Ch. 2

I paced inside my cage that night. I thought I must be imagining things. I hadn't picked up the peaches and cream scent again. I chastised myself for letting that bother me. Of course I didn't pick it up again. I had imagined it. I had imagined that someone would miraculously be there for me. I imagined that I wasn't alone. I sighed again. After the first performance of the day I had sniffed and looked and waited for the scent to come back. Waited for the caring gaze I felt before to return. But nothing happened. I wanted to cry, but of course, I couldn't produce tears in this form. Not because I was sad at least. I huffed and threw myself down. I hated this. Hated captivity. Hated loneliness. Hated hope. I slowly drifted to sleep, wishing I could cry and wishing beyond reason that I hadn't imagined the peaches and cream scent.

The next morning I was awakened by blinding light being forced into my little barn. I sighed and shut my eyes tighter. Wishing for my true form, wishing for a bed, wishing for freedom. Andrew was inside the barn now and he was talking to someone. "Kelsey, meet Dhiren. Come here, I want to show you something". I lifted my head, figuring that I should at least keep up my humanity enough to be polite, and froze. My eyes widened as my nose caught the scent. The scent. Her scent.

My eyes locked with hers. Kelsey, the owner of the peaches and cream scent. She had come back to me. I stared at her openly, intensely. She stared back. I recognized what I saw. Loneliness. She was a kindred spirit. She was like me. I blinked as she wrenched her gaze away. She was trying to hide the loneliness, but I could still see it. I saw it in how she held herself, and even the way she spoke. Quiet, half afraid... I shook myself. Of course she was afraid. She was in the presence of a wild beast.

Andrew gave me my vitamins mixed with water vile stuff I thought as I lapped it up. I hated the taste but it was this or they would put it in my food and I did not want that to happen. I heard Andrew giving Kesley instructions on how and what to feed me, and then she was gone. I looked up sharply, letting out a low growl. Her scent faded again as she left and I hated it. It was foolish of me, I knew that. She didn't know who I was. Didn't care probably. But I cared... and I didn't feel quite so alone when she was nearby. I reminded myself that she was just getting my breakfast and then would be back. I sat down with a sigh and waited.

Soon she was back and my eyes fixed on her once again. She was nervous still and I sighed inwardly. It shouldn't bother me, not really. Everyone was nervous around me, they didn't know I wouldn't hurt any of them.

"Mr. Davis, is that a female or a male tiger?"

I growled in response to Kelsey's question, offended by her. Andrew chuckled and told her I was sensitive. Am not I thought in response to Andrews's explanation. The offense was dulled as soon as she talked to me. "What are you growling at me for" She had asked me before Andrew answered her. I couldn't remember the last time someone other than Kadam had talked to me like a person. Like someone who had feelings. Like someone who could respond. It made me like her more.

Like her? I thought incredulously, I can't like her I hardly know her. I put it out of my mind and moved forward to eat my breakfast. Walking toward the bowl of food brought me closer to her, to Kelsey. It made me happy. Foolishly, inexplicably happy. But happy nonetheless. As I ate, her scent washed over me and I sighed contentedly despite myself. I still felt less alone. I berated myself again. Foolish I thought Just cause she smells nice it doesn't mean anything. A small voice in my head responded to that thought no... but she seemed kind too, and she talked to you. Talked to you as you. I sighed internally again as I finished eating, hating how happy I was that she was still there.

Andrew suggested that we do our routine while Kelsey watched. I didn't really need the practice but I knew it made Andrew less nervous so usually I humored him. Today, however, I was the nervous one. What would Kelsey think of me? Would it be like anyone else who watched me perform? "I can't believe a tiger, a tiger can just jump through a hoop like that!" "He's so well trained! The trainer must really know what he's doing" or even "Who would have thought that such a beast could be trained". I hated the comments I got, the looks, the condescension. I hated what I was. I wanted to be Dhiren the man. Not expected to roll over and play dead. Not doing tricks for food. Just a man. Andrew called twice before I was willing to get up. I yawned and stretched, making a show of it. I trotted down the ramp and out of the cage, jumping up on the stool provided for me at Andrews's command. I jumped between stools over and over again and soon into the process I lost my nervousness. It was just another boring routine. Another monotonous day of me being treated like an animal. Her peaches and cream scent kept me company during the routine and it made it slightly more bearable. For that I was grateful.

I went through my routine, careful as ever not to hurt Andrew. I moved my paw when I was too close to scratching him, refrained from lashing out when he stepped on my tail, and generally tried to make his day as easy as possible for him. Andrew put on a good show but I knew he was nervous in front of the crowds. Practice was good for him and just because no one else could see my humanity didn't mean I couldn't use it and be kind when I had the opportunity.

We ended training and Andrew gave me a jerky "treat". I hated these things. I missed human food. But I took it dutifully, not wanting to upset anyone. My ears pricked up as I heard Kelsey asking to come and visit me with her journal. Why? I wondered. Does she really want more time with me? I dismissed the thought. This was a quiet enough place it wasn't that unusual. I swallowed my "treat" painfully and was dimly aware that Andrew told her yes before she rushed out and away from me. I let out a small growl as she left, she took the strongest of her peaches and cream scent with her, though some still lingered in my barn. As much as I didn't want it to affect me... the lack of her presence brought back the loneliness again. I hadn't realized she was keeping it at bay. But it was back full force and I laid down resting my head on my paws as I watched the door wondering when she would come back.