Authors note: hi, this is just something I wanted to try. My laptop is broken, so writing this using dictation on my phone, excuse any grammar mistakes. I read one or two of these today, and they weren't really what I was looking for so I'm just going to write my own.

Features you can be looking forward to in this newspaper are some of the following.

The latest gossip written by Jessica Stanley

Emmett Cullen's advice column

Plenty of humour promised by me

If you have any suggestions just review or PM me

Here goes!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight

Forks high newspaper

January 2005

The hottest gossip

By Jessica Stanley

January 18

Isabella Marie Swan is like coming to forks. Inside sources say that her mother like, abandoned her dad. It was like, one of the like, most like, worst things that like, happened in that time. I was like a baby though so I wouldn't like know. Inside sources, a.k.a. me, say that she is like plain with like brown hair and brown eyes so boring I think she even like knows she's ugly. She's shy, and like a clumsy, and like dumb. I'm only friends with her because like well I can tell you because she won't like read this newspaper anyway. I'm only friends with her because like, Edward Cullen, was like staring at her in the cafeteria. Maybe if they're like friends then she'll like recommend him for me to like date and then he'll date me and we'll get married and we'll have like babies and like hot sex. I am like so j Notj ealous. And to top it all off, they are like, like lab partners in like biology! Wish it was me, though I don't like, like biology anyways.#JessicaStanleyInLoveWithEdwardCullen. Make a trend on Twitter forks girls!

January 21

like me and like Mike Newton just like broke up again, no comment.

January 25

Edward Cullen, the like, hottest guy in Forks hi, just returned from school after mysterious absence. Ohh, journalism skills really developing here. Anyways, Eddie is like hot. He and like Isabella the idiot Swan got in a car crash today, he was being noble and saved her. He was just doing it because he like thought it would make me like upset. Karin's Eddie! Anyway, Bella got the whole day off school today, like the whole like day.#Unfaare.

Katie Marshall like just totally like complained about the like cafeteria food to like the principal, don't blame her though.

Emmetts advice column

Hello, it's me Emmett. This is my advice column, And I will be only taking one answer a month from the most interesting person. We already have a response for this January yes you, here it is.

Emmett, I am like so in love with a guy but he like doesn't notice me. Let's just call him Edmond. Edmond like likes my friend, Brenda. Least I think he does, how do I get him to notice me? ~ inLoveJ

InLoveJ, I think it's pretty obvious who you're talking about. My brother Edward, isn't interested in anyone that you need to know about. F* off Jessica, ~Emmett

Principal complaints

It is only been one month, but we are here by opening application for a new chief article writer. It's clear that Jessica Stanley is not up for the challenge, as it said in the form that voicing personal opinion is absolutely banned.

Foul language is not permitted in the newspaper, however I appreciate you crossing it out, mett. Now, only a warning.

The most talked about person in the paper this week is…

Edward Cullen

Have a good month students of forks high, and make sure to buy the next issue at the end of February

Like it? Hate it? Have issues? Please give me a review with your feedback and or criticism. I appreciate only constructive criticism, but I'm not going to go on about it because that's boring. Have a great day

Love,

Nevaeh Xoxoxo