(After The Doctor in the Photo)
Thank you for reviewing my story. I appreciate it.
I really don't own Bones
Ooooooooooooooooooo
The last several days had been an emotional train wreck and Brennan was still recovering from it. For so long, she had denied that she loved Booth and when he asked her to take a chance on a relationship the previous year she had refused. She had done it for two reasons. Brennan didn't think she had Booth's type of heart and she could never return the affection he was seeking and secondly, she had been afraid that when he discovered that she couldn't love him he would reject her and walk away from her. She knew what it was to be abandoned by people who had professed to love her and it hurt more than she was willing to confess. Her parents had been the first to betray her, then Sully. She knew it would be devastating if Booth left her too and she could not bring herself to risk that.
Because of her fear, she had broken her partner's heart and she knew it and yet he didn't betray her. He remained her partner and friend and he didn't walk away. He had told her he would move on and that had seemed logical to her at the time. If she couldn't provide what he needed emotionally then it seemed logical for him to look elsewhere. As long as they were still friends then that was all that mattered to her.
Logic . . . there is nothing logical about love and when she realized that she did love Booth and she could trust him to be loyal to her, he had found someone else and it had been a bitter pill to swallow. She had accepted that Booth was in a relationship with Hannah and she had missed her chance and yet . . . and yet she now had regrets. She now knew that in trying to avoid any emotional pain from a possible failed relationship with Booth she was now experiencing the pain she had thought she had protected herself from. The irony of the situation was not lost on her.
Ooooooooooooooooo
Angela found Brennan in her office. The last few days had caused Angela a lot of worry. Brennan had behaved out of character during the Lauren Eames case and had almost been frenetic in how she had approached the case. Late nights, lack of sleep, little evidence that her friend had been eating properly and Angela was starting to worry that Brennan was having a nervous breakdown. "Honey, did you go home last night?"
Thoughtfully, Brennan looked up and gave her friend a sad smile. "Yes . . . I came back to work around midnight, finished up my notes on the Eames case and went back home around three."
Relieved that Brennan hadn't stayed all night, Angela looked at her watch and decided that they could use a coffee before they started their day. "Let's go to the Diner for a coffee . . . well, not me. I'm still drinking that non-coffee drink they call decaf. I mean is it really coffee if there is no caffeine? When my baby finally makes an appearance, I'm going to drink so much coffee, Hodgins is going to have to tie me down to keep me from being a whirling dervish."
Since Brennan knew that Angela planned to breast feed her baby, she could only assume that Angela was using hyperbole. "I could use a cup of coffee and perhaps a little something to eat." Standing, she removed her purse from her desk and removed her wallet. Transferring it to her jacket, she removed her lab coat and replaced it with the jacket she knew she'd need. The weather had been clammy and chilly lately which wasn't unusual for late winter, but was unpleasant to experience.
Grateful that her friend wasn't balking at taking a break, Angela followed Brennan out of the Lab and once they were at the Diner, took over their usual table in the back. Once they had ordered coffee and apple fritters, Angela stared at her friend and couldn't help but notice the dark smudges under her eyes. "Honey what's wrong? You've been acting a little un-Brennan like for the last few days."
She knew that she had worried her friends, but she didn't think she could explain, at least not well. "I saw myself in the victim . . . alone, friendless, no one to care whether I lived or died. Unmourned in death . . ."
"Brennan that's not true." Angela was shocked that Brennan would even think that about herself. "You have a lot of friends and we care for you. We love you. Even Booth loves you in his way . . . of course the man is in complete denial, but that's another conversation for another time. Honey you are not friendless."
"Yes, I know." And Brennan did know. Her world had turned upside down for three days and in those three days she had seen a life that had ended tragically because Lauren Eames had rejected all emotional ties with anyone. Not just her helicopter pilot who had loved her, Lauren had rejected all friendships and Brennan had worried that that was what she had been doing. She now knew she wasn't the same as the victim. She had just thought she was. "I followed the clues and I know what happened to Lauren Eames. She died in an accident. She was standing in the middle of a street during a stormy night. Someone hit her with a vehicle and killed her because the driver didn't see her to avoid hitting her and there was no one there to save her from herself . . . Unlike me. Booth found me in time and saved me from being run over last night."
"Oh my God." Angela stared at her friend in horror. "Honey, I . . ."
Brennan placed her hand over Angela's hand. "Booth followed me because I was acting out of character . . . He saved me from being killed . . . I know he cares for me as a friend, but it will never be more. He told me so last night and I accept that."
Sad that her friend was going through so much pain, Angela waited to continue the conversation once the waitress had placed their order in front of them on the table. "You know a few years ago, when Kurt had been murdered, you told me that nothing in the universe happens just once. Infinity goes in both directions, that there is no unique event no singular moment. Remember? I didn't understand at the time and you told me that I'd get another chance at love and you were right Brennan. You were right. I have Hodgins in my life now and I do love him so much. He was my second and fourth chance if you count Roxie. I had three more chances and I found love."
"I'm still not sure I believe in love." Brennan sighed as she stared at her apple fritter. Her appetite was still weak, but she knew that she had to eat to continue. "I do know that I'm not alone. I have friends. I have you and Booth and Hodgins. It's just . . . it's hard to see a future any different than the one I have now. I missed my chance for more and I'm sad, but I know that sad is better than dead. Sad is better than not feeling at all."
Her hand clutching Brennan's hand, Angela nodded her head. "That's right, sad is a feeling, Bren. Sad is definitely better that dead . . . Give it time. You never can tell what the future will bring. Maybe someday, you'll find that someone that is meant to be with you and when that happens . . . when that happens you will see that there are more chances for you and everyone else. It may not be with Booth, but you will eventually find happiness just like I did, just like you said I would."
Her words were soothing and Brennan hoped they were true. "I will keep a look out for that chance, Angela."
"That's all you can do, Bren. It's all anyone can do."
Oooooooooooooooooooooooo
Let me know what you think of my story. Thank you.
