The Jedi Council admitted me back into the Order with a full reinstatement of my position, and more than that, they wished to elevate me to the rank of Jedi Master. I was reluctant to accept, refusing the advancement, however they determined that my unwavering faith and foresight showed a true understanding of the ways of the Force, and that having spent more than fifteen years as a Jedi Knight with clear demonstration of skills, adaptability, strength, balance and wisdom, I had earned my right to be called a master. Still, I refused. I did not wish to earn my rank as a master through the trial that had driven Ahsoka from the Jedi Order, and I made my sentiments known. I no longer trusted the Council, and although Master Windu attempted to reconcile, and even apologised for doubting me, I wanted nothing to do with his apologies or regrets. I just wanted to be left alone.
For now I just wanted to return to my peaceful duties, to teach my younglings, to meditate, to maintain balance, to go into the Underworld of Coruscant in order to continue teacher there also, and in addition, seeking out a second chance on behalf of Barriss Offee. Her former master, Master Unduli, had been greatly distressed upon learning of her padawan's actions, and joined me in speaking with Barriss a great deal over her actions and thoughts, debating with her on the difference between right and wrong, and how we are each held responsible by our actions, and that seeking to end a war through violent demonstration was not the way we would win victory. It took time, but we were slowly beginning to reach to her, and as she began to understand the lives she had taken were upon her shoulders, she grieved for them, and regretted.
I would have been happy to continue retraining Barriss to return her to the light, however I was interrupted by a summons to the council chamber, and left her in the care of her former master in order to leave immediately, as the message had come with great importance. I went to them, and upon entering the room I saw most of the seats were empty, only a few of the masters remaining. Master Windu and Master Yoda were present, as were Master Plo Koon, Master Mundi, and at the greatest sense of gratification to see him there, Kit himself. Our eyes met in silent communication, and I could sense his relief to see that I was unharmed and returned to the Order, and after I had satisfied with my brief glimpse of him, I faced the stern and reserved Master Windu, and the gentle, open Master Yoda. "Masters." Bowing to them, I awaited their discussion.
"Theca, arisen a troubling matter has. A mission we have for you, if you accept." Master Yoda began as I listened quietly, hands tucked behind my back.
"Our information has led us to believe that the Separatists are preparing to mount an attack upon one of the more distant planets of the Outer Rim, where they intend to build a new droid and munitions factory of a grand magnitude. We cannot allow this base to be established." Master Windu continued before gliding his hand outwards, activating the hologram projector to draw up a map of the Outer Rim, honing in on one sector, before then magnifying a single, blood red planet. My blood went cold and for a moment, I could not speak. "Should the Separatists make contact with the indigenous tribes and secure their help to build this factory, our forces will be even more vastly outnumbered than before. We intend to make contact first, and destroy any attempt of the Separatists to land their troops there. It is our intention that you should go as a survival advisor, due to the planet's known danger and hostility to all life forms." A sudden sickening feeling contorted in my stomach as flashes appeared in my mind, my echoed screams howling so strongly that they reverberated through the Force as I staggered backwards and had to go to the edge of the room in order to find something to press against for support as several of the masters rose to their feet.
"Theca." Master Plo spoke softly, coming to me quickly before anyone had even managed to rise out of their seats, gripping my shoulders in order to reassure me of his presence as I convulsed and felt a glistening sheen of sweat as the flashbacks struck me until I was able to quell them, pushing them away and focusing on my master. His warmth, his strength, the genuine affection he held for me, it pulled me back, and once I was able to focus on him, I was able to look elsewhere also. Kit was standing, poised to begin moving towards me but holding himself back, though looking at me with a fierce intensity which betrayed his concern, so I gave a minute nod of my head.
"I apologise." I murmured, prompting Master Plo to assure me that it was alright. He insisted that I took a seat, though I politely declined as it would have been seen as rude to take up the seat of a council member when not being on the council myself. "Forgive me, masters. I was overcome, but I am alright now." Taking a deep breath, I once more looked at the image of the planet, grateful that Master Plo Koon had now anchored himself at my side. "It is my honest opinion that we need not worry about the Separatists making a landing there. The environment will soon swallow them up, and the droids as well as the factory will be destroyed in due time, for the rain itself is acidic, and that is only one of the planet's dangers." I informed them all, doing my best to keep my voice steady though as I moved the hologram, my hand shook visibly. "Predators, plants, weather, temperature, habitat, tribespeople, they would not stand for a foreign presence on their land. They would do all in their power to destroy it."
"What makes you believe that the tribespeople will not help the Separatists to navigate the planet's dangers?" Master Mundi questioned me with scrutiny. "And there are ways to protect oneself against acid rain. A shield generator would prove effective, I think. They need only ensure that the shield is operational during a downpour to maintain their work progress, and should the indigenous people be offered great gifts and rewards, such as advancements in technology, who's to say they will not align themselves with the Separatists?"
"They would take the gifts and then turn on the bearers. It is in their nature." I answered simply, knowing them too well to even think that they would accept someone building upon their land. "They are fiercely territorial, nothing would tempt them to allow anyone on the safest part of their territory, the grasslands. I expect this would be where the Separatists would choose to build, as all other regions are too dangerous or difficult to build on."
"What if the Separatists chose to simply kill the population and take the planet for themselves?" Master Windu reasoned, and for a moment, a dark thought rose to the surface, and I thought that this would not be a sad day for me. The brush of darkness was not unnoticed by Master Yoda, who lifted his eyes to study me closely.
"Feel great anger towards these people do you, young Theca."
"They hunted me as their prize prey for two years, Master Yoda. I have no love for them." I openly admitted, causing Master Yoda and Windu to share a glance with one another. "May I ask, masters, do you truly believe it necessary to go?"
"Yes, we do." I was afraid of that. In my heart, I knew that unless I went with them, no team or army would stand a chance on that planet, not without losing a substantial amount of their forces within the first few days before they began to learn what to avoid and what was dangerous. They would need to know how to prepare, how to survive, what to kill and what to leave. That planet would eat everything alive if it could, and leave not a trace behind. I hoped that I would never see that planet again in my entire life, a great sense of animosity and even hatred for that place rising in me, as I knew that if I returned, I would be revisiting dark thoughts and impulses, and would have to let go of my serene self in order to reawaken the natural survivor in me, who was far more ruthless and unyielding than I was. "What say you, Rouyn?" Master Windu questioned, and I winced deeply, my hands still shaking so I hid them behind my back.
"I will go if I am ordered, masters, but I have a condition. If I am to be a survival advisor, then every instruction and warning I give must be heeded. No matter what the circumstances, my orders must take prevalence, otherwise we shall be returning with less than half of the company we set out with." This condition was discussed with a few quiet murmurs and quick glances before Master Yoda spoke his decision.
"Agree with your condition, we do. Master Koon, Master Fisto accompany you to the planet Roth, they will. Seek out the leader of the Rothian tribe, ensure peace and an alliance, if they are willing, you must. Destroy the enemy, should you engage." Giving us our mission, I looked across to Kit who inclined his head and smiled to me, allowing me a momentary sense of comfort before the overwhelming dread took over. So strongly did I feel it, that everyone in the room could sense it as I looked at the planet details. I had so dearly wished to forget all about it, that I had completely obliterated any information concerning it from my mind, including its name. Roth. It felt apt, for there was no planet more wrathful than this.
Bowing to the masters, I knew I had to leave quickly, as I would not have long before we were to leave. I needed to prepare myself mentally and physically for this, which included a more suitable attire to endure the environment there. Striding away, I could barely keep my breath and emotions contained. I trembled all over, nervously jumping at the slightest sound or movement, staggering sometimes as a pounding ache overcame my head as all the information I had supressed over the years attempted to come flooding back. Just as I managed to enter my room, I collapsed underneath it, and found myself curling up into a sobbing mass as I gripped my head and writhed, seeing the faces of my hunters, the predators, the carnivorous plants that attempted to strangle and swallow me. I could smell the foul stench of acid, hear the breaths of the Rothian hunters behind me as I ran from them, and the enduring hunger and pain of endless time swept over me.
So consumed by the memories, I did not realise someone had come to me until several minutes later, whereby their constant comfort and presence, I slowly began to return to my senses. It was Kit. This was the first time we had been alone since I had declared myself responsible for the offences of Barriss Offee, and now that he was here, I was determined not to let him go. He was holding me on the floor, cradling me close so that I was almost completely hidden within his sweeping robes and I huddled against him, gripping into the lapel in order to ensure that he did not disappear from me as he whispered many things into my ear. Promises and reassurances, vows that he would be beside me at all times and that if I truly did not wish to go, he would petition the council and find another means to complete the mission.
These words allowed me to feel healed and I even gave a laugh, telling him not to be ridiculous and that I was their only hope of surviving that planet, and if he was going, then I would be too. He smoothed his palm against my cheek, brushing away the tears from my lashes and face before leaning down in order to kiss me. The high intensity of my emotions encouraged a fervent search for comfort, and upon the first contact of his mouth against mine, a flood of newer, sweeter memories came rushing upon me and I hastened to revisit such moments in order to dispel all others that continued to try and enter my thoughts.
My fingers swiftly pulled aside his robes, exposing his chest and shoulders in order to feel them under my grasp and through the haze of his touches and kisses, I vaguely remembered to lock my room and seal it so that no one would disturb us as Kit swept me up into his partially robed arms in order to carry me to my bed. We shared in every wonder and delight of physical passion, marking one another as our own until any recollection of my previous attack was completely gone from my mind, instead focusing upon Kit and our determination to enjoy these moments we were able to steal together.
I lay in his arms after, his face nestled in the crook of my neck as his thumb brushed repeatedly against my skin. It was different to have someone rest beside me, the warmth of their body radiating across the non-existent gap between us but I found no part of the experience unpleasant. On the contrary, I found it all fulfilling and sensual. I knew that we would not have long together, but this only made me treasure this time all the more. No words were shared between us now, for there were none to be said. It was all conveyed through the lightest touch, the briefest glance, and as I turned over in order to rouse Kit before he could sleep too deeply, I pressed a kiss to his mouth in order to draw him from his dreams and back to reality, where the severity of the situation soon returned to us.
We had no choice but to begin our preparations for leaving, Kit dressing himself quickly with a clean efficiency before returning to me, taking my hands in his. Another kiss, a tender glance, and he was gone. I missed him the moment he was out of my sight, but I did not allow the feeling to overcome me. Instead I locked it away to keep it safe, and quickly moved to refresh myself and dress. My clothing changed according to what I would need, ensuring to wear durable, flexible and thermal adjusting garb to help combat the extreme temperatures, as well as ensuring that all parts of my skin were covered all the way to my neck. The charcoal grey clothing was streaked with black and white accents, securing my utility belt around my waist and began to fill it with as much as it could carry.
Picking up my lightsaber, I twirled it masterfully through my hands, switching grips before then securing that upon my hip as well, knowing that this time, I would not go anywhere on that planet without it. Once dressed, I flung on my cloak and made my way to the hanger where I could then begin directing the loading of supplies, ensuring that we had plenty of generators, thermal radiators, energy shields, temporary accommodations, food, fresh water, nutrition packs, medical supplies, emergency beacons, communication towers, sensory rods, everything I could possibly think of that I'd wished I'd had as a padawan on that planet.
Some of the clones thought that my demands were too much, but I refused to budge on anything and made no changes to my list, making them ensure that everything was present, down to the last tool kit, before being satisfied that we might be somewhat ready for this mission. I was to instruct the landing party on the dangers of the planet during the flight, and I warned them that if any made a mockery of my severity, disagreed, made comment or disregarded my information in any manner, they would be off the landing party. Three clones were dismissed just for disagreeing with me on that count.
All the while Master Plo and Kit oversaw the progress, and once we were underway with three battle-cruisers under Master Plo's command with Commander Wolfe behind him, I began my lectures. I taught the clones, my master and Kit about every possible danger they would face, and listed every means in which to either avoid it or kill it, as well as the means to seek out the safest paths. The purple lichen was key, it meant the area was safe from spores, poison, acid, and a great many other things beside, including flesh eating plants. One that seemed to disgust the men in particular was the giant flower which spat poison then devoured you by absorbing your nutrients through the roots, dragging you underground in order to savour you.
The lecture went on and on, as there was no lack of dangerous on this planet, and when I came to the people, the Rothians, I iterated strongly that they were not to be taken lightly. "If you turn your back on any of them, it is seen as a sign of disrespect, and they will attack you. They will use their powerful jaws and long fangs in order to break your neck with a simple twitch of their jaw. Be subdued and quiet, they do not like loud noises, they are sensitive to smells too, so do everything you can to hide your scent. I found that covering myself in a muddy ichor hid the smell well, I shall show you if we locate any upon arrival. Their chief is the most powerful and most easily offended Rothian in the tribe, so no matter what, do not appear as a threat. Do not meet their eyes, do not raise your voice, do not make any sudden movements, especially with weapons in hand. Do not suddenly run, or they'll be tempted to hunt you, but do not show weakness. When we enter their camp, they will make an attempt to intimidate you, including hissing, snarling, baring fangs and claws, scratching and overcrowding. No matter what, do not back down at them. Look directly ahead, and keep moving. If you show weakness, they will kill you."
"Sir." One of the clones stood up, so I nodded my head to grant permission to speak as I had been showing them holograms of conceptual images of what everything looked like. "If these Rothians are so aggressive and territorial, how do we plan to win their alliance?"
"That will be the job of us Jedi. They will single us out as the strongest warriors, as we a more similar to them in terms of athletics, speed and agility. The chief will choose someone to battle, and we must subdue him. Providing we succeed, we may then present the gifts we have brought, and we can begin the lengthy discussion of either securing their alliance with us, or at least ensuring that they will not intervene. Although territorial predators, the Rothians will acknowledge a superior enemy, and if they are made aware of the danger they faced against an army of droids and their weapons, they should agree to our mission." I answered the clone who saluted before sitting down. "I cannot emphasise enough just how dangerous this planet is. If you lose focus or allow yourself to relax, it will kill you. You must remain aware of your surroundings at all times, and trust on your instincts. They will be your only saviour, and if by some unfortunate incident you become separated…everything you learn here, will be the only thing that will give you a single hope of survival."
Satisfied that I had conveyed the severity of the situation, I then continued with my lecture. The clones, upon learning more about the hostilities of the planet, became exceedingly impressed when it was discovered the reason I knew so much about it was because I had lived there for two years alone with barely any supplies. I warned them not to think that just because we were going in prepared and with equipment it was a reason for them to think themselves safe, and they vowed that they would follow my orders to the letter. It brought me comfort to know that they understood, and so after the briefing, I stood upon the bridge of Master Plo's lead ship where he came to stand beside me.
"You are very brave, returning to the place you fear the most."
"I do it only because I wish to protect you and Master Fisto, master." I told him simply, watching as the bright lights of the hyperspace lane soared past the viewport. "And you should know I will not forgive the Council for asking this of me.
"I know." Choosing not to lecture me on the fact that it was the way of the Jedi to forgive, Master Plo merely continued to stand beside me. I was grateful for his silence, and his presence, as it encouraged me to relax a little. I would not be alone this time, so I did not need to fear. I only hope that the senses and instincts that had dulled over the past ten years would reawaken upon stepping onto that planet once more, because if not, then I feared that I would not survive it a second time around.