You might be expecting a horrific tale about monsters, psychopaths, or vile, terrible people of the lowest moral fiber. This isn't one of those stories, but those titles are all important just the same. They're commonly used as labels, labels that the immorally-minded neurotypical exploit to bully or demean people with serious mental illnesses.

People like me.

Contrary to what my curt, nearly emotionless way of speaking might tell you, I've actually got a lot on my mind.

For all my life, I was a victim of my mother's condition, passed down in the womb to her only child. My parents took me to see doctor after doctor, psychiatrist after psychiatrist, but the consensus was always the same.

According to them, I was untreatable. Irreparable. Unable to be relieved of a crippling sense of apathy that the neurotypical would be unable to fathom unless their emotions were torn from their minds by some unspeakable torture.

My whole life, I was little more than a hollow, empty void in the shape of a girl, and the thought distressed my father to no end. But while I couldn't feel emotions of my own, I was surprisingly perceptive of what other people felt. I could feel my father's sadness, and so I resolved to alleviate his worries by trying to be happy, or at the very least wearing a smile.

It worked.

In school, my atypical nature made me a pariah amongst my peers, and I felt lonely. The other students started calling me names like the ones I told you about, snatching my supplies out of my hands, and dousing me with cold water. Another name I earned (although I think "earned" is a bit of a strong word) was a misnomer from a young Midori Gurin.

She called me a yandere. Since she was into coding and computer games, it didn't take long for her to start spouting nonsense about my life being a sort of "yandere simulator", whatever that meant.

I could feel the hatred emanating from them with every misdeed and bad word. A hatred of the different, which I was very much so from them. I stopped this inconvenience by acting like a neurotypical girl outside of the house as well.

It worked, too.

Still, it was little more than a mask. As I kept getting older, I started to get jealous of the people around me who could feel emotions on their own. What was it like, I wondered, what was it like to actually be what I was trying to imitate? What was it like to feel like a person with good mental health?

One day, I happened upon a little Siamese kitten in the middle of the streets, and after playing with him for a little while, I picked him up and prepared for what I needed to do. For days, I had been experimenting with different ways to feel something, be it joy, sorrow, or… otherwise.

Now I wanted to see if I could feel the shame of a murderer. I hadn't killed anything larger than a mosquito before, but I figured that if I couldn't feel anything, it couldn't be that hard, right? I lifted the animal in my hands in the air and steeled myself.

But I couldn't do it.

I looked upon the stray kitten and I realized that he too had emotions. He had no one, being left to wander the neighborhood without a family or sense of belonging. He was alone, just like me. I gave him a remorseful embrace and decided that he needed a home. He didn't have to be alone anymore. He didn't have to be empty. We didn't have to be empty.

"Mom! Dad! I'm home!" I called for my parents, who looked on in surprise to see me holding my new friend in my arms. "I found this cute little guy on the way back from school! Can we keep him?"

"Of course we can, sweetie," my father replied. "It might cost a bit to take care of him, but it's worth it if you're happy."

My mother nodded in agreement. She didn't keep any pets when she was younger, but I thought it was because she wasn't as well-off as we were at the time. She couldn't have lacked the capacity for attachment because I developed one for the kitten. Besides, she couldn't have gotten married without forming an attachment to my father, right? I certainly thought so.

After my parents got the adoption papers in order, we officially welcomed Mr. Kim (short for Kimchi) to the Aishi family. I know it's a weird name, but he just looked like a Mr. Kim to me. When I was old enough, I took a part-time job at the maid cafe in downtown Buraza to cover some of the expenses for Mr. Kim's food, toys, and litter. My father even thought that it might improve my mental health to some degree.

Life was happier for my family than ever. While I still couldn't feel what I wanted to feel, the idea of having an emotional support animal and companion made me feel at least a little bit relieved from my apathy.

On the first day of April, in my second year of high school, I was on my way to class with my books in hand and a slice of toast in my mouth when I bumped into another student, a boy who looked a year older than me, without a doubt my Senpai. I didn't get a very good look at his face, though.

"I'm sorry!" the boy apologized. "Are you okay? Let me help you up!"

"Oh, uh, thanks…" I replied, giving the impression of being embarrassed. "I'm just… fine…"

When he pulled me up, I finally got to observe his features, and my false awkwardness became a reality.

I was absolutely smitten. My mother always told me that there was someone special waiting for me who could finally fix my broken psyche. I didn't really buy into it, but with how infatuated and… alive… I felt I figured that she was onto something.

"You're not hurt, are you?" his concern snapped me out of my daydreams. "I feel so bad for running into you like that…"

"Don't worry," I reassured him. "I've never felt better."

"That's a relief. I was really worried about you for a second. Well, I've gotta get going or I'll be late to class."

Damn it, I thought. Senpai was leaving already? I wanted more than ever to be close to him, and I wanted to follow him wherever he went. Although I was a nervous wreck, I couldn't just let him leave yet.

And so I made a choice that would change my life forever.

"W-Wait!" I called out to him, causing him to stop in his tracks. "I-I know we just met, but I was wondering if I could walk with you. I want to get to know you better."

"Of course!" Senpai agreed. "Besides, I don't think we've been introduced, Miss… uh…"

"Aishi. Ayano Aishi. But call me Yan-chan. Everyone does."

"That's a pretty name. I'm Taro Yamada."

Taro Yamada? I almost found myself facepalming over how Senpai's parents could have named him anything and yet they settled on the most generic name they could find. How lazy…

"Your parents must be very proud, Taro-senpai," I snarked, briefly lapsing into monotone before speaking with more emotion again. "Can we be friends?"

"Yes! But we should get going, the bell's going to ring any minute now."

As we walked, I learned a lot about my Senpai. He had a younger sister named Hanako who sounded just as sweet as he was (but again with the Yamadas and their generic names), and he enjoyed reading and writing. He was, by all accounts, an average, introverted boy just trying to get by in a system filled with bright colors and noise.

At first, I was in love with the way he made me feel, but my feelings became more conventional now that I felt closer to him. He was such a nice guy and probably the first person outside of my family not to treat me like an outcast when we first met.

And yes, Senpai was average, but I loved that about him even more. It was his down-to-earth nature, his innate sense of normalcy, that drew both my affection and my envy. I liked that a lot, and it was certainly telling that we had hit it off so easily. Nothing could come between us now.

"I can't believe you're late. You know I hate waiting!"

Or so I thought.

"Sorry, Osana," Senpai gave his apology. "I had a nasty fall in the hallway."

"Right… And who the hell is she?! Did you do this to my Senpai?!"

She pointed at me and glared angrily.

"I think you just got off on the wrong foot. Osana, this is my new friend Yan-chan. Yan-chan, this is-"

"Osana Najimi," I finished. "Actually, we met when we were kids."

"What are you doing with her?" she asked Senpai possessively. "We were supposed to walk to school together like we always do!"

"Osana, I…" he timidly responded.

With a name like "Childhood Friend", one would have expected her to be nicer to her friends, but my new rival's bossy demeanor made it clear that she wasn't the right choice (what is it with families and the puns in their children's names?!). At least Taro Yamada sounded like an actual name.

"Actually, Senpai," I chimed in, "how about I show you my house after school? Of course, if you don't want to, I won't-"

"Okay," he replied. "I'd like that."

I smirked at Osana one last time before I got to work and carried out the day's agenda. I enjoyed her pouty look of defeat as she realized that her method wasn't working now that I entered the picture.

After the day had ended, I took Senpai by the arm and practically dragged him over to my house for tea, but not before he made a call to Hanako telling her that he would be staying over at a friend's for a while.

"Wow, you have a nice place, Yan-chan!" he marveled at its condition.

"Thanks," I replied. "My parents usually keep it quite tidy here."

"Speaking of which, where are your parents?"

"They're on a business trip overseas. They told me they'd be back as soon as they can."

"So, you've just been living here all by yourself?"

"Not all by myself. I've got Mr. Kim here to keep me company."

Mr. Kim, now a young adult cat, crawled into my lap and let me stroke him on the head.

"I never took you for a cat person, Yan-chan. Where'd you find, uh… Mr. Kim? That's a really weird name for a cat…"

"Kimchi was just a kitten when I adopted him. He was alone on the streets and had no one else before I took him in."

"You have a good heart, Yan-chan. Osana really likes cats, too, you know…"

Of course he would have started talking about Osana.

"Do you always let her boss you around? I don't like her…"

"She's been friends with me since we were really young and she's never led me astray."

"Senpai, she doesn't have an excuse to be this controlling. And she certainly didn't have an excuse to torment me while I was little."

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

Apparently, he was hard of hearing, too…

"Nothing… You should probably get back home. I bet Hanako's worried about her big brother."

"Yeah… It was nice meeting you!"

Before he left, I had one more thing to ask.

"It was nice meeting you, too. Can we walk to school next week?"

"Oh! Uh, yeah! I'll see you around!"

I waved him goodbye as he left. I feared that my moment of enlightenment would leave me and I would return to the void-like state of existence seventeen long years thrust upon me, but I felt… slightly more filled. All I needed to do was to keep filling the tank and get Osana out of my way.

As I began to go to bed, my phone vibrated and I looked on the notification board to find that an unknown number had sent me a text message. Suspicious, I opened the Messages app and read the message.

"Hey," the caller greeted me.

"Do I know you?" I asked, voicing my suspicion.

"No, but I saw you stalking an upperclassman today."

Stalking?! What did she take me for?

"I'm sorry, there must be some misunderstanding."

"You don't need to play dumb, Ayano Aishi. I want to help you. I know you want the girl he was with out of your way."

"How do you know my name? And why should I believe you?"

"That's a trade secret. On with my point. Osana Najimi has a crush on him and won't let him go easily. She wants to confess her feelings to him under the cherry tree on Friday. You know the myth that the cherry tree binds two lovers, don't you, Aishi?"

"Why are you telling me this?"

"It would bring me great pleasure if something tragic happened to Osana-chan. And you're the right person to make that happen, Aishi."

"You're insane. Who are you and why do you act like you know me?"

"You can call me 'Info-chan'."

I had heard of Info-chan. She was a mysterious urban legend that dealt in dirty secrets. I detested that hacker. One would have to be completely insane not to hate such a vile creature.

"Info-chan? You mean the disgusting monster who exploits innocent schoolgirls by selling shots of their panties? You're really her?"

"I'm not a monster, but I'll prove it. Check your homepage."

True to her word, the hacker had sent a suspicious app to my phone.

"How did you do that?"

"Again, it's a trade secret. But if you do some small favors for me, I can help you eliminate Osana-chan. This app will give you everything you need, Aishi."

"And what if I don't want anything to do with you?"

"Well, I won't take it personally. But Osana-chan will. And she won't ignore an opportunity to get close to your darling upperclassman. So what do you say?"

Info-chan wanted a reply from me, so I gave her one, short, to the point, and filled with everything she needed to hear from me.

"Screw you."

Afterwards, I deleted the Info app and invested a good sum of my allowance on an antiviral protection program to keep that infernal hacker out of my technology. Then another text rolled in.

"Have it your way. Game on, Aishi."

What game? I didn't even know who the hacker was! I blocked the number and thought long and hard.

I had to get rid of Osana by Friday. I needed a plan, but killing and Info-chan didn't need to be a part of it. That would have just ruined my chances with Senpai, and I had reservations.

With Senpai… that was it! I got close to him on the day we met, so I could do it again and again and romance him the old-fashioned way. I just had to lead him away from my rival without playing into Info-chan's hands.

Whatever she was planning, I wasn't going to let anyone stand in my way.