Chapter 8

Hope entered The Java, heading straight to the table where her half-sister was waiting for her.

'How's Bo these days?' Julie Williams asked, after Hope placed her order.

'I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I'm afraid he blames me too.'

In spite of the counselling sessions, Hope felt Bo was yet to let go of what happened five years ago. He tried really hard and there were times he was his old self. But there were other times he would be sullen and unfriendly, refusing to let her get close.

'Don't talk like that, of course he doesn't. And I'll tell you this again, Frankie and Marcus were just looking for somebody to blame at the time.'

Hope felt Julie would think differently if she had been there, to hear the hatred in Carly's brother's voice during that terrible scene at Caroline's house. A self-centred, ball breaking bitch, he called her. Well, she made some bad decisions and blamed Carly for a lot of things. And the time she coldly rubbed it in Carly's face that she and Bo had a 25 year old history and both families were firmly on her side.

What I see this you want this to play out as a great love story and it's not. You say you love Bo? Then maybe you should start thinking about what you're doing to his life.

Carly had bore her cruel words with a quiet dignity that made her even more resentful of her at the time, causing her to lash out at Bo when he came to Carly's rescue. Whenever she remembered that evening Hope cringed, realising how sanctimonious and bitchy she'd appeared to Carly and Bo at the time. She, who would never wilfully hurt anyone, doing and saying all those things. Bo forgave her, when she didn't deserve to be forgiven. She and Bo got back together, but at the expense of another. Which only made her realise the deep love and bond Bo and Carly while she was gone, since Carly didn't have to scheme to get Bo back even if she had the mind to do so. Bo had gladly fallen into Carly's arms in a heartbeat.

Hope confided in Julie about Bo's occasional pensiveness and black moods. 'I don't even know if he's actually thinking of her or their child.' She added.

'He still doesn't know if it's a boy or a girl?'

Hope shook her head. Adrienne was the only one in Salem besides Rafe who knew but their loyalty to Carly was far above Bo's feelings. 'It's killing him not knowing or not even seeing a photograph. And with Christmas coming soon, I'm dreading he'll get worse. I know Carly has every reason to hate us. But after that thing with Melanie not knowing who her parents were for years, she has to stop punishing him like this. The more she keeps his own child from him, the worse it would be between us.' Hope insisted. 'And I can't stand seeing him this way.'

'Eventually, Carly will realise their child has the right to know its father. In Melanie's case, it wasn't like she kept her from Daniel on purpose, like we all thought at first.' Julie got that info from Jennifer, who was still yet to hear from Carly again since her departure from Salem. 'Try not to worry honey. Things will get better with Bo, you'll see.'

Hope shrugged and took another sip of her coffee, hoping she was right.

At the docks, Bo was staring down at an old photo he found in an old album from his mother's attic. The album was full of photos of Carly and him during their time together the first time around, which he now kept in a locked drawer. But this particular photo was always in his wallet. It was taken on New Year's Eve 1991, Julie's party in The Wings. Carly was standing behind him, her arms clasped round his waist. They were both smiling for the camera, Carly's eyes twinkling.

That smile. Those eyes.

Will he never be free of his guilt?

Anytime Bo called Frankie or emailed him, he got hung up on, his messages unanswered. And no matter how much he badgered Adrienne, she stubbornly refused to tell him where Carly was living now or a word about their child. And for a long time Rafe refused to speak to him. But Roman had managed to stop him from resigning, to Hope's fury - as she blamed him for the humiliation she got from Frankie. They were back to their old friendship but Rafe refused to say a word about Carly either. And Melanie couldn't help because she was on the same boat as him. Amidst tears, she had told him what happened when she went to see Carly at the hospital and never saw nor heard from her since. For Carly to turn away from the daughter she loved very much, she must have been really angry. But Bo understood all the same. Add what he did to her, Carly had reached her breaking point.

A reconciliation between Melanie and Carly would be easier, compared to Carly and him. He had betrayed her in the worst possible way... to make things easier for himself. But would he have done things a whole lot differently if he had known she was pregnant? That particular question kept nagging him. And what would he do if he did see her again, besides ask for forgiveness? Will he be faced with a choice between Hope and her again?

'I think you should know what you saved me from.'

Carly's lovely face was illuminated by the flames of the fire as she listened to him intently.

'You saved my life and I can't thank you enough. But I can love you and I do love you. I've never loved anyone as much as I love you.'

'I love you too. But you don't have to thank me for what we have because I'm no more responsible for this than you are.' She replied softly.

'Well hell, we ought to thank somebody.' He smiled as she chuckled, loving that sound coming from her mouth.

'Who do I thank? I guess I ought to do it like the Mayans do it.' Raising his voice he said to the star filled sky, 'Gracias a la vida!' before kissing her deeply and holding her tight in his arms, daring anything or anyone to try taking this beautiful woman away from him.

'Damn it!' Bo swore, staring at the river.

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Dededo, Guam

'Mummy?'

Carly's mind went back to the present and she focused on the bright green eyes looking at her with worry. 'Yes, sweetheart?' she asked, drawing the little girl standing beside her closer.

'Are you okay?'

'Of course I am. Why do you ask?'

'You look sad.'

'Oh no... darling, I'm not. Really I'm not. I was just thinking hard about something. I'm not sad, I promise.' Smiling, she leaned forward and pressed a kiss on her daughter's forehead. 'Run along now.'

The five year old cupped Carly's cheek briefly before running back to her twin and three friends of theirs who were playing by the pool. Carly watched as her daughter say something to her brother who turned to look at her, his expression suddenly worried. But Carly smiled and waved, earning sweet smiles from them and to her relief, went on with their game.

My miracle children, she thought the familiar love and fierce protectiveness sweeping through her. When they were born, she was bent on not giving them names associated with Bo. But even though she was very bitter over him and the Bradys, Isabella Toscano had been like a sister to her. Hence she had named her daughter, Evangeline Isabelle Serena Manning. The boy was Ethan Rafael Francis Manning and Frankie, Piper, Marcus and Adrienne were their godparents.

Although they both had her natural chestnut hair and green eyes, they were fraternal twins. Evangeline, 'Vange' only to Ethan, looked more like her. Ethan, four minutes older, had his father's handsome features; both that and his mannerisms painfully reminded her of Bo and Shawn Douglas. And even at five, Ethan and Evangeline seemed wise beyond their years. Their large eyes had a look of intensity that heightened their adorable looks. They resisted being pampered, were each other's best friend. But they showed in many ways, how much they loved their mother. Carly realised early they were protective of her and always seemed to sense whenever she was troubled. Once, when the crushing sadness swept through her, Ethan slipped his little hand into hers, asking no questions. Another time it happened, Evangeline-without a word- nestled her thin body against hers. They were her joy, her pride and very existence. She owed the twins nothing but the best, which was why she still kept going for therapy; Frankie, Piper and Marcus doing their own bit. What Evangeline sensed just then wasn't sadness; just her mind going back to the past. With Christmas round the corner, her mind went back to a Christmas many years ago. 1991, her first happy Christmas with Bo, Shawn Douglas and the Bradys. She still remembered the warm feeling of being a member of the family, secure of Bo's love and looking forward to their future together... which she despised herself for. In D.C, reconstructive surgery had taken care of her battered face. Besides a recommended psychiatrist, Frankie, Piper and Marcus had given her a lot of emotional support during her recovery, which she was more than grateful for. By the time the twins were born, Carly felt the need to regain control of her life. D.C not being her scene, she had bought a large house in Dededo and moved there after the twins' first birthday.

Sometimes Carly had nightmares of that fateful day, the dark shape descending on her. And occasionally there were intense feelings of sadness, anger and bitterness. She missed Nicky and Melanie but then remembered their rejection. And kept reminding herself of the empathy she got during her recovery.

What happened at Parker's christening wasn't my fault.

And whenever she thought of Bo, she pushed him away by remembering the painful phone conversation. She still saw a therapist, wanting to get rid of the negative feelings and be the mother Ethan and Evangeline deserved and the dedicated doctor she has always been. And so far, her life in Dededo with them was of relative peace.