AIN'T NO WAY ABIGAIL, HE STAYS HERE!!" buck's father yelled. "HE'S MY SON DENVER!!" "AIN'T YOUR SON NO MORE, NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!!"
"can i just say goodbye? please?" "fine" he spat out buck wad standing there he'd seen the whole fight happen, when he saw his mom heading for his room he ran back in.
"hey there buckeroo" she said trying to hold back her tears "are you okay mommy?" he was concerned "i'm fine honey but listen, mommy's gotta go on a trip okay?" she said letting a few tears fall
"how long will you be gone mommy?" "i don't know buck, promise me you"ll be a good boy okay?"
buck looked sad but knew she'd come back, so he didn't question it. "i will mommy, promise" she smiled, she didn't know if she'd ever see her boy again.
she kissed him on the forehead and said goodbye. an hour later he came out of his room "daddy do you know where mommy's going?"
his dad looked annoyed at him, he'd clearly had too much to drink. "no i don't fuckin' know where that whore is" he said angerly.
"that's a swear, you're not allowed to use those daddy" buck said innocently. "ya know what buck? i don't give a fuck, get to your god damned room before i hit ya.
buck looked sad but also scared after that, so he walked back to his room. he just layed there, i dont think mommy's coming back he thought to himself.
the thought made him sad, he started to cry a little. "SHUT THE FUCK UP BUCK!!" he heard from the living room, he grabbed his pillow so his dad wouldn't be able to hear him. he cried himself asleep that night.
"buck? buck are ya there??" buck jumped. "what in the hell matt, ya can't go around and scare folks like that"
matt looked weirdly at him.
"look around bud, yer in my house" buck rubbed his eyes. "so what?" matthew rolled his eyes. "so ya should've expected me to wake ya up"
buck looked a little shocked, matthew noticed and came to sit next to him. he put he rubbed buck's back. "did ya have a bad dream buddy?"
"i..i did" he looked like he'd seen a ghost. "what was it about?" "my mom, it was the night she uhh left" matthew saw that it'd clearly hurt buck. "hey c'mere" he hugged buck who gripped him tightly.
when he finally let go matthew gave him a quick kiss, his mom knocked. "you boys ready for breakfast?" "yes mama we'll be there in a sec"
as they were walking down they heard matthew's parents talk. "don't ya think it's weird? he's spendin' a lot a time with that boy, if i didn't know any better i'd almost say hes datin' him"
"oh that's just crazy talk joe, besides i think they'd make a lovely couple" matthew father didn't like that.
"betty ya can't support those damned fags, men likin' men, its unnatural"
"queer or not i'll love my son, all im askin' a you is you do the same" he was about to say something when the kids walked in. "what's for breakfast mama?"
he asked while sitting down next to his father, buck sat next to matthew he wasn't that fond of fathers, so this was more comfortable for him.
matthew's mom put a plate in front of buck and matthew, bacon and eggs hell yeah, buck thought to himself. "thank you ma'am it looks real good"
she smiled, matthew's mom had always reminded him of his own, he'd always wondered what'd happened if she'd stayed. he finished the bacon and eggs.
"that tasted really good you're a great cook" buck said smiling. "why thank you buck, im glad ya liked it" matthew finished his plate aswell.
they headed for the door to go to school, buck was already outside and matthew had one foot out "i'll be back home soon" "have a good day matthew" his mom said. "have a good day son"
they were walking to school. "ya heard em talk didn't ya?" buck finally spoke. "i did" "well aren't ya worried?" "bout what" "bout the fact yer dad was sayin' we were datin'" he don't know nothin' buck"
"easy fer you ta say, if yer dad finds out he might swear at ya big deal, if mine finds out he'll punch me to death or somethin' like it"
"he'll disown me, kick me out, maybe even kill me, ya know what happens when folks find out their kid's queer" matthew looked worried, his parents had always loved him, but for buck this was different.
he was in real danger, and yet he was risking a lot just to be with him.
"i know i'm sorry, yer right" "listen matt, i don't wanna fuck this or us up, but i'm scared and ya just aren't"
"yeah cuz ya shouldn't have ta be" "i know it ain't right matt, but it ain't about what's right or wrong here, it's just how the world is right now, and we've gotta live with it"
"i know i'm sorry i'll talk to the old man soon" "that'd really calm my nerves a bit, thanks matt" "anything fer you cowboy"
they arrived at school.
"great, another day in hell" buck always hated school, he said it was extra anxiety on top of the shit he'd already have to deal with.
matthew patted his shoulder, he wished he could do more to cheer him up, but people would probably hurt them and the word would spread, and if buck's father found out.
he didn't even wanna know what'd happen if he did. "cmon buddy, before they start bitchin' bout ya standin' out here"
buck nodded and walked along, once inside buck walked up to his first class, english. he didn't understand why he'd need to learn about his own language, but he didn't fight it.
he was just outside when a fellow student came up. "how are we feelin' today bucky?" "if that ain't clear then yer eyes must be full a shit"
"also don't call me bucky it ain't my name and ya know it ain't" the other student rolled his eyes "geez bucky it wouldn't kill ya ta be nice for a change, now would it?"
"it would, now if you'll excuse me" he pushed the other student to the side. "i have a class to get to" and walked into class.
"asshole!!" he heard him yell as he closed the door "goodmorning buck" his teacher said. "howdy ma'am sorry i'm late, i had some trouble on my way"
"don't ya worry yerself none, we're all human beings here buck, why don't ya sit down" she smiled "thanks ma'am" he said as he sat down in the back of the class, his favorite spot.
after his second class he had his first break, so he met up with matthew in the toilet stalls. "this place matt, and the folks it drives me crazy" he said while pacing back and forward.
"i know buddy, i'm sorry" he comforted buck, which wasn't always easy but he loved it when he did. "and now i've got this dumb meetin' with my counselor"
"ya don't like all of em talks huh?" "i don't they lead ta nothin' since i can't tell her nothin'." "bout what?"
"bout us and bout my dad hittin' me, can't tell her nothin' bout bein' scared of gettin' outed either, i can't tell her nothin.
"i know i'm sorry buck" he gave him a quick hug. "looks like time's up buddy, i'll see ya here again soon and buck?"
"yeah?" "i love ya" he gave buck a quick kiss and walked out, buck walked out soon after aswell. he walked the halls and got some ugly stares.
he'd always hated those it made him feel like folks knew, it made him feel scared and ashamed, he didn't like to feel like what he had with matthew was wrong.
he'd loved matthew, sometimes more than he loved himself, he'd feel safe with matthew he loved his body his hair his eyes his everything.
but most of all he loved his personality, he'd always be there for buck, he'd go through hell for him he'd always be there to protect him and reassure him.
he wouldn't know what to do without him.
he walked into the counselor's office where he got greeted. "welcome back mr.maverick" "buck is just fine" "oh i'm sorry" "it's fine"
there was an awkward silence for a minute or two when the counselor finally spoke up. "so buck are you gonna tell me anything?"
"not tryin' ta be rude, but does it look like i am?" the counselor didn't like that. "listen buck, i can't force you to talk and even if i could i wouldn't, but you have to understand that i want to help you in whatever way possible, now it seems to me that you're one of the fellas who shuts everyone out leaving you to deal with everything on your own, is that correct?"
"fftt" buck blew out some air. "i don't shut everyone out, i talk ta folks but ya just don't happen ta be one of em"
"buck please, just talk to me maybe i can help" "bullshit, as soon as i tell ya what's been eatin' me up it's over fer me"
"i ain't tellin' ya shit, and ya know what i've had enough a this, have fun questionin' yer next suspect" he grabbed his bag and walked out of the office.
it was second break and things weren't going well at all "what kinda fuckery is this" "actin' like i just murdered a man" "ya know, maybe i should"
"buck?" "yeah?" matthew put his hand on buck's cheeck. "it's okay buck, it ain't like he's forcin' ya ta talk" he was carresing his cheek with his thumb now
"i..i know i just" he blew out some air "don't worry bout it cowboy, listen ya have a hard life harder than anyone here, yer holdin' up real well for what yer goin' through"
"i hate bein' like this" "like what?" "like this, i'm an asshole ta folks fer no reason, i'm just horrible ta be around"
"bullshit buck!!, yer just like this whatever that's supposed ta mean because o yer dad, if this is anyone's fault it's yer dad's fault ya hear?" "it don't matter i'm still an asshole aren't i"
"yer tryin' buck, that's all yer able ta do
it ain't yer fault you oughta understand that, now c'mere"
he kissed buck deeply, trying to cheer him up like this.
and to his surprise it actually worked
he pulled back. "i love ya buck"
"i love ya too matt"
school was over and they met up at the gate, finally this day was over, tho it'd mean he'd have to see his father again, it was somehing he didn't look forward to.
there was one good thing, matthew worked at his fathers ranch, he was an amazing ranch hand and that's why he took that oportunity to spend more time with buck.
it's one of the best things matthew had done for buck, and he'd been happy when he did it.
they arrived at the ranch after 30 minutes of walking, his dad was outside with a beer in his hand, of course he was drinking.
"what the hell took ya so long boy?"
"don't know, ever heard of walkin'??"
"what'd ya just say? ya better ain't mouthin' me off boy"
"ya asked i awnsered"
he slapped buck across his face. "ya better not be late again" matt stood there, he couldn't handle seeing it happen, the fact that his dad didn't feel ashamed doing it almost made him puke.
buck nodded. "i wont be" his dad went back inside. matthew walked up to him, feeling horrible he couldn't hit the asshole.
"are you okay?" "i'm fine, lets just get ta work" they were working when matthew broke the silence. "buck are you okay? and don't give me that lets get back ta work bullshit"
"matt it's fine, this shit happens daily i'm used to it by now, can we just please go back to work? i don't feel like talkin' right now i'm sorry"
matthew understood so he nodded, after working for around 2 hours it was 4 pm, and that meant they were done for the day.
buck was excited since he'd be sleeping at matthew's house again today, and he didn't mind not seeing his father.
it took them around 40 minutes, but once arrived matthew knocked on the door. his father opened the door.
"hey papa we're back"
he let them in. "i was wonderin' if i could talk to ya in private fer a moment" "sure son" "i'll see ya upstairs buck" buck nodded and went up.
"so what's this about matthew?" "it's about what y'all was talkin' bout earlier" "what's that?" "y'all was talkin' bout me and buck bein' queer or somethin'."
"oh that, listen ya know how yer mama can get, besides it ain't like yer actually queer right?"
"no no of course i ain't buck's just a close friend a mine"
"he's yer only friend ya mean" his dad corrected him "also that, well im glad we talked bout this, didn't need ya ta think i was some kinda queer"
"sure thing son" matthew was walking to the stairs. "dinner'll be ready soon" he nodded, he hated lying about who he was but it was for buck's safety.
after they had dinner, matthew and buck went upstairs and into his room locking the door.
they took of their boots and their shirts and got into matthew's double bed, buck layed on matthew's chest. it was one of his favorite things in the world
"god, i'm so fuckin' lucky ta have ya matt, i know i can be a tough one sometimes, but yer always there and i love ya for it"
matthew was stroking buck's hair "it ain't yer fault that yer like that, besides i love ya more than anythin' i'd die before i'd leave ya buck, i ain't kiddin'."
"you're such a softy" "oh don't you start now" he giggled. they talked for around 5 more minutes till they both fell asleep.
authors note*
so this is my first actual story with grammar and all that stuff, so you might find that story lacks sometimes or that it just doesn't hit that thing you've been aiming for, but keep in mind this is a depressed tired gay 15 year old writing about a well.. tired gay 15 year old.
but i think this'll be good and i