Word Count: 1985
Chapter 2: Denial, and Grief Are Extremely Alike.
My eyes flickered open. I looked around, and all I saw was white. I noticed I was laying in bed.
Am I in the hospital? I thought. I took a better look around. No, I'm in the MedBay. I slowly turned my head to the right, and I saw my wife Pepper, and my daughter Morgan. They were both asleep. I then looked to my left, and saw Steve, Wanda, and Rhodey. Rhodey was sleeping, but he had bags under his eyes. Wanda's eyes were red and puffy from crying. Lastly Steve looked so different I could barely recognize him. He had bags under his eyes that looked like he hadn't slept forever. His eyes were bloodshot, and he had stress marks all over his face, making him actually look his age.
"Tony," Steve exclaimed, standing up, his face looking relieved.
"Steve," I groaned. "Why is everyone-" I started. But then memories started flooding my mind. It felt as though I had been slapped in the face.
Peter. I thought, as the memory's of his death popped into my mind.
"Where's Peter?!" I asked, worriedly. Steve looked down at the ground, and Wanda's eyes started to fill with tears. "Where is Peter?!" I demanded.
"Tony, he's gone," Steve responded, making direct eye contact with me.
"No, no, no, no," I repeated, over and over again, trying to convince myself that what Steve was saying wasn't true. "You're joking," I yelled, totally not believing what he said. Steve shook his head sadly. "This can't be real!" I yelled even louder. I looked over and saw that Pepper, Morgan, and Rhodey were awake now. Pepper got up and held my hand that rested on top of the bed. "No, no, no, no," I repeated. "This can't be happening!" I screamed painfully. "Steve!" I said angrily, turning towards him. "What kind of prank is this!" I yelled. Steve always pulls pranks on me but I never thought that he would take it so far as to tell me that my kid was dead. Oh umm I mean the kid.
"I'm sorry Tony. But this is not a prank," Steve replied, sadly
Usually Steve would tell me it was a prank after I figured it out. I thought.
"Bull crap!" I yelled very loudly. I saw Morgan flinch. "I'm sorry Morgan," I apologized looking her in the eyes.
"It's okay, Daddy," she said. I moved my fingers towards the door, and Wanda caught the signal that I didn't want Morgan in the room.
"Hey sweetie," she said softly. "Do you want to go play with Happy for a bit?" Wanda asked Morgan nicely.
"Sure!" Morgan replied enthusiastically. She then ran happily out the door. I turned to face Pepper, who looked like she was on the verge of tears.
"Tony, we're sorry," Pepper sighed.
Even Pepper's playing along with Steve's joke. I thought angrily. She knows how much I love Peter. Why would she play with my heart like this? This was actually making me angry.
"Stop with this crap!" I shouted, losing my temper. "This isn't funny!" I yelled. Everyone around me looked so sad. It just made me more angry. They knew this wasn't funny, but they kept acting as though it was okay to pull this prank. "You can't joke about my kid being dead!" I screamed. Everyone's eyes widened when I said "my kid". I covered my hands over my mouth. I had never actually called Peter "my kid" in front of anyone before. I heard Pepper silently start sobbing, but she brushed her hair in front of her face so I couldn't see her cry.
"Tony-" Wanda said through sobs.
"We are really sorry," Steve replied sadly. I paused for a moment, thinking about everything that I remembered about Peter from yesterday.
Is he really dead? I thought, worriedly.
"Is he really g-g-gone," I whimpered, as tears started to form in my eyes. They just all sat in silence, looking at the floor. "He-he-he can't be-" I cut myself off. "No, no, no, no," I repeated, and the tears started to fall.
I got up, even after Peppers protested for me to lay back down. I ran out the door, and looked in every single room in my house. Every single room I went into I felt more and more despair. I yelled "Peter!" every time I entered a room, but I never heard the sweet sound of his voice. I would look around and wait for Peter to springe to his feet and yell.
"Pranked you, Mister Stark!" But I never heard him say it. Once I had looked in every room, I sat down on the couch, and broke down. Within seconds everyone found me.
"Tony-" Wanda started.
"Get away from me!" I yelled, trying to hide that I was crying.
"Honey," Pepper started, and I watched through the corner of my eye as she sat down next to me. "We are so so sorry about Peter," she told me sadly. I started crying even harder. I then clenched my fists in balls.
"Why would he do that?!" I yelled angrily. Pepper put her hand on my cheek, and turned my head to face her.
"To be a hero," she smiled. Right there and then a wave of guilt overwhelmed me.
It's my fault he's dead. I thought. If I didn't recruit him, he wouldn't be gone. I thought angrily.
"It's my fault," I said, thinking out loud.
"Honey it's not your fault," Pepper replied.
"It is," I cried.
"Tony-" she started.
"No! It's completely my fault! If I wasn't so stupid I wouldn't have recruited a 15 year old kid! If I didn't recruit Peter, he would still be alive!" I yelled. Everyone went dead silent. Until someone broke the silence, I thought it would have been Pepper but instead it was Steve.
"It's not your fault Tony," he stated. "The kid wanted to be an Avenger," he told me. I looked down at the ground. "He loved being Spider-Man," Steve said.
"That's not true," I said suddenly.
"What?" Steve asked, confusedly.
"You didn't know much about Peter did you?" I asked. Steve looked down at the ground. "He loved being Spider-Man most of the time," I paused and bit my lip because I felt like sobbing. "But there were times that he would cry to me and say he wanted it to stop," my eyes began to pool with tears. I remembered those days as though it was yesterday.
One of those days.
"We're on a highway to heck!" I yelled on the top of my lungs, while using the tools on my desk as drumsticks. God I love AC/DC. I was working on a new AI I was calling K.A.T.E. I was actually making it for Peter's birthday which was coming up. I kept singing along to AC/DC until something interrupted me.
"Boss," F.R.I.D.A.Y echoed through the lab. I jumped.
"God F.R.I.D.A.Y you scared me," I laughed, rubbing the back of my neck.
"Sorry sir," she laughed. "Peter is here now," she said. There was a sad hint in her electronic voice. "He doesn't look right,"
"Okay," I paused. "Thank you F.R.I.D.A.Y," I replied, worriedly. I turned AC/DC down and quickly put K.A.T.E away. I then turned my chair to face the door of my lab. Finally after what seemed like 10 minutes Peter walked in the door.
F.R.I.D.A.Y was right Peter didn't look so good. He was pale, looked extremely tired, and was cringing at the light, and the sound.
"Hey kid," I said. He jumped. "Hey, I'm sorry Pete," I exclaimed worriedly. He flinched again. He was squinting his eyes and in a whisper he said.
"Lights, they are too b-b-bright," he paused. "Music, way too l-l-loud," I quickly ran over to the light switch and dimmed the lights so I could only just see Peter. I then turned the music off completely. Then I finally figured out why he jumped when I talked. He was having a sensory overload. Being Spider-Man wasn't all rainbows, it had its downsides. I sat next to him, and I could tell it was really bad today because he even jumped listening to my breathing. All of a sudden I heard a sob escape him.
"Hey, hey," I whispered, soothingly. I was going to pull him in for a hug but I didn't because I knew that he would feel so much because of the sensory overload, that he would even feel the indents of my finger tips. "What's wrong Spider-Baby?" I asked softly.
"I just want it to stop," he whispered.
What does he mean by that? I thought. But I didn't ask because I didn't want to push the already sobbing 15 year old. But then I soon got an answer.
"I don't want to be Spider-Man, I just want to be a normal kid," he told me through sobs. This broke my heart, I never knew he felt this way. "I want to go to concerts, join the football team, join a band," he sobbed. "But I can't do any of that because I'm Spider-Man!" He whispered a little louder.
"I'm sorry kid, I didn't know you felt like that," I said to him.
"Why do I have to be Spider-Man!" He yelled through sobs. His eyes went wide in horror because of the sudden noise, and he quickly covered his hands over his ears. He then started crying even harder. I couldn't take seeing him like that anymore so I put my arm around him, and then pulled him in for a hug. I saw him grimace in pain, but he decided to hug me back.
"Hey it's going to be okay, kid," I soothed. He cried into my chest for a long time until I decided that he should take an Advil. I sat up slowly, but he whimpered. "I'm just going to grab you an Advil kiddo," I reassured.
"Please don't leave," Peter mumbled. I hesitated but slowly shrunk back onto the couch. After a while I heard him start to whimper again. I tried to get up again but he held onto my arm. "Please don't leave, please," he pleaded softly, tears filling his eyes. I looked away quickly so that he wouldn't guilt trip me and I got up. I heard him start to cry, and it took all of my willpower to not run over and pull him in for a hug.
Taking Advil will help you Pete. I thought. I quickly grabbed a cup of water and filled it up. I then grabbed an Advil from the bathroom. I walked back to the couch and resumed my position. Peter laid his head back on my chest and he curled up against me. I smiled softly. He can be so cute sometimes. Especially for his age. I thought.
"Hey Pete," I whispered. His eyes flew open, and I could tell that I had scared him. "I'm sorry," I apologized. He nodded, signaling that he had forgiven me. "Can you take this please?" I asked. He nodded, and hesitantly took the pill, and swallowed the water. He then put his head on my chest and drifted off to sleep.
Present Day.
"I didn't know that," Steve replied.
"Yeah. But he held on, because he really loved helping people," I paused. "He really was the best," I told them, starting to sob again. Pepper wrapped her arms around me. I looked over and saw that the tears that were pooling in Steve's eyes were now falling down his face. I buried my face in Pepper's chest. I cried for what seemed like forever until I passed out.