Clash of the Immortals

Master Porky Minch: ...I... I don't even know... um... what am I doing here again?

Lidio: ...You're kidding me, right?... You're here to make a chapter for a story. Remember? Titanking666? Your older brother?

Master Porky Minch: ...Oh... woopdy freakin' doo...

Lidio: ...Ok, what's your problem, fatso?

Master Porky Minch: Well, I'm expected to make this crap up, but we didn't even have a disclaimer in the story.

Lidio: ...Right, the disclaimer... just put in here right now, you idiot. It's not that difficult.

Master Porky Minch: Ugh... ok, fine...

Disclaimer: You know damn well.

Quick Note: If you don't know me, then I'll warn you here and now that I'll be sneaking in some humor to almost all my chapters. Force of habit, ya know?

BEGIN!

A Subtle Warning

?'s POV

It was just another boring day of sitting around doing nothing, just like the days now usually are...

I don't think I can ever forgive Jackson for wiping Kronos off the face of the earth. Ever since then, everything's been so dang boring. Nothing for a god like me to do except wait for news.

I didn't even want to get out of bed this morning; I pretty much knew how the day was going to go.

#1: Wake up to that freaking alarm clock.

#2: Get off the floor because I don't have a bed.

#3: Make myself breakfast and eat.

#4: Watch the news for a couple hours without end.

#5: Make myself a sandwich or whatever for lunch and eat.

#6: Play games the Angry Video Game Nerd always told you not to.

#7: Find something for supper and eat.

#8: Look at certain art on DeviantArt for a bit.

#9: Go back to my sleeping area and sleep.

#10: Repeat the next day.

Now, that sounds like a blessing, don't it? It's practically every modern American teenager's dream. Well, I'm not those modern American teenagers. This whole thing is driving me insane!

I remember back in the old days when there was actually something to entertain myself outside this hole in the ground I call a home. Monsters without end, servants of the Titans at your doorstep, and a whole crap ton of other things that would harm me.

Back in those days, a god like me wouldn't be able to step out of their home without getting attacked by something, and I loved it! It was back in those days that those danged creatures knew how to cower before me... and now, thanks to that little jerk everyone calls Percy, those days are all over.

Now, here I am, lying awake on the cold dirt floor as the song Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus plays from the alarm clock. I know that song wakes me up because I hate it so much, but why did I pick Miley Cyrus?! I actually once slept past the alarm clock and ended up having this freak nightmare of watching her twerk. It was horrible!

As I forced myself to turn the alarm clock off, I utter these words at it, "Shut up Miley, I'm not in the mood." Then again, when am I, exactly?

I finally get up and stretch my arms. As usual, I look in the mirror and check my long, purple hair for anything that could have crawled in. Sure enough, I end up brushing a bunch of grubs and beetles out of it. Don't get me wrong, I love my hair, but I don't know why I let it grow out so long... or let it stay purple for that matter...

As I walked out of my room, sure enough, there were my 3 friends, who are living with me since they really can't do anything by themselves.

The first one was the usual cyclops, tall and muscular with orange-brown messy hair, and that one huge eye. We always call him Jaws because of his teeth that could gnaw through stone in a heartbeat.

The second one was a minotaur, slightly taller than an average basketball player. He was literally how they describe it, human body and bull's head. We call him Horny, of course, because of his horns.

The third one, who we call Shades, is actually a living gorgon, and actually really doesn't look bad at all. Just like the other 3 though, she turns people to stone if they look at her in the eyes. That's why she wears the shades, so she doesn't turn too many people to stone.

All of them were sitting there, watching the Today Show on NBC 24. They didn't have any food on the table, but they were drinking coffee. So, guess who has to cook breakfast, as usual?

"When are you 3 going to move out?" I asked as I went over to our Mr. Coffee to get a mug myself.

"Oh, come on. Don't act like you don't enjoy seeing us." Jaws said.

This just made me sigh and shake my head as I headed over to the stove. I got some eggs, sausage, ham, chicken, beef, cheddar cheese, pepper jack cheese and a whole 10-gallon jug of Frank's Red Hot. "So, I guess I'm cooking again, as usual." I said in a rather annoyed tone.

Shades just chuckled and said in a mocking tone, "My most sincere apologies, my lord of pain in the necks." This made the others chuckle.

I just shook my head and began getting to work, breaking the eggs on a pan and started scrambling them while pouring in some Red Hot. I was going to make my most notable breakfast, my 'Tongue Blaster Omelets'.

I can only guess that Horny could smell the Red Hot. "The last time you made that omelet, it practically killed my sense of taste for a week. Go easy on the hot sauce, would you?" he complained.

"Yo, I'm cooking, you'll eat what I freaking give you." I retorted. To this, Horny just groaned as I went back to making my delicacy of a meal.

After a little bit, I finally made the omelets. They turned out as usual, the eggs being red instead of yellow because of the hot sauce. I put the 4 on plates and served them all.

"In other news, can earthquakes move? Evidently, just yesterday night, China had suffered a 7.4 earthquake which took the country by surprise. Just the day before that, Japan had also suffered a 7.4 earthquake itself, causing some people to wonder, 'Is this a coincidence?'

Normally I wouldn't care too much about what the news says, but this topic somewhat got my interest. And the other 3 seemed to have been thinking the same thing. We all just stared at the TV. 2 countries having an earthquake with the exact same power in a matter of a day, and these 2 countries just happen to be near each other? Maybe they made an error in their calculations, but I usually don't take chances like that.

"Hm... pretty peculiar, don't you guys think?" I questioned as I rubbed my chin in thought.

"Sounds pretty strangely convenient if you ask me." Shades said as she took her fork and took a bite of the Tongue Blaster Omelets.

"Scientists are baffled, for this is the first recorded time that countries near each other have the same powered earthquakes in a matter of time like this." said the news reporter. "Studies are being performed now to see if this is just possible and very rare."

I wanted to hear more, but I looked at Shades, and saw that her face was red as a beat and she held her mouth, with the cheeks puffed out. That's when I remembered that she took a bite of the food. I turned off the TV and was going to tell her to get to the bathroom, but it was too late.

Sure enough, she turned her head to face behind her, and she began to breathe fire out of her mouth. Horny and Jaws were panicking, while I just sat there with my eyes wide open as I watched the flames.

Sure enough, in a few minutes' time, everything made of wood in the kitchen, whether it was cabinets, drawers, or whatever, was set on fire. All of us just sat there, staring as the wooden appliances began to burn.

"...Maybe I was a little overzealous with the sauce..."

XXX

Chiron's POV

What exactly could I say about young Percales?

He was a very bright and intelligent kid, and probably the best fighter I've ever seen. Yet, just as his father and mother, he seems to have quite a little problem when it comes to knowing his authorities. He's challenged me, Mr. D, and even his mother and father on several occasions. Sure, it runs in the family, but I feel that it's going to get him in trouble one day... and perhaps this is the day.

My mind hasn't really been with the whole camp these past few days. I had been plagued by strange dreams, inexplicable nightmares, and a dangerous feeling.

It all started 2 days ago, when they had that earthquake in Japan. That night, I had a very peculiar dream. The globe of earth was spinning around, as if completely haywire. Then, from a mysterious shape that glowed a horribly ugly purple color, up came a black mist, like smoke from a fire. It rushed over to the earth, and in a few seconds, the earth had completely disintegrated.

I awoke from this dream, very confused. I had no idea what it meant, and really didn't think anything of it. However, when I woke up the next morning, I had found out that a pretty powerful earthquake had just taken place in Japan. It hurt the country quite a bit, but they were used to it, so I didn't think too much on it.

Then at night, I had another dream, yet this one was more of a nightmare. I saw the Titan King, Kronos, bound in chains below Camp Half Blood. He roared and he cursed the half-bloods, attempting to free himself from his bonds. It didn't seem so bad, until at the end, Kronos began giving off horrible shrieks of agony. From his chest, a large oak began to grow, popping out of the ground and glowing green with life. It had to have been at least 400 feet tall, and it grew into the center of Camp Half Blood.

I thought that this was a good thing, until suddenly, the tree seemed to have shattered into large pieces, each one crushing the buildings and campers. The cabins, the strawberry fields, the training arena... nothing was spared from the ever-falling chunks of tree. Then, from the center of the ruins and chaos, there was standing a figure, completely pitch-black, as if they were trying to keep their identity hidden.

When I awoke, it was morning, and China had an earthquake, with the exact same power as the one Japan had just the other day. I was beginning to think we were in some kind of situation, but told the campers nothing. It was young Jackson's birthday, so the last thing we need is for his parents to worry.

I was in the Big House, just thinking over these things, when I heard a knock on my door. "Come in." I commanded as I pinched the bridge of my nose.

The door opened and revealed a man with olive skin, messy dark hair, and a little moustache those devils in the old cartoons would have. "You're late as usual, Nico." I said, very stressed. He was much taller than last I met him, but there was no mistaking him.

"Cut me a break, would you old man?" Nico said casually as he sat down with his hands in his pockets. Now that the whole Titan War was over, he had developed quite an attitude. It seemed like all the heroes were doing that these days.

"Ugh... well, as long as you're here... you used to be somewhat good friends with Percy, yes?" I questioned.

"Yeah... well, when he wasn't going out and being a showoff." he said.

"Good... but enough chit-chat. I would like you to help me watch over this camp." Nico gave me a look that told me he didn't know what I was talking about. "...Look, the truth is, I've been feeling very uneasy these past couple of days. The others don't know it, but I'm very concerned for the wellbeing of this camp."

"This isn't about those earthquakes, is it?" Nico said in a somewhat mocking tone. "You afraid of a few earthquakes on the far side of the world, gramps?"

"I'm not afraid of the earthquakes themselves, I'm afraid of something we could be facing. For the past 2 nights, I've had these dreams that make me very concerned over all this. I'm not willing to take any chances; Camp Half Blood must remain safe. For all demigods."

"Alright, alright. I get the picture." Nico said as he rolled his eyes. "Don't worry, I'll help you look over the camp. But just to let you know, I don't think it's really bright of you to make these assumptions because of a few earthquakes and a couple of dreams."

I just nodded, and Nico headed off to wherever, knowing that that was all I needed from him. I just stood there, thinking that perhaps Nico was right. Maybe I am overreacting.

However, I'm going to keep the warning with me. After all, I don't want to assume that nothing will happen and let my guard down, only for something to happen when I turn my back.

After all, in this situation, I can't help but remember a wise man telling me "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong"...

Master Porky Minch: Well... that was my first ever chapter of a Percy Jackson story. And as you all can clearly see, I'm kinda taking this a little seriously, but at the same time, it's all a joke to me... ah well. I think I didn't do too bad.

Now, in the habit of my stories, and like how Titan did in Joys of Memory Loss, comes the question of the chapter.

Q: I remember one time my brother asked me which Olympian would I be if I could be any one of them. Well, though he's definitely not my favorite, I'd have to go with Poseidon. One of the Big 3 gods, 24/7 trolling of sailors, and the most important factor, all the seafood I can eat for an eternity (though with a guy like me, the sea creature populace would probably last only 5 years or so...). So, if you could be an Olympian god, which one would you be?