The wind was howling outside, large gusts cleaning the streets of fallen leaves and rubbish. Kate sat at the window, a steaming cup of coffee resting on the windowsill. She was waiting for Yelena to come back from a mission, to be with her once more. Staring into her drink, Kate swallowed the lump in her throat and looked to the night sky. It was surprisingly black, barely any light pollution, and the stars twinkled, almost like they were letting her know that it wouldn't be long. Kate knew she needed to sleep eventually but she wanted to be there for Yelena when she got back, she wanted to hold her close, press soft kisses to her head and let her know it was going to be alright.
Yelena came home a little after two in the morning, covered in blood, almost panicking. Taking Yelena's hand in her own, Kate silently led them to the bathroom, hoping and praying that none of the blood was Yelena's. Hearing the pleading in Yelena's voice to help her out of the clothing, Kate did what was asked and made sure Yelena was physically okay. She knew not to ask what happened, not yet anyway. She could see Yelena trying to think of what to say, how to define it, the gears in her brain turning, trying to find the right words to use.
Kate could see the pain and the heart ache in Yelena's green eyes, she could see how much the mission affected her. Gently cupping Yelena's face in her hand, Kate wiped away the stray tears and guided Yelena into the shower, the warm water running over her body. Kate hoped that it would help, that it would wash away some of the pain, and whatever pain was left, she was there to hold Yelena in her arms, wipe away any tears, and show her how much she loved her.
"Is it in my hair?" Yelena softly asked, watching as the blood that was on her body ran down the drain.
"Turn around, wet your hair, we'll wash it anyway," Kate gently replied, helping Yelena to wet it thoroughly.
Gently shampooing and conditioning Yelena's hair, Kate could feel Yelena begin to shake under her touch.
Kate loved Yelena with her whole heart, every heartbeat beat for the woman she loved. When things got tough, Kate was always a shining light in the darkness, there to help Yelena pull herself out of whatever hole she had fallen into. Kate wanted to make everything okay, she wanted Yelena to be safe, to talk to her, and when she did Kate would listen and promise to help her chase away the monster that haunted her.
"Turn around my love, I'll wash your back," Kate said, moving Yelena's hair out of the way and taking the loofah.
Hearing Yelena softly sigh, Kate helped her to wash the soap suds off her body, leaving her clean.
Turning the shower off, Kate wrapped Yelena up in the fluffiest towel she could find. Silence hung between them, the sound of the bathroom fan loud in the ceiling as a single tear rolled down Yelena's cheek and landed on the vanity.
Kate wanted nothing more than to see Yelena smile, to be the one to put that smile on her face. She knew it would take time but when it happened, she would be there to see it, to kiss her and hold her, and smile alongside her.
Kate sometimes wished that she could go into the past and protect Yelena from all the things that hurt her, all the people that hurt her. She wanted to take the pain away, bury it so no one would ever find it. Kate knew that some days the pain was too much for Yelena. She could see Yelena shut down, and it took all she had to help her come back.
Kate loved Yelena more than anything in the world and the thought of losing her made her stomach twist into knots and bile run up the back of her throat. Kate now understood what Clint said when the best shot he took was the one he didn't take.
Kate was forever thankful that she never took that shot at Yelena. She had it lined up perfectly but when she looked at Yelena she instantly knew something was different between them. If she took the shot, she knew the pain would consume her and she wouldn't be able to breathe.
Hearing Yelena suck in a deep breath as a sob wracked her body, Kate pulled her close and held her, listening to what she was saying between each sob. Hearing the story of what happened, Kate pulled Yelena closer, pressing a kiss to her temple. She could have lost Yelena tonight and the thought of that happening was too much for her.
"It all happened so fast, there was nothing I could do," Yelena said, burying her head in Kate's neck.
"I'm here whenever you're ready," Kate replied, rubbing soothing circles into her back.
"It was meant to be simple… get the hard drive and get out but he… he was in the office, and… and… he was with a woman… it looked like he was hurting her… I went to protect her and… and… she was familiar, a Black Widow, but he pulled a gun… blew her brains out… I felt the blood spatter all over me…"
"I'm so sorry you had to witness that, I'm so sorry baby," Kate replied, not knowing what to say as she held Yelena a little closer, pressing a warm kiss to her temple.
Leading them out of the bathroom and to the bedroom, Kate helped Yelena get dressed while listening to what she had to say. Lying down on the bed, Yelena wrapped in her arms, Kate just listened and offered comfort when she could. After a while the sobs turned into soft hiccups and Kate was there for her the whole way, rubbing soft circles into her back while letting her know how much she was loved. When Yelena lowered her walls, Kate knew she needed her to help scare the monsters away that haunted her and tonight she was going to be the light in the darkness, the calm she knew the woman she loved needed.
"I love you," Kate softly whispered into Yelena's hair as Yelena fell asleep in her arms, tear tracks streaked along her cheeks.