South Park Elementary, everyone was gathered at the gymnasium.
PC Principal: Okay, Everyone. Our new school band is going to play the national anthem today.
Strong Woman: Okay, kids. You can start playing.
The band played the anthem until white paint splashed all over them and then a catapult from outside launched a big water balloon through the window towards the band, and it splashed all over the band, washing all the paint off of them and knocking them unconscious. Everyone, especially Cartman, were all shocked.
Stan: What the hell was that?!
PC Principal: Whoever did this is in big time trouble!
Butters: Hey, fellas. I heard a loud splash. What's going on?
Everyone looked at Butters.
Nelly: He did it! The materials are all in his locker!
Soon after, PC Principal inspected Butters' locker and out came everything from the prank materials. Everyone gave Butters angry glares.
PC Principal: Stotch, you are in big trouble!
Butters: But sir! It wasn't me! I was in the bathroom the whole time this happened!
Nelly: Likely story! We should take you to court for your actions!
PC Principal: Sounds good to me!
The Breaking News Logo appeared.
News Reporter: Breaking news! Our top story today is about the local elementary school has their gymnasium covered in water! Sources believe that it was local boy Leopold Stotch, also known as Butters! He has been taken to court for this horrible action. Let's go see what's happening inside!
In the South Park Courthouse, Butters was placed on trial for pulling a horrible prank in the school gymnasium.
Judge: Okay everyone. We're in a very serious case. This young man pulled a terrible prank at school, which could've gotten someone killed!
Butters: It wasn't me, your honor! It was...
Stephen: Don't talk back to the judge, mister! You are so getting a big time punishment of a lifetime for this!
Linda S: Your father is right, Butters! We can't believe our own son would do such a horrible thing like this!
Butters: But it wasn't...
Judge: Shut it, criminal! The jury will determine if you're guilty or innocent!
At the Jury room, it consisted of Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, Pip, Dougie, Tolkien, Nichole, Wendy, Bebe, Red, and Nelly.
Kyle: Okay guys. Butters has been accused of the prank at the gymnasium. And I have decided to take turns with Stan and Wendy to count the votes. And there will be no arguments about this. I'm looking at you, Cartman. But anyways, all those who think Butters is guilty, raise your hand.
Everyone except Dougie raised their hands.
Kyle: Okay. All those who think Butters is not guilty, raise your hand.
Dougie raised his hand, which angered everyone.
Nelly: Are you fucking serious?! Why did you say not guilty?! He's 100% guilty!
Dougie: I know Butters. He would never pull horrible pranks like this.
Red: How would you know, ugly Dougie?
Dougie: Please stop calling me that!
Cartman: Ginger Bitch is right! You're so ugly, your face makes all boys and girls wanna vomit!
Dougie: At least I'm not a fatass!
Cartman: At least I'm not a dorky know-it-all!
Dougie: At least I'm not a psychopath who made someone eat his parents!
Nichole: Boys, stop it! We need to solve this case so we can all go home and enjoy our day!
Wendy: Anyways, you guys have any stories on how Butters is guilty?
Nelly: I have one! He obviously went back home to get his stupid supervillain outfit and then set up the whole prank at the gymnasium!
Kyle: Nelly, everyone knows how to follow the dress code at school!
Nelly: Well that freak doesn't!
Cartman: Okay. Before we continue on, I have one question. Why is this bitch apart of the jury? We should've gotten Clyde, Tweek, Craig, or maybe Jimmy. But why Nelly?
Stan: They were all busy, so they can't be apart of our jury.
Nelly: Yeah, and don't call me a bitch again, fatass!
Cartman: Don't call me fat, bitch!
Pip: Okay first off, Eric! You are fat, so quit being a baby over that! And second, Nelly, you are a bitch!
Dougie: Look. I know Butters wouldn't do such a thing like this. I was at his house the other night and he told me everything he wouldn't do. And one of the things was pulling pranks that hurt people.
Cartman: That doesn't prove anything!
Nelly: Yeah! That freak lied to you because he is guilty!
Dougie: Okay. We need to get a bailiff over here so he can give us the evidence.
Wendy: Fine, ugly Dougie. We'll get the bailiff. (Through Intercom) We need a bailiff in the jury room please.
The bailiff arrived.
Bailiff: Do you need anything?
Dougie: Yes. We need evidence about what happened at our school earlier today.
Bailiff: Here it is.
He gives them a bag of evidence, which contained a white tube of paint.
Kyle: A white tub of paint?
Cartman: That's it?
Tolkien: This is what was in Butters' locker.
Nichole: I never knew he was a racist. He used a white tube instead of a black tube! What's wrong with black tubes?! Is black not good enough for him?!
Tolkien: Babe, chill. It's not that big of a deal.
Wendy: Sorry, Dougie. This is one of the materials that was in his locker.
Dougie: Somebody obviously planted that in there just to get him in trouble.
Cartman: You don't even have proof that someone planted that in there just to Butters in trouble! It doesn't prove anything!
Kyle: Yeah, your points are useless, Dougie. Are you saying he was framed?
Dougie: Yes. He was framed!
Bebe: Do you have any proof that he was framed?
Dougie: Sadly no. Okay. How about this? You guys can write down your votes and I'll abstain. If it's unanimous, I'll change my vote and we can all go home.
Kyle: Okay. Everybody grab a piece of paper and write down your votes.
All the jurors, except Dougie, grabbed a piece of paper and started writing their votes.
Cartman: Hey, Kinny. Are you gonna write something funny?
Kenny: (No I'm not, fatass! I'm starting to think all you do is dick around!)
Cartman: Fuck you, Kinny! I'm not fat, you poor piece of crap!
After everyone finished writing down their votes...
Kyle: Okay. I have your votes and I'm gonna count your votes. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. 100% Guilty. I know someone wrote this. (Everyone stared at Nelly, who rolled her eyes) Not guilty.
Everyone groaned in anger.
Nelly: Who's the fuckhead who voted not guilty?
Red: I spy with my little eye, a certain fatass who changed his vote!
Cartman: I'm not fat, Ginger Bitch!
Red: Don't call me a bitch again!
Cartman: Well you are a stupid bitch! I voted guilty! So if anything, you probably changed your vote!
Pip: Guys...
Red: Yeah, right! You've been fuckbuddies with Butters for years!
Pip: Guys...
Cartman: Fuckbuddies isn't even a word, you dumb ginger whore!
Pip: Guys!
Cartman and Red: WHAT?!
Pip: I was the one who changed my vote.
Everyone gasped.
Cartman: Why the fuck did you do that?!
Red: Yeah!
Pip: I mean think about it. Dougie has a point about Butters not wanting to pull pranks. He would never in his life pull dangerous pranks on people. Sure. He did some fucked up shit in his life, but not pull a dangerous prank. Even if today was April Fools Day, he wouldn't bother pulling pranks on people!
Tolkien: So why the hell did you vote guilty?
Pip: I didn't want to vote guilty!
Bebe: Then why did you vote guilty if you didn't want to?! That's the question!
Pip: Because Nelly threatened me. She said that if I didn't vote guilty, she would give me laxatives and make me eat them so I can shit my pants in front of Allie at our next date.
Cartman: Next time, don't listen to that bitch.
Nelly: Stop calling me a bitch, you fat fuck!
Cartman: I'm not fat! Goddamn it!
Wendy: Okay! Let's try to stay on topic! So, we have 10 votes for guilty and 2 votes for not guilty.
Kenny: (Actually, I decided to change my vote to not guilty.)
Nelly: ARE YOU SERIOUS?! WHY?!
Kenny: (It's because Butters isn't smart enough to do stuff like this. He has the brain size of a birdseed, so he can't set up pranks like that.)
Nelly: He's fucking guilty! My story is true! So you, Frenchie and Ugly Dougie better change your fucking votes to guilty so that freak can get arrested and out of my life forever!
Cartman: Okay. Just for that, I'm changing my vote.
Wendy: Eric, any reason on why you're changing your vote?
Cartman: Yes. Kenny is right about Butters being stupid. He can't even stand up to his own parents, let alone us. And with an IQ that low, he's too stupid to set up pranks like this.
Kyle: Since when did you start being smart all of a sudden?
Cartman: I'm always smart, Kahl!
Bebe: Those report cards with bad grades say otherwise!
Cartman: Back to what I was saying, Butters is innocent! Also, I changed my vote just to piss off Nelly.
Nelly: Oh fuck you!
30 Minutes Later...
Stan: So, anyone else wants to change their votes before we move on?
Nichole: Yes. I'm changing my vote to not guilty.
Nelly: YOU FUCKING TRAITOR! WHY?!
Nichole: Think about it. When would that boy have the time to set up a prank like this? For all I know, he was probably hanging out with that blonde kid with the hat and funny accent and the racist little pervert.
Dougie: When have I ever said anything offensive towards you?
Nichole: Your face has racism written all over it!
Dougie: I'm not a racist person. I love all religions.
Wendy: Oh shut up, Dougie!
Bebe: Yeah! And Nichole is right about the pervert part! We still remember YOU PEEPING AT US WHILE WE WERE SHOWERING AT YOUR PLACE!
Cartman: What were you all doing at that dork's place?
Red: His sister was hosting a slumber party and a sleepover at the same time.
Cartman: Well okay then.
Dougie: Well, it's not my fault you all looked so hot and pretty! I can't help it! It's a problem I can't fix!
Red: Here's a suggestion. GO SEE A FUCKING THERAPIST!
Kyle: Guys, can we please stop going off topic already?! You can continue screaming at Dorky later.
Dougie was hurt and upset from the name Kyle called him.
2 Hours Later...
Stan: Okay. Now I'm gonna count the votes again. 6 for guilty and 6 for not guilty.
Everyone groaned in anger.
Nelly: Okay, who's the dickhead who changed their vote?!
Wendy: I changed it.
Pip: Is there a reason why?
Wendy: Well, Butters hasn't been the brightest tool in the shed. He always falls for Cartman's dirty tricks. Remember those disgusting photos he took out of Butters?
Pip: Please don't remind me.
Cartman: It's not my fault Butters is an idiot.
Kyle: It is your fault for trying to make him look bad!
Dougie: Guys, can we please...
All: SHUT UP DOUGIE!!!
Pip: Look, Lads. We need to prove that Butters is innocent.
Red: Come on, dickheads! He obviously did it! You saw the evidence! It was in his locker!
Dougie: Someone probably put the evidence in his locker! Besides, there is no proof that he is guilty!
Pip: Yeah! And like I said before, we need to prove that Butters is innocent!
Nelly: But he's not. He's 100% guilty.
Bebe: He's not guilty. I'm changing my vote. I mean you guys are right. He's too stupid to be setting up dangerous pranks. I mean who else knows how to pull dangerous pranks?
Dougie: I have a friend in Royal Woods, Michigan and her 4th older sister pull pranks on her family. And yes, my friend from that place is a genius just like me.
Kyle: Well, it wasn't her sister. It has to be someone from South Park.
Tolkien: Guys, why don't we all take a break? Let's try again in an hour.
With the boys...
Cartman: It's ginger dork's fault that we're still here! Why do you think that you're smarter than everyone?! You can't even defend yourself from that bitch who lives in a trailer park! (His phone suddenly rang) Hang on. I gotta take this. (He answers the phone.) Hello?
Theresa: (Through the phone) I DO NOT LIVE IN A TRAILER PARK, YOU FAT FUCK! (She hung up.)
Cartman: How did she know about what I just said about her? And most importantly, how did she get my number?!
Stan: I don't know, but Butters needs us to prove his innocence.
Kyle: Stan, Nelly still thinks he's guilty. We can't prove his innocence until we convince her that he's innocent.
Stan: You mean you're gonna change your vote?
Kenny: (Yup. And so am I.)
Cartman: Glad we're all on the same page. What about you, Tolkien?
Tolkien: I still haven't decided on whether I want to change my vote or not.
Cartman: Well, hurry up. I want to get the fuck out of here.
Pip: Same. I promised Allie that I'd take her to the movies.
Cartman: No one cares about your whore, Pip!
Pip: DON'T CALL MY FUCKING GIRLFRIEND A WHORE, FATASS!
Cartman: I'm not fat, I'm big boned, Pip!
Pip: Let me guess, did you shove a bone up your ass?
All the boys bursted out laughing.
Cartman: If there was a bone in my ass, it probably came from your dead mother!
The boys laughed even harder until Pip punched Cartman.
Pip: I am getting really sick of you making fun of my dead parents!
Dougie: Guys, please. Can we all get along?
Cartman: Shut up, Dougie. You sound like your slutty sister.
All the boys bursted out laughing again.
Dougie: My sister is not a slut!
Cartman: Dude, she made out with 7 different boys in a minute. She's an even bigger slut than Bebe.
Kyle: Yeah. Not to mention that his mom is a pig.
All the boys laughed.
Dougie: At least my mom isn't a big fat bitch.
Kyle punched Dougie in the face.
Kyle: Don't call my mom a bitch!
Randy: Kids, if you're done arguing, I got McDonalds for all of you and the rest of the Jury.
Cartman: Sweet!
Stan: Great because I'm hungry!
Randy: Oh, and Stan. When you're done, I need you to get back to the farm and do your weed chores.
Stan: Aw come on, Dad!
Randy: No Aw come ons! You need to help out in the family business.
Stan: Ugh. Fine.
Randy: Great. (He then left.)
Stan: I wish I can leave that fucking farm for good.
Cartman: Oh my god enough with the farm rants already!
Meanwhile with the girls...
Nelly: For the last time, Butters is guilty! He's always guilty of ruining our lives!
Red: Really? When has he ever ruined our lives?!
Nelly: He flashed his fucking dick at us 6 years ago!
Wendy: He apologized for it and we accepted it! Why can't you get over it and move on already?
Nelly: I don't want to. I hate Butters so much! I've hated him ever since he kicked me and I still hate him to fucking day! I hate him more than I hate Cartman! I hate him more than I hate all of the worst people in the world! He's guilty for that prank and you can't change my mind!
Bebe: You are doing a terrible job at redeeming yourself after we kicked you out of our group!
Red: Yeah! Kyle's dad trolling people is what drove you into a monster! You're obsessed with bad things happening to Butters! At least Heidi's doing a better job at redeeming herself!
Nelly: Leave that whore out of this!
Nichole: How could you say that?! She's our friend!
Nelly: Was she your friend when you kicked her out of the group?! No! So leave her out of this! I hope you bitches realize what I'm talking about is correct and Butters needs to be punished!
She left.
Wendy: Francis made the right choice dumping her.
Bebe: Yeah. Even since word got out about her helping Cartman break up Pip and Allie, Francis got pissed off and broke up with her. And you know what the worst part about all this? She blamed Butters for it!
Nichole: She blames Butters for everything bad that happens to her. She's really delusional. I'm starting to wonder why we even let her be apart of the jury.
Red: Yeah. I hope reality smacks her in the face and realizes that Butters isn't the cause of all of her problems.
1 hour later, they were all back in the jury room.
Wendy: Okay. We all needed to take a breather from this, and now we're back. Now, we now have 9 votes for not guilty and 3 votes for guilty.
Nelly: Why?! Why do you guys keep changing your votes?!
Stan: Because Butters is innocent!
Kyle: Yeah! I believe all the stories the others told.
Nelly: Come on guys! He obviously did it! He is guilty out of everybody in this town!
Dougie: How? You don't even have proof!
Nelly: There were prank materials in his locker! There's the proof!
Pip: Well, whoever did it must've put those in his locker!
Dougie: Yeah! Someone who hates Butters with a fiery passion must've framed him after committing the crime.
Tolkien: You guys are right. I'm changing my vote to not guilty.
Red: Me too. Butters is a wimp and he doesn't know how to set up dangerous pranks.
Nelly: This is fucking bullshit! Why are you voting not guilty?! He is guilty, you retards!
Cartman: Listen here, bitch! It's 11 against 1! We're winning and you can't convince us to change our votes!
Nelly: WHY ARE YOU FUCKHEADS EVEN DEFENDING HIM?! HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN ALL THE SHIT HE'S DONE TO ALL OF YOU?! STAN, HE INSULTED YOU BY CALLING YOU A SISSY! KYLE, HE HELPED CARTMAN GIVE YOU AIDS, MADE FUN OF YOU FOR BEING UGLY, AND ALWAYS TEAMED UP WITH CARTMAN TO MAKE YOU LOOK BAD! CARTMAN, HE MADE YOU A LAUGHINGSTOCK, BROKE YOUR ELECTRONICS, KICKED YOU AND FLIPPED YOU OFF! KENNY, HE TRIED TO KILL YOU MULTIPLE TIMES EVERY TIME YOU PLAY SUPERHEROES! PIP, HE MADE FUN OF YOU FOR HAVING DEAD PARENTS AND EVEN DITCHED YOU SO HE CAN HANG OUT WITH THE COOL KIDS! DOUGIE, HE MAKES FUN OF YOUR MOM AND CALLS HER A PIG ALL THE TIME! TOLKIEN, HE GETS ON YOUR NERVES ON A DAILY BASIS! WENDY, HE FORMED A GANG AGAINST YOU AND EVEN PISSED ON YOUR FRONT DOOR STEP! BEBE, HE CALLED YOU A BITCH WHEN HE ASKED YOU TO MAKE SOME MOTHERFUCKING MONEY! RED, HE FLASHED HIS DICK AT YOU AND ALL OF THE OTHER GIRLS! NICHOLE, HE HELPED CARTMAN SET YOU AND TOLKIEN UP AS A COUPLE FOR AN EXTREMELY RACIST REASON! AND FOR ME?! HE KICKED ME IN MY PRIVATE AREA TWICE, FLASHED HIS DICK AT ME, HE CALLS ME A BITCH ON A DAILY BASIS AND HE EVEN CONSIDERS ALL GIRLS TO BE LYING SNAKES IN THE GRASS! HE IS THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE AND I WANT HIM ARRESTED AND LOCKED UP BEHIND BARS! NO! SCRATCH THAT! I WANT HIM TO FUCKING DIE! MY LIFE WOULD BE PERFECT WITHOUT THAT FREAK RUINING IT! I WISH HE WAS NEVER BORN SO I CAN HAVE A PERFECT LIFE! HE IS 100% GUILTY FOR THAT PRANK AND HE WILL NEVER BE INNOCENT! HE IS THE CAUSE OF ALL OF OUR PROBLEMS AND I WISH THAT STUPID SLUT WHO GAVE BIRTH TO HIM ABORTED HIM WHEN HE WAS STILL A BABY INSIDE HER MOTHERFUCKING STOMACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She was breathing heavily and all the jurors had horrified, angry, and shocked expressions from what Nelly just said. Even Cartman was scared.
Dougie: How... How could you say all of those awful things about Butters?!
He starts crying and Pip starts hugging him while giving Nelly an angry glare.
Wendy: Congratulations, Nelly. You just made yourself the most hated girl in town.
Cartman: Not even I would say stuff like that. Not kewl, bitch!
Nelly: Like I care. Besides, he's too stupid to even pull pranks.
Everyone gasped.
Stan: What?
Nelly: Yeah. I said it. He's an idiot. He wouldn't pull stupid pranks. I still think he's guilty, but still.
Kyle: Nelly... did you pull that prank?
Nelly: No. What makes you think I did it?
Cartman: You've been bitchin' about Butters being guilty the whole time we've been here and then said that he's too stupid to pull dangerous pranks! That makes you kinda... sus.
Red: An Among Us joke? Really?
Nelly: I'm not sus! You have no evidence that it was me! It was probably you since you're the biggest psychopath in the whole town!
Cartman: I was at my house watching TV the whole time that prank was set up! Besides, I would be too tired to set up a prank like that! Yeah, I have pulled pranks in the past, but I was not responsible for this one!
Wendy: Nelly, tell us the truth! Did you pull that prank just to frame Butters?
Nelly: No I did not!
Dougie: Liar lair pants on fire!
Nelly: Shut up, Ugly Dougie!
Pip: Don't call him ugly!
Nelly: Fuck off, Frenchie!
Pip: I am not French!
Cartman: You are French, so shut it! (To Nelly) As for you, admit that you did this to get Butters in trouble!
Nelly: No! I did not do it! I was with Francis the whole time!
Stan: Francis dumped you after you cheated on him with Pip while dressed as Estella!
Nelly: It was that fat fuck's fault for making me dress up as that European whore!
Cartman: I am not fat, you stupid bitch!
Nelly: YES YOU ARE!!!
Cartman: NO I'M NOT!!!
Tolkien: EVERYBODY, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
Everybody was silent.
Nichole: Guys, I got this. Nelly, I think you did all of this to ruin Butters' life. Here's my theory. You wanted to get Butters in trouble, and you love it when he suffers. So, in order to ruin his life, you came up with an idea that could get him in trouble. For the plan to commence, you did some chores in order to get money. After you got the chore money, you went to the store, purchased a bunch of materials, and waited until nighttime for your plan to commence. So, after nightfall came and everybody fell asleep, you took the materials to school, went to the gym, set up the whole prank, put all of the tools and materials in Butters' locker, snuck out of the school, and returned to your house without getting caught. And that's how you got Butters punished. You still haven't gotten over what he did to you in the past, so you decided to get your revenge, and that plan resulted in some of our friends ending up in the hospital.
All the jurors, except for Nelly, were impressed by Nichole's theory.
Cartman: You know? I actually believe that theory.
Kyle: Me too.
The Rest of the Jury (Except Nelly): Same.
Nelly: Well, your theory is wrong!
Kyle: Nelly, give it up! We all know you did it!
Nelly knew she was caught. She had no more chances to defend herself and begins to confess her bad action.
Nelly: You know what? Fine! I admit it! I was the one who pulled that prank! I did all of this so I can get him in trouble! (Unknown to everyone, Cartman turned on the intercom so that the whole court can hear her confession.) He ruined my life! I lost all of my friends because of him! I lost my boyfriend because of him! And I don't care if it was actually Cartman's fault for making me help him destroy Pip and Allie's relationship! Butters is the cause of all of my problems! He is the bane of my existence and I hate him so much! He ruined my fucking life and I wanted revenge! So I set up everything. The water balloon, the catapult, the white paint, everything! After that, I went to his locker and put all the materials I used for the prank inside there so he can take the blame! I, Nelly (Last name yet to be revealed), was the one who did this to Butters so he can rot in prison for the rest of his life! I did all of this because he caused me so much stress and I just couldn't take it anymore! (She began crying) Not guilty! Not guilty!
Cartman: Glad you made your confession, which the whole court heard because I turned on the intercom!
Nelly: What?!
Nelly was carried away by the cops and she was taken to her parents, who angrily grabbed her hand and took her to the car. Butters was reunited with his friends.
Butters: Thanks for proving my innocence, fellas.
Pip: No problem, lad.
Dougie: That's what friends are for.
Stephen: Butters, we're sorry for wrongfully grounding you.
Butters: It's okay, dad.
Linda S: Butters, we love you so much with all of our hearts.
Butters: I love you too, mom and dad! (They all shared a hug.)
Wendy, Bebe, Red and Nichole: Aw!
Butters: Can Pip and Dougie spend the night?
Stephen: Sure. And also, you're not grounded anymore since you were proven innocent.
Pip: Mr. Stotch, can my girlfriend Allie spend the night also?
Stephen: Sure.
Pip: Thanks!
Stephen: You're welcome.
The next day at South Park Elementary, it was lunch time.
Wendy: Thank god all of this is over.
Bebe: Yeah. I though I was gonna be in that courthouse all night!
Theresa: So, what did you do there?
Red: We had to prove if Butters is innocent or guilty. We all voted innocent and now Butters is a free man.
Lola: So who was the real culprit?
Nichole: It was Nelly. She did all of this because she wanted Butters behind bars. She even said something so horrible about Butters.
Isla: What was it?
Wendy: You really don't want to know.
Sophie: So, what's gonna happen to Nelly?
Nichole: She got her ass whooped big time when she got home and got grounded for 3 months, and since PC Principal was pissed off at her for what she did, he sentenced her to have 3 months of detention, and oh look! Here comes the culprit now!
Nelly was walking with her tray of food while kids were giving her angry looks. Red threw a milk carton at her.
Nelly: Ow! Fuck you, Red!
Red: Shut the fuck up, bitch! If you didn't frame Butters for that prank you pulled, this wouldn't be happening to you!
Bebe: Yeah, go sit in the floor, you pigtailed whore!
Nelly: Fuck you too, Bebe!
That's all of my 12 Angry Men Parody.