Author's Note: Hey hey, it's been a minute! Life got a bit insane. A career change, moving cities, a mild heartbreak - it's all left good fodder to write about. As you'll see, this story somewhat diverges as Minerva needs room for character growth. In the coming chapters, Albus will find a way back to her I'm sure.
How do you long for someone who you are still physically with? How can you pine over a man who hasn't even left you yet? Minerva pondered these thoughts as she lay in bed next to Albus. He was leaving for Hogwarts tomorrow. She wouldn't be joining him. The proverbial elephant in the room all summer, Minerva and Albus hadn't really discussed their future following the break, but she knew that in Albus's mind, it didn't include her. Through countless hours of pillow talk, discussions over dinner, they'd spoken about her future ambitions, and his, but never about theirs together. When Albus essentially forced her to apply to postgraduate Transfigurations programs, she took the hint that he wouldn't want her joining him at Hogwarts. But she was always too scared to ask him what he wanted, to ask him if he ever saw them together for the longer run. Minerva didn't want to ruin what great summer they'd had, and now she regretted this.
So now, laying next to Albus, who was soundly sleeping with his back towards her, she began to softly cry. She thought about the night they'd walked from Hogsmeade together, both a little drunk, so infatuated with each other, holding hands and meandering home down the street. She would miss that so, so much. She felt like she could be herself around this man completely - goofy, unabashed Minerva. Minerva who had nerdy interests and who was always too worried that her high ambitions would make her seem like a Slytherin. But she could share them with him! Minerva who'd been embarrassed of her rural, half Muggle upbringing, her cheap clothes and unworldliness. Albus never cared about that. He was from one of the oldest wizarding families and had enough money to fill dozens of Gringotts vaults, but his family clearly had problems of their own. He never looked down upon her because of where she'd come from, never made her feel stupid or different. And the sex - after spending her whole life quite indifferent to sexual activity, even ashamed, he'd turned her into a fiend. Now she was just supposed to go months, if not longer, without being with him?
Minerva won a spot at the Salem Witches Institute in Massachusetts, fully paid for. It was essentially the most prestigious role for a young witch interested in a career in Transfigurations, or even government or educational work broadly. Albus was impressed but unsurprised when she received the news in August, and all September they'd planned for his departure from the cottage for Hogwarts, then hers to Salem. Minerva knew he didn't want to pursue their relationship across the Atlantic, at least, as of a month ago. She'd stupidly mentioned how excited she was for him to visit Salem, after receiving the news. "You can come over and visit during holiday! I'll show you the campus and the American way of life!" Minerva burst out during their celebration dinner. She saw him bristle across the table and look alarmed.
They didn't discuss it the entire night, but days later he approached her on their walk. "Minerva, I feel you've gotten attached. I love you, you know this. Over the last year, we've been through so much together. But life is long and I don't want to hold you back, don't want you to regret wasting your best years with me. I want you to be free while you're at the institute, do go on dates with whatever wizards you please. What if you run into someone interesting at a party? I'll be far too busy between the Ministry and Hogwarts to guarantee a visit."
She was so stupid - they were so different. He'd never wanted a long term girlfriend, the man had been a bachelor for so long, why would he change that for her? And the difference between their upbringings would have been too difficult to surmount. All the things that attracted her, his completely opposite way of life, were the same things that would drive them apart. So now Minerva knew Albus had no intentions of staying in her life while she way away. She'd known this for a month, but in that last month continued to live like nothing had happened, like he hadn't said that. She naively thought she could change his mind by virtue of being the model girlfriend.
With all this in mind, Minerva laid in bed next to Albus, unable to sleep. She glanced over at the man she was falling deeper and deeper for, softly snoring. She couldn't take it anymore and nudged him awake. "Albus, Albus?"
"Huh?" He muttered ineloquently. "Why'd you wake me up?"
"I just – am really going to miss you. And - I know you don't want to stay together. But we're still going to talk, right? You'll write me? We'll meet again?"
"Minerva, of course we're going to stay in touch. I'll owl you weekly. I've been so lucky to have you, you know this. And you know I'm not one to just cut someone off completely."
Minerva remembered the messiness with Grindlewald. His words relieved her. "One more question, Albus. Let's say I do well at the Witches' Institute."
"You obviously will." he but in.
"And let's say I get an offer at Hogwarts. Would you hate that? If I followed you?"
"Minerva, I would love for you to come back to Hogwarts. You need to go be young now, but you know Hogwarts is always home. I would hire you in an instant."
She didn't care about Hogwarts, she was alluding to them reuniting romantically. But Minerva, still somehow shy around the man she'd been naked around, shared everything to, spent more time with than anyone else, was too shy to press it. Whether due to her inexperience with men, or rural Scottish naiveté, Minerva took every word that Albus spoke to her to be capital-T Truth. She couldn't fathom a world in which he lied to make her feel better. At that moment, she fully believed in his weekly owls, fully believed he loved her. He was the kindest man she'd ever met.
Feeling slightly reassured, she snuggled in right next to Albus. He'd always been a light sleeper, and after sex and some light cuddling, they tended to drift apart to other sides of the bed, but he capitulated and let her squeeze into him. She held on to Albus so tightly the rest of the night, trying to take in his scent completely, trying to remember every scar and mark on his body, the way his voice sounded, the hairs on his chest.
There were so many things Minerva wanted to ask him. Will you miss me? Will we see each other again? Can I visit? But Minerva stayed silent because she knew what his answers would be, and that they would very well hurt her. Minerva clung to him, breathing in the same pattern to match his own, and tried to fall asleep. It evaded her worried mind.
The next morning, after one very sleepless night, she accompanied him to the train station and he left. Minerva tidied up the cottage by hand, feeling no desire to use magic. She refused to bathe all day as she didn't want the scent of Albus to go away. And then she packed for Salem. Minerva was trying so hard to be excited - this was her dream, after all. If it wasn't for a man coming into her life last year, she would have been beyond thrilled. But now she felt incomplete.