NOT DEAD YET.
Chapter 51: Housing Crisis
In the aftermath of the big meeting there's a number of things to be wrapped up. First and foremost is the matter of the future children. Now that Owain's big secret is out there's more than a few Shepherds who are interested in knowing more about these kids, especially who they might be related to. Thankfully Chrom firmly follows my advice on the matter. Nobody gets to know who they're related to unless all parties agree. Which means… pretty much nothing changes, for the moment.
We have a thankfully small number of future children in the Shepherds at the moment, and of that number half are related to me. Of the others, Owain has already agreed to keep the identity of his father a secret, and Noire has remained adamant that she be left out of any and all discussions on her family.
Of course this still leaves the problem of Morgan, who is entirely complicated enough of a subject on her own. So far Owain and Severa have been taking the lead in keeping Morgan's enthusiasm in check, but the girl has a seriously potent sense of enthusiasm to dig up every bit of knowledge about her missing memories. Frankly speaking, there's no good answer.
In the end we settle for an option that leaves all of us feeling miserable about the matter, a sure sign that we've come up with the best compromise available. Morgan hasn't been told about her mother, and she isn't allowed to speak of her sister. But we do introduce her properly to Robin. By the time we're getting ready to hit the road back to Ylisstol the next day the girl is already following her father around like a duckling. It is absolutely adorable, and leaves me longing for the time when we can start bringing these families together properly.
That day is still a ways away though. Seeing Morgan and Robin interacting may give me a nice warm fuzzy feeling but one need only look at Noire to see that this is a process that needs to be handled slowly and delicately. Some of these kids I expect to smoothly integrate with their families; Kjelle and Lucina immediately come to mind as examples. But there's been more than enough drama with the few kids we've already met that Chrom and I are trying to play it safe.
Is it hypocritical of us to withhold information like this after our big meeting on trusting each other as a group? Sure, a little bit. But considering the absolute disaster that was Severa's big reveal to me I refuse to just rush into things without some forethought and a lot of very careful planning. Most of the Shepherds have barely even thought of starting a relationship, let alone a family. For that reason, plus the fact that the Shepherds all know that this secret exists, it's generally concluded that all of this is for the best.
Of course it's right when we start to get a handle on things again that Khan Basilio shows up to make things more complicated again. We're mere minutes away from leaving Gelida Dominus when he shows up with a familiar pink-haired woman in tow.
"Hey everyone, I know a few of you have already met her, but I'd like to introduce you all to Olivia!" He announces loudly, clapping the woman on the back with a force that must surely be gentle by his standards but still sends her reeling. "She's been working for me for a few years now, and she's trained in both swordplay and dancing."
By now Chrom has made his way to the forefront of our group, and while he looks visibly confused he doesn't let that stop him from giving his best effort at diplomacy, "Yes, I believe you introduced us last winter. It's good to see you again Olivia."
"Umm, thank you," Olivia says looking a bit lost as well. I get the impression that she's mostly here because she's following Basilio's pace rather than due to any understanding of what's happening.
That impression solidifies when Basilio produces a small trunk out of nowhere and her eyes suddenly widen in alarm, "Alright, and now that you're all friends, I'll let you all take it from here!" He looks around for a moment before his eyes settle on me. And suddenly the trunk is in my hands and now I'm struggling not to fall over, because god damn this thing is much heavier than it looks.
"Wait, what?" Chrom blinks in bewilderment.
"Wait, what!?" Olivia echoes in alarm.
"I'm leaving Olivia in your care!" Basilio grins, looking entirely too pleased with himself, "After seeing what a good influence you've all been on Lon'qu I decided a bit of time away from Regna Ferox would be perfect for her!"
I and many of the other Shepherds turn as one to Lon'qu, who looks absolutely mortified. And when I look back Basilio is already making an exit. "Good luck, be safe, make friends!" He calls out from the other side of the courtyard, before vanishing back into the keep.
We all look back to Olivia, now standing alone in front of us, the poor girl shaking like a newborn deer.
"Um…" Chrom ventures, looking tremendously uncertain, "Happy to have you?"
"I… suppose I'm happy to be here," Olivia ventures, now looking resigned to her fate. She glances back across the courtyard, then lets out a long sigh, "He's certainly not going to change his mind, after all."
Seeing Olivia standing there by herself looking so forlorn brings up that familiar protective urge she seems to inspire in me, and I find myself stepping in to try to take some of the attention off of her, "Well, I guess I'll go bring this to the same cart we've got the other girl's stuff on then. Do we still have room Maribelle?"
"Hmm? Oh, yes, of course!" Maribelle breaks from her own feelings of bewilderment and moves back to the cart in question, "Well, things will be a little tight, I'll admit, but it's hardly unmanageable."
"Cool. How about you follow me and we'll show you what we're doing with your things Olivia," I nod to the girl. Then after a moment of thought I look to Chrom, "That won't be a problem, will it?"
"Uh, no. I suppose not," Chrom responds, still looking a bit lost, "I'll leave this in your capable hands then. Everyone else, let's get back to it! We can sort out introductions on the road, we have a lot of ground to cover!"
More than a few eyes still linger on Olivia as everyone disperses, but soon enough the workload has everyone suitably distracted. It's only once everyone's eyes are off of her that Olivia finally seems to feel safe to move, and she approaches me with an expression of gratitude, "Thank you Ben. It's nice to see you again."
"Nice to see you too," I smile down at her, "I'd heard you were around, but I haven't had a chance to say hello with all the craziness in my life right now."
"O-oh, right," She stammers, looking suddenly very worried, "I suppose you would have been…"
Ah right, I guess she's heard all the rumors as well. And all the not-rumors, many of which are far worse than all the hearsay floating about. "Well, let's get your things packed up with the rest, shall we?" I say, putting on the most natural smile I can manage and moving towards the cart.
"Yes, thank you!" She yelps, following my pace quickly but meekly.
In the short time I've had my eyes off of her Maribelle has already unpacked half of the cart, and is now reloading it with Cordelia's organizational assistance. Several of the other Shepherds have been drafted into service, standing by with arms now filled with boxes.
"Let's save that space for Sumia's book collection, Cordelia!" She says, passing a box down to an already very overloaded Vaike.
"I thought we could move Sully's trunk here, fit Olivia's on top of it, and then slip the book collection here next to Tharja's potion supplies," Cordelia explains, gesturing to the location in question.
Maribelle hums thoughtfully, then nods her head, "You're right, that would be more efficient. Stahl, pass that crate off to Vaike a moment and help us move this, if you please. And Ben, be ready to bring that up quickly now, we're losing daylight the longer we dally with this."
"As the lady wishes," I reply bemusedly, passing the trunk to Stahl as soon as his arms are free again, and then rescuing Vaike from his load before he collapses. From there the next few minutes are spent hurriedly relaying boxes back and forth until Maribelle and Cordelia have finally arranged the cart to accommodate the extra trunk. It ends up being the final task we needed to complete, and so as soon as everything's tied down and covered up Chrom gives the order to march.
Spirits are high as we pass through Gelida Dominus and make for the road south. More than a few Feroxi appear to see us off, all cheering raucously for their departing allies. They're still drunk on the thrill of having won the war, in some cases literally. The celebrations may have ended some time ago, but apparently seeing us on our way proved enough of an excuse for people to start yet another bout of partying.
The marching proceeds orderly through the city until we have exited the main gates, at which point the Ylissean royal army joins us. For a country of Ylisse's population the size of the army is an absolute joke, especially after the war, but it still proved to be too much to fit them within Gelida Dominus' walls. An army is an army after all, even if Exalt Emmeryn spent years reducing their numbers. They had little choice but to camp outside the city.
Once the full extent of our marching numbers is reached things quickly dissolve into a more chaotic mix. Many of the Shepherds from a less noble background such as Vaike or Kellam move to mingle with other soldiers (at least I think that's where Kellam went), and those left swiftly break from marching formation to mingle amongst themselves. Frederick states his disapproval several times, but he can't do much beyond that, as Maribelle has confined him to her cart for medical reasons. Despite his insistence otherwise there's still unease about how recovered he really is after what Gangrel did to him. This leaves everyone free to break rank and fall in with their friends as soon as the knight isn't looking.
Olivia, being new and timid as she is, doesn't dare venture from her hastily assigned position in the marching order until she's certain Frederick isn't watching her. But once she does feel comfortable enough to break ranks she beelines towards my group, to my surprise. That said, if she's decided her familiarity with me is enough for her to overcome her anxiety and approach several strangers, I'm going to do everything I can to make sure she feels welcome.
"Gaius, Nowi, Diana, this is Olivia. Severa, I think you've- no never mind, I forgot you skipped the party last winter," I smile in greeting to the woman as she approaches, "Olivia, these are my friends, Gaius and Nowi, and these are Severa and Diana, my daughters."
"Oh!" Olivia blinks in surprise, "I didn't think you had kids."
"They're adopted. Kinda. It's a long story. I've got a son around here too, but he's with…" I blink in surprise as it occurs to me I've lost track of the little bugger, "Diana. Status report."
"Cordelia's got him," Diana says giving me a mildly unimpressed look.
"He is with Cordelia!" I announce with a grin, "I can introduce you to both of them later. And anyone else you wish. Who have you met so far?"
"I've been introduced to Chrom, Lissa, Sumia, Maribelle, and yourself," Olivia lists, looking around our caravan of carts and horses as if it's a strange, alien world to her, which I suppose isn't too far off in a way. After a moment though she seems to snap out of it and smiles back at the rest of us, "Oh, and I already knew Lon'qu of course. It's nice to meet you all!"
"Good to meet you too!" Nowi gives Olivia a big upside-down smile. While Gaius, Severa, and I are all stuck walking, her and Diana were given leave to ride on a cart due to having shorter legs. Nowi of course has chosen to take advantage of that luxury in the wildest way imaginable, and is slumping bonelessly over the side. Diana, being the more responsible sort, has decided to keep an eye on the girl to make sure she doesn't fall off or get her hair caught in the wheels or something equally ridiculous.
"Yeah, it's a pleasure," Gaius says with a nod of his head, "I should warn you before you continue though: Ben and I aren't exactly the most popular people in the Shepherds right now. Might be better off leaving the introductions to Princess or Stumbles."
"Lissa or Sumia," Severa supplies, seeing the confused expression on Olivia's face.
"Oh," Olivia nods in understanding, then gives me a hesitant look, "Is this… about all the rumors I've been hearing about you?"
"Very much so," I admit.
"Oh dear, I hadn't realized people were taking them so seriously."
"Well it'd be weird for them not to, honestly. Most of them are true," I say frankly.
"Really!" Olivia blinks in surprise, "So, the rumor about you destroying an entire bandit camp singlehandedly?"
"True," I nod.
"And the one about you hiding knowledge about the war to further an evil agenda?"
"More like a criminally stupid agenda, but still basically true," Gaius supplies.
"And the rumor about you being a cannibal who carves up bodies so you can take the best cuts!?" Olivia asks hysterically.
The rest of us trade baffled looks at that. Then Nowi rolls over again on the wagon so she's looking at Olivia right-side-up and says with a completely serious expression, "That one is extra true."
"O-oh my goodness!" Olivia gasps in shock, then runs further ahead, "I'm sorry, I need some time to process all of this!"
The rest of us stop and just stand dumbstruck for a moment, until somebody behind us complains and we have to run to catch up with the cart where Nowi is now laughing hysterically. "Okay seriously," I finally say, looking to the others, "People think I'm a cannibal now?"
"I guess some idiots thought your stupid nickname was more literal?" Severa comments, then gives Nowi an annoyed look, "Okay seriously Nowi, stop laughing. You practically traumatized the poor woman!"
Nowi's only response is a gasping wheeze from the cart.
Olivia does return before too long, having realized that Nowi was fucking with her. But she still gives me slightly uneasy looks from time to time. And while she remains friendly as our journey continues, I notice she starts spending increasing amounts of time with other members of the Shepherds. Is this just a natural result of her becoming more comfortable with her new coworkers? Almost certainly. But there's a part of me that can't help but wonder if it's because she doesn't think I'm safe to be around anymore.
If I thought the response our procession received from the Feroxi was impressive, it's nothing compared to how the Ylisseans reacted upon our return to the capital. The response is like something out of a corny fantasy film. A veritable ocean of people waving and cheering, packed so tightly it's a wonder we have room to walk down the main road. Flower petals scattered on the cobblestones before us. People climbing on roofs and practically dangling out windows.
Even Bobby gets the royal treatment, the big lizard soaking in the adulation of the crowd. Some of the older folks in the crowd are watching him uneasily, but the kids are all pointing and gasping like he's the coolest thing ever. It helps that I'm riding him in plain sight, with Lumír sitting directly in front of me. Hard to look at any creature as dangerous when they're casually letting a small child ride them.
That last bit of logic was actually Gaius' idea, the result of a brief but frantic brainstorming session the night before when we all remembered that Bobby might be a problem for the citizens who haven't had a chance to get to know him. After all this time on the road the Shepherds and even the regular soldiers have come to accept him, recognizing him for the big scaly puppy that he is. But that won't be the case for the people who have been living in the capital, especially in the wake of the war.
So we're doing a bit of PR right now to try to get everyone to look at Bobby as an ally. He's not the most comfortable crawling down the street instead of flying, especially with how cramped the road is thanks to the crowds, but he seems to enjoy the positive attention all the same.
Unfortunately Lumír doesn't feel the same way. He seemed interested when we first entered Ylisstol, but as we've continued our procession he started to get overwhelmed. Now he's more or less burrowed into my shirt, hiding himself as best as he can. I pat him on the back and hold him steady as I can without falling off of Bobby's saddle. "It's okay, little man," I soothe my fussy son, "Just a little farther and we'll be done."
Lumír makes a distressed noise that I can barely make out over the noise of the crowds and tries to push his head even further into my stomach. Ah, hell. "Would you feel better if I let one of the girls hold you?" I ask, and am immediately answered with furious head shaking, "No? Okay, well if you change your mind let me know and I can get them."
Thankfully while Lumír is clearly uncomfortable with the parade he stays strong long enough for our procession to reach the base of the hill leading up to the castle, where Bobby has the room to take off without putting anyone at risk. "Sorry, gotta go be a parent now!" I call down to Chrom as we get airborne, gesturing to Lumír as an explanation.
He just chuckles at that and waves the two of us off, before leading the procession the rest of the way up the road to the castle. Meanwhile I head straight for the barracks. It means I'll be missing Chrom's big speech about the end of the war, not to mention his announcement for the royal wedding, but that's part of the parenting deal, right? Gonna have to get used to it.
Really, I've been getting off easy so far as a parent. Too easy, if anything. I've been spending most of my time and attention on Severa, then Diana, with Lumír easily being the kid I have the least amount of time with. Which is… honestly the exact opposite of how it should be.
For all the problems the girls have been dealing with, they don't need me nearly as much as Lumír does. He's been through a lot of the same trauma without nearly the same level of mental fortitude. Despite this I've been letting Severa, Diana, and even Cordelia take on most of the burden of taking care of my son, simply because they seemed like they knew what to do with him. And I don't know the first thing about raising a child this age.
But as Christoph told me before, I'm supposed to be setting a proper example for him. And that means stepping up and figuring this shit out. That's part of the reason I had the girls leave Lumír to me today. So I could start spending more time with him and maybe learn a thing or two about what makes this little guy tick. And wow have I learned a lot about that because this boy is starting to go wild.
"Easy there little man, we're almost done," I soothe as Bobby starts to make his landing. Lumír doesn't show much indication that he's listening to me, scowling heavily and punching at the air. A part of me can't help but be both amused and impressed that he's apparently learned appropriate ways to show frustration while flying. He's clearly getting properly angry now, but still refuses to hit me or Bobby. It's impressive restraint for a four year old.
"Alright, here we are, Bobby, Lumír! Home sweet home!" I make a grandiose gesture to the barracks as Bobby comes to a stop. Then after a moment of reflection I add, "For now, at least. I think between the two of you and the girls I'm going to need to come up with a better living situation for our family."
Am… am I going to have to buy a house? Is that possible in this world's economy? What kind of process do I have to go through to find a place to live that accommodates wyverns and griffons? How much space is that going to take!?
Yeah, I think my old life may have left me with some real-estate related trauma. Damn you, horrible housing market! I'll have to talk with… Maribelle, maybe? No, with her at the helm I'd wind up buying a whole ass estate. Can't count on Chrom or Lissa for this, they've lived in a castle all their lives. Nowi is… no. Robin has no relevant memories to draw on, and Gaius mostly lived on the streets before he became a Shepherd. Surely there's somebody I can talk to in the Shepherds who knows a thing or two about making this kind of big purchase…
Oh fuck, am I gonna have to talk to Anna about this? I'm not sure I'm ready to talk with Anna about spending that kind of money. Considering I've been low-key avoiding her for months now I'm not sure I'm ready to talk to her about anything. Anna is a scary woman with an even scarier family and every time I talk with her it stresses me out.
A jab to my gut knocks me out of my musing and I look down to see Lumír glaring up at me. Ah, I guess now that we're not flying he's decided it's fine to throw hands. "That's not an okay way to get my attention, Lumír," I chide, even as I start unstrapping myself from Bobby's saddle, "I know you're feeling impatient but that doesn't make it okay to hit people."
…And now he's officially gone from being miserable to being a proper brat, punching at me with all the disgruntled rage his tiny arms can muster.
"I'm going to be reviewing punishment routines with the girls if you keep this up, you know?" I say casually, tucking my flailing son under an arm as I try to dismount from Bobby's saddle as smoothly as possible. The only thing that immediately comes to mind is taking his flute away, but considering that flute is rapidly becoming his primary method of communication that would be a step beyond regular punishment. Dangerously close to child abuse in fact; I'd practically be gagging him.
"Well, I'll have to think about how to deal with you later," I comment as I readjust Lumír in my arms and get a smack in the face for my efforts. "Because we are not letting you make a habit of this behavior. For now let's get Bobby set up…" I trail off as I take in the stables by the barracks, which are decidedly not built to be wyvern sized. "…Huh. I suppose until now we've only been staying in makeshift camps or stables built for royalty. Well, as close as they get to royalty in Regna Ferox… Where the heck are we gonna have you sleep?"
Bobby stares quizzically at me, and I let out a long sigh, "God dammit I really am going to have to buy a house, aren't I?" The barracks were fine when I was on my own, and even when my family was just me and Severa, but since the last time I stayed here that family has grown to include two more kids, a wyvern, and a griffon. Plus however the heck Cordelia fits into this dynamic, which is a stressful enough thing to think about when I'm not thinking about buying homes, but now that I am where is she going to fit into this arrangement sweet merciful fuck my life is a mess.
"Everything alright down there?" A voice calls out from one of the barracks windows.
"Oh, just trying to figure out where I'm going to let my wyvern sleep tonight," I reply. Then, after taking a moment to assess how many fucks I have to give right now and finding none, I continue with, "Oh, and also having a mental breakdown."
"You're rather prone to those, aren't you?"
"And you would know, would you?" I look up irritably, only for my ill feelings to vanish as I realize just who has been calling down from the window, "Oh. Felicity. I guess you would know."
"Hello, Sir Benjamin!" Felicity calls down, looking rather amused with me, "If you need help with something I can be right down."
"Uhh… Yeah I suppose I do," I reply lamely, looking between the sullen child in my arms and the wyvern looming next to me.
"One moment!" Felicity darts back inside.
I take a moment while I wait to set Lumír down at my feet. He flails around the whole time, determined to be the biggest brat he can be, I suppose. "Really now, what am I going to do with you?" I mutter to myself as I watch my son angrily tear up the grass at his feet and throw it everywhere, "All this because the parade was too noisy. We left as soon as we could, you know?" I'm answered with a handful of grass thrown at my shoes.
Well, nobody ever said kids were rational. Nobody with any brains, anyways. "At least you're well behaved," I scratch Bobby on the neck affectionately.
Felicity comes out the front of the barracks a short while later, smiling up at me, "You know, they said somebody in the Shepherds had tamed a wyvern. I really should have expected it would be you."
"Yeah, I have a way about me, I suppose. His name is Bobby. Don't let his size fool you, he's a sweetheart."
"Oh I can tell," Felicity beams up at Bobby and starts scratching his head, to his immense pleasure. "I don't know if I ever mentioned it to you, but my family is originally from Roseanne. The country is… was known for their wyvern riders. My great grandmother rode one herself." She explains, seeing my surprised reaction.
"Well, nice to know not everyone I introduce Bobby to is going to go running for their lives at the first sight of him," I say. "I think this little guy is enough of a terror on his own."
Felicity follows my gaze to the toddler sitting at my feet and her eyes go wide, "Oh! Are you babysitting for somebody?"
"No… he's… well to make a long story short, I've adopted more than just Bobby since leaving Ylisstol. This is Lumír," I look down at my son and see that he seems to be behaving better. Not tearing up the grass or trying to hit me anymore. Just staring up at Felicity wide-eyed.
"I see!" Felicity leans down and smiles brightly at Lumír, "Well it's nice to meet you Lumír. My name is Felicity."
Lumír stares at Felicity a moment longer. Then suddenly breaks into tears and grabs my leg, clinging and hiding his face by rubbing snot and tears into my pant leg. Oh, the joys of parenthood.
"Ah geez," I lean down and tousle his hair gently, "I'm sorry about that, he's been in a mood. Didn't like all the noise that everybody was making when we came in."
"Aww, poor little guy," Felicity croons in sympathy, "Maybe we should get him inside and fetch something for him to eat? We made sure the kitchen was properly stocked for you all this time. What do you think Lumír? Would you like some food?"
"What the heck is going on here!?"
Felicity and I straighten up in surprise, and I look up to see Severa storming over to us. "Severa!" I exclaim in surprise, "What are you doing here? You're going to miss Chrom's big speech."
"I wanted to know what was going on with Lumír," Severa snaps back, looking supremely pissed off even as she disentangles Lumír from my leg with the gentlest of care. "Who's this, what did she do?"
"This is a friend of mine, Felicity? I know I've mentioned her before," I explain, "And she didn't do anything. Lumír is just moody because all the noise from earlier upset him."
Severa freezes for a second at my explanation. But only a moment later she straightens out again and is right back to glaring like nothing happened. "That's not why he's upset right now, dumbass," she says flatly, picking up Lumír and letting him weep into her shoulder.
I frown at her tone, stepping forward, "Alright, so how about you tell me what is upsetting him then? Without the attitude."
"How about you figure it out for yourself," Severa snaps at me, walking past Felicity and I and heading into the barracks before I can stop her.
What the fuck was that about?
"I'm so sorry about that. I'm honestly not sure what came over her," I bow my head to Felicity in embarrassment.
Felicity watches after Severa and Lumír with a shocked expression, but rallies quickly at my apology and forces a smile for my sake. "No, don't worry about it!" She replies shaking her head emphatically, "I'm sure she was just being overly protective."
"Was she?" I frown thoughtfully, staring at the barrack doors as they swing shut. Severa can certainly get worked up when she's upset, but that's not what this felt like. There's something else going on here, something to do with Lumír. But what could that be? If it wasn't the parade that upset Lumír so much, then what about our walk through town bothered him so much? And what did Severa pick up on that I seem to be missing?
"…I've really got to get better at this whole parenting thing," I conclude, realizing that I'm not getting anywhere with this thinking. Severa's got much more experience to draw on with her little brother than I do as his father. As long as she's shutting me out I can't do much to understand the problem besides waiting and watching.
"You know, I think it's great to see you doing so well," Felicity says, pulling my attention away from my runaway kids.
"You think I'm doing well?" I blink in surprise, "Can't say I remember the last time somebody accused me of that."
"You are though," Felicity says, a warm smile on her face, "After all the rumors I've heard, I was worried what kind of person you'd be when you got back."
"Not to burst your bubble, but more than a few of those rumors are true," I reply, scratching at my head nervously.
"Oh I figured as much," Felicity shrugs, "My cousin warned me about you, after all. You rather upset him."
"Your cousin- wait Libra talked to you? Recently? He came back? Is he okay?" I look down at Felicity in shock.
"He hasn't returned to Ylisstol, no," Felicity shakes her head, her smile turning sad. "He did send me a letter though. I received it a few weeks ago, though I believe he sent it before the war had ended. He's alive and well, though he said he would not be coming back for a long while. I think what happened with the Exalt upset him greatly. He said he wanted to take some time to travel, and show the world…" She closes her eyes and thinks for a moment, as if trying to recall the exact words, "'Show the world there is a way forward without war and hatred,' I believe he put it."
…Which means that Emmeryn and Libra will not be settling in any one location. Damn! No chance of letting Chrom and Robin arrange to retrieve them then. Though at least I will be able to pass on the news that they safely made it out of Dolgrim. "Well, Libra is a strong man. One of the strongest I've ever met. I'm sure he'll be safe wherever his travels take him."
"As am I," Felicity nods, before giving me a wry smile, "You know, he also told me I should stay far away from you."
"Did he say why?" I reply, curious to know exactly what Libra has to say about me.
"Oh, he didn't go into any details," Felicity shakes her head, "Only that you were 'a duplicitous snake who spat in the face of good and decency for the sake of your own misguided sense of morality,' and that I should stay far away now that your true colors have been unveiled."
All things considered Libra went easy on me with that one.
"Yeah, that's entirely fair," I concede with a heavy sigh, "I acted like a complete and utter scumbag. And Libra's one of the people who had to endure the most as a result of my bullshit. Frankly speaking you would be smart to listen to him."
"Well I suppose I am to be a fool then," Felicity says dismissively.
"No, seriously Felicity, he's telling the truth. I betrayed him. I betrayed all of my friends."
"I do not doubt my cousin's words, Ben. He was never the sort to lie," Felicity shakes her head, "But I will not turn my back on you. You forget, I know what drives you when you are at your lowest. I have seen how you torture yourself with your own weaknesses."
I start to protest. Felicity places a hand on her throat and gives me a meaningful look. That shuts me up with all the force of a brick to the fucking head.
"The night we first properly met," Felicity says upon seeing she has my complete undivided attention, "You hurt me. But I forgave you because I could see that your actions hurt yourself as well, and because I could tell that you were acting not out of malice, but out of deep fear and suffering. I know what drives you to do bad things, Ben. And like before I will not abandon you. I believe that it is my duty as a follower of Naga to face down evil with both strength and compassion. Not to turn my back on it. You have done wicked things. Of that I have no doubt. But that is because you lacked the support you needed to stand tall and do the right thing."
"…Fucking hell, you really have got me figured out, huh?" I say, feeling rather stunned still.
"Our first meeting… taught me rather a lot," Felicity says, with a rather embarrassed smile that quickly grows warm again, "But at any rate, all of this is why I'm so pleased to see you like this now. You certainly had your fair share of troubles, and I know you caused no fair share of harm. But you seem to be doing well now."
"I am. Or… I think I am," I affirm, "It's a work in progress but I think I'm taking steps in the right direction this time."
"I agree," Felicity nods, "The care and attention you are giving your family speaks well of you, Sir Benjamin. Continue to keep them in your mind and I'm sure you will be fine."
A comfortable silence falls between us as we just take a moment to bask in the good vibes. After a moment though Bobby starts to feel neglected and interrupts the conversation, whining for more head scratches.
"Oh!" Felicity laughs, giving in to my needy wyvern's demands for attention, "I suppose we should start by helping find this family member a place to stay, shouldn't we?"
"That would be wonderful," I laugh along.
In the end I manage to arrange for some space in the old Pegasus stables for Bobby, thanks to some expert negotiations from Felicity on my behalf. The stable master was firmly against the idea at first, on the grounds that letting a wyvern stay there would bother the few trained Pegasus the Halidom had left. But Felicity managed to wear him down. Bobby helped. Turns out his devastating charisma works on animals too, so his new roommates already get along with him.
By the time we've sorted that out and returned to the barracks most of the Shepherds have already come back as well, and a celebration is well under way. It turns out that Chrom wasn't the only person with some big announcements to make upon our return. The Shepherds will be celebrating not one, but two weddings.
"Like hell I'm letting our fancy pants prince get the jump on us!" Sully loudly declares, raising a tankard high in the air to raucous cheers from everyone else, "Kellam and I were dating well before those two were, so I say we're going to be the first married couple in the Shepherds!"
"We only started dating a week before them," Kellam points out from the sidelines, a bemused smile on his face. His comment of course goes completely unnoticed.
"You're ready for this then?" I ask, looking over at Kellam curiously.
"Very much so," Kellam replies, a wistful grin on his face, "There were more than a few close calls in Plegia. More than a few times we thought we might never get the chance for this. I don't doubt this will come with its fair share of difficulties but compared to the war we just fought, I think we can handle it. That we have to handle it. Especially if Chrom's worries come true…"
I see the look he's giving me and I nod grimly, "I have every reason to believe they are. So far… everything has gone far too closely to what I know for me to think we'll get lucky and avoid what's coming."
"All the more reason for us not to wait, then," Kellam smiles sadly, looking over at Sully. She's standing on a table in the middle of the room, easily soaking in the attention of the other Shepherds. As if sensing Kellam's gaze she looks over to him with a carefree grin… which falters a little as she notices who her now-fiancé is talking to.
Yeah… she's still not happy with me.
"She's trying her best," Kellam says, noting her less than thrilled expression, "She really is. But it's not an easy thing to move past. Sully is a very passionate person. And that makes it hard for her to let go sometimes."
"You don't have to defend her, Kellam," I reply quietly, "I really don't blame her. I'm still too mad at myself to begrudge anyone else their opinions."
Kellam reflects on that for a while, before finally deciding to just get straight to the point, "She doesn't want you at the wedding."
"…Oh," I say dumbly.
"I've talked to her about it; I know how much it means to Chrom that we all stand united right now. But still, she…"
"Don't… don't feel like you have to push her too hard," I force out despite the twisting feeling in my gut, "I… I want to be there for you guys, but if you don't want me there…"
"No, Ben, it's not-"
"You said it yourself, man," I cut him off with a sad smile, "You talked to her for Chrom's sake. Not mine."
Kellam winces at that, looking aside, "…I suppose I did say that, didn't I?"
"Yeah… well, like I said, I'm not holding it against anyone else. I'm not too happy with me right now either."
"I'm still sorry. I guess I need some more time myself," Kellam frowns, "For what it's worth, I still do consider you a friend. I just…"
"Seriously, it's fine," I cut him off firmly. This is getting much too depressing considering what's going on around us. I think it's time for a diversion, "Look, this isn't the time to talk about this. You're getting married! Why are you standing around here feeling sorry for yourself with me when you should be celebrating? Get in there!"
Kellam makes to say something, but I plant a hand on his back and shove him with enough force to send him stumbling into the crowd, bellowing loudly enough to be heard over the merrymaking, "Let's not forget about our groom-to-be, everyone!"
There's a chorus of cheers, and Kellam is practically carried up to stand on the table next to Sully. He looks back in my direction, but Sully is quick to shove a drink into his hands and soon he's forgotten all about me. The happy couple raises their tankards high, and the rest of the Shepherds cheer in response, and soon everyone's back to celebrating the upcoming weddings like they should be. No more of my drama dragging the mood down.
And you know what? That includes my own mood. Screw the drama, these are happy times! Weddings rule! Well actually they're a colossal pain in the ass but at least they're a pain in the ass for a good cause! So I don't see any reason why I shouldn't celebrate.
"Well, if it isn't Ben!"
Ah. I didn't see the reason because the reason was sneaking up on me. "Anna!" I say with as much false-cheerfulness as I can muster, "Long time no speak!"
"Uh huh, really selling the enthusiasm there pal," Anna says flatly, clapping a hand to my shoulder, "Don't feel like you have to fall back into old habits just to spare my feelings. Honesty is the best policy, remember? Not like I didn't know already that you were avoiding me like the plague. How unfortunate for you that your time as an escapee is over. You and I are going to see my family tomorrow, bright and early. War's over, we're back in Ylisstol, you're not being attacked or treated like a pariah, and they've been waiting to talk to you about your situation for months now. It's time."
"…I don't suppose I'd be able to get out of this by saying I don't want to go home anymore, would I?" I ask hopefully.
"Is that true?" Anna raises a skeptical eyebrow.
"… I don't actually know. Things have been such a clusterfuck lately I haven't had time to think about it properly," I admit.
"That's a load of pegasus dung and you know it," Anna shoots my excuse down irritably, "You haven't thought about it for the same reason you've been avoiding me for so long: you're scared to make up your mind about going home and you're running away from the problem. Not that it matters. You'd be attending this meeting whether you wanted to go home or not."
Wow, I feel fucking exposed. "Ever consider the possibility that I was just avoiding you because you're crazy scary?" I deflect, doing my level best not to show how much that rather accurate analysis of my character stung to hear.
"Flattery will get you nowhere!" Anna chuckles flirtatiously, her hand tightening on my shoulder with the strength of a vice. Her eyes gleam dangerously, practically demanding my attention, "Look, the fact is, my family has an interest in you now. So you're coming with me tomorrow and they're going to figure out just what your deal is. Because we called in one of the more… isolated members of my family and she thinks there's something dangerous going on with you."
"Whatever she thinks, everything I knew that could be classified as dangerous is out in the open now, okay?" I attempt to shrug Anna's hand off, to no avail.
"And what about the things you don't know?" Anna says, dropping all pretence of playfulness and giving me a serious look, "What about your situation? What brought you here? Your purpose in this world?"
"My… purpose?" I stare blankly at her.
Anna winces, letting go of my shoulder. "I've said too much," She mutters, before focusing on me again, "And I don't know much compared to certain members of my family anyways. You want to know more, then feel free to take it up with my family tomorrow."
"I refuse. Have your secret meeting without me," I say flatly.
"Not an option," Anna shoots back, looking every bit as serious.
"Says who?"
"Says me. I'm fully capable of kicking your ass if you don't play along, you know?"
"I'm fully capable of giving you enough trouble for the Shepherds to notice and save me."
"No you aren't. Why are you being so difficult about this?"
I give Anna an incredulous look at that, "Anna, the last time we talked about your family you said they were talking about killing me. Why the fuck would I willingly go into the territory of a group like that?"
"Territory," Anna snorts, "You're talking about us like we're some kind of crime family."
"You're the closest thing this world has to a mega-corp, which makes you worse," I reply irritably.
"Whoa now, we're not that bad!" Anna blinks in surprise. "We're not interested in global monopolies, okay? The only thing we monopolize is inter-dimensional knowledge."
"Interdimensional monopolies are easily worse than global monopolies, you know?" I point out with a smug grin.
"You're just screwing with me now," Anna pouts.
"Little bit," I admit, "But that doesn't change the fact that I'm not going to meet with your big family of people who want to hurt me."
"I'd think you'd be used to meeting with people who want to hurt you by now," Anna fires back with a scowl.
Oh. That actually stung a little. "Fuck you," I reply eloquently.
It's at this point that Cordelia suddenly appears at my side, and I realize this conversation has apparently been drawing some attention. "I apologize for interrupting, but I couldn't help but notice things looked to be getting a bit heated over here," Cordelia says, looking between the two of us, "Is everything alright with you two?"
"Couldn't be better!" Anna says, suddenly all smiles, "Ben and I were just discussing our little trip tomorrow."
"Still not going," I protest.
"What kind of trip is this?" Cordelia asks, focusing her attention on Anna.
"Well, I'm taking him to visit my family to discuss…" Anna catches herself, realizing she can't tell Cordelia what's going on without revealing entirely too much about her family, "… Personal matters."
Well that's just unacceptably open to interpretation. "My personal matters, to be specific," I interject, "She thinks her family might know something about my home. Maybe even how I ended up in this world."
Cordelia's eyes go wide at that, "Anna's family has knowledge of the mythical Outrealm Gate?"
"Ben…" Anna growls in warning.
"If you didn't want certain information getting out there then you shouldn't have started this conversation at a fucking party," I reply, bulldozing over her concerns.
Anna winces at that, looking around at the crowded room. Sure enough, while most of the Shepherds are still preoccupied with drinking, there are more than a few curious glances being sent our way.
"Fine, I'll pay you to show up, just play along so we can drop the subject," Anna says, giving me a slightly desperate look.
"I'm a General of the Halidom, money isn't much of an incentive," I point out, silently revelling in the fact as I say it.
"Well what do you want then?" Anna says, not bothered in the slightest, "I've got connections like you wouldn't believe, I can make things happen."
I only need to think on it for a moment, "I need a house."
"A house?" Anna blinks at that, "You want me to get you a house?"
"Preferably outside of Ylisstol, but close enough we can easily ride in for shopping. It needs to have a stable large enough to comfortably house Bobby and King, with four bedrooms."
"Five bedrooms," Cordelia interjects.
"Five bedrooms?" I look at Cordelia in confusion.
"Five bedrooms," Cordelia confirms.
"A house like that would be pretty pricey…" Anna says, "I can find a place that meets your needs, but I can't just give you a place like that."
"Money is no object," I say, focusing back on Anna with extreme force of will, "You find the place, I'll attend the meeting tomorrow."
Anna frowns, the gears of her mind visibly turning. After a moment, she nods to herself and looks back to me, "Done." She holds up a hand, I shake it, and she declares in a no-nonsense tone, "Sunrise tomorrow. With how early you always get up for training that shouldn't be a problem for you. And now that that's settled, I need to get to work."
Anna whirls in place, making a beeline for the exit. And with that distraction out of the way I immediately focus my thoughts back on the more pressing issue. "Five bedrooms?" I say dumbly, my head snapping back to face Cordelia with such sharpness it's a wonder I don't throw out my neck.
"Of course," Cordelia replies, looking entirely unbothered. "You, Severa, Diana, Lumír, and myself."
"Bwuh?" Truly I am a master of eloquence right now. Well done, me.
"You said yourself that we need to work together for the sake of the children," Cordelia points out, "We can hardly do so if I am living on the opposite side of town from the rest of you."
"Um," I gulp.
"I'm glad to hear you agree," Cordelia smiles and pats me on the arm, "I look forward to hearing all about your meeting tomorrow." She walks away with that, looking nothing but confident as she rejoins the party.
"What?" I finally manage an actual word. Good job, me! Just take it one step at a time and we can maybe process that Cordelia just- nope, still baffled.
I stare into the crowd dumbly for a while. At one point Gaius meets my eye. He shoots me a thumbs up, a shit-eating grin plastered across his face. He already knows what's going on; that means my entire friend circle will know what's going on by the end of the night. Possibly the entirety of the Shepherds. Which will leave me as the only person who doesn't, because seriously, what!?
I've said it before and I'll say it again: parties are just not good for my mental health.
Cordelia wasn't going to be in that last scene originally. Cordelia took exception to that. Cordelia is now in charge of my fic, apparently.
SO yeah, long wait, I know. I apologize for that, everyone. It's definitely a mix of a lot of things. The fic is in that dreaded time skip period that seems to stall out a lot of Awakening fics I've seen. My Pokemon fic continues to explode with popularity and draws more of my attention as a result. My mental health is the lowest it's been in... let's just say a while. My work schedule continues to reach stunning new lows in stability. Just... there's a lot going on for me right now. I long for the day I can give you guys monthly updates again, but it's just not possible for me at present.
That being said, I have a better idea now of how the next couple of arcs before Valm are going to go, so things should go smoother for the next chapter. Probably. Until that time though, I hope you continue to read and review!
And as always, I invite you all to join on the Fanfiction Treehouse discord. A great place for anyone looking to improve their skills as a writer/geek out about stuff. Now with a new link, so don't try using the old one, it doesn't work anymore!
discord .gg/u89gs745fn