(After 'The 200th in the 10th')
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He'd forgot that some of his neighbors celebrated Christmas Eve with fireworks. He'd had problems with the sounds of fireworks in the past, but that had been when he was just 20 years old and he was recovering from being tortured as a prisoner of war. That particular 4th of July had been an anxious time for him. The noise had reminded him of gun fire and explosives going off and even though he knew he was back home and staying with his grandfather, he still couldn't stop shaking the whole time the fireworks were blasted in the night air.
Aware that his grandson was in distress, Hank had turned on the radio and turned the volume up to drown out some of the noise outside. He'd moved a chair over to where his grandson was sitting and he sat next to him for the next few hours telling him stories from his childhood trying to divert the young man's attention. Booth had never forgot his grandfather's kindness during that stressful period in his life and oh how he wished that his grandfather was alive and with him now.
The evening had started out just like most evenings started in the Booth and Brennan household. He and Brennan had cooked dinner and after they and Christine were finished eating, Brennan had helped their daughter get a bath while Booth had cleaned up the kitchen. Once their tasks were done, Christine had run back into the living room to watch the National Geographic Channel for an hour with her parents.
His first inclination that his evening was about to take a turn towards the bad had been when he had heard a pop pop pop sound outside. Startled, he glanced at the large picture window and saw some lights in the sky over his neighbor's house. As he stared at the white lights, louder pops and booms started to ring out in the neighborhood and with each boom, Booth was mentally driven back in time to not when he'd been a young man in his first war, but as an older man, attacked in his own home and almost killed. Frozen where he sat, his body started to tremble, sweat started to bead on his forehead and his heart rate picked up speed.
Aware that something was happening to her husband, Brennan had told Christine that it was time to go to bed and had escorted her to her room. While her daughter had moved on to her bed, Brennan had to fight with herself not to race from the room to check on Booth. Once Christine was settled in her bed, her cover pulled up to her chin, Brennan had left the room, closed the door behind her and hurried back to the living room.
Her partner was sitting in the same spot where she had last seen him. The look on his face made Brennan's heart beat faster. He didn't look like he was afraid, but his hyper alertness, the wild look on his face told her that he was not alright. Cautiously, Brennan approached him, but was careful to keep a little distance between them. "Booth . . . Booth . . . Booth." He didn't respond and that worried her more.
The loud explosive sound that appeared next made Booth finally move. Standing, he moved over to where the fireplace was and placed his back against the wall on the right side. This allowed him to keep the window out of sight. It didn't help with the noise, but it did stop him from seeing the flashing lights as the fireworks went off in the night sky. His heart pounding, Booth wasn't sure why he was acting the way he was acting. He knew he wasn't in a war zone and he wasn't in danger, but he kept flashing back to when he had been in the Mighty Hut and it had been destroyed while he had been attacked by rogue agents. He didn't seem to be able to focus and as the fireworks grew in intensity so did his reaction.
Wary of Booth's demeanor, Brennan turned off the television, moved over to where the jukebox was and turned it on. The music she selected was jazz and she hoped it would help to soothe her husband. The music playing louder than it normally did, she moved back across the room and spoke to Booth in a quiet manner. "Booth, you're alright. What you are hearing are fireworks being set off by our neighbors. I find it a ridiculous waste of money, but it isn't my money so I suppose it doesn't matter . . . Booth, you're standing in our living room in our new house. You are not in the Mighty Hut." She watched him close his eyes and lean against the wall. "I think you are remembering when you were attacked in our old house. I could be wrong, but I don't think I am . . . Booth do you remember when we made love for the first time?" She moved a little closer, but not close enough to touch him. "I remember it very well. I was upset about Mr. Nigel Murray's death and you were kind enough to hold me and made me feel safe. I did feel safe Booth. You helped me in many ways but feeling safe was something I needed at the time."
Booth could hear Brennan talking to him and he forced himself to pay attention to her words. "You were upset."
"Yes, I was upset that a young man had died." Brennan moved a step closer and stopped. "I was upset that it could have been you that answered the phone. I was upset that I didn't understand why anyone had to die that day . . . And you, you understood what I was feeling and you held me in your arms and talked to me. That was so important to me, Booth."
Concentrating on her words, Booth stared at Brennan using her as a lifeline. "Yes, you came to me and I held you in my arms . . . I wanted to help you . . . I wanted you to feel safe."
"And I did, Booth. I felt safe in your arms." She moved close enough to touch him. Slowly moving her hand, she touched his arm and waited to see how he would react. "I want you to feel safe Booth. You are safe, but I want you to feel it too."
Her words, her touch drew him to her. He stepped away from the wall and placed his arms around her. "I want us both to feel safe, Bones . . . I don't know why I'm acting like this . . . I know I'm safe here with you, but I can't . . . I can't let it go . . . I can't forget."
His words made her want to cry. She had almost lost him when he'd been shot in their home and then to be separated when he'd been arrested and placed in prison had been a terrifying time for her. Brennan had been desperate to free him from prison and she finally accomplished it, but her husband was damaged. His trust had been damaged, his positive outlook in life had been broken, his confidence had been shaken and she knew that it would take a long time to fix him. "No, you can't forget, but you're safe Booth. You're home with me and Christine. Durant is awaiting trial for what he did and so are the men who helped him. You're safe Booth. I need you to feel safe."
Lowering his head, he rested his forehead on her shoulder. She was everything he had ever wanted in life. Someone to love him and to trust him. He tried to make her feel safe and he felt safe with her. "I love you Bones."
"I love you too, Booth." Brennan held her husband against her body and felt his body stop trembling. "We're safe here, Booth. No one can touch us here. What happens outside these walls cannot touch us here. You're safe. I'm safe. Christine is safe."
"Yes, we're safe." Booth felt calmer. The fireworks were still exploding in the neighborhood, but he knew what they were and he didn't feel threatened anymore. "I love you so much, Bones."
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