sun, like fairies. I'm really confused though. Sometimes I want nothing to do with him or his family but other times I think I might love them. What is wrong with me? Something is not right. Are they using some type of allurement? There is no one I can talk to about this. I guess we will see what happens.
Sam chuckled a little at her little quip about them sparkling like fairies. The pack members in the living room looked at him curious. He re-read the bit about sparkling like fairies out loud, making them laugh.
Sam was also concerned because this says that they were already starting to use the pheromone on her. She had no one to talk to about what was going on with her.
He shook his head and turned the page, reading the next entry. This one had his interest piqued. It told him more information on each of the Cullen's.
February 24th, 2009
Edward told me more about his family today. Some vampires have gifts. He was changed in 1918 when he was dying from the Spanish influenza. Carlisle was his doctor and wanted a companion because he was getting lonely. He saw Edward was near death and changed him. Edward can also read minds. He can only see what you're thinking at the forefront of your mind. To keep him from knowing what you're thinking, think of something else. Emmett and Rosalie usually think about sex. Jasper recites war books. Edward is also the fastest in the family.
Alice doesn't remember most about her life. Only that she was in an asylum when she was changed. They think she was in there because she had visions as a human. She sees the future but her visions are based on a person's decisions. To block her visions, you would need to NOT make a decision.
Jasper is the vampire in the group with a real "vampire" history. He was in the military as a human, Civil War in fact. He was a major when he was changed. His sire changed him so he could train her vampire army. Back then it was normal to fight for feeding territory. He can feel and manipulate emotions. I have not found a loophole for Jasper's gift yet.
The rest of the Cullen's don't really have gifts. Emmett is very strong, Carlisle has his self-control over bloodlust. Esme is motherly. Rosalie is just a bitter bitch.
This could help future packs. He'll have to warn his own pack and the imprints and elders to shield their minds around Edward.
Sam read more entries. Most of the info was very useful. However there were certain entries that were more interesting than others.
It's been three weeks since the incident. Figured I should write about it…
I went out to watch the Cullens play baseball in a clearing. It was during a thunderstorm. They needed the sound of the thunder to be able to play, because of their strength. When they would hit the ball, it would sound like thunder.
Three nomad vampires came upon us. They were curious, according to Edward. I found out they were the ones behind my Dad's two friend's deaths. Anyway, James was the coven leader. He caught a whiff of my scent and saw how Edward protected me. He saw it as a challenge. Edward made me the greatest game of all without realizing it. James is a tracker. He loves the hunt. Alice and Jasper drove me to Phoenix to hide from James, while Esme and Rosalie wore some of my clothes to trick James into following them instead. It was so they could lead him away from me and kill him but with him being a tracker, he figured it out. With Victoria's help, he was able to get my old home address in Phoenix. He went there and called me from Renee's home. He pretended to have Renee, my mother. He told me to come alone or he'd kill her. She may have disowned me but I couldn't let her die because of me. I snuck away from Alice and Jasper and I went to the ballet studio where he was waiting for me. He was able to beat me up, break my leg, a few ribs and leave a gash in my head before Edward showed up. Since Edward is the fastest, he showed up before the rest. He fought with James but James managed to get away from him and bite me. Then Carlisle, Alice, Jasper and Emmett showed up and tore him apart. Edward sucked the venom out so that I wouldn't change. He nearly drained me dry doing that. Carlisle had to pull him off of me. Victoria ran off. Jasper thinks she'll be back for revenge eventually. Edward disagrees with him though. He tells me I shouldn't worry about her. Personally, I agree with Jasper. He has more experience with this type of stuff than Edward does. Edward has always been a little sheltered in the vampire world. Sure, he went through a short rebellious stage where he fed off of scumbag humans-rapists, murderers, etc. but he doesn't have the past that Jasper does. I trust Jasper's judgment on this more than I trust Edward's. Laurent went to Denali to try the animal blood diet. He wanted no part in James' game.
He read more entries, until the word 'singer' caught his eye.
"Hey guys, listen to this.." Sam said, getting the packs attention. By now the whole pack was at his house, except Quil.
They all looked at him, as he began to read out loud.
"I found out today that I'm Edward's singer. This means my blood calls to him like no other blood does and only to him in this way. He explained it to me that my blood is basically his own personal brand of heroin. Carlisle told me that a vampire can never resist their singer. They always stalk, violate, then drain and kill their singer when they come across them. The fact that Edward has been able to resist me is mind blowing to the other Cullen's. Edward told me that the first day he met me in biology, he wanted to kill every person in that classroom so he could have my blood."
"Oh dear spirits..He could have done all of that to her eventually if he hadn't have left. You can only resist something for so long." Emily gasped as she had heard the entry from the doorway.
All of the pack sat there in shock. The Cullen's may be mostly peaceful and say they would never hurt humans all they want. The fact was, they could…Edward almost did.
"He nearly did drain her dry in spring, when he sucked the venom out of her." Sam said, shaking his head.
"I wonder if that's why they brought her into their family. Just because it was mind blowing that Edward could resist her. A way to test his control. The Doc would see it as an experiment." Leah suggested, making some of the pack members growl.
"She is not a science experiment. She is a human being! An innocent!" Seth growled loud.
"We know that, Seth and we will protect her from now on. She won't be alone anymore." Sam said with conviction.
Emily went back to the kitchen to finish making dinner. The pack settled back down, as Sam went back to reading the journal in his head.
Today is my birthday, I told Alice I didn't want a party. I'm just not into it but she is throwing one anyway. She said she saw that I'd love it. Sometimes I wonder if she uses her visions to manipulate everyone into getting her way. Think about it, if you hate shopping and you say I won't go shopping. Then you are making the decision NOT to go but if you hear her say that she saw you say yes to go shopping, then you feel obligated to say yes, because you don't want to go against her visions. Do you see what I'm saying?
"Bella thinks the seer was manipulating her using her visions." Sam said to the group. Then he re-read the entry out loud to them.
"Spirits, that girl went through a lot, didn't she?" Kim, Jared's imprint, said with a shake of her head.
"So, we can't fully trust the seer. Good to know." Paul said with a nod.
Sam flipped more pages, until he came to the night Edward left her. He began to read that one out loud.
He left me….He just left…..I guess I should explain…Dad keeps asking what happened but I can't tell him everything so I don't bother telling him anything…
Alice had that disastrous birthday party for me. When I say disastrous, I mean that. I was opening a gift, when I got a paper cut. A paper cut in a house full of vampires...Jasper, who is an empath and can feel emotions around him, felt the bloodlust of every vampire in the room. Edward's was the worse since I am his singer. With all of that bloodlust floating around the room and Edward's not so gentle push to protect me, sending me flying into a table full of glassware, leaving an even deeper cut in my arm, poor Jasper lunged at me. What I don't get is how didn't Alice see this?
After Carlisle patched me up, Edward drove me home. Then a few days later, he asked me to take a walk with him. He took me out into the woods. He told me him and his family were leaving. He told me that I was just a toy, a distraction until they moved on. That he never loved me. I was just a stupid little human and I would forget him. Then he left me there in the middle of the woods. I couldn't find my way out. Twelve hours later, Sam, a guy from the res, found me. I'm grateful to him that he saved me.
Growls erupted through the room at how Bella was treated, then tossed aside like trash.
"If he ever comes back here, I'll tear him limb from limb and light the pyre myself!" Embry yelled.
None of them knew Bella all that well, except Jacob but Embry had hung out with her a couple of times before his change and he thought she was a cool chick.
"Edward is a pile of ash if he ever shows up here again." Paul growled.
"Agreed but for now we calm down." Sam said.
"Dinner's ready!" Emily shouted from the kitchen.
They all got up, still trying to calm down as they made their way to the kitchen.
*X*
Meanwhile, at the Ateara house…
Old Quil, Joy, Quil, Bella and Charlie were all sat around the dining room table eating dinner themselves.
"This is really good, Bella. You are an amazing cook." Joy moaned between bites of an easy pasta recipe that Bella made.
Bella blushed and smiled shyly at Joy "Thank you. I love to cook. Love to be in the kitchen and experiment with different ingredients." Bella said.
"Well, I won't make you cook every night, dear. I love to be in the kitchen as well but feel free to experiment all you want. Maybe we can do that together sometimes." Joy told her with a smile.
Charlie smiled when he saw Bella's eyes light up. He knew she had always wanted to share that passion with her own mother.
"I would like that." Bella said, excitedly.
Joy and Quil smiled softly at each other.
"Oh, Grandpa, Bella, Sam wants to have a bonfire this Friday. He wants you to re-tell the legends for Bella and he wants to introduce her to the rest of the pack." Quil told them.
Bella looked hesitant. They all knew she would be with how the pack has been treating her until today.
"They want to make it up to you Bella. Please do this for me?" Quil looked at her.
Bella sighed. "Alright."
Quil smiled and looked at his Grandfather.
Old Quil nodded "Ok, I'll call Billy after dinner and arrange it."
"Is there anything I can make for the bonfire? Maybe Joy and I can make it together." Bella asked.
Joy smiled, delighted by the idea.
"Make whatever you want, we'll eat it. Experiment away." Quil told her.
"Just remember you're making it for a pack of wolves, imprints, and elders. You are invited to come as well Charlie." Old Quil said.
"I'll be there. Just let me know a time." Charlie nodded.
After dinner, Old Quil called Billy to set up a bonfire for Friday. It was all set. Charlie went home and the Ateara and Bella sat in the living room talking until the teenagers went to bed.
*X*
Back at Sam's house, the pack had gone home. Emily had gone to sleep. Sam was lying in the bed next to her, reading Bella's journal. He read another entry…
I had to tell Charlie about vampires and the Cullen's. I left out the wolves though. I know the pack will be angry, regardless but I couldn't explain away the withdrawals I've been having. It got so bad that Charlie took me for a drug test that came back negative for drugs. How the hell else would I explain withdrawals. When I told him, he was mad at me at first but he let me explain my side of things and I showed him my journal. He said he thinks I have something on the allurement thing in the first entry. He said if he had to guess it would be a pheromone. I think he might be right. Now we have to try to figure out how to get me over this.
He flipped to the last entry, and read it as his eye drooped from being tired.
Figured I may as well write this in here too. Maybe, eventually, the wolves will get ahold of this journal and all of this information can help them. They would want/need to know about the Volturi too…
The Volturi is a coven of vampires in Voltaire, Italy. They are the law, the royalty. There are three kings. Aro, who can read your every thought, every thought you've ever had, and your memories by touching your hand. Marcus, who can see bonds between people. Then there is Caius, who as far as I know, doesn't have a gift. He is just ruthless. Aro and Caius have mates but Marcus' mate was killed a long time ago. Though, I have no idea what their mate's names are. Then there is their personal guard. The twins-Jane and Alec. They are the youngest and the mostly deadly. Jane can cause you pain without even touching you. DO NOT underestimate her gift. It could mean your death. Alec can take away all of your senses. From what Carlisle told me, it looks like a black smoke that comes out of his hands. Demetri is their tracker, the best tracker in the vampire world. I'm not sure how his gift works though. Felix has brute strength, like Emmett. Chelsea can break bonds completely and create new ones. Essentially making you bonded and loyal to Aro, if they choose. Renata is a physical shield for Aro. There are more but I don't know them all.
He fell asleep knowing he had to tell the pack about the last couple of entries he just read.