Rayna

She would be at the rehab center in less than an hour. It was a beautiful December day. Not a cloud in the sky. It was chilly in Nashville and even more so in the mountains of eastern Kentucky. The drive had been easy but she was ready to get there. She knew Tandy would be pissed about her going alone. Every time she'd gone to see Deacon, Tandy had insisted on driving her. But now she was picking Deacon up after 90 days of rehab and she did not want to have her sister there. She had made reservations for them to stay at the cute little mountain cottage she and Tandy had stayed in on all her prior visits. They would stay one night and then head back to Nashville.

Her whole body seemed to be tingling the closer she got. Deacon was doing well but had been anxious to be done so he could come home. She was ready for him to be home too. She had waited, because he had asked her to, to start shopping for baby furniture and other things they would need after the baby was born. They were going to do an ultrasound after he was home to see if they could find out the sex of the baby. She was looking forward to all of those things. She could no longer hide that she was pregnant and, as she and Deacon had agreed, she did name him as the baby's father, just to hopefully stop the gossip and chatter that would likely have happened had she not.

Deacon had given her several pages of lyrics the last time she'd visited that she had taken home to Nashville to work on. She'd had to laugh at his worry that they weren't all that good and needed her touch. She had found very little to change – Deacon had always been a more intuitive songwriter than she was – but she made small changes. Once he was home and had access to his guitars they would work on the music, which often lent itself to changes in the lyrics of their songs. Actually, they were going to start that night. He had told her the guitar he wanted her to bring and it was in the trunk, along with her overnight bag and a few things for him.

She turned off the main highway onto the road that led to the rehab center. All the leaves were long gone from the trees, so it just highlighted the mountains, with their gentle swells. The grass along the way was wheat colored and together with the leafless trees, it could have been a bleak, forlorn landscape, but with the mountains and the blue skies, it was beautiful.

She pulled into the parking lot of the facility and her heart started beating faster. She parked and got out of the car. She caught her breath at how much colder it felt here than in Nashville. The breeze was brisk, which made it feel even colder. She opened the back seat door and retrieved her coat, slipping it on, then rubbing her hands up and down her arms. She felt tears in her eyes, probably both from the wind and her excitement at Deacon's release from rehab. She had told him she would be there, but she was a little late, so she hoped he didn't think she had changed her mind.

She locked the car and walked quickly to the main lobby of the center. She walked to the front desk. The receptionist was on the phone so she stood a few steps back. She looked around the now familiar lobby. She knew the residential dorms were to the right and across a short path and the activity center, work out rooms, and visitor areas were straight across. Down the halls to the left were therapists' offices, group therapy rooms, and other things associated with the residents' recovery. There was a calming feeling within the building, a place where people came to learn how to overcome their addiction and how to manage it when they left.

This was always the point at which Deacon felt most confident. He would look strong and healthy. He felt good and was diligent as he continued his recovery. She wasn't as worried about the immediate future as she was when she got closer to delivering the baby and then afterwards. That's when the pressure and stress and anxiety could ratchet up and those were the things that could cause him to more often fail. It made her nervous.

"Ma'am, can I help you?" came the voice from behind her.

She turned and smiled at the woman behind the desk. It was immediately obvious the woman recognized her, as most people at the center did. She walked up closer to the desk. "Hi, I'm Rayna Jaymes, here to pick up Deacon Claybourne."

"Of course." She listened as the woman called someone to tell them to send Deacon to the lobby. Then the woman hung up and looked at her. "He'll be right out."

"Thanks." She started to walk away.

"Congratulations on your baby," she said. "Hope you'll be putting out a new album soon."

She smiled. "There should be one next year." Then she walked over to one of the couches in the lobby area and sat to wait. She kept her eyes on the hallway where Deacon would be coming from. When she finally heard footsteps, she stood up. Then there he was, hurrying towards her. He dropped his bags and then grabbed her up in his arms, burying his face in her shoulder, as she held him close.

Deacon

"Baby, I'm so glad you're here," he mumbled into her sweater. Then he stood back slightly, looking at her. She was smiling and she looked so pretty. He put his hands on her face and then threaded his fingers through her hair, kissing her hard. When he looked in her eyes again, he saw tears, but she looked happy. He kissed her again and she kissed him back. He drew back again and put one hand on her stomach, looking down, then back at her. "You okay? Baby okay?"

She nodded, tears rolling down her cheeks. "I'm fine. The baby's fine. Everything's fine." She put her hands on his face, drawing him to her and kissed him. "I'm so happy to see you, babe. You look so good." She smiled again. "Let's get you checked out so we can go." They walked over to the front desk and they both signed the paperwork ending his stay in rehab. He felt so free.

He took her hand as they walked to the entrance and she smiled up at him. When they walked out onto the concrete walk area, he heard the doors close behind them. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. He really was free.

"I'm so proud of you, Deacon," he heard Rayna say. He opened his eyes and looked at her. "I am. So proud."

"I did it for you, Rayna. For our baby." He saw a tiny frown on her face. That's not the right thing to say. "And for me. I wanna be in control of this. I wanna be strong for you. Take care of you. And our baby. I do."

The frown eased and she smiled. She took his free hand. "I got us a place to stay tonight. We can go back to Nashville tomorrow."

He smiled. "I'm ready then."

As they drove away from the rehab center, he felt the tension easing from his body. It had been hard being away for so long. Not seeing Rayna as often. Not being there for her when she needed him. He'd thought a lot about the reality of their situation. He was newly out of rehab and some of the biggest changes in his life were getting ready to happen. He would be a father. A husband too. Although having a family with Rayna had always been something he wanted, now that he was faced with the reality, he was scared. His own family life had been difficult. His father was a mean drunk. His mother bore the brunt of most of his anger. He and his sister had lived in fear most of their lives. He didn't have a good role model for being a father and he worried he wouldn't live up to Rayna's expectations in that regard. He wanted to though. He needed to.

He could see that beyond the curtains over the windows, it was turning to dusk. These were the days that turned darkest the earliest. They were deep into December. It would soon be Christmas and then the new year. Then in the spring when the flowers were blooming and the trees were filled with green leaves and the chill in the air would be gone, he and Rayna would be bringing home a baby. A son or a daughter. He knew Rayna would be a good mama. She was made that way and he'd been able to see it every time she had come to visit. He wanted more than anything to be able to be a good father. He had talked about it a lot in both his individual and group sessions during rehab. His therapist had told him he needed to not put so much pressure on himself to be perfect. His group offered encouragement and the wisdom of their own stories. And then there was Rayna. She had so much faith in him. He didn't want to let her down. Or their child.

He was propped up on his elbow and he looked down at Rayna, sleeping beside him. She was on her side, facing away from him, her skin touching his. He wanted to brush his fingers over the nape of her neck, but he didn't want to wake her up. He thought about the moment when he'd seen her naked for the first time. He hadn't been sure what to expect. It was different than seeing her with clothes on. When they had arrived at the cottage she'd gotten them for the night, they had kissed on the couch, their hands touching each other everywhere. It hadn't taken long for both of them to become very aroused and that was when Rayna seemed as nervous as a cat.

He took off his shirt and unbuckled his belt. Then he turned and noticed Rayna was still standing, fully dressed. He stopped and smiled at her. "You want me to help you?" he asked. He never minded doing that, but usually she was anxious to get undressed, to be skin on skin.

She bit her lip and blushed. He wanted to laugh, because Rayna Jaymes never blushed. At least not since the very first time they'd had sex together. Rayna was confident, in every way. But she stood there almost looking like she was afraid. "Maybe," she said softly.

He walked over to her and kissed her. "Baby, you're beautiful." He realized she was probably nervous for him to see her with her body so different. "You'll always be beautiful to me."

Tears sprang to her eyes and then she laughed a little shakily, as she swiped the tears away. "I'm just so...emotional these days," she said. "It's supposed to be normal, you know, but I feel like a baby."

He smiled. "You know I don't care about none a that. You can be whatever way you need to be with me."

She nodded. "I know." She stepped forward, putting her arms around him. "I've missed you so much." This was different, hugging her now. Her stomach was pressed against him and it was impossible not to think about the baby inside and all that it meant. But it was also amazing. And he was ready to make love to her, something they hadn't done since before he'd left for rehab.

"I've missed you too, baby," he murmured. He pulled back a little, then reached for the bottom hem of her sweater. The material fit snugly around her, showing the gentle curve of her stomach. He pulled it up and then let him pull it over her head and toss it to the floor. Then she blushed again. "What?" he whispered.

"I just don't want you to think I'm, you know, fat." He looked at her then and smiled at her. He kind of wanted to laugh, but he didn't want to be insensitive. It wouldn't have mattered to him.

He put his hands on her stomach, letting his fingers trail over her skin, memorizing these new curves and how different she looked now. Her stomach wasn't all that large, but it was just so different. He groaned, realizing he was incredibly aroused by how she looked. "You're not fat, baby. You're beautiful," he said, his voice gravelly. He let his hands trail over her stomach and then he pushed at the waist of her pants. She moved his hands and took them off and then stepped out of her panties. He reached around to unfasten her bra and sucked in his breath as he removed it, amazed that her breasts, womanly and full from the moment he'd met her, were so much larger. He was mesmerized. "Damn, Ray," he murmured. "You're so fucking sexy."

She smiled a little uncertainly, her hands pressed against her chest. "You don't have to say that," she said.

He shook his head. "You are." He quickly removed the rest of his clothes and then he leaned in to kiss her passionately. When he released her, he could tell she was breathless. He reached between her legs and he let out an involuntary moan when he felt how ready she was. He pulled her into bed and, almost like they'd known exactly what to do, they found their old rhythm together, with some necessary modifications, and he wanted to cry with happiness, knowing she had let him back into her life at this very important time for both of them, and that she had faith in him.

She made a little noise next to him and he looked at her, but she didn't wake up. He couldn't help it, he leaned down and kissed her shoulder gently. Though she was covered with the sheet and blanket, he could still see the outline of her new curves and he closed his eyes briefly, thankful they were together. That she was entrusting him to do this with her. He never wanted to let her down.

Rayna

She felt Deacon kiss her on her shoulder, but she didn't want to open her eyes yet. She wanted to think about how much their lives had changed and would continue to change. When she'd picked him up, she'd been so happy to see him. He looked good. His eyes were bright and clear, his skin had lost the pasty color to it, he was clean, and most of all, he smelled clean. He was the Deacon she'd fallen in love with, back when she was 16 years old. He was the only man she'd ever loved and she had known, very quickly, that he would be the only man she would ever love.

When her father had kicked her out, he was who she went to. He took her in without hesitation and vowed then that he would always be there for her, always take care of her. But it hadn't happened exactly that way. The first time she'd put him in rehab, he was 24 and she was 21. She was just breaking through and making a name for herself. She'd worked up from van tours in dive bars to better clubs and state fairs. Then it was opening on smaller tours and finally getting her first big tour break with George Strait and then on to Vince Gill and Reba McEntire before being in a position to headline herself. Deacon, however, was struggling. He drank a lot, mostly with his friend Vince. He'd gone to rehab the first time right after she got her first CMA nomination. He was in the audience though when she won the Horizon Award for the best new artist and she thought all was right with the world.

Their life together had been hard, that was true. But not all the time. The good times outweighed the bad mostly until the very end. It was after his friend Vince had died when things got scary. He blamed himself, because he'd let Vince drive drunk. No matter how many times she'd told him it wasn't his fault, that Vince could have just not driven, she watched Deacon sink lower and lower, back into the cycle. What had been different then were the blackouts. All the times he couldn't remember what he'd done, where he'd been, who he'd been with. Minutes, hours, even days sometimes. Memories lost in those dark holes, never to be recovered. That was when she'd truly felt like she couldn't help him anymore. She'd sent him back to rehab and walked away. Until the plus sign on the pregnancy test.

She still was scared. She was pretty sure she'd be scared for a long time to come. But she loved him. And they were having a baby. And he'd needed to know that. She couldn't have walked away, even as terrified as she'd been. She'd be able to keep him close though and, since she wasn't planning to tour for a year after the baby came, she was sure he could make it work. She prayed he could make it work.

In spite of all that, it had felt wonderful to be with him again. He'd been nervous about hurting her and the baby, which had made her smile. She had reassured him that it was all okay. Feeling his skin against her back and his lips on her shoulder ignited a flicker of desire deep inside her. She felt his fingers trail down her hip and a soft moan escaped her lips. He didn't say a word, but his hand flattened against her hip and then trailed down over her stomach, lingering for a moment before he went lower and slipped two fingers inside of her. She moaned again, louder this time, and turned her head to look back over her shoulder at him.

His eyes locked on hers and drew her in. She could feel his erection hard against her ass. The movement of his fingers inside her was tantalizing, but she suddenly needed more. She turned first onto her back and then onto her side. She leaned in to kiss him. He tried to lock on to her lips, but she pulled away, sliding up and onto his body, straddling him. He had a soft smile on his face. She took him in her hand and guided him inside her, as his eyes grew dark with desire. She balanced herself with her hands on his shoulders and he put his hands on her hips. She started to move her hips and he moved with her. He grew a little more forceful and she matched him move for move. He moved his hands to cup her breasts, caressing them and rubbing his thumbs over her nipples. She could already feel her orgasm building as she moved faster. He was breathing hard and his eyelids drooped just a bit as he continued to focus on her.

With every breath he whispered her name. His hands grew more insistent. Then she felt herself go over the edge, like a hard waterfall. She cried out with every spasm and it seemed to go on forever. She felt him tighten up and then spill himself inside her, crying out her name. When she looked down at him, he looked as though he was blown away. She moved herself and rolled onto her back next to him. He let out a half laugh and then turned his head to look at her. He smiled and she rolled onto her side and put her hand on his chest. They didn't have to say anything, just relax into that hazy state of bliss. She looked at him and smiled. He put his arm around her pulled her in for a kiss.

"I've missed this," he said, still breathing hard.

"Me too," she said.

His forehead creased into a frown. "And you're sure this is okay?"

She laughed. "Yes, very okay. I even cleared it with my doctor. Or confirmed that it was okay, more accurately."

"Good." He kissed her again. "We still got that appointment next week?"

She nodded. "Wednesday."

He stared at her intently, looking like he was rolling something over in his mind. "I want us to get married, Rayna. When we get back to Nashville. We need to be married." He was frowning.

She looked away from him. It was too much, she thought. Too many things all at once and she couldn't risk him not being able to handle all of it. She raised up on her elbow, clutching the sheet over her chest. "We don't have to, Deacon. We have time," she said.

"I don't want us to have this baby when we're not married, Ray. That ain't right." She could tell he was getting a little agitated.

"Deacon, you're just out of rehab. Not even a whole day. We've got things to do to get ready for the baby. We don't have to do everything at once."

The frown left his face and she could see a little dampness around his eyes. "I wanna marry you, baby. So we can be a real family."

She smiled at him. "We are a real family, sweetie. We've always been. We don't have to be married for that."

"But I want to be. You know that. I want it more than anything."

She reached over and smoothed his hair back off his forehead. "I know. I do too. And we will. But it doesn't have to happen right away." She leaned over and kissed him. "We'll do it, just in the right timing. I just want us to be solid. I want you to have time to adjust to being back in Nashville and for us to spend some time getting ready for this baby. We have time, Deacon. We do."

Deacon

He was nervous. He and Rayna were sitting at her doctor's office in the waiting room. There were other pregnant women in the room and he surreptitiously glanced at them. First of all, he could tell that most of them recognized Rayna and that meant they knew who he was. Rayna Jaymes's baby daddy. That's what the tabloids called him. It pissed him off, as though he hadn't been Rayna's guy for the past 11 years. It made him feel unsettled. He and Rayna had talked about it, but in true Rayna fashion she pooh-poohed it and told him not to dwell on it. If they were married, though, it wouldn't be a thing, Which made him more determined to fix that particular detail. Sooner rather than later. She might not be bothered by the idea of possibly waiting until the very end of her pregnancy to get married, but he didn't want that. He would go along with her plan to get the baby's room all set up first, but then that was it for him. It was his line in the sand.

The other thing was that as he tried to look at these other women in the waiting room – without being obvious – he knew one day soon Rayna would look the same. Ever since that night after she'd picked him up from rehab and he'd seen her naked, he kept wondering what she would look like going forward. To anyone's eye, she was clearly pregnant. But they could still lay face to face and he could still hold her close. When he'd asked her about what she would look like, she'd taken her hand and from under her breasts and had made a rounded shape, kind of like a basketball or a watermelon. She had smiled and asked him if he would think she was fat and he'd firmly shaken his head. She would be beautiful, that he knew for sure. But the other ladies sitting around them had various sized bellies, all larger than Rayna's. How is all that gonna work?

Just then she took his hand. He turned towards her and she smiled. "Are you nervous?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Nah." Then he grinned a little sheepishly. "Well, maybe a little."

"Don't be. Today you'll get to see the baby when she does the ultrasound. And see and hear the heartbeat. It's really kind of amazing." He really looked at her as she talked and he could see a glow about her. She looked happy. Whenever she talked about the baby she always got a really soft look to her face and a dreaminess to her eyes. One thing he knew for sure was that this baby was very lucky she would be its mama. He only hoped he didn't screw up as a father, because he wasn't at all sure that he would be able to do as good a job as she would. She squeezed his hand. "And if we can tell if it's a boy or a girl, then I think it'll be even more exciting. It'll be more real."

Just then they were called back for her appointment and he didn't have time to respond to what she'd said.

The appointment didn't take long, which had surprised him, although he wasn't exactly sure why. Rayna didn't even have to undress. At the end of the appointment was the ultrasound. He stood next to her and held her hand as the doctor moved the wand around, pointing out different things and ensuring them both along the way that everything was normal. Rayna would look at him periodically and smile.

"Can we find out the sex?" she asked as the doctor got to the end of the ultrasound.

"Let's see what we can see," Dr. Hamilton said and moved the wand several different places. He didn't want to admit that he wasn't sure what he was looking at, but it seemed like Rayna did, so he would mostly nod. The doctor stopped the wand and pointed at the screen. "We have a very nice view, so you can thank your baby for being cooperative." She looked at them. "It's a girl."

Rayna put her hand to her mouth. "A girl," she whispered. He could hear a little quiver to her voice. She looked at him and he smiled, then kissed her cheek.

"I'll give you two a minute," the doctor said. "Rayna, I'll see you at your next appointment."

When the doctor left, he looked back at Rayna. She still seemed like she was in a daze. "You happy, baby?" he asked.

She turned to look at him and then put her hands on his face, drawing him in for a kiss. Then she smiled. "I am. It wouldn't have mattered either way, but I was really sort of hoping it would be a girl. Are you happy?"

He nodded. She was right, it did seem more real now. He felt a huge knot in his stomach, but he wouldn't tell her how scared he was. He would stay sober for her, for their baby girl, if it killed him. "Happier'n I've ever been," he said.

Rayna

Deacon was quiet on their drive home. She couldn't help but wonder if this was too much for him to take in so soon after rehab. He'd said he was happy, but it was a lot. It was a lot for her too, to think about having a baby and then raising it on the road. She could only imagine how much harder it would be for him, along with having to work on staying sober. It made her wonder if she'd done the right thing. While he'd been in rehab, she hadn't had to think about it a lot, although Tandy had brought it up more than once, questioning his ability to make the changes necessary this time, when he hadn't been able to do it before. It was a fair assessment, she had to admit, and she knew she had already made the decision to be done with him before she'd found out she was pregnant.

She saw her sister when she walked into the restaurant. Tandy got up when she got to their table and the sisters hugged. Tandy smiled. "You're looking great, sweetheart. How are you feeling?"

She sat across from her sister. "Surprisingly good, but my doctor told me the second trimester was when you feel the best. So no more morning sickness and no more exhaustion. I have so much energy." She smiled. "I'm really looking forward to setting up the nursery and everything."

"You haven't started that yet?"

She shook her head. "I want to wait to do that until Deacon's back home."

Tandy sighed. "I know you've already made your decision, but it's not too late to rethink it."

She frowned. "If that's what this lunch is about, I'm going to leave."

Tandy reached for her hand and shook her head. "No, no, it's not. I promise. But seriously, how good are you feeling right now about his ability to handle all this?"

"Good. I feel real good about it. He's excited about the baby."

Tandy had a look of resignation on her face. "You've been down this road before and you know how it's ended. What makes you think this time will be different?"

"Because it matters." She looked down at her lap for a moment, then back at her sister. "I know you're worried. I can't say I'm not either, but I have to trust him that he's going to make this work. I have to believe in him, have faith in him."

"I just wish this hadn't happened." She knew what Tandy meant. She wished there was no pregnancy or that she had decided to do this on her own.

"But it did. And I have to try. Maybe one day I'll decide differently, but for now, I want to give him a chance."

The server came over then to take their orders and they moved on to other topics.

She looked over at Deacon and put her hand on his thigh. He glanced at her and then put his hand on hers. "I'm gonna do this, baby," he said, as if he could read her mind. "I promise."

She just smiled and nodded, but she couldn't help but think about all the promises he'd made to her and then broken. All the I'm sorry's he'd said over the years. But she had to think positively, that he could make it work this time. She prayed that she didn't end up regretting this.

Later that evening, after a dinner of tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches, she was curled up on the couch, a blanket wrapped around her and he sat on the coffee table, singing to her. She felt warm and cozy and had visions of the two of them, with their little girl, singing together. It was something she'd always dreamed of. She felt herself drifting a little bit and then he stopped singing. She opened her eyes. "You don't have to stop," she said.

"I know. I was just thinking though that, well, you know, you should just move here permanent. I mean, you been staying here ever since I got home. You don't need that apartment."

She thought about that. She loved his house. She'd spent lots of nights here before, probably more than she spent at her apartment, and he'd wanted her to move back in with him then. While he was in rehab, she'd bounced back and forth between his house and her apartment. Now that they were having this baby, and he was home, she thought maybe it was time for her to make it permanent. She smiled. "I think I should move in here too," she said. It didn't hurt that it would mean she could keep an eye on how things went with him. There was a lot at stake.

He grinned happily. "That's great. We can go get all your stuff tomorrow."

"We don't have to do it all tomorrow, sweetie. But we can look at everything and see if there's anything you want to bring over." She bit her lip. "And I thought we were going to start looking at baby furniture."

He sat beside her on the couch, putting her legs over his lap. "Anything you want, baby. I'm ready." He looked so happy. She hoped nothing ever happened to change that.

She was still awake long after they'd gone to bed. Deacon was asleep next to her, but her mind was still churning. This was exactly what she'd wanted, ever since she'd met him practically. They would get married and have babies. A houseful of babies, if it were up to her. They would spend weekends when they weren't touring at the lake house. And there would be love and laughter and singing all the time. But Deacon's alcoholism had changed all that. She still wanted that life with him, but she told herself – and him – that it couldn't happen until he got that under control. She thought that would be enough, but it hadn't been. Not after the first time or the second time or even the third. And now he'd been in rehab for the fifth time. His track record said it wouldn't be the last. She was hoping for the best, but was too pragmatic not to be aware that the chances weren't in his favor.

She carefully and quietly slid out of the bed, looking back at him to be sure he was still sleeping. She found a robe and tied it on around her, then walked quietly to the door. She looked back again. He hadn't moved. She opened the door slowly, walked out, and closed it almost all the way. The fire had died out and the floor was cold on her bare feet. She crossed over to the couch and curled up, wrapping the blanket around her again. She laid her head against one of the side pillows, facing the bedroom door. She thought about how she'd been in the same place earlier that evening and he was singing to her. He'd done that a lot over the years – sang her to sleep. It made her smile a little. Those were the magical days. At first there were more of those but as the years went on those times had happened less and less often. There were too many nights when she'd tracked him down at a bar or found him passed out in an alley or a hotel room. Too many nights when he'd be in a jail. Or a hospital. Then there were the black outs, when he didn't remember anything. Wouldn't remember where he was or where he'd been, wouldn't remember things he'd said or done. The scariest part of that was that sometimes she couldn't tell it was happening.

She sighed, feeling tears collecting in her eyes. I'm 27 years old. I'm pregnant and the father is an alcoholic. He's the love of my life and the best man I know, when he's not drinking. I'm betting my life that this time he makes it work. I'm betting our daughter's life that this time he makes it work. And I'm so, so scared. She felt the tears rolling down her cheeks and she struggled not to cry. She closed her eyes and, under the blanket, put her hand over her stomach. Please keep us safe. Please protect us. Please. I'll do anything I need to to make sure this works.

Deacon

When he woke up, he was in bed alone. He pushed up and looked around. He could tell it was daylight, because of the watery, white light coming in through the blinds. But Rayna wasn't there. When he looked over, he saw her indentation on the pillow, but wondered when she'd gotten up. He got out of bed and found his clothes on the floor, pulling them on. He walked out to the great room and saw her sleeping on the couch. He approached, knelt down and put his hand on her arm. She opened her eyes.

"You okay?"

She nodded and then she smiled, pushing up to a sitting position. "I'm sorry. I was having trouble sleeping and came out here so I wouldn't bother you."

He got up and sat on the couch next to her, pulling her into his arms. "Long as you're okay."

"I am. I was just thinking about, well, all the things we need to do to get ready and couldn't stop. I couldn't fall asleep."

"You want some breakfast?"

She looked up at him. "Yeah. That sounds wonderful."

He kissed her on the forehead. "Okay then. I'm gonna go fix something and I'll bring it to you."

She frowned. "No, no, I want to sit with you. I can get up." He watched as she stood up, tightening the robe around her.

He stood up as well and gathered her in his arms, kissing her deeply. Then he gazed into her eyes. "I'm so glad you're here."

She smiled. "Me too." He let her go, then took her hand as they walked into the kitchen. She got up on one of the stools around the island and he opened cabinets, looking for his skillet. "What are you going to make?" she asked.

He put the skillet on the stove. "Eggs and bacon. That sound alright?" He knew, because she'd told him, that there were some things she didn't like as much since she'd been pregnant, but eggs and bacon had been a pretty safe go to. She smiled and nodded. He went to the fridge and got out eggs and bacon and then busied himself turning on the heat and getting the bacon ready.

"What do you want to do today?" she asked. He looked at her and thought she'd never looked more beautiful. Her skin glowed, her eyes sparkled, her hair was all messy around her shoulders.

"I need to go to a meeting, but I can do that later," he said, wondering if she had something she wanted to do. He wouldn't mind taking her back to bed after breakfast.

"No, no, you should do that. When you get home, maybe we can go to the apartment and decide if there's anything there we should bring over. And then maybe look at baby stuff?"

"Yep, we can do that."

After breakfast, she went into the great room as he was cleaning up. When he walked out to join her, she had his writing notebook open. He sat down next to her and put his arms around her. "Find something you like?" he asked.

She nodded and pointed at some scribbled lines he'd written. She looked at him. "Is this about our baby?"

He looked closer. It was just some jumbled thoughts, not sorted into lyrics yet, about sunshine and lightness and the dawn of a new life. "Yeah, kinda. But you know, I'm not good at happy."

"We could work on it together. Come up with something that works?" He nodded. She reached over and picked up a pencil and then sat back. He watched as she jotted down a couple lines. I wanna fly like birds in motion, I wanna dance like leaves in a tree. She looked at him. "Maybe it's the life we want for her. A joyous life filled with all good things. The whole world at her feet."

He smiled. "I think that sounds perfect."

They started working, writing lines, crossing things out, changing words here and there. It didn't take long before he discovered she didn't have anything on under her robe. She unzipped his jeans, he took them off, and then they ended up, as they usually did during songwriting sessions, tangled up on the couch under the blanket. Skin on skin, lips touching lips, hands touching everywhere. Before they knew it, it was almost noon.

He smoothed her hair back off her face. Sometimes he felt like he had to pinch himself to be sure he wasn't dreaming she was here. That she was giving him another chance. He knew it was only as good as his ability to stay sober. Cole had reminded him he needed to stick to the program, go to his meetings, talk about what he was going through.

"You know, don't you, that if you make a misstep, it's over. You know that, right?" Cole asked, his voice stern and his face steely with resolve.

"Yes, I do know that, Cole," he spat back. "I think you done told me that every single day since I been back home."

"And I'll keep telling you, Deacon. Rayna is giving you a chance, maybe a chance she shouldn't, but she believes in you. But it's not just Rayna. It's that baby. And it's gonna be hard sometimes, maybe a lot of times, but you can't fail."

"I know that!" he shouted. "I see it in her face every damn day. I know she's watching me. Just like she done for the last however many years. I know she's afraid I can't do this." He pointed at Cole and felt the tears in his eyes. "I know this is my last shot. And I got a responsibility...to that baby. It scares the hell outta me, Cole. It does. I know I don't got a good track record. I also know I can't screw this up. And I won't." He paused. "I don't think I could live with myself if I saw her disappointment one more time."

He felt her hand on his face and he refocused on her. She looked worried. "Are you okay?" she asked.

He smiled. "Yeah, yeah, I'm great," he said. "I'm here. With you. Writing songs, like we always did."

She still looked a little concerned. "You just had this faraway look in your eyes. And a sadness."

He decided to be honest with her. "I was just thinking how much I want to do this for you and for our daughter. What I could lose if I can't." He felt the tears. "I don't wanna disappoint you, Rayna. Ever again. I'm promising you I'm gonna do this. Even when it's hard. And I know you worry and I don't want you to, but I know I need you. I need you to remind me what we're doing together, I need you to keep me honest."

She pushed his hair off his forehead and leaned in, pressing her lips to his. "I know you can do this, Deacon. I know you want it and I know you know how important it is. I am here to support you. I am. You can always tell me the truth, you know. If things are hard or tough, talk to me. We'll get through it. Together."

He looked at her, reminding himself how lucky he was that she had come to the cabin that day to tell him she was pregnant. He put his hand on the side of her face, threading his fingers through her hair, and he kissed her hard. "I love you. I'm gonna do this thing. I'm gonna make you proud of me."

She smiled. "I already am."

He wanted to stay with her, but he needed to go to a meeting. He'd promised her, Cole and himself that he would do that every day. He'd missed the one he usually liked to go to, so he needed to get going or he might let it slide. He knew he couldn't do that. "I need to go to that meeting," he said. She nodded. He reluctantly crawled out from under the sheet and, picking up his clothes, headed for the bedroom to take a shower.

PS. Are people still reading the stories on this site? It feels like there's a lot less traffic and I wondered about whether I should continue this going forward. I'm happy to if there is interest.