Reliability

By: Aviantei

21—In Proximity V

The scars the storms leave over the earth

When, not if.

Meaning that, even if it was just in her subconscious, Kaizuto Megumi had already decided that calling Akashi Seijuro was an acceptable course of action in the event that she encountered her siblings.

Meaning that she, unlike before, was asserting that there could be another outcome to her situation than letting it pass.

Meaning that she, for the first time, had admitted that she wanted to be saved.

Those sorts of thoughts had been running through her head as she and Akashi headed back from the Shogi Club's room to the gym, and they were still running through her head, even as the members started to arrive, received instructions from Shirogane, and loaded into their respective busses. Unlike the time Megumi had accompanied the Second String to their practice match, there was no separation of the team members, and everyone had been free to go as they pleased so long as everyone was present and accounted for, which had happened with no issues. As Rakuzan students, they were all as impeccable about their punctuality and following of instructions as they were anything else.

It didn't change the fact that, at the end of the day, they were still a bunch of teenage boys, though.

As such, the bus that Megumi ended up in was very loud.

She'd expected as much, but it was still a bit difficult to handle after the stress of her brother staying over. All the chatter and laughter echoed inside her ears, and Megumi had taken to resting her head up against the window, trying to pass the time while zoned out. It didn't help that all the people combined together were making the growing temperature of the day all the more obvious. For the first time in a long time, Megumi felt frustration towards Yūta for giving her such inconvenient injuries for the weather.

But getting angry at him wasn't going to change her current situation, so Megumi simmered in her frustration along with her shawl, dealing with the heat as it came. Being the one girl in the club, Megumi would at least have some privacy in the evenings and when going to sleep. She could last that long. It wasn't like this was the first time she'd had to deal with such inconveniences. She'd make it through.

You didn't say if you contact me, you said when.

When, not if. Why was a simple difference in words so significant?

"Do you need some water, Kaizuto-san?"

Higuchi was her seat mate, and he'd let her be for the most part, correct in assuming that she'd want to be left on her own while they traveled. He'd procured a bottle of water from somewhere and had offered it to her. Megumi accepted it with a quiet thanks. Even though the drink was lukewarm, it was still refreshing in its own way, and she'd need to stay hydrated throughout the week if the weather was going to be like this.

"You don't need to worry too much about me, Higuchi-senpai. It's not too much longer until we get there. But I appreciate it."

"Well, I just figured I'd check, considering." Ah, yes, considering how much of a disaster Megumi was; what a quaint way to put it. "But if you're alright, that's what matters. Lemme know if you need anything else, though. You getting there early to put everything in order before the rest of us showed up helped way more than I expected it to."

Megumi hummed, fidgeting with the folded cuffs of her shorts to keep herself busy. "Is that your way of saying that your expectations of me are low enough that you didn't even think I could handle that much?"

"What? No, Kaizuto, that's not—" Higuchi cut himself off, noticing Megumi's faint smile. "That…You were teasing me, weren't you?" Megumi nodded, feeling just as surprised herself that she'd managed to crack a joke whenever so much of the world beforehand had been so far away from a joke, even just a few hours beforehand. Higuchi sighed, running a hand down his face. "Man, you sure know how to catch a guy off guard. Almost gave me a heart attack. But yeah, what I mean is that I've been manager by myself for so long that I keep forgetting how helpful it is to have someone else around. It's nice to have reliable help, after all."

Try as she might, Megumi couldn't help but puff up a bit at the praise. Even if it seemed misguided, even if he didn't know the whole of her story, Higuchi still thought Megumi was reliable. And, unlike Akashi's expectations, the idea that Higuchi was counting on her had a whole lot less pressure that came with it.

He doesn't know, though; Higuchi has no idea; if he saw how broken you were, not even a full day ago, what would he think? He wouldn't want to count on you for anything ever again, a voice inside her head said, and Megumi deflated the next instant. It was right, after all, because she hadn't changed at all.

You didn't say if you contact me, you said when.

No, she had changed. But even if that were the case, what did that change matter in the end? Did it matter? Did any of it?

"I'm just glad I could help," Megumi said, meaning it, but her voice still came out quiet. "It's part of my job as Rakuzan's manager, after all."

From the next seat over, it seemed as if Akashi had glanced in her direction, making eye contact for a second, but the moment was over so quick that it was just as possible that she had imagined it.

When, not if.

Megumi spent the rest of the bus ride resting against the window, trying to nap but not succeeding.

Once they made it to the ryokan, quelling her thoughts became much easier. There was so much to do, what with checking in at the hotel and organizing everyone between their rooms. Shirogane and Higuchi handled these tasks, the latter calling up the pre-chosen group representatives and passing out keys and informing everyone of their room numbers. There was a great deal of hustle as everyone moved their bags inside with instructions to report back outside within an hour, as their rented gyms were within walking distance. Retreating from the cacophony outside, Megumi stuck behind, combing over each of the busses to make sure that no one had left something important behind. It was almost reassuring, seeing the indominable Rakuzan members drop their chargers and music players underneath the bus seats on accident.

"There you are, Kai-chan!"

The voice calling from the front of the bus made Megumi jump, scattering the small collection of things that she'd had tucked underneath her arm. With a yelp, she scrambled to pick up the load, checking that she hadn't broken anything fragile. By the time she was done and looked up, Mibuchi had already stepped further down the aisle, his head almost scrapping the ceiling, and Megumi tried to stop her heart from leaping right out of her mouth.

Why'd he come looking for me? I didn't do something wrong, did I? I mean, if it was something important, wouldn't Coach or Higuchi-senpai or Akashi-kun come and get me? No, wait, Mibuchi-san's the Vice Captain, so of course it's normal to come tell me something, but I don't know how to handle him, not so soon after dealing with Nii-san, nope, nope, nope—

If Mibuchi was upset with her, it didn't show on his face (but that didn't mean anything, no, not when people could change at the drop of a hat). "If you have stuff to give back to everyone else, I'll take care of it," he said, and Megumi could feel her pulse quicken. Did he not think she was capable of doing that much? Sounded about right; she didn't think she was capable most of the time, either. "You haven't had the time to settle into your room yet, right? Go ahead and do that now so you don't have to rush before we head out for afternoon practice."

Huh?

Megumi blinked, taking a little bit too long to process what he'd just said. Wasn't there going to be some kind of dismissive tone in his words, some kind of show of displeasure for having to go and take care of what was Megumi's job? Don't complain, take the chance to get out.

"R-right." Trying not to make her shaking all too obvious, Megumi offered the small pile of music players and charger cords to Mibuchi, who took it without much issue. "U-um, if you'll excuse me, Mibuchi-senpai…" She had to wait for him to step into the closest seat to give her enough room to walk up the aisle, and even then her flight instinct was going off so hard it was a miracle she didn't just sprint out of the bus. Still feeling panicked, it took Megumi a bit too long to remember that she'd left her bags with Coach Shirogane. Not wanting to cause troubles by running late, Megumi set him as her first goalpost and tried to focus on that for the time being.

"Ah, there you are," Shirogane said in substitute of any sort of standard greeting. "You're one of the last people that we need to get settled in. Your room number is…" A handful of logistics later, Megumi could focus on what she needed to do: get settled in her room before reporting back. It was a welcome relief from figuring out what had just happened with Mibuchi. It didn't matter that nothing bad had happened; anything and everything felt like too much if it wasn't predictable, and diving into a new situation didn't help much. Still, Shirogane didn't say anything about her state, so maybe she was externally keeping it together if nothing else. "We'll be leaving for the gym in the next half an hour, so report back outside by then, Kaizuto."

"Yes, Coach," she said before scooping up her duffel bag and following the ryokan attendant's instructions. Megumi scurried through the halls, thankful that it seemed most of the team was too occupied with enjoying the travel experience to be bothered with noticing her. Oh, there was the obvious sound of chattering coming out from the open doors, but that was manageable enough, she was almost—

"Hey, Kaizuto-san, do you need a hand?"

Caught off guard once more, Megumi had to swallow to keep the yelp trapped in her throat. Her brain rushed through scenarios, trying to figure out if it would be worse for Mibuchi to have caught up with her or dealing with another one of the first string starters—but neither of those situations happened. Instead, Megumi found herself staring down a fellow club member who looked somewhat familiar. With his stylish clothes, he didn't quite look like a member of a basketball team from first glance, but she could recognize the dyed blonde hair and the deep black of his eyes—maybe.

"Sato…san?" she asked, hoping that she was thinking of the right person.

His face lit up, which seemed to indicate that she was right. He was one of the members of the second string, then. "Hey, you remembered! I'm impressed; I usually don't have that good of a memory for people if they haven't at least talked to me a few times." Megumi winced; she'd rather been avoiding any other players, not quite ready to expand her social circle beyond club necessities. Not that that had stopped Akashi, but there wasn't much that could stop Akashi in the first place. "But like I said, did you need help with your bag? I can carry that for you."

Megumi clutched onto her duffel bag's strap, shrinking back into herself. "No, it's okay. I don't have all that much to carry."

"Yeah, but you did a lot of hard work earlier getting things ready for us." Sato reached out, lifting up the bag from underneath. Even if he didn't touch her in the process, he was too close for comfort. "I'm guessing your room is near ours. Where are you going?"

"I mean it; it's fine." Megumi stepped back, trying to keep her breathing under control. There was an impending panic attack coming, she knew it, but if she could retreat quickly enough, she could at least have it in the privacy of her own room, rather than in the middle of the hall where the entire Basketball Club could watch. "You have practice coming up, so you should be getting ready for that instead of worrying about me, Sato-san."

"But—"

"Hey, hey, are we having a problem here, Manager-chan?"

That time, Megumi could have recognized Hayama's voice anywhere, if only because he was the only one that called her that. Already dressed in his practice gear, he still managed to look plenty intimidating, especially with Nebuya right behind him. The only other person she would want to see her like this less was Akashi, so Megumi did her best to pull herself together and shake her head.

"I was just trying to settle into my room," she said, her voice wavering a bit. Nebuya tried to meet her eyes, but she avoided his gaze, not wanting to start a scene whatsoever. "Sato-san offered to help, but I don't need it, that's all."

She was staring at the ground, so she couldn't tell if either of them had disbelieving looks on their faces, and Hayama let out a hum. "Well!" he said after a moment, his tone as light as ever. "You should go ahead and take care of that, Manager-chan. Wouldn't want to be late." Hayama dropped his arm around Sato's shoulders. "Hey, since she's okay, why don't we do some warm-ups together to get ready? Consider it a gift from a senpai to his kōhai…"

And before Sato could protest, he was already being escorted down the hall. Megumi dared to look up, noticing a few players peering out from their doorways and whispering, though they all retreated from a single pointed look from Nebuya. "You want an escort to your room, Kaizuto?" he asked, though unlike Sato's insistence, it was an actual question.

"I'll be fine, Nebuya-san. Thank you." All she wanted at the moment was some room to breathe, and she was running out of time to do it. "I'll, um…be sure to see you at practice." And then she retreated while the hall was still plenty clear, easily finding her room in under a minute. It took a bit longer than it should have to grasp the key and unlock it, but soon she was in the entrance.

Her carefully constructed mental list of what she would need to do to get settled had slipped away. She knew that she needed to unpack, needed to orient herself with what was available, but all she could manage to do was lock the door behind her and drop her bag. Her back hit the wall, and she slid down to the ground, feeling more helpless than ever before.

This was just one of the most overwhelming days she had had in a long time. It would be a different matter if Yūta hadn't been around. Sure, it would have been a lot, and she would have felt a bit unstable, but she wouldn't have been this close to breaking apart if he hadn't been around.

"And this is only the first day, too…" Megumi groaned into her hands, not wanting to be loud enough for anyone passing by to hear. That was going to be a problem for crying, too, but at least she had experience in that one. No, the real challenge was going to be pulling herself together in enough time that she was a functioning person for practice and no one would be able to immediately notice that she'd been crying her eyes out within the past hour.

Well, let's get this over with, she thought, setting a timer on her phone and curling up in a ball before she let the tears flow.

It was the first time that she could remember actively hating her brother.

That feeling only intensified whenever evening rolled around. Somehow she'd managed to survive through the afternoon's practice—Higuchi noticing that she wasn't at her best and putting her on the back lines helped—and she declined to join the rest of the team for dinner, instead opting to eat the provided meal at a later time, just for the peace of mind. Again, Higuchi had vouched for her, but Shirogane at least didn't seem to have an issue.

"If it doesn't interfere with your performance with the team, then do as you please," he'd said. "Just make sure you don't miss any meals."

So, no, none of that was a direct reason to hate Yūta for what he'd done, more than the obvious at any rate. But instead, Megumi was facing a hurdle that she hadn't even calculated for in her rush to get out of the house that morning.

Taking a bath.

She didn't deal with public baths much; in fact, she could only really remember going to them once or twice in elementary school, and that had been with her full family, before the abuse had started. And by the time overnight class trips were a thing, Megumi hadn't been able to handle crowds long enough to go. She had no idea how to handle this.

In her room, it was obvious that the bruises were still an ugly smattering of colors across her arms, far too obvious without the cover of clothes. It sucked because not only had practice left her slicked over in a layer of grossness, but also because a bath would have been an excellent way to unwind from the stress.

"But no," Megumi muttered to herself as she sucked it up got ready to go anyways, hoping she'd be lucky enough to get to the bath when it was almost empty. Even if she didn't get the opportunity to soak, she could at least scrub herself down. "Onii-san has to take everything good from me, just like he always does—"

She bumped into someone with enough force that she almost tripped. Megumi scrambled to apologize, wondering how she'd managed to collide with another person, even when she was so deep in her thoughts, but the answer became obvious in the next second.

Staring at her with unimpressed gray eyes was Mayuzumi.

[Author's Notes]

Don't mind me, I'm just gonna use training camp as an excuse to do all the character interactions.

Thanks to Shion Lee, AnimeLover345643, LoveToBake, Supix, the apple seed, LadyDream3512, Clangclang formerly Clang, relovutionary, Wtfmirez, Xx1DaY4dReAmEr3xX, WildDev13, AlexisHard, staywithskz, alice-chan8, HalfwayParanoid, black55, WisteriaEyed, and deianara for the faves, follows, and reviews! The sheer volume of support gets me every time.

I'm on vacation (getting some much needed unwinding time) atm, so I don't have too much to say. Check out walk steady on this cruel world's path if you're a kny fan, since that's still happening, and stay tuned for this year's [Twelve Shots of Summer] season, in which the [Nine Tales] theme means my co-mod has suckered me into probably writing a quick Naruto fic (as if I wasn't distracted enough by Yuukoku no Moriarty).

Next chapter is like...2/3rds of the way written so we'll see how that goes. It features Mayuzumi, some good news for once, and I think maybe some basketball, idk, it's almost like that's an important part of the canon or something. In any event, please look forward to it!

-Avi

[05.28.2022]