(Season 10)
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Ooooooooooooooooooo
Booth confused her for a long time. The more she got to know him, the more Brennan realized that Booth was by no means a simple man. One minute he could be compassionate and kind and the next minute he could exude danger and menace. He had many complex layers and most of them were carefully hidden from the world.
Brennan had tried to place him in a niche when she first met him. She found it easier to label everyone she met, so she knew how to deal with them. Booth was a Federal Agent and worked for the FBI. He seemed to fit the stereotype for law enforcement officers and that niche held for a few weeks. As they worked cases and as she saw the more personal side of him, she started to think of Booth as an alpha-male. Strong when he had to be, calm and caring with those that he cared for. A kind and caring father and a friend you could count on.
But there were moments when he admitted to things that made her wonder about him. Early in their partnership they had been involved in looking for a kidnapped child. The boy had been kidnapped to keep his father from testifying against a company that had produced faulty body armor for the Army. While they were searching for the child, Booth had mentioned that he understood how the kidnappers thought because he used to do work like that himself. At first she had thought he meant rescue work, but he had set her straight. He'd been the person that some people needed to be rescued from. She hadn't pursued that piece of information, but it was forever in the back of her mind.
Year after year, Brennan had studied Booth and finally realized that there was a simple truth about him and it had taken a poem by William Blake to unearth that truth about her friend and partner. One Saturday, while flipping through a book of poetry, Brennan came across the poem 'The Tyger'. The way she understood it, the tyger (or tiger in modern spelling) has a dual image. The tiger is beautiful and filled with grace and power. The tiger also represents primal ferocity. The hand that created the lamb in the field also created the tiger in the forest and that creator was proud of his or her creations. When she read Blake's works it was clear that the poet had believed that to achieve truth you have to see the dichotomy of nature, with innocence we also have experience.
Their lives were intertwined in such a way that when Booth and Brennan were separated they both suffered. While Booth had languished in prison, Brennan had suffered while trying to get him back home. Oddly enough, Blake's poem 'The Tyger' had given her a little bit of comfort. She was terrified that someday she would get a call that would end her connection to Booth. She lived in fear that he would be murdered in prison and yet in the back of her mind, she knew that the inmates and guards at the prison had no idea who they were dealing with. Booth was a tiger in their midst, a formidable beast of great strength and ferocity and they didn't seem to understand that. Brennan knew that the dangerous side of Booth, the menacing Booth would fight to the end and he would not go down alone. This made her desperate enough to blackmail a federal prosecutor to get her husband freed from prison. When Booth was free at last, Brennan rejoiced to see him alive and once again with her, their partnership once more centered and whole.
Once out of prison, it had taken Booth a while to learn to relax and to let his guard down. He wanted to be the man he had been before he was attacked in his own home, but he found it hard to let go of the injustice and Brennan knew that. Booth was confused and troubled about the things that had been done to him. He found it hard to trust anyone. The tiger was still in charge and those around him seemed to sense that. Booth exuded strength and menace, but after a while, Brennan started to see the other side of her man too. He was trying to beat the beast back and Brennan loved him for trying. She also knew that he needed help.
With that in mind, Brennan searched for a gift to give to Booth that would show him what she thought of him. He was her partner, her friend and her lover. They were married and they had a child together. She loved him so much. She tried to tell him that every day and yet she rarely spoke of why she loved him. She didn't feel that she was capable of explaining her emotional ties to her husband and yet he needed to hear it. He needed to understand that she was by his side for a reason.
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In his office, Booth was facing a mound of paper work resting on top of his desk and for some unknown reason he was reluctant to begin. As he stared at the folders, he realized that the ordinariness of the work waiting for him was something that he had actually craved while he'd been away from the FBI. When he touched the folders, when he began the work he had so desperately wanted he knew that his life would begin again and he hesitated to let that happen. He was still wary of those around him. He had been betrayed and yet those betrayers had been exposed and they were no longer free men. Picking up his pen, he knew that once he began to do the ordinary part of his job that would mean that the world was once more spinning in the right direction and that was something he thought would never happen again.
While he procrastinated, he picked up the bag he had brought in with him that day, intending to remove the latest framed picture of Brennan and Christine so he could place it on his desk. Rummaging through the bag, he found a figurine and pulled it from the bag. Surprised, he found that he was holding a small statue of a pacing tiger. The artist who had crafted the mold to make this statue had obviously studied tigers and their physiology. The muscles under the fur were solid and rippled while he paced and yet the large cat was beautiful and in a way, graceful. Booth had always thought of Brennan as being a tigress. Beautiful but not someone to fuck with and now here was a statue of a tiger in his bag.
The paper work temporarily forgotten, Booth called his wife. "Hey Bones, remember a couple of years ago when we had that case about the illegal animal trade? I said you were like the tiger, beautiful and rare. Remember that? Is that why you gave me the tiger?"
Oh you found it . . . Booth I didn't buy it because you think I'm like a tiger I bought it because I think that you have similar qualities of a tiger.
"Me?" Booth stared the figurine and tried to see what she was talking about. "What similar qualities?" He wasn't sure he wanted to know, but he'd asked and he was waiting for the answer. Please don't tell me I'm capable of great violence. I hated it when she said that to me years ago and I don't want to hear that now. For a while, Booth didn't think she was going to answer since she waited so long to say anything.
I think I'd like to talk about this at home if that's okay. My reasoning is complicated and I don't want to explain it in a short phone conversation.
"Sure, okay." Booth stared at the tiger and shrugged his shoulders. "We'll talk about it tonight."
Thank you, Booth. In the meantime, would you like to meet me for lunch at the diner?
"Sure thing." Finally ready to tackle his work, Booth placed the tiger on his desk near the Bobble head Bobby. "I love you Bones."
I love you too.
Ooooooooooooooooooo
Christine was in bed and both Booth and Brennan were sitting on the couch, a glass of wine in their hand enjoying each other's company. After sipping some of the dark red wine, Booth placed the glass down on the coffee table and turned to face Brennan. "Why do I remind you of a tiger?"
She had wanted this conversation and the tiger was her way of starting it. "I read a poem once by William Blake. It was about a tiger and what makes a tiger a tiger . . . We basically have two views of the tiger. One is that the tiger is beautiful. It's very graceful when it moves and yet it is also filled with power and menace. There is a terrible symmetry in the tiger. In the poem, Blake questions who would have dared to create such terrible symmetry in one creature. Whoever made the tiger was proud of his creation and why not since that creator also created the lamb."
He thought about it for a few minutes and nodded his head. "God created everything, the heavens and the earth. He created all creatures great and small. Of course he was proud of his creations. But you know in nature, there really isn't good or evil. The tiger is a tiger. Yeah, he's beautiful, but he's deadly too . . . are you afraid of me?" This conversation was opening up a subject that he'd been thinking about for a while. The things he had done in the past had been terrible, but he had to do them and sometimes he worried that Brennan might grow to fear him. He knew who he was and he knew he was capable of killing when he had to, but he felt that he was also filled with mercy when it was needed.
The last few months had been filled with fear and anger and he'd been a soldier in a battle between good and evil. He just wasn't sure if Brennan understood what he'd really gone through. In prison he'd felt abandoned by God and yet he knew that he had to fight the battles he was forced into. He was on the side of good, but he had been abandoned and for a while he had fought that battle alone. She didn't understand his faith at all and the fact that he had lost some of that faith had weighed on him greatly. He worried that she thought he had changed and that the darkness inside him worried her. "I would never hurt you or Christine. I'm still me."
Appalled that Booth had managed to twist what she was trying to say into something that was the complete opposite of what she was trying to say, Brennan turned on the couch so she was completely facing her husband. "Of course not, Booth. Never. You would never hurt me or Christine or Parker or anyone else you love. I absolutely know that . . . I'm sorry, I had no intention of making you think that, Booth . . . Let me try to explain again, the tiger symbolizes how I think of you. You're beautiful both inside and outside, but you're also a warrior. You were made that way and I am so proud of you. While you were in prison, they beat you and harassed you and yet you persevered and protected yourself. For every beating you took you gave some of it back. They didn't break you. That is who you are. You are a powerful adversary and those people in prison with you didn't even realize that. They failed to recognize that they had a formidable enemy locked up with them, but I knew. I knew, Booth. I knew you would stay alive long enough for me to find a way to get you out of there. You were the tiger and they were your prey. Booth I love you. I love you for many reasons. You love me and Christine. You're kind and considerate, but you are fierce and protective when you need to be. You believe in justice and you work so hard to get closure for victims of crimes. You are also a warrior and a patriot. You love your country and you love what it stands for. I could never fear you. I love you, Booth I just wanted you to know why I love you. I rarely tell you why."
Her words were heartfelt, her eyes were filled with unshed tears and Booth knew that the greatest thing that ever happened to him was meeting this wonderful women sitting next to him. She was always in his corner no matter what he was up to and he could count on her to keep him moving in the right direction. She was his rock and he was certain he wouldn't be who he was if she hadn't stepped into his life. "Bones, thank you. I know I was really angry when you bribed the prosecutor to get me out of prison, but that was because I was afraid for you. I was afraid your loyalty to me was going to be repaid with you in prison. I was so damn afraid."
"Yes, I think I knew that." Brennan placed her hand on his knee. "But I couldn't leave you there. We're a team. We fight our battles together. That is our strength. When we're together we are quite formidable and hard to beat. We belong together. I love you so much Booth."
His throat tight with emotion, Booth felt only love for his wife. She was the reason he fought to stay alive in prison and she was the reason he never gave up even when the odds were impossible. "I love you too, Temperance." Standing, he grasped her hands and pulled her to her feet. His arms encircling her, Booth rested his cheek against her cheek and sighed. "I love the tiger you gave me. Thank you." He was still a little uncertain what she had been trying to tell him, but he knew that she had been telling him why she loved him and that's all that mattered to him.
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The Tyger by William Blake
Tyger Tyger, burning bright,
In the forests of the night;
What immortal hand or eye,
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?
In what distant deeps or skies,
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand, dare seize the fire?
And what shoulder, & what art,
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand? & what dread feet?
What the hammer? what the chain,
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp,
Dare its deadly terrors clasp!
When the stars threw down their spears
And water'd heaven with their tears:
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the Lamb make thee?
Tyger Tyger burning bright,
In the forests of the night:
What immortal hand or eye,
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?