Zuko had never been much of a religious person, not even a spiritual one. He was familiar with various rituals and processions but he had always performed it mechanically. While in theory beholden to Agni and the other gods, the true, unspoken cult of his family was the worship of themselves.

The first time he began to genuinely pray to a higher power was at Azula's funeral. He prayed for his sanity and even more for his sister's spirit to find peace. Despite how grand and somber the ceremony was, he couldn't shake the feeling that it simply wasn't enough when taking into account how she lived and more importantly, how she died. The events kept playing out again in his head.

When he said he wanted to put her in her place, he imagined a prison cell at worst, not a grave. His true desire had been to, for once in her life, have Azula acknowledge that he was her superior.

It was this desire that led to his overconfidence. He learned the strength of true firebending from the dragons themselves, he knew how to redirect lightning, Azula was in a weakened and unwell state, surely he could take her, a one on one duel seemed reasonable. When he realized that she was still quite a match, he had the brilliant idea of goading and taunting her into using lightning. He knew he could control it, or so he thought. He had managed to knock out his father without killing him, surely he could do it again.

Instead... instead...

Katara ran out into the arena and Azula decided to switch targets. Zuko noticed just in time and quickly repositioned himself. As the lightning flowed through him he was certain he could finally end the match and targeted a spot right in front and underneath his sister... but she charged forward in the meantime and it was by then too late to control or redirect his attack.

The lightning hit her right in the stomach, even her armor stood no chance against it, it was destroyed by the impact. He cursed that armor sometimes, if it hadn't „protected" her he wouldn't have had to witness what came next.

The gods had decided not to give her the mercy of a quick and sudden death, as punishment for her sins or for his own, he could no longer tell.

Katara had managed to heal a deadly injury like that before but without the special spirit water with which she had healed Aang, all her best efforts proved futile. She couldn't even ease the pain.

There was a lot of it. Azula was writhing in it in every part of her body.

But it was nothing compared to what was going on with her mind.

Zuko could sense that there was something off about her the moment he saw her on that fateful day. When her body collapsed, her sanity did too. In the last hours and minutes of her life she was obviously being haunted and tortured by voices and visions. Azula was unable to distinguish what was truly real around her and what not. As she convulsed in her suffering she kept begging Ozai not to hurt her, Mai and Ty Lee to forgive her and for her mother not to leave her alone.

Zuko asked the doctors in the royal infirmary to at least give her some sedatives but they warned him that in her weakened state they would likely kill her. Zuko could only watch with ever increasing helplessness and horror as the life slowly left her. He could only hold her hand and fruitlessly plead for her to fight, to not give up. At last he said the words he had dismissed as cruel mockery only shortly before: „I'm sorry it ended this way."

In her last moment of lucidity she squeezed his hand back tightly and managed to whisper: „I know, you're stupid enough to feel this way, dum-dum. Tell mom the monster is gone."

Those were her last words, and soon after she drew her last breath.

Ever since then, Zuko kept asking himself, what was he thinking? He was eventually forced to admit to himself, that like so often in his life, he wasn't thinking at all."

Some days after the event he went to the prison where his dethroned and de-bended father Ozai was now being held. He really didn't want to but informing him of the fact seemed like the honorable thing to do. Zuko inwardly prepared and steeled himself, he expected Ozai to be furious, violent even... or at least upset. What he ended up encountering sickened him to his core.

Ozai congratulated him.

Zuko wanted to believe it was sarcasm, a ploy to get under his skin but the more he listened to his father, the more he looked into his eyes the more horrifying the sincerity became. Ozai even said how proud he was of him, how he finally proved himself, how he now had the needed skill and ruthlessness to be Fire Lord. When confronted by the question how he could talk like that about his own daughter, his favorite, he had this to say:

If she could be killed by Zuko, then she didn't deserve to live in the first place.

Her brother's world turned upside down even more than before. For so long he had been so furious at her for stealing his father away from him, now he knew beyond the shadow of a doubt what a cursed gift that was, a prize no one deserved to have. His sister had sacrificed her soul for a place in the heart of someone who was truly heartless. What a sad waste of a life.

The thought of pressing Ozai about the location of his mother had crossed Zuko's mind but he could not bring himself to do it. How could he face his mother with the blood of his blood on his hands?

Remembering his father's utterly cruel and inhumane reaction to his sister's death an even darker thought and fear began to grip Zuko. What if the beloved and treasured mother of his memories reacted in a similar way? What if she forgave him all too easily, or worse, not blame him at all?

He wouldn't actively search for her. The news about the war's end, his ascension to Fire Lord and about Azula's death would eventually spread to even the remotest corner of the world. If his mother wished to face him, she would find a way, and if she didn't, he couldn't and wouldn't blame her.

Zuko bitterly realized that he and Azula were both duped by the same man into hating and fighting each other. Now it was too late to reconcile.

Or was it?

He had tried to honor her memory, both in private and in public. Some considered it a cynical attempt to ward of revenge assassinations but at least his friends knew he was sincere. Though, not all of them were understanding or approving.

At least Mai understood, understood fully and stuck by his side. Just having her around was a blessing he couldn't do without. The pressure of ruling and restructuring the Fire Nation would have been bad enough without the guilt. It was bad, worse than he ever expected, but at least his countless duties made him forget for a while what he did to secure them. When he was free of them he could always seek out and find the comfort of Mai's touch.

He couldn't express in words how grateful he was to her for the simple act of sitting next to him during the times late at night when he sat before Azula's grave, deep in thought.

One one night, many months into Zuko's reign, the royal couple waited for a third person to join them, Avatar Aang. The young Fire Lord had asked the last Airbender how to access the Spirit World and since then they both researched and meditated. Over time Zuko was certain he could hear his sister's voice and feel her presence.

On this night they would finally attempt for him to cross to the other side, to find her soul and hopefully save it, if possible. Mai could sense her fiancees nervousness and turmoil and kindly asked him how he felt.

Zuko, an unmatched master of inner conflict, said: „I still can't really describe it. I know I should hate her, and I do, I hate everything vile she ever said and did to me, to you, to everyone... but it doesn't feel the same anymore. It's just... I can't... is there a word for it? You know what I mean?"

Mai somberly replied, but with a depth of warmth only she could pull off:

„I do. Just because I can't forgive her either, not yet, doesn't mean I don't mourn her. I would have killed her to defend you, I was even ready to attempt it to defend myself. Doesn't mean I ever wanted her dead. Although, sometimes I wish you hadn't told me about her deathbed apology to me and Ty Lee, maybe it would be easier for all of us."

„It still shouldn't have ended this way."

„Zuko, there was no way it could have ended well for her. Maybe she would have accepted her defeat and agreed to serve you, maybe. It's more likely she would have resisted. You would have had no other choice but to imprison her, perhaps for the rest of her life."

„If that happened, I could at least visit her, try to reform her, explain why and how she was in the wrong."

„She's the only person I've known who's more headstrong than you. You would have needed a LOT of patience and luck."

„My uncle managed to get through me."

„And if you failed, if she proved truly hopeless, irredeemable?"

„At least she would have known that I care about her, whether she likes it or not."

„You also told me her mind was completely gone in her last moments. If she had lived who could say if it would ever return."

„I would have tried to find a healer who could bring it back."

„And if no one could do it, if it proved impossible? She was always so proud of her wit and intellect. I don't know if she could live without them."

„But she would be alive, at least."

„I know for a fact she would have preferred death over losing her bending."

„Yeah, she would... But... I know you're trying your best. It's just... I keep hearing how no normal person should be feeling the way I feel about this, and it hurts. It hurts."

„But you are not a normal person Zuko, you are a hero. You're not just better than her, you are better than most. I will be by your side for as long as it takes, I promise. Perhaps only very few can understand but I know you need this, the world needs this. You can't lead the world to happiness while holding so much pain inside you, it will break you, and you are the last person on Earth who deserves it."

Zuko smiled, great love apparent in his eyes. He said trying to express it:

„You are truly the light of my life, love of my life."

Mai smiled in turn, saying:

„You don't need to try to be poetic for me to know you love me."

Zuko moved closer and they both kissed. After their lips broke their loving touch, they noticed the young Airbender had arrived.

Aang was opposed to killing whenever possible and everyone who knew him for any length of time described him as compassionate. This however, didn't mean he was truly sad about the passing of a girl who nearly ended him and whose cruel smile still haunted his dreams at times. What he did feel was pity and sorrow for the young man who killed her, her brother, the Fire Lord Zuko.

If she had been captured and imprisoned like Zuko intended, Aang thought, he would be able to get over her and forget her, instead of her memory haunting and slowly destroying him. It was critical to help him in any way he could, the peace of the world now depended in good part on the peace within the Fire Lord. From talking with the past Avatars Aang learned that there was a way to access the part of the Spirit World where human souls went to after death. He hoped after months of training and preparation Zuko would be able to access it and make peace with Azula, which might very likely be the most difficult part.

The greetings were short, they all knew what they wanted to do. Zuko sat down cross-legged, so did Mai and Aang to either side of him, holding each of his hands for emotional and spiritual support. Soon after closing his eyes Zuko's conscience was transported to another realm.

It was plain and grey, almost featureless but not far in front of him stood a tall, male figure, clad in white and featuring a long well kept beard. The spirit greeted him:

„I know why you're here, Fire Lord, welcome."

„Who are you?" Zuko asked.

„I went by many names throughout the ages but my most true name is Rahman Rahat."

„Are you here to guide me or hinder me? I won't be deterred if it's the latter."

„The soul of a true firebender, I see. For now, I wish to observe. Perhaps I will even comment."

„I'm not going back until I find what I came for!"

„Then you probably don't need to be told to just use your senses to find her."

Zuko nodded and started walking, the spirit close by his side. As he wandered he realized that the plane wasn't as empty as it first appeared. He could sense various „presences" around him, most likely those of other human souls. His mind was focused though, he wouldn't let them distract him from finding the soul of his sister. The more he advanced, the more he focused, the more he could sense her.

At last he did find her.

Her shape was quite visible. He just wished he didn't find her in the state he encountered. She was sitting in a metal chair, wrapped in chains, wearing what looked like a prisoner's uniform, obviously in pain. Her screams sounded as if she was being burnt.

Resisting the urge to rush towards her for just a moment, Zuko turned towards his companion and asked:

„What is the meaning of this?"

„She's working off part of her bad karma, the consequences of her actions in her most recent life. It was worse when she got here."

„Worse? How did it get „better" then?"

„The knowledge has gotten diminished over time in your world but praying for the dead, for their souls, does have an effect. Your sincere attempts to forgive her haven't gone unnoticed."

Zuko had an inkling of what he had to do now, but was far from certain he could do it. He approached Azula's imprisoned form. The look in her eyes was one of surprise and recognition, then sadness, but she seemed unable to speak any actual words, only moans of torment.

Unlike Aang, Zuko wasn't the type of person to just let things go but perhaps the kind of forgiveness the Avatar preached wasn't the only kind that existed. Zuko remembered in an instant all the feelings of turmoil and struggle the memory of his sister had brought him since her passing. He grabbed the chains wrapping her and felt their hotness and focused on his grip.

He summoned all the hatred he had ever felt for Azula but then used the energy of these raw emotions to intensify his anger and target what he should have hated too. He hated his father for molding her into a monster, his nation for raising them both into being ruthless killers, his ancestors for creating such a nation, the cruel hand of fate for giving his sister a soul so easily seduced into evil... he even started feeling anger towards his mother for making her feel unloved, even towards his uncle who sent him into battle against her, even towards himself for not realizing all of this so much earlier.

At last under his furious grip the chains broke and Azula was free, he was free.

Zuko noticed his sister breathing heavily, but breathing in relief. After a while she managed to recompose herself, stand up and look at her brother. Her eyes were filled both with surprise, incomprehension but also gratitude. She asked:

„Why, why did you do this?"

„I had to."

„Even after everything?"

„Even after everything." he proudly, happily replied.

Azula decided not to press for more words from him, they'd likely ruin the moment. Instead she asked:

„Do you know what will happen with me now?"

This time the spirit answered:

„With your debt forgiven, you will start a new life in a new body."

Azula looked back at Zuko with a shine in her eyes that he had never witnessed before. She spoke:

„I guess that means goodbye forever brother. I guess I will never be able to repay you for what you just did for me."

The spirit interjected again, saying:

„Oh, but there is. If you're both willing to take the option."

Rahman continued after he saw both siblings giving him a hopeful look:

„Usually when a soul reincarnates, before it returns to the human world, it has to drink from the waters of oblivion, which obscure its conscious memories of their previous life, for good or for ill. However, I could ferry the princess across and in her new life she would recognize and remember you, Fire Lord, and eventually everything that happened. A new start for the both of you, how does that sound?"

The siblings looked at each other intensely for a long, wordless while. Finally they gave each other a nod of understanding and Zuko asked the spirit:

„What would you like in return?"

„I'm glad you asked. You see, many things have become nearly forgotten in your world, including my name and how to honor it. I would like to be known again amongst humans, as Rahman Rahat, the re-uniter and pacifier of souls. Shrines, temples and official state promotion would go a long way."

„I promise to honor your request."

„Good. I trust in your sense of duty and honor, especially after witnessing it firsthand."

Soon after they all found themselves at the banks of the water Rahman spoke of. Neither sibling asked nor granted forgiveness to each other in words, there was no need for it. Before entering the ferry Azula moved close to Zuko and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Once on the other shore they waved serenely at each other until Azula disappeared into blue light.

When Rahman returned, Zuko had one final question:

„May I ask? What made you even tell us about this „option"?"

„What can I say, I cannot be completely impartial to Roku's progeny. Besides, the Avatar isn't the only one who could use the wisdom of previous lives."

„So will she be the exact same when she is reborn?"

„The core of her personality will remain but she will have to relearn a lot of things too. You both will have the second chance you both deserve."

In response, Zuko gave the spirit a bow of gratitude and respect before closing his eyes and finding himself back in the mortal world. He told Mai and Aang everything that happened and both took the news with delight.

While not completely free of all guilt, Zuko quickly became visibly happier, calmer and stronger. He fulfilled the promise he gave to the spirit with devotion and began counting the days until Azula's return. About nine months into the waiting time he had a vision in his dreams and woke up with the certain knowledge that it had finally happened. Now it was time to try and find her.

It had to be done in secret of course. If the knowledge got out too early a horde of unscrupulous people could try to take advantage and claim their child was the reincarnation of the princess. Thus, Zuko enlisted the help of Aang who taught Zuko the skill he had learned in the Foggy Swamp, of sensing and finding the presence of someone dear over great distance. Zuko was certain that if he could find Azula in the afterlife, he could find her in the world of the living too.

It still took several months. In the meantime, he asked Aang who accompanied him, how Avatars were identified. His friend told him about the toys that were used so Zuko somehow dug up the first toy his sister ever had and enjoyed, a small blue plush dragon.

At last they found the right house in one of the western islands of the nation. The family was somewhat impoverished, despite being lower nobility and had a couple children already. The parents told him that they somehow just knew it would be a girl and a firebender. He almost didn't believe his ears when he asked about the girl's name and learned it was Lala, Azula's old childhood nickname. They couldn't explain why they chose the name, only that no other name felt appropriate.

When Zuko finally saw the baby he immediately noticed that her eyes were the exact same as Azula's had been. Hope and excitement flooded him and he had to control himself. When presented with the choice between the blue dragon and other random toys, the baby picked the dragon without hesitation. With the parents' permission, Zuko took little „Lala" into his arms and softly spoke to her:

„I don't know if you remember me yet, but I think you're my little sister. I'm your brother."

The more the two looked into each other, the more warmth and joy Zuko was starting to feel and the look in the baby's eyes appeared very compellingly like recognition. It was however what happened next that removed all doubt. Lala opened her mouth struggling to make a sound but at last said:

„Zuzu!"

Over and over again until her brother just couldn't contain his tears anymore. With a voice he could barely keep from breaking he said:

„Yes, it's me, Zuzu! I promise I will never again get angry at you for calling me that. I promise I will protect you. I promise I will make it right this time."

Even Aang couldn't help but feel moved, despite his caution, despite his inner concern that Azula might turn out the very same as she was before. Zuko offered the entire family to elevate their rank and move them to the palace. They refused stating that until the world was convinced beyond doubt that the princess had truly been reborn, their acceptance of his offer would be seen as naked opportunism and bring them enemies. However, they also said that it would be a great honor for one of their children to be adopted by the Fire Lord. In turn, Zuko promised that he would secretly help them for as long as they lived, that they would never lack anything ever again.

Back at the palace Mai was greeted by the sight of her now husband holding a baby in his arms and she knew what it meant. One look at the girl quickly convinced her of the reality both her and Zuko hoped for, Azula was back.

Mai approached her husband and her very very little sister-in-law. The baby seemed to recognize had but shrink back. Mai said:

„Hush, it's ok. Don't be scared. Yes, I was angry with you, very much. But I forgive you, I do."

The tiny version of Azula seemed to either understand the words or at least feel the sentiment behind them. She reached out with her arms towards her old friend and was quickly picked up and held by her.

„Glad to have you back you little monster."

Zuko smiled. Both him and Mai would commit themselves to raising Azula with both the love and discipline she always needed. The only girl child in their lives they would come to love even more would be the one they'd have with each other, Izumi. Fortunately, despite all her rough and sharp edges and tendencies, Azula would also grow to love Izumi too, safe in the knowledge that the heart of their guardians was truly and genuinely big enough for both of them.

Didn't mean Azula's new life would always be smooth and easy.