Once the father-son duo got to the park, Tear spotted a family having a picnic in the fresh, green grass. He turned to his dad, and winked. Isaac winked back.
The Father of the picnicking family placed the lunchmeat on the sandwiches, whereas his wife, the Mother, was buttering and mayonnaise-ing the bread. Their two kids, a young boy and a young girl, who couldn'tve been more that a year older than each other, looked for creepy-crawlies in the long grass. Once the sandwiches were built, Mother called Son and Sis over to the picnic blanket, and they all sat on the blanket.
Father took a deep breath of the park air, some of the cleanest in the city. That's not saying much, since it's New York, but still. "Aaahhhh, what a nice day for a picnic."
"Yep! Nothing could go wrong on this beautiful. Now kids, eat ya fruit salad." Mother handed sandwiches to the two kids and two plates with fruit salad on them.
"Ok Mommy!" Both children obeyed and politely took a few bites of the salad.
"Before we eat our sandwiches, I just wanted to thank your gorgeous mother for suggesting this wonderful idea!" Father leaned into Mother and planted a kiss on her cheek.
"Awwww, stawpit!" Mother playfully bapped Father on the arm.
The family chuckled and were all about to take a bite out of their sandwiches when our sleazy protagonist shouted at them.
"Wait! Put those sandwiches down!" The golden cat ran towards their picnic blanket and stopped.
Mother and Father were very confused, as were Son and Sis. The two children had their mouths open over the sandwiches comically.
"Erm... Why?" Father asked the vest-clad kitten as he eyed it warily.
"F.S.I, official business. I'm sorry sir, but I'll need those sandwiches." The kitten briefly flashed Father a piece of paper. In case you were wondering, it was literally just a tanning salon ad.
"F.S.I? Oh dear, what's that?" Mother questioned.
"Federal Sandwich Investigators. I investigate sandwiches and make sure that they're up to code. May I see that sandwich, ma'am?" The kitten put out a paw.
"Oh! Um, sure." Mother handed her sandwich to the 'investigator'. He sniffed it, grabbed a ruler, measured it, weighed it in the palm of his paw, and then finally opened up the sandwich. He gasped, appalled.
"What's wrong, Mr. Sandwich Inspector?" Sis asked as she put her sandwich down on her plate.
"What's wrong is that your mother's tryna kill you!" Our protagonist snatched up the sandwiches. "I'm afraid I'll have to confiscate these." He turned his heel to walk away.
"Wait a minute!" Father yelled, catching the cat's attention. "One, you look too young to be a sandwich inspector, shouldn't you be in school? And two, you can't take our sandwiches and ruin our picnic for no good reason! Explain yourself!"
Tear placed a paw over his heart in faux offense. "Sir, being a sandwich inspector is a full time job! And sandwich inspectors are taught everything they need to know at the academy!" The family seemed to buy it. "And secondly, don't you know that the fats and oils of mayonnaise and butter create a deadly carcinogen when combined?" The family gasped. "I rest my case. Enjoy your fruit salad, and learn how to make a sandwich properly."
Tear sauntered away with the sandwiches as the family ate their fruit salad with chagrin. He met his father at the other end of the park.
"Well? How'd it go?" Isaac smiled as he looked at the sandwiches in Tear's paws.
"Terrifically! They fell for the whole spiel! Ha!"
"Any trouble?"
"The dad questioned why I took the sandwiches, so I just bullshat that mayonnaise and butter create a carcinogen. I don't even know what a carcinogen is, I just heard it was a bad thing!" Tear laughed as he helped his dad off the bench.
"See? Wasn't that a more fun and successful way of getting food?" Isaac led his son back to the junkyard.
"Yeah! The looks on their faces were priceless!" Tear calmed down from his laughter, and sighed gleefully. "Maggy, Bibzie, and Houston're gonna be so happy t' finally have some good quality food."
"And they're gonna be so happy t' know that they won't have t' steal anymore."
Tear's smile faded. "I wish we didn't hafta scam, or steal, or beg, or anythin'."
Isaac's smile faded too. "Me too, but unfortunately we don't have a choice. I'm disabled, and you're too young."
"And on top-a that, Muldoon's probably given me the worst juvenile record in the city! So even if I were old enough t' get a job, no one would hire me!"
Isaac patted Tear on the back, and they walked home to the junkyard.
Magnolia slid the sheet of metal aside to let the two tomcats in. She saw the sandwiches in Tear's paws and gasped happily. "Sandwiches?"
"Yep! Ham and salami!" Isaac scratched his daughter's head.
Bibzie and Houston cheered when they saw the sandwiches as well. The family of cats sat down to have a decent meal, the kittens sitting on the floor and Isaac sitting in his chair. Tear had split one of the sandwiches into halves so that the two younger kittens could have a portion fit to their size. They had a nice talk while eating the sandwiches.
Tear's hunger pangs had stopped, and he could tell that his siblings were happy for the first time in a while. He smiled, and asked them if they wanted to play in the junkyard. They all nodded vigorously, and Tear turned to his dad. Isaac nodded, and gave him a few words of warning. "Be careful, and remember. Look out for Muldoon and don't go near any of the workers."
Tear rolled his eyes playfully. "Ya say that every time, dad, we got it!" Tear pushed his siblings out the door before Isaac could say any more.
Shortly after the kittens were out of the shack, Isaac sighed, and picked up a tattered newspaper. "I say that every time because ya need t' know it..." He said to himself as he resumed his crossword.