This is a fanfic which follows the Deviant Connor timeline (with the everybody lives ending/the happy ending) from the video game Detroit Become Human. Some things were changed/added to allow the fanfic to make more sense. Feedback is greatly appreciated!

TW: Mentions/references/VERY brief description of self-harm, self-hatred/suicidal thoughts. (This shouldn't be as heavy as the last chapter).

Also, updates may be slower since I'm dealing with my own mental health issues and school exams at the moment but rest assured that I plan to write as much as I can and complete this fanfiction (this is my first fanfic, by the way).

Please do not be afraid to reach out to someone if you're struggling!

November 6th, 2038

AM 9:56

Spring flourished in the Zen Garden, a polar opposite to the real world's chilly autumn, which would soon become a frosty winter. The crickets, birds and deep blue river created an orchestra which further served the peaceful, idyllic interface's theme. Despite being incapable of feeling that many emotions, even the android, who often visited the garden, was never unimpressed by the tranquillity of the scene.

Connor crossed a bridge while snowy white doves fluttered out of the way, although, for once, he scarcely noticed them as he was filled with trepidation about the conversation he would soon have with his handler.

Amanda immediately congratulated Connor on his success at interrogating the deviant and, thankfully, refrained from mentioning its destruction afterwards. When she asked about what he thought of Lieutenant Anderson, Connor explained that he found Hank to be "irritable" and "socially challenged" but believed he was once a good, formidable detective "…He's an intriguing character."

"What do you think is the best approach?"

"I will adapt to his personality. It is in the best interest of the investigation that I avoid conflict and try to accommodate his psychology."

Amanda's opinion of Connor (Down)

She sighed in dissatisfaction at his answer before going on to say "You are the most advanced prototype CyberLife has ever created. If anyone can figure out what's happening, it's you."

The android had no idea how this was supposed to make him feel. On one hand, it seemed like Amanda had good faith in him, however, hearing that he was "the most advanced prototype" only added to the pressure to accomplish his missions. "It's ok though. I have a way to deal with this."

"An unhealthy way, Connor." Amanda injected, as if she'd known exactly what was running through his head. "I know about the burns and the cuts, Connor." Shame settled in his stomach, as Connor's LED flickered back and forth from sky blue to canary yellow. She sensed his discomfort and used it to her manipulative advantage, knowing that he would listen carefully and take heed of her next words.

"Connor, listen. What you do between your missions is not my concern. However, do not let this be the reason for failure when you are on duty or CyberLife will take action and you will be deactivated."

Connor didn't like where this was going. If only he hadn't thought that stupid thought, she might not have brought it up!

"Self-harm is something linked to deviants and though we know that you are just a machine, not a deviant, if someone finds out about this problem of yours, they may get the wrong idea. You mustn't tell anybody, including Lieutenant Anderson. Let him believe that someone else hurt you or stop behaving like this at once."

"Amanda, I don't know why but it's not that easy for me to stop thinking about hurting-"

"That's enough, Connor! Your purpose is to complete your missions and that's what you're going to do. I do not want to hear another word from you." The RK800 understood and nodded despite being hurt by her harsh, angry words. "You're dismissed."

Amanda's opinion of Connor (Sharply down)

November 6th, 2038

AM 10:20

Relationship: Hank, WARM

As he waited for Lieutenant Anderson, the android replayed the conversation over and over in his mind, each repeat of the scene revealing how dismissive and cold Amanda had been towards him. He tried to justify it by remembering that it was his only objective to advance the investigation so maybe it was ok for her to treat this problem like that. Deep down he knew how she reacted was far from ok but, knowing that it wasn't his place to question things, he pushed the thought from his mind and focused on the office around him. Glancing over at the lieutenant's desk, a decorated board caught his eye. While inspecting it he found several notes such as "If you're not a bartender, THEN GO AWAY" and "How is my driving? Call: 1-5555-I DON'T CARE," along with an anti-android poster yelling "NO MORE ANDROID."

"To be honest, I don't really want any more of my android existence either, Hank." Then he quickly deleted that thought, realising how deviant and hopeless it sounded.

Thoughts of hurting himself hadn't been the only thing plaguing the android; For a few weeks now, bleak, despairing thoughts such as this had been slipping into his code, confusing him. Some were just berating but lately those criticising thoughts had morphed into something much more morbid and depressing. He'd thought about bringing it up with Amanda but, surely, she knew what was going on, so Connor told himself that if she hadn't said anything, perhaps she thought he deserved it.

"I don't need a partner, and certainly not this plastic prick!" Fury radiated through Fowler's office as the captain and lieutenant argued. Connor quietly stood behind Hank, hoping that it wouldn't result in violence. Even the android had to admit that he would rather be anywhere else instead of being in the presence of this irate exchange. "Hank, you are seriously starting to piss me off!" Lieutenant Anderson looked like he was about to throw hands but then (to Connor's relief) took a step back while the RK800 continued to watch the scene unfold. "You are a police lieutenant; you are supposed to do what I say and shut your goddamn mouth!"

"You know what my goddamn mouth has to say to you, huh?" Connor would have drawn a sharp breath at Hank's response if he could, before Fowler retaliated by saying that his disciplinary folder appeared to be a "fuckin' novel." Sure enough, when the deviant hunter brought up his files using his mind's information sources, the folder did indeed look lengthy.

The lieutenant made one more last-ditch attempt at convincing Captain Fowler before storming out of his office, slamming the door closed behind him. Connor followed him out and made his way over to the break room where Gavin and a police officer were talking. After mocking the android, Gavin ordered Connor to get him a coffee. The deviant hunter thought for a moment and was just about to accept the request when he saw Hank watching him from his desk. Amanda's words echoed in his mind. "You mustn't tell anybody, including Lieutenant Anderson. Let him believe that someone else hurt you." Knowing that it would provoke a negative reaction, he refused the order. Gavin scoffed, looked at the other officer and for a split second, Connor thought Detective Reed would leave him alone when suddenly he felt a fist punch his stomach and his new pain receptors picked up a throbbing ache as he dropped to the ground. "When a human gives you an order, you obey. Got it? Stay outta my way… Next time, you won't get off so easy." After whacking him on the head, both of the humans left, leaving the android to collect himself and stand up. Connor glanced at the lieutenant's desk and sure enough, Hank's blue, narrowed eyes indicated that he'd seen the whole incident.

"I like dogs," Connor said to a very exasperated and confused Hank. He asked what his dog's name was and the lieutenant responded with "Sumo," seeming to cheer up slightly as he said it.

Hank's opinion of Connor (Up)

After a few more attempts at making small talk, the android requested deviant files and quickly summarised to Hank that they dated back to February; nine months ago. The lieutenant already looked weighed down just by hearing that statement. Connor tried to interest him with a few more points, growing more frustrated by the second when he wouldn't respond. Trying to stay level-headed, he approached is partner's desk to convince him to help. In response, Hank said, "Why don't you go fuck yourself?" He restrained himself from asking what the lieutenant meant and instead said that he intended to file a report on Hank's behaviour. As Lieutenant Anderson let out a heavy sigh, Connor knew he'd crossed the line. He seized the RK800 by the collar with surprising strength and slammed him against the wall. Connor felt a sharp pain shoot up his artificial spine as Hank told him what he thought of androids before muttering, "Stop pissing me off or things are gonna get nasty."

At that moment, Officer Miller interrupted with news on an AX400 "Kara" who'd attacked a man the previous evening.

Hank's opinion of Connor (Down)

Before they left to search the Ravendale district for the deviant, Lieutenant Anderson had to file a report, so Connor apologised and went to search for somewhere nearby where he could guarantee solitude, walking to the beat of the repetitive thought, "What if Hank never likes me?" Since the interrogation room was empty, the android headed there, telling himself that what he was about to do wouldn't go against his programming. Amanda herself had authorised it, hadn't she? As long as no one knew, Connor could carry on with his own way of processing things.

Stepping into the room where he'd questioned Ortiz's android, Connor sat down where the deviant had destroyed himself, the sharp blade in his pocket now resting against his hip. While he sat in that chair, it was as if he was viewing things from a different perspective, despite the fact that he was still an obedient machine and not that scarred deviant. Traces of thirium were still splashed across the surface, which reminded the negotiator of the thoughts he'd had last night, during the deviant's suicide. A worrying feeling of envy was laced between those thoughts, Connor realised, as he drew the razor blade from its hiding place and rested it on his wrist. "I can't think like this. I need to be in control. I need him to work with me. I need to be a good machine." he muttered before making the first line.