Xander lay in his motel room bed with his fingers interlaced under his head, staring at the ceiling. It was the fifth and final night of his original lease at the motel. He turned his head to the left a little to where his dog-eared copy of "On the Road" lay on a bed-side table. Turning his head around to the other side, he let his eyes rest briefly on two stakes and a cross on the table on the other side of the bed. He could almost visualize the two tables as the plates of a weighing scale, with himself as the fulcrum.
'I could make it here,' was the recurring thought in his head. 'These guys have guidance, enthusiasm and some cool tech, and none of them has superpowers. They could use someone like me to bring in some long-term planning to their operation. But is this me? Back home, Buffy, Willow, Giles, Faith, Rowan... each of them sworn to the fight – by destiny or choice. Two Slayers, a Witch, a Watcher and a pure demon. Is there a place for me there? I could just jump in my car and leave all this behind, forget I ever heard about Slayers and Hellmouths.'
Yes, he was at another Hellmouth. An offhand comment by Father O'Shaughnessy had finally made all the pieces in his mind align, helping him to recognize the constantly nagging feeling in his mind that had been there since he first drove into Cleveland. Five of them in the world, as Rowan had described. What were the odds of him ending up at yet another one?
It was already 02:30 a.m. and he was nowhere close to coming to a decision. He had spent the last days almost full-time with Father O'Shaughnessy and his "wannabe-Scooby gang". He had answered their questions regarding everything Sunnydale-y and participated in their nightly patrols. It had taken a few days for Bob to lose his initial antagonism – and they still weren't bosom buddies by any means – but even the belligerent young man had, grudgingly but still, acknowledged Xander's expertise in the field and especially around the planning table.
But his friends, his... family – and by that he didn't mean the two parentals living in the same house with him – were in Sunnydale. He had left the town to "find himself", and now, here in a cheap Cleveland motel, he wondered whether that had already happened or... would it, ever?
Another motel room, in Sunnydale, sprang to his mind. Faith. He had been thinking about that encounter often (and not just as another masturbation fantasy). Ever since knowing what Buffy was and what it entailed, he had had a (not so) secret Slayer fetish. The idea of taming and subduing that wild creature had been swirling in his mind in multiple iterations for more than two years before that fateful encounter in Faith's motel room. Since then, he had been fairly sure a normal human wouldn't be able to hold a Slayer's interest for very long... even if they could somehow keep up with one.
Yes, he had been in love with Buffy and been slightly devastated when it finally became clear that his relationship with the blonde Slayer would never advance beyond platonic. Still, most of his antagonism towards Angel stemmed from the jealousy that the vampire had so easily gotten what he himself never had or would.
With Faith and Rowan it had been easier to accept, but still sometimes in the dark hours of the night he couldn't but feel some lingering pangs of jealousy that also in the dark-haired Slayer's case a supernatural being had just waltzed in and bagged the girl basically from his grasp.
He had never revealed his encounter with Faith to any of his friends, and he was fine with leaving it at that. Rowan probably knew but he had never said anything. Faith herself had been about to apologise to him in the ruined school library but he had called a rain check on it back then. When they next saw each other, he would be willing to listen to the Slayer, really listen. Despite everything, he had always liked Faith, beyond his initial (and ongoing?) crush on the gorgeous brunette.
Now with his "horny young dude" gears rolling he began to realize what an amazingly lucky guy he had been. In Sunnydale he had had Buffy, Willow, Cordy, Faith, Gwen (and even Anya), all of whom firmly belonged in the 95th percentile of the female attractiveness curve, and they generally accepted him in their company without hesitation. And on the male side – just to be non-prejudiced against either gender, of course – there was Rowan's elf-like beauty and Angel's classically gorgeous features. They were the Scooby gang, his real family. And as Willow had said, they had come through fire to be just that.
'Maybe a week more... or two, but then...' He would definitely be keeping in touch with the Cleveland crew but now, finally, he realised where his heart lay. With that final thought, sleep overtook him.
'The line of Slayers will come to an end.'
Her handwriting on the white wall in large red letters. She looks at her hands which are a bloody mess, worn down to the bone to get the truth out.
"No!" Faith screamed as she bolted upright in her bed and rushed out of her room to the bathroom next door. She made it, just.
Still on her knees in front of the toilet, she heard a soft knock at the door. "Faith?" came Miyoko's concerned question through the door.
"Leave me alone," she just managed to gasp as another constriction in her guts brought a second foul gush out of her mouth.
"Faith, I'm coming in," Miyoko announced loudly from the hallway and after a two second wait, opened the bathroom door. Without hesitation she took a clean towel from the rack and, after wetting it, started quietly wiping Faith's tear- and vomit-streaked face clean.
"Are you ok?" Miyoko asked after a minute.
"Does it fucking look like I'm ok?" Faith almost snarled and backed away from Miyoko's touch.
"Faith, I didn't mean..."
"Drop it, Cat-Hands," Faith interrupted her and stood shakily up. "I gotta get outta here."
"Faith, let me..." Miyoko started but the rest of her words were lost in the slamming of the bathroom door behind Faith.
After hastily pulling on her jeans and grabbing her jacket, Faith made her way to their carport where the Kawasaki was parked. Just as she had put the helmet on and was about to kickstart the engine, Pauline rounded a corner and came into her view. She was dressed in a robe and slippers. It was obvious she had come to see her straight out of bed.
"I don't think this is a good idea, Faith," Pauline shook her head disapprovingly.
Not paying attention to the woman, Faith started the engine. She lifted the visor as she kicked the bike into gear. "It's all bullshit!" she yelled. "It's all just fucking bullshit!" With that she sped down the gravel road.
Several hours later Faith was high as a kite and drunk as a skunk. She was dancing on the lawn in Crown Park in front of a group of college guys who whistled and clapped appreciatively, and in all possible ways urged her on. The EDM playing on a boombox was her anchor as she let herself flow with the rhythm. Her hands roamed all over her body as she threw an empty beer can over her shoulder.
Since leaving on her bike, she had been driving aimlessly around Taupo and the surrounding areas for hours until parking the bike next to Crown Park. Then, almost inevitably, her sensitive nose had led her to this group of frat boys. "Hey, what does a gal have to do around here to get a smoke?" she had greeted them, and it all proceeded from there.
She felt one of the guys behind her, pressing his crotch against her ass. She pushed him away firmly and continued her dance. The guy returned and this time sneaked an arm around her and attempted to grab her pussy. She pushed with more force and the guy fell on his ass. He stood up angrily.
"Hey, bitch! You got what you wanted. Now it's time we get our pay-back."
"What the fuck did you just say?" Faith asked furiously and stopped dancing. Her words were slurred and she was swaying a little.
"You heard me," the guy growled. His friends had also stood up. "It's too late to start playing hard-to-get."
"Fuck you, shrimp-dick," Faith growled. "I've given you all enough jerking-off material to make your pathetic little wieners fall off, so you should consider yourselves lucky. Fuck this and fuck you!"
Even as drunk and high as she was, she was able to instinctively assess the situation. She feinted to the left and then sprinted full-speed to the right in the direction where her bike was parked. She swayed from side to side a little, but to her luck her pursuers weren't in their top form either. She was able to put her helmet on but in her haste forgot to secure the strap. It took a few attempts but eventually she managed to start the engine and get it into first gear. Looking over her shoulder, she laughed and flipped the guys who had just reached the parking lot, and then sped away.
Faith kept to the small, quieter streets within the town limits reminding herself to concentrate, concentrate, concentrate at every turn. Only when she reached the Wairakei Drive and then Poihipi Road, she let herself relax. But with relaxation, came carelessness.
She was driving much faster than the speed limit and she almost lost the control of her bike in the Tuhingamata Road junction. She just giggled and "woo-hoo'ed" as the bike fish-tailed all over the road. On the long straight of the Tuhingamata Road, her speed increased to almost 100 mph.
She was euphoric as the scenery flew past her at breakneck speed. When she saw their gate approach, she eased on the gas and then felt a sudden pang in her consciousness. 'Shit, I can't go back like this!' Then, instead of just driving straight past their exit, she hesitated, and in her confusion hit the brakes instead of the clutch, immediately losing control of the bike. It flipped to the right, crossed the other lane and hit the roadside ditch.
Faith went flying.
She hit the ground hard and bounced back in the air, losing her helmet. She tumbled and tumbled, feeling a wrist snap, her shoulder dislocate and skin rip in multiple places. Finally, she hit her head on the mercifully softer-than-asphalt roadside lawn and lay still. 'Sleepy now. Yes, sleep is good...'
'Why does everything hurt?' Faith wondered in a haze as consciousness returned slowly. She tried to open her eyes but could only get the lids about a hair's width apart. Her room, her bed, but why did her face feel like a balloon? 'Some dream!' she tried to chuckle but could only gasp feebly as her mouth failed to co-operate.
"Faith! Oh, my God, Faith!"
Pauline's tear-streaked face was suddenly in her limited view. Through her haze she could feel other presences near her as well and, one-by-one, other faces swam in and out of her view. Miyoko, Trish, Trang, Mr and Mrs Hogan. Everyone.
"Hi, guys," she managed to croak. "For some reason I seem to be somewhat messed-up."
She fell silent as a beautiful but extremely angry Oriental face was suddenly inches away from hers.
"You, you... stupid, selfish... BAKA!" Miyoko screamed.
"Heyyyy, Cat-Hands," Faith tried to grin. "Give us a kiss."
"Urusai!" Miyoko snapped, stopping her. "Do you have any idea how badly you've fucked-up? How much we have worried about you?"
"What, me worry?" Faith giggled. She wasn't actually feeling all that bad, all things considered.
Miyoko took a few calming breaths. "Faith," she hissed in a freezing tone that approached absolute zero. That got Faith's attention... or what little of it remained. "You got drunk and high, you DUI'd and crashed your bike. You're an absolute mess and... and we couldn't take you to a hospital as they would have just called the police after having seen your condition. Believe my words, Sureiyā-san, once you're out of that sick bed, I'm going to put you right back in it."
Miyoko's terrible and precise words managed to cut through the haze in Faith's mind and she froze. It all started coming back to her. It was like the Sunnydale motel room all over again. She had fucked-up royally – once again. Adrenaline and various stress hormones invaded her system, blowing away the remains of her intoxication. She wanted to shrink into nothingness. She wanted the bed to swallow her. She didn't want to... couldn't face the consequences of her reckless actions. She tried to raise herself up from the bed.
"What do you think you're doing, young lady?" a stern, matronly voice interrupted her actions. Lynn wearing an apron with fresh bandages in her hands.
"You're going to throw me out, aren't you?" she mumbled, keeping her eyes low. She had failed, perhaps in the most significant task of her life. She supposed it wouldn't take too much time for the Powers to notice their error in selecting her as their Champion. "I'll just go pack my things and be gone."
A steady hand pushed her back against the mattress. "When you're done feeling sorry for yourself, I have something to say," Pauline told her sternly. To Faith's surprise there was no loathing in her voice. With a resigned sigh she nodded.
"Faith, you made a big mistake and broke your word not to break any rules and regulations." When Faith opened her mouth, she silenced the Slayer with a raised finger. "Before you can even ask, no, I don't hate you and I'm not going to abandon you. You're our responsibility and we all care about you very much. But you almost got yourself killed through nothing but childish recklessness. I'm personally deeply hurt that you didn't confide in us and betrayed the trust we had shown you."
'They aren't going to kick me out!' That thought alone almost made her break down. But what had she done to earn such care from these people? 'Why me?' she started to sob. 'Why do I always fuck-up everything just when things start to look good?'
Feeling herself shatter and crumble under all that shame, she raised a shaky hand. Almost immediately, multiple hands grabbed it gently.
"Help me?" she whispered almost inaudibly.
"Yes," came the unanimous answer from everyone around her.
Feeling the care and... love from those around her, she finally broke down and cried. She cried until there were no more tears left. Little by little she drifted into an exhausted sleep.