So, if you're tired of Cable and coffee stunts, don't read any more. If you aren't, come join me! :D

I found a story in my notebook that I had half-written and then half-forgotten. I had watched the episode where an unbearable lawyer asks Cable for coffee and she does something to it and that had inspired the "Coffee by Cable" stories as a prequel to the show. Well, when I saw it again, I figured that it might be fun to actually deal with it in canon as well, referencing what she learned in "Coffee by Cable" as well as explaining her actions in that episode, season 1 episode 2, "The Woman in 8D".

So, enjoy! :D

...

Cable hoped that she was not cutting her lip with how fiercely she was biting it but she could not stop. If she did, she knew she would want to turn back to that smug lawyer who - despite being in the middle of a conversation about gender bias - had just turned to her and asked, "Could you rustle up a cup of coffee for me, sweetheart?"

SWEETHEART!

Marissa had been about to diplomatically intervene. Cable knew what she would say, because she had heard it all before. Marissa would have mentioned how Cable was young but capable and valued in her role as a computer technician, with an implied message that coffee fetching was not within her job description. As Cable had learned long ago, teamwork and lending a hand on the team was expected, but service for haughty lawyers was thankfully not! There had been a time long ago - a lot longer in her retellings than in Dr. Bull's - when she had refused to do that, with interesting consequences for all involved. Her mouth quirked at the corners as she remembered that time. Dr. Bull had not been entirely pleased with her sulky attempt at revenge on poor Benny.

...

A recollection from long time ago (or not so long, according to Dr. Bull):

"You're on dish duty for the week, you're not going to using your head phones for the rest of the day, and you are going to apologize to Benny for acting like a brat to him," Dr. Bull said sternly, unplugging her head phones as he spoke. Cable shrunk back a little in her chair with a frown.

"That's not..."

"It IS fair, unless you think I'm being too lenient," he said drily.

"Lenient!" she yelped.

Bull just gave her a look.

"Fine," she muttered,

"Look, I'm getting tired of this. Fix the attitude," Bull said.

...

Cable had to keep the potential smile from twitching its way fully into the open. She remembered that she was fully annoyed at the lawyer and his sexist (and likely ageist) request, and the smile that came to her face was her sickeningly sweet, don't-mind-me-I'm-not-plotting-devious-revenge-as sanctioned by Dr. Bull.

.....

Another recollection from long or not-long ago:

Dr. Bull had smiled at her.

"You can use that coffee trick on as many lawyers and undesirable clients as you want - but Benny's the one lawyer that gets a free pass."

...

So although she no longer doused teammates with bitter coffee, she technically had free reign when it came to lawyers.

And this idiot was legally one, even if he did seem cut from a different cloth from Benny, who she adored and respected (a lot more now than she had when this coffee technique had been pioneered).

Cable stopped Marissa from her explanatory intervention and smiled sweetly. "I was about to get myself a cup," she said compliantly. What a good little housewife she would make!

And she might take advantage of her Bull-sanctioned freedom right about now.

"Might" turned to certainty as she snatched the mustard out of the kitchenette fridge.

...

When Cable went back to her desk, she was a little disappointed that the lawyer had left.

"Where'd the douche go?" she asked Marissa as she reclaimed her seat and sipped on her own coffee, her eyes becoming once again locked on the screen as she analyzed the data that was visible.

Marissa explained, then examined the cup of coffee that Cable had placed on the edge of the desk. "Did you spit in this?"

"No."

Marissa lifted the mug toward her lips and Cable cut in quickly, "But don't drink it."

Marissa set the mug down without a word, although the amused smile on her lips when Cable glanced up let her know that Marissa was completely on her side in this situation. That felt warmer than any brew that she could whip up.

...

Dr. Bull looked around the office for his full cup of coffee. He had carried it out of his office and set it down at some point when giving an explanation to a client. As he walked past the desk where Cable and Marissa had been working earlier, he saw an untouched mug of coffee. As far as he could recall, it was the same colour as the cup he had been drinking from earlier.

It must be mine from when I was consulting with them earlier. I'm surprised Cable didn't steal it. She does that sometimes.

Unsuspectingly, Bull lifted the cup and took a deep drink of the now-cooled beverage. Within two seconds, his taste buds woke up and did their job to alert him to potential poison. He started spluttering wildly.

Cable!

...

"Hey, Cable."

There was a clink on her desk and her eyes darted to the mug in front of her.

Uh oh.

She looked up at Bull and bit her lower lip lightly to keep from laughing as she asked, "Did you end up drinking it?!"

"Yes," he said drily, sitting on her desk. "I take it you met Mr. Unbearable Lawyer and were pressed into using your barista skills?"

"Well, yeah, although I've been calling him Douche instead." She nodded toward the coffee. "Sorry you ended up with that. But how?"

"I thought it was the mug that I misplaced sometime while dealing with clients. And don't apologize. I'm sorry that you had to put up with the guy, whatever you call him!"

Cable laughed and rolled her eyes.

"You could always compensate me with a bonus, you know."

"What about $5 so you can get a nice cup of coffee when you come in to work tomorrow?"

"Deal!" she beamed happily, taking the $5 Dr. Bull was indulgently offering her.

Dr. Bull laughed, then began walking away.

"Hey!"

"What?" he asked, turning around.

"Take it with you," she ordered, pointing to the mug of disgusting liquid. "I don't want to drink any of it by accident!"

Dr. Bull laughed and lightly tugged on her hair as he retrieved the mug.

"Can't take your own medicine, huh?"

She mock glared at him.

"I have in the past - due to YOU!"

He chuckled at the memory.

"When was that? Last year?"

"No! A long, loooooong time ago!"

He shook his head. "It wasn't that long ago."

"It was so!"

"Not."

"Want to give me the $5 back?"

"Fine. Maybe not that long ago, but longer than a year!"

He laughed, then nodded.

"Sure. We can go with that."

"That's the truth!"

Dr. Bull was laughing enough that he did not reply, just walked away with the mug of coffee.

About ten seconds later, Cable heard spluttering again. She twisted around to see what was going on.

"What...?"

"I took a drink out of habit," he groaned.

Cable laughed fully.

At least she could say that she somehow tricked Dr. Bull twice in one day, without even trying!

And that was far more recent than the previous little coffee debacle.

Leaning back in her chair, she chuckled to herself. It was true that "(s)he who laughs last laughs best"!

...

I hope that made you smile a little!

Blessings, MM