The Wrong Contact
A/N: Thanks to my coworkers for the inspiration (though not in the context of a story idea) and my dad for the joke. I lay reluctant claim to the wrong answer.
Harold Stein was at the gym, taking a break between reps (and if he was more often taking breaks than doing reps, well, everyone had to start somewhere, right?) when a fellow exerciser—one who, from the look of his biceps, was not more often taking breaks than doing reps—sat down next to him on the bench, wiping his face with a towel.
"Hey, man," the stranger greeted.
"Hey," Harold replied, pursing his lips enviously. Too busy wondering how long—how many dreaded reps—it might take him to get arms like that, he almost missed the man's next words.
"Heard any good bear jokes lately?"
Harold blinked, then blinked again.
The man grinned at him expectantly.
"…uh, no?"
"Well, I've got one! What do you call a bear with no ears?"
Harold tried to think, but puns had never been his forte. "Uhh…"
The man waited patiently.
Harold grasped at straws. "…Hearing im-bear-ed?"
"No—'b'!" The man laughed, slapping Harold on the shoulder. "Get it? 'B'…'ears'—'bears'!"
"Oh, sure! Heh." Harold chuckled half-heartedly, still more confused than anything. The man just wandered back toward the weights, still laughing to himself.
Harold decided he might as well just head home for the night.
Snicker. "Just wait until—uh, Procyon—hears about this! He already thinks you're a dork!"
Sigh. "Hush, Betelgeuse, I'm trying to give Polaris intel here—Polaris, that was not your contact."
"Yes, thank you, Rigel, I gathered that."
"Sorry. Just stay there, okay? Your actual contact should be in soon. He'll be wearing the same shirt as that guy, but hopefully give the actual countersign."
"Copy, Rigel."
"Hey, uh, Polaris?"
Sigh. "Yes, Vega, what is it?"
"Did you—" muffled snort—"have that joke prepared just in case, or make it up on the spot?"
"Classified, Vega. And, Betelgeuse…"
Suspiciously-timed cough. "Yes, Polaris?"
"…never mind."
Cheat sheet:
Polaris - Ethan
Rigel - Brandt
Betelgeuse - Benji
Vega - Jane
Procyon - Luther