The roar of an engine ripped Chase out of his sleep and when he looked at the clock, he was more than a little confused; 5 A.M. But he knew that motor, he couldn't ignore it. Movement came from his side and Chase looked lovingly down at the husky sleeping next to him and kissed her on the cheek and got up and left, stretching his hind legs and trying to wake up.
The lookout doors slid open with a low swishing sound and the early morning greeted him as the cool wind hit his muzzle and he shivered. Ryder was strapping down his suitcase to the back of his ATV when Chase reached him.
"Where are you going, Ryder?"
Ryder turned and smiled briefly at Chase, "Hey bud." His smile faded. "My grandmother is in the hospital and I need to go to Adventure City to be with her and my family."
Chase grimaced at this. "I'm sorry, that sounds like a hard situation."
"Whatever happens, I have faith that it will be ok. I was actually going to talk to you before I left."
"Oh, did you need something?"
Ryder's face turned serious as he took in Chase. "We need to discuss the changes that are going to happen until I get back."
Chase stood a little taller. "Ryder, before you say anything, I'm feeling much better and what happened yesterday was a one-time thing, you can trust me while you're gone, I will keep everything in order."
"I'm sorry Chase, but I can't let you do that."
Chase's ears fell and he looked up to Ryder helplessly. "What?"
"Chase, last mission was a warning for me. You're not ready yet. And I can't afford to not trust you during a mission or leading the team by yourself while I'm gone."
"No, no, Ryder, please! I'll train harder, I can do this!"
"I can't afford another mistake, Chase. Your suspension will be temporary, trust me, it won't be forever."
"Suspension?" he gasped, "but I'm trying Ryder, doesn't that count for anything? Do you not see how hard I'm working, what else can I possibly do?"
Ryder crossed his arms. "That's why I'm suspending you, Chase. I do see how hard your working, but your progress isn't enough. You're not stable right now. And your behavior during the last mission made me doubt if you'll be able to handle the stress of rescuing at all."
Chase's face flushed and his ears burned and began to ring. "You don't get to tell me what I can and can't handle."
"As your owner, and leader, I can, if it what's best for you." He knelt down and reached out a hand. "Chase, you need to accept the fact that you may never be fit enough to rescue anymore. God forbid it, but if that day comes, I want you to be prepared for it."
"No!"
"Chase-"
"This wouldn't be happening if I didn't have this equipment, I would have been fine without the surgery." Chase took several steps back from Ryder.
"There's no way of knowing that, Chase."
"You never gave me a choice! Did you even ask the doctors how it would affect me the rest of my life?"
"That's enough!" Ryder got to his feet and glared down at the Shepherd. "I did what was best for you. You can walk. Others without the surgery, with the damage you sustained, cannot. Now, are you done, or would you rather me extend your suspension?"
Chases vision turned red and a growl rumbled up his throat and slipped through his clenched teeth before he pressed his lips together.
Letting out a hot breath, Chase jogged back inside, as Ryder's words weighed down what remained of his hope. It shook him to his core, the terrifying reality he was left with if Ryder was right.
The door to his room creaked open and the hallway lights covered the corner of his and Everest's bed, he dragged his paws over to his side and slowly got under the covers. He took his place by Everest and whined and nudged her with his snout. She responded and moved toward him; lucidity or not, it was a repetitive motion at this point. Her arms wrapped around his chest, one staying there while the other wondered down and rested on his stomach and her claws tickled as they scratched under his fur. Chase let out a sigh as she pulled him into her chest and rested her muzzle between his ears.
He would usually be asleep by now, but with Ryder's words still fresh in his mind, his blood boiled and he let out hot breaths. He squeezed his eyes shut, afraid to release the deeper pain lying underneath.
A growl rumbled in his throat. Nothing else made him feel as helpless as his equipment. The mattress moved again and Everest pulled his shoulder closer to him. She was gentle and pulled him until his muzzle was buried in her chest and he looked up to her with hopeless eyes.
"It's ok, Chasey." Her words, although sleep drunk, broke through the flames and her frosty blue eyes opened partly, chilling his blood, dowsing the flames and releasing the pain buried underneath the flames.
Letting out shaky breaths he let his tears spill out onto her soft fur and cried until he was empty, and all of his pain soaked into the mattress and Everest's fur. Taking in deeper breaths he focused solely on her scent and the rise and fall of her chest as she slept. He stayed like this until the sun came up.
He watched affectionately as she stirred from her slumber and opened her eyes to a brand-new day. The same bright blue shinned with optimism and love as she met his eyes. Crawling out of the tangle of blankets, Everest stretched her body, placing her forepaws in front of her and leaned back with her hind end and tail in the air.
"You feeling any better, Chasey?" she said, letting out a yawn.
Chase nodded slowly, tired. "Better now that you're awake."
Everest nuzzled into the side of his neck and Chase felt his energy levels rise at the touch.
"Is Ryder up?" she paused expectantly.
"He left two hours ago. I didn't have the heart to wake you, you looked too peaceful."
Everest raised an eyebrow. "Watching me sleep again, officer?"
Chase gave her a weak smile. "Guilty."
Everest moved closer to the Sheperd and leaned closer to him.
"How can I ever repay you for standing guard while I slept?"
"Well. . ." Chase looked down to his paws and peaked up at her. Before he could answer she seemed to read his mind and kissed him on the lips.
Chase wobbled back and forth slowly as he let out a content sigh. "Just one?"
"You can have more," she said, leaning close, her breath hitting his face and she grabbed a pillow off of their bed and smothered it into his muzzle. "After you eat breakfast."
She walked off with a swish in her tail and nosed the door open. Chase was to hypnotized to do anything but follow. Reaching the kitchen, which was still asleep, they made it to their bowls and nudged them towards the food dispenser.
"How long will Ryder be gone?" Everest asked.
"A month. He said the situation with his grandmother was pretty dire. He probably wouldn't have told any of us if I hadn't woken up. He left a note on the refrigerator."
"So, you'll be leading everyone for a whole month?" she said, smiling at him.
Chase frowned and froze mid step, gazing into his empty bowl. "Marshall."
"What?" Everest tilted her head.
"He left Marshall in charge."
Everest let her mouth fall open and she tried to speak but hesitated. "What did he say to you?"
His frown deepened and Chase felt his skin crawl underneath his fur as embers began to float in his blood. He avoided saying anything for a reason. "He told me that until my suspension was over and he cleared me for duty, Marshall would be leading the team."
"He suspended you?"
Chase nodded and she went quiet for a second until she looked up to him. She was worried, he could smell her change in mood.
"Maybe that's not the worst thing to happen, Chase. He wouldn't have done that if he didn't think it was necessary."
Chase scowled. "Don't tell me you're taking his side. Everest please, you know he is being overprotective. Do you not believe in me either?"
"No, of course I do, It's just."
"Just what?"
"You're pushing yourself too hard. You need a break, what happened last mission was not an accident."
"Are you serious?" Chase said, wide eyed. "It was my first mission back, of course I would make some mistakes. That is no reason to suspend me."
"Baby, don't do that. We both know it wasn't that simple."
A growl ripped from his chest and he stomped his paw down. "Stop treating me like a basket case. You think anyone else would have reacted differently, with all of the smells and sounds? Any one of us would have been overwhelmed."
Everest reached a paw out to hold him but he shrugged it off. "Baby, it's ok that you got overwhelmed after you were triggered like that, it's nothing to be ashamed of, please. But Ryder wants what's best for you. More stress, more stuff on your plate may only make things worse."
Chase trembled and his eyes began to burn. "I can still rescue." he whimpered a hollow whine. "Stop treating me differently. Like I'm broken. I'm still the same."
Everest rushed over and placed a paw against his chest, moving rhythmically with his shallow breaths. "Hey." She looked him in the eyes. "You are still you, Chase, of course. But whether you want to admit it or not, you are not the same as you used to be."
Chase stiffened and his vision blurred as tears welled up that he couldn't blink away fast enough. He half turned away from her, squeezing his eyes shut to keep the salty moisture inside.
Everest wrapped him up in her loving arms, nuzzling her snout into his neck. "It's ok, baby. Let it out."
It was worse now. Everything was. Everest was more worried than ever, and her words cut him to his core. Beyond all of the pain and frustration, he was terrified, terrified that she might be right. That everyone might be right about him.
No.
Stop.
He was still strong. He wasn't broken, and it was unacceptable and demeaning to be treated as such.
"You should eat, baby."
He shrugged off his mate's comforting grasp and walked deeper into the kitchen. Nothing about today was starting off good. He growled to himself as he nosed his bowl over to the automated food dispenser and pushed the bright blue button, inscribed with the paw patrol logo, and filled up his bowl. The bright light of the button seemingly taunting him, brighten up, it seemingly said.
Bite me.
The lookout doors opened and multiple sets of paws came clicking in for breakfast.
"Where's Wyder?" Zuma said, looking into his empty bowl and then to the others.
"Left," Chase mumbled, in a trance like state, fixated on his food bowl.
Rubble, after filling his own bowl, moved over to Chase's left, about to dig in when he looked into the kitchen. "There's a note on the fridge."
He pranced over to the note and read it allowed. "Good morning pups. My grandmother is in critical condition at the hospital in Adventure City and I don't know how long I'll be down here. But I will update you all later tonight. Until I'm back, Marshall will be in charge. Behave yourselves and listen to him. All of my love, Ryder."
"I hope evewything will be ok, I can't believe he left Mawshall in charge," Zuma said, looking at Rubble.
Chase returned to his food, avoided the eyes he figured were on him and begrudgingly ate his food, biting down harder than necessary.
Skye and Rocky were the next ones up, and after the usual good mornings, after they were filled in about Ryder's absence, they too began to eat. Rocky's presence was ignored by Chase, who was fighting off the urge to start gnawing on his bowl to see if he could chew through it.
Everest brushed against him and scooted her bowl extra close to his, and true to her word, gave him a kiss on the cheek at the sight of his almost empty bowl.
Marshall was the last one up.
Everyone ate in silence, the tension in the room becoming more apparent as they seemed to read the room, and Chase's face.
Upon finishing eating, Marshall cleared his throat. "Listen pups, I know we are all worried about Ryder and his family, but it is up to us to take care of Adventure Bay while he is gone. Now, he left me in charge, and I want you to know that things will stay pretty much the same, and those of us still on active duty." He paused and peeked nervously at Chase. "Those of us still active will be handling rescues. I know it's a lot to let sink in but if Ryder thinks it is best than we have to roll with it."
"Was that on purpose?" Skye said, giggling and leaning on Rocky.
After seemingly thinking about it for a second Marshall face palmed. "Oh." And rolled his eyes with a smile. Until ringing drifted downstairs, coming from the computer upstairs and every pup grew tense and looked to Marshall.