Chapter Five: Choices of Mine
Disclaimer: I do not own Rick Riordan's
Percy Jackson and the Olympians
and the Heroes of Olympus Series, and I do not
own the songs I put into this book either.
I only own my fan made characters and of course
the plot line.
Added Songs – In Order of Appearance
No songs added in this chapter.
~Author's Note~
So it's been a while but I've finally had some free time to write. With school and life, it's been pretty difficult to find time to write but I got this written for ya, and other things too. A sincerest apology for not posting sooner but I hope you like this chapter. Love you all. Please Enjoy.
It had been a rough time for Percy...
After crying his heart out on his father's shoulder, breaking down in a fit of tears and loneliness, he looked at himself in the mirror, an air of relief, as though a weight had been lifted off his shoulders as he was embraced in the wondrous calm.
He held it all in, buried the monsters inside himself and let them consume him from the inside and they finally escaped... and they faded.
He was in a river of stillness, a never-ending calm that washed over him and for some time, washed away his troubles, even if it was only for a short time.
He took in his dishevelled, hobo like appearance. His matted shaggy hair, soulless green eyes that were dull and empty and his beard, outgrown and made him resemble a monster.
He did not recognize the man in the mirror...
He had nowhere to go... to confide in and lean on to share the burden with. His dad didn't understand everything... he couldn't confide everything to his father.
There was one person he could confide in...
He glanced out his window and took note of the time of day, or night he should say, and the rolling clouds that were coming in but it didn't bother him all that much.
He stepped into his shower and let the pain wash away, let the dirt on his skin be scrubbed away as he felt the water for a time, cleanse him of his self hatred and hurt. He hated himself for being a fool but for the first time, he was forgiving himself.
He couldn't have known that the person he was falling in love with was not who she said she was...
He pushed the thought away as he washed everything away and stepped out the shower and neatly wrapped the towel around his frame as he headed to the bedroom to get dressed and looked at himself again in the mirror.
He still looked like a stranger to himself... but he could see a change in himself... the familiarity he had lost.
He would get his hair trimmed and cut the beard... he wanted to embrace who he was, a wiser version of the simple minded fool he was that fell in love with the first person he'd met that he connected with.
He didn't know if hed ever be with someone again... after her, but he hoped one day he would be able to open his heart to someone else and get a fresh chance...
He didn't know if it would be here in New York...
He was considering moving, or just travelling for a long time.
He needed to escape... forget this place.
One day he'd forgive his family... he hoped...
And maybe one day he'd forgive her for breaking his heart and breaking him.
He put a shirt on, black and black jeans with a black hoodie and black cap, a sad thought crossing his mind as he realised he was Thalia's boyfriend Nico, adopting the black goth color, and it made him smile sadly.
He hadn't spoken to Nico in a long time... because of Thalia, but there was nothing he could do now...
Except learn to try move on and forgive those who wronged him.
He went out the back way, avoiding the very few lingering stalkers that wanted to snap a photo of Annabeth Chase's secret boyfriend...
he walked... just walked to the cemetery.
Other ran through the rain which started to pour and soak his clothes, not that it bothered him very much. He grew up loving water, and so he didn't mind it.
He walked with a small, barely visible smile as he thought about how long it had been since he stepped out his apartment...
He took note of all the familiar things he saw each day that had changed...
The Chinese restaurant was closed for reservations...
The elder couple that had been married almost fifty years running the little shop he bought stuff from... the man wasn't there anymore... the woman was there with a young man that was hugging her, in her hand was an order of service for the funeral for the old man...
Whenever Percy went in, the old man used to tell him to keep whatever he got that made him smile so brightly... cause that kind of smile was a one of a kind smile that only came when you found the one.
He would have to see her sometime and give her a hug... losing the one you love is never easy... especially if you had them for as long as that woman had her husband...
He took note of new bar that opened and people flocked the drinking well to drown their sorrows in self pity.
He glanced in the alley and found that same old cat he always saw there, except it had kittens and it made him stop and look at them with sadness...
That mother was skinny and sickly but was taking care of pretty healthy looking kittens...
It made him miss his mom.
He hadn't spoken to her since the day he found out the truth... and that his mother knew about the lie.
He looked away and pulled out his phone and messaged the local shelter about the cat and her litter in a turned over dustbin.
He continued along and looked at the hospital not far from the cemetery and saw the quietness... no one had gotten hurt like he had been tonight so that was good.
He silently walked across the empty and quiet road and entered the cemetery and made his way over to Reyna's grave and sat down in front of it with a sad smile.
He felt ashamed that he hadn't come to see her in so long. It immediately made him apologize to her with a headshake.
"Sorry I've been an asshole and haven't come to see you... but things have been... complicated... I wish I had a level head like you to deal with those situations Rey." He said with a soft and sad smile as he reached over and traced her name, "I miss you so very much Rey. Not a day has gone by and I haven't missed you... you were the best thing that ever happened to me... and I just... I wish you were here to help me figure this out... but I probably know what you'd say to me. You only have one mom, one cousin like Thals and Jason... don't let this pull you away when you fought so hard for them... but how can I do that given what they did..." He whispered as he looked down as the rain washed over his frame.
The silence was familiar... it had been every time he came to her grave, but he could always hear her voice in his mind. She was the wisest person he knew and he truly was grateful to have had her in his life.
"I really wish you were here Rey, but I promise to try and make you proud Reyna." He said with a soft voice as he sat there and smiled a genuine smile for the time in a long time.
He sat there and enjoyed the rainy night, and the water that washed over his frame as he looked up to the sky and closed his eyes.
The sky knew his pain when it cried but for the first time, it was happy for him and helped him wash away some of the burdens he was carrying.
He stayed there for a while before he got up, feeling the nipping chill of the wind and water on his skin, and headed towards the other entrance since the other had been closed but froze when he looked at a newly buried person's grave but saw a body on the ground.
He called out to the person but go no response and headed towards the person but his eyes widened when he saw the frame laying on the ground.
He almost didn't recognise her with her short hair and her pale, blue, ghostlike skin.
Before him was Annabeth Chase, and she didn't look like she was alive.
He knelt down beside her, wincing when he saw the glass around her and touched her cold and clammy skin and hissed. She was ice, and his hand found her pulse point, and fuck did he freak out when he felt a slow, almost fading pulse. Her chest barely moving... she almost looked dead.
He shook her, her name leaving his lips in a panic when she didn't stir.
He didn't hesitate to scoop her up in his arms and run...
He ran as quick as he could, not caring when a car screeched to a holt when he raced across the road to the hospital and called for help...
Percy could have left when he dropped her off... but he found that he could not physically leave.
This woman may have lied to him but... but part of him still loved and cared for her, even if she was not who she was... but had done his research later on... they really weren't very different... Anna Olympia was Annabeth Chase and Annabeth Chase was Anna Olympia, the only difference was her hair, eyes and her job...
It still didn't make her deceit any easier to deal with.
But he did not leave the hospital... not until he knew she was okay...
Annabeth stared at Percy in shock and surprise...
She was stunned silent by his sudden appearance.
Over the last six months she had wondered what had happened to Percy as he had not been seen for a while... and yet here he was, present in her room, as real as the pain of her aching heart that was all but screaming as the events slowly registered in her silent stupor.
Her mouth was open, she was gasping for air, like a dying fish out of water, feeling as though she were naked in a glass case on display.
She was exposed for who she really was to the eye of the beholder.
Percy Jackson was seeing her for the first time as herself since that day... and he didn't look angry and heartbroken like he had that day her secret had been revealed...
His eyes shone with a barely palpable twilight of concern in his pale green eyes... noting the sparkle that had once been there was completely gone... the life in his eyes was gone.
"You're probably wondering where you are?" He said softly, breaking the silence that was so thick it could be disrupted by the sound of a tear drop landing on the ground.
Annabeth, still more silent than a mute nodded, still wondering where she was and how she had gotten here.
"I was in the cemetery by... by Reyna's grave..." Percy seemed like he almost couldn't believe he was speaking to her as if they were having a normal conversation, "It was raining and... and as I was leaving, I found you on the ground by... by Luke Castellan's grave. You were out cold. I... I thought you were dead." He whispered softly to her as he diverted his eyes so she couldn't keep staring into them.
She gulped as she bit her bottom lip and looked down and realised she was in a hospital bed, a needle in the back of her hand, a hospital gown around her frame as she rubbed her arm, the dull ache in her brain growing intensely, feeling like more and more nails were breaking through her skull and exploding a series of landmines in her brain that made her wince.
She was so lost in her own head that she didn't register Percy's voice as he spoke up, his eyes looking into her own that were distant and lost in their own reality as she swayed, the pain registering.
She felt dizzy, like she was going to be sick.
"I just... I'm sorry... I just couldn't take anything anymore... he killed himself and it was my fault... I'm a pathetic coward who everyone else wishes as dead and wished I was in that grave, not him..." She said as tears started rolling down her cheeks as the memories started coming back. "No one wants me anymore... no one wants me anymore..." She said as she started trembling.
She had that sensation of something crawling up her throat, making her cheeks bloated as she covered her mouth, eyes watering as she tried to force what was crawling up back down but there was no stopping it. It was forbidding her from winning the epic fight as she waved her free arm.
Within moments before she started being sick, a silver dish like thing was placed in front of her and she grabbed it and thrust it towards her face as she violently started being sick.
This was her body's way of de-toxing. She knew that, and it was because the alcohol she had consumed in her foolishness, having been blinded by heartache in its most deadly form. Loneliness doesn't always make the heart grow fonder, if anything, it makes it worse as they spend it's time missing someone they know doesn't miss them.
She was shocked as she felt a hand ghosting the bare skin that was exposed due to the back of her hospital gown not being done up, and the touch was so familiar...
It was Percy's hand.
She felt weak and vulnerable and exposed as he took care of her in that single moment, and made sure she was truly okay. She heard his soft and gentle voice, reassuring and kind, telling her that everything was going to be perfectly alright.
It felt like forever, like she was pouring her entire soul out in a single action, to the point that it was getting hard to breathe. Tears, agonizing tears poured down her face, her eyes burning from emotion and pain as she gasped and choked and tried to breathe, a whimper leaving her lips as she begged for relief.
As if by the grace of God himself, he was granted a reprieve as she fell back onto her bed and trembled violently, gasping and trembling as she tried to relax..
Through her blurred senses, she felt a hand encompass her hand and squeeze it as a cold cloth was dapped on her forehead. She could barely register what was being said, but she heard words, "...Be... right... It will... okay..." She heard Percy say as she groaned in pure and complete agony.
"Nothing will ever be alright..." She said as tears rolled down her cheek as she looked away, "I've lost everything... I lost my family. I've lost my friends... I lost you... and it was all my own fault." She said as she as she looked away so she didn't see how hard Percy's eyes turned.
"I may hate you for what you did to me Annabeth... you deceived me... you manipulated me and made me fall in love with someone who wasn't real..." He said with a firm look in his eye, "But that doesn't mean you aren't the same woman you made me believe you were." He said as his face softened, but not by much.
Annabeth looked at Percy with confusion in her eyes, "What do you mean?" She asked softly.
"I know you and Anna were both identical... you are the same person. If she overcame adversity, so can you." He said as he pulled his hand away and wiped her forehead in a soft and tender manner which was marred by the seriousness of his facial expression, "That woman taught me that strength within comes by forgiving yourself and realising your mistakes and the error of your ways. Since the day I learned about who you were, I wallowed in self pity and misery, which I learned I cannot do... I learned that time waits for no one and that you have to keep moving forward cause you miss out on living your life, with a fresh start." He said as he looked down. "I trusted you with my life, well I trusted Anna with my life. I knew her and to an extent, know you. Open your eyes and realise that you have to move on." He said as he stood up.
"Percy... I never meant to hurt you... I..."
"I'm not ready to talk about that... I don't know if I ever will be able to go back to that..." he said as he looked at her with regret. "I loved Anna... I still do... and I know how much the music industry can cause harm... but I know I will never truly understand or believe why you did what you did... but it is no excuse for lying to me for so long... you should have told me from the beginning, but you didn't and I don't understand why." He said softly.
Annabeth looked at him with regret in her eyes, "I didn't want to hurt you... I didn't want what this industry has done to people I care about, to hurt you the way it has me... I did it because I was selfish and wanted to make you happy... I know it's stupid but you were the first person to really understand me. I know I had Thalia, but you were the first and only person who understood what I carried inside myself... but I know I should have told you... and I am truly sorry." She said softly as she looked at him with tear filled eyes.
Percy looked at her with tear filled eyes, "I would have understood Annabeth... I would have understood... but you never gave me the chance too." He said as he wiped his eyes, "Your actions... has made me stop believing in love... after Anna, I will never love again because all it has done is break my soul..." he said as he scratched at his arm, "fucking hell Annabeth I fucking loved her, I loved you... but you never gave me a chance... and that is something I will never forgive. You should have just stood in the light and let me have seen who you were... that is all I ever wanted... was for it to be real."
"It was." Annabeth whispered softy as she looked down in shame.
"Was it ever really real?" He asked as he looked at her with a saddened look. "Were you the real you, or were you the story that was Anna Olympia?"
Annabeth looked down and remained silent as that question weighed heavily on her mind.
It was the early morning... and everything was still quiet... like it had been since Percy asked Annabeth the heaviest question she had ever heard. It was intense and a deep soul searching question... one that she didn't know if she had the answer to.
She couldn't sleep... she didn't want too...
Because every single thing Percy had said to her, made her think long and hard about everything.
She had honestly felt like a dead and lost soul, wandering aimlessly, trying to figure out what her purpose in life was... that certainly wasn't music anymore.
As much as it pained her... music never gave her the joy it once did anymore...
Which is why what she was going to do now was the hardest thing for her.
She called Thalia... a video chat.
She knew her friend probably would not answer but part of her hope as she would as she waited and the image appeared on the screen of her best friend, dressed for work, looking clearly unimpressed, her voice cold and empty, "What do you want, Annabeth?"
Annabeth's resolve was clear as she weakly held the phone up and looked at the screen, "I am a coward but I admit when I have made mistakes... and I made a mistake and I am sorry but you can't expect me to do something if there is no love in it anymore..." She said as she moved her hair out of her face with a sigh as she looked down, "I know now where I stand with everything now... with you... with Percy... with myself." She said as a tear rolled down her cheek.
"Annabeth, where are you?" She asked with slight concern in her eyes.
"It won't matter if I tell you. You made where we stand very clear last night... and I respect your choice... but you have to respect mine now. I know now that I'm on my own so I will be leaving the hospital that Percy brought me to from the cemetery you left me in, and I will be walking out on my own two feet... because I know where I stand now." She said as she squeezed her phone.
Thalia's eyes were clearly wide and filled with disbelief and shock.
"I would have died from hypothermia in the cemetery if Percy hadn't been there and brought me here, and it wouldn't have mattered to you because I am a coward and nothing important anymore... which is why I am going to officially turn in my resignation and inform Apollo that I will no longer be a member of Apollo records and that as soon as that is finalised, I will be moving as far away as I possibly can so that no one will ever have to worry about me ever again. It's time for me to make a new start and it will be without music." She as she wiped her eyes with a shaky sigh.
"No, Annabeth wait..."
"I'm sorry Thalia but this is my decision and mine alone and my mind has never been clearer. This is what I want and no one can stop me changing my mind. Have Apollo call his negotiating lawyers and prepare to talk because I am done standing back." She said as she ended the call, tears rolling down her cheeks.
She had done it.
She had literally done the one thing she never thought she would do ever in her life.
Annabeth Chase... had quit music... and it would weigh on her mind for the rest of her life.
So so so so so sorry for the super, majorly long wait but here we are with the next chapter. My computer was down and I just got a new one and managed to finish this update. Life has just been long and rough and with exams coming up, having had much time to really write, but going away for four days helped me write this so I hope you like this chapter. See you all soon.
~Michaela~