Life did not improve a great deal even after leaving the feline people and the jungle behind. Everywhere I turned was some hostile creature, and I spent every waking moment guarding myself against attack. By my reckoning, I had spent two long years on this planet, barely surviving each day. The distress beacon did not come to fruition, as I could not get it to give out more than a bland signal which barely reached beyond the atmosphere, and I knew that there was so much interference, it was unlikely to ever be picked up, but still, I kept it active in the senseless hope that just by chance, my call would reach through.
Instead I focused on my own training as a Jedi, choosing that at the very least, I could practice everything that I had been taught by my master. I could not afford to allow my skills to become dulled through disuse, so I would pick up a stick and wield it as my weapon, practicing the forms of lightsaber movements, meditate in the quiet moments and seek to deepen my connection to the Force and reach out with it beyond the stars. Sometimes I would receive a sense of someone being out there, a vision coming to me of something yet to come. I saw war and death, thousands of faces bearing the same features, and amongst it all, the swell of darkness.
It was troubling, but I allowed these visions to wash over me and keep them contained to be studied at a later time. My senses were now so greatly attuned to my surroundings that I could pre-empt an attack, no matter how stealthy and skilful the hunter. I learned how to anticipate rain, sensing the change in the atmosphere and the humidity in the air and seek cover from the acidic deluge. I discovered ways and means to make my life just that little more bearable, finding beauty in the hostile surroundings, and at twilight counted each star in the heavens whenever the sky was clear. I found balance, within myself and the Force, accepting that I in fact had no control over anything, and that it was the will of the Force that I continued to survive.
Although unconventional, I had ended up touching upon the Dark Side of the Force in my most bitter moments, often using my passion and rage to destroy those that would harm me, crushing my enemies and allowing such feelings to run rampant until I thought to find serenity, and once more returned to my centre and balance myself. It was during one of these meditation sessions that I received the sense that something was coming. At first I reacted instinctively, perceiving it to be a predator, but upon calming down, I recognised that it was nothing of the like. I looked to my beacon, seeing that it was blipping and a light was flashing so I quickly jumped to my wrist comm. in order to boost the signal as much as I could, kneeling down in order to find out where the secondary signal was coming from.
Static came through and for a moment, I thought I was merely deluding myself that there was someone out there, but then as the static cleared, I caught little clippings of words. A voice. There was someone speaking to me, trying to contact me. I did everything I could to clear the signal, but there was too much atmospheric interference as I eagerly and desperately tried to get an image of the person trying to answer me, calling back to them with a cry. I shuddered with anticipation and hope, but before I could even get a clear response, the entire channel cut out and the signal went dead. Devastation tore through me, staring at it before crying out with a sob and tried with all my might to get the signal back, but it was hopeless. It was gone.
I wanted nothing more than to destroy that contraption right there and then, but some sensible part of me knew that if it was ever to work again, I needed it to remain intact. Still, it did nothing to quell my outrage and sorrow at having lost contact with the person who had finally picked up such a weak signal. A bellowing roar flew from me and I thrust out my hands, causing a cluster of rocks to explode with a sonorous crack as I dipped towards the Dark Side, allowing my emotions to overcome me and fuel my power with a scream which ripped through the skies and I destroyed everything around me. Rippling waves flowed from me as my clouded emotions disturbed the Force, causing it to shudder in my wake as I turned away from the signal and looked around me at the meagre belongings I possessed. The food supplies from the ship had long since run out, so I now only had the clothes on my back, the items in the bag I'd collected, a blaster weapon that was now on the last slither of charge, and the now useless distress beacon I had somehow managed to throw together.
Biting down on the inside of my cheek I felt the sting of tears gather as I reached up to hold the only truly invaluable possession I had. My kyber crystal. Many times I had attempted to remake my lightsaber using spare parts and items from the ship, but with no success, so I had turned it into a necklace and carried it with me always, ensuring that no matter what, I never went anywhere without it. Despite everything, it felt like it gave me protection, and as I held it, I could almost remember the feeling of holding my lightsaber in my hand. If I still had my weapon, I would have fared a great deal better in this desolate place, been able to protect myself more efficiently. Yet it was gone, and all I had left was that which was around me.
I sank to my knees, gripping the kyber crystal all the more tightly, begging for a sign of any means that it was not all hopeless, that I was meant to be alive and the Force was not just playing some cruel game with me. I was answered with silence, which only made me despair all the more. Night would soon fall, I could sense the light already beginning to fade, but still I did not move. What was the point of it all? I may as well just stay here and freeze to death. It would be painless after a while, I wouldn't feel anything at all, it would be like falling asleep and I would finally be at peace, with no more fear or suffering to be had.
Convinced that this was the only path left to me, I sat myself down in order to prepare myself for the oncoming night, waiting as the sun began its descent. I took one last look at the view, watched as the blood red sunrays descended upon the scarlet world and a golden hue softened each crevasse and scar upon the broken surface, lighting the distant forests and jungles, turning the icy mountains into a fountain of gleaming towers and I thought to myself then, that perhaps this world wasn't such a bad place to die. It had its beauty as well as its terrors, I could give it that much at least. So with that one final look, I closed my eyes as the sky grew darker, the inky hues of night beginning to descend upon the planet and I felt the cold blanket begin to envelop everything with a lining of glistening frost.
A light suddenly shone, making me flinch slightly against it, making me wonder if the sun had suddenly decided to return, yet without warmth. The rush of air filled my ears as I roused myself from my contemplation, and after taking a moment to shield my eyes, I came to realise that the light was not the sun, but a spotlight, and the sound of rushing air was the force of thrusters from the ship that was honing in on my location. I scarcely dared myself to believe it, staring calmly as the ship came to land not twenty feet away from me before the ramp lowered to reveal another flood of light from inside and someone stepped out, scanning their surroundings before spotting me. I blinked.
"Well, are you coming or not? Weren't you the one sending out the distress signal?" The person demanded, a human with bright green hair and purple eyes, from what I could tell. Was this real or a hallucination? Could it be? Could my prayers have finally been answered? "Listen lady, this planet is about to become a giant ball of ice soon, so if you want off this rock, I suggest you get moving!" The shout spurred me into movement and I leaped onto my feet, grabbing my bag with all of my worldly possessions within before launching myself down the slope and running to the ship. The human was a good deal shorter than me, so I reasoned that perhaps they weren't fully human, but it hardly mattered.
They pulled me on board then called for take off as I stumbled dumbly forwards before then collapsing onto the floor, pressing my back against the wall as a droid came over. "My sensors indicate that you are in great shock and distress." The person who'd pulled me aboard waved off the droid and instead squatted before me, eyeing me curiously.
"So, how did someone like you end up all alone out here? Must have been hard living, hear stories about this planet. No one lands here ever, not unless they got a death wish." Still struck dumb, I could hardly even believe that I was in the presence of another sentient being. It had been so long since I'd last heard someone speak words that I could understand, I didn't even know what to say. Could I even speak? I had not spoken myself in many weeks. "In shock, eh? Never mind. Let's get you some help. We're headed to Tattooine, then to the Core Systems, anywhere in particular you were hoping to go?" Nodding my head, I attempted to speak but my throat was too dry and too swollen with emotion to manage much more than a helpless murmur.
My liberator, whom I came to know as Garn, was short tempered but understanding, giving me some time to recover and even allowed me to help myself to some food and had his droid watch me as I was placed in quarters and told not to leave. It didn't take much for me to figure out that he was a smuggler, but I was so grateful for the rescue that I wouldn't have cared if he were the king of all pirates. I was just glad to be off that planet. Once in the core systems, I was able to make my own way to Coruscant, finally able to thank Garn and his team for their rescue and paid them back by helping them to smuggle their goods into the core system without being caught, getting us past a security check. I knew it was wrong, but I felt I had to repay them in some manner, and besides, they weren't smuggling anything dangerous, just stolen goods and nothing was contraband or spice, so I figured it couldn't hurt.
In any case, once in the core system, it was easy to pay for transport back to Coruscant, and once I was on my way, I finally allowed myself to revel in the sense of liberation and the knowledge that I had survived something that most padawans and even some Jedi might not have been able to survive. I felt victorious, and comfortable in the knowledge that I would never see that planet again as I settled myself in my seat, the public transport making the jump to hyperspace in order to bring me home, where I hoped I could find my master and run into his arms.