(The Change in the Game)

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I don't own Bones.

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She thought she heard a moan and woke from a fitful sleep. Not sure why she had been so restless during the night, she turned over on her side and observed her partner lying next to her. He was sweating though the room temperature was comfortable. His head moved from side to side and his mouth twisted as if trying to speak but couldn't. As she watched she noticed that his hands started to clench and unclench by his side. His moans became louder and she debated whether she should wake him or not.

Gently placing her hand on his arm, she was startled when he rolled away from her, moved off the bed and fell on the floor. Afraid for her lover, she moved off the bed and hurried around to where Booth lay. Not sure what to do, she stood at the end of the bed looking down at him. "Booth, are you alright?" She wanted to touch him, but decided not to do that for the moment.

His voice was muffled by the carpet, but she did hear his reply. "Yeah . . . yeah." He continued to lay there trembling, trying to control his body. "Go back to bed . . . I'm fine."

"Booth, can I help you?" She knelt on the carpet, but refrained from touching him.

His body finally stopped trembling and Booth knew that the worst had past. Rolling over he sat up. "No, I'm fine . . . it was just a bad dream . . . I get them sometimes."

"Yes, I know." Brennan moved to sit cross-legged on the carpet. "I remember hearing you yell sometimes when you stayed in my guest bedroom and you had a bad dream when we were in Las Vegas."

Surprised, Booth cocked his head to the side. "You never told me that . . . I don't get them all of the time, just sometimes . . . I . . . the things I've done. They never leave me. The things that I've experienced . . . I wish I could forget them, but I can't."

"I understand." Not sure what else to say, Brennan decided her partner might need a diversion. "I have bad dreams sometimes . . . I dream about being abused while I was in foster care . . . sometimes I dream about killing Gil Lapin and sometimes I dream about you dying . . . that's the dream I hate the most. It's too bad we don't have any control over what we dream about."

Rising from the floor, Booth moved the few steps he needed to stand next to Brennan and reached down for her hands. Once her hands were in his hands, he pulled her up and then circled his arms around her, resting his chin on her shoulder. "Yeah, if I could choose my dreams they would be dreams about us together . . . not war or killing . . . no pain, just love."

She held her arms around him and held him tightly against her body. "I'm sorry I touched you . . . when you were dreaming. I shouldn't have done that."

"No, don't apologize." He wanted to assure her that she hadn't done anything wrong even if what she said was true. "I just . . . when I'm dreaming and it's about . . . when it's about being a prisoner of the Republican Guard . . . I . . . I react if someone touches me. So far, I've never hit anyone. I hope I never do . . . I just move away from whoever touches me . . . I scared Parker once. He grabbed my arm and shook it when I was having that dream and I did what I just did now, rolled off the bed. The poor kid cried for quite a while. He was just four years old. It wasn't his fault, but he thought he'd hurt me. He didn't understand what was going on and I couldn't really tell him what I had been dreaming about. I just told him a monster was after me. He got it, at least I think he did."

She released him and brushed her hand against his cheek. "I'm not worried, Booth. Like I said, I have bad dreams too."

Relieved that she understood, Booth sat down on the edge of the bed. "You said that you dream about me dying . . . Is this about when I was shot by Pam Noonan?"

Moving closer to the bed, Brennan sat down next to Booth. "Pam Noonan and when the Grave Digger kidnapped you and left you on the ship, when Gil Lapin tried to kill you, when you were kidnapped by Melvin Gallagher, when Brodsky attempted to kill you and killed Vincent instead . . . when you were diagnosed with a brain tumor. You have almost died several times, Booth. I dream about all of those times."

Moved by the sadness in her voice, Booth placed his arm around her and pulled her closer to his side. "Bones, I'm sorry that I've caused you pain. Being my partner has put you through a lot . . . what I do can be dangerous and being my partner just . . ."

She didn't allow him to finish. "I chose to work with you, Booth. The fact of the matter is, I blackmailed you to make you allow me to work with you in the field. I chose this life and I wouldn't change anything. It has allowed me to study aspects of society I would have never known existed if I had stayed ensconced at the Lab. Your near misses have weighed heavily on me that is true, but working with you has benefited me more than caused me grief. I was a great forensic anthropologist before I started working with you, but I have become the best at what I do because of the opportunities I have had to add to my knowledge working cases with you. Some of the cases we have worked on were learning experiences and I doubt I would have been given the same opportunities in the Lab or working in ancient sites. I love being your partner and I love you."

Surprised, Booth paused before saying anything. "You've never said that before . . . that you love me . . . I love you too." This was the first time she had ever said she loved him and he was a little stunned. She had always told him that love wasn't real and he never expected her to say those exact words to him.

"When I was younger, I didn't believe that love was real. You know why." Brennan had been betrayed by her family and she had grown to distrust the concept of love. "I have changed my mind. You made me change my mind. Booth . . . you have been my friend for a long time. We've been through a few trials together and even though I refused to commit to you over a year ago you didn't stop being my friend. That was very important to me. Your friendship is very important to me. It showed me that I could trust you. Even when you were with Hannah you didn't stop being my partner and my friend."

Hannah had been a mistake and it had taken him a long time to realize that. "You're my best friend, Bones. You and I are sympatico. I've never had a friend like you and believe me it's important. When stuff gets rough we still find a way to be friends and that is rare. I won't ever take that for granted."

She knew he meant what he said. He rarely lied to her. "Yes . . . we won't take that for granted."

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