Chapter 21

Bo woke up with a start, his heart hammering in his chest. Sitting up, he glanced at Hope who lay under the covers, asleep. Gently he got up and went to the bathroom, splashing tepid water on his face. His hands were trembling and he could feel the throb of a headache. Opening the medicine cabinet, he found a bottle of aspirin and went downstairs after slipping on a T-shirt.

In the kitchen, he slipped two pills in his mouth before drinking a glass of water. His hand was trembling less but he still felt shaken from the nightmare he had.

He was chasing a dark figure down a long passage, his gun drawn. The passage had suddenly turned to a maze and he made his way past the corners he kept hearing a mocking laugh and then a gunshot. Finally, he found a door and opened it slowly….

And he saw a woman tied to a chair, bent forward. Raising her by the shoulders, he saw it was Carly. Her face and neck livid with bloody slashes, the green eyes replaced by empty sockets, blood flowing from them. Choking, he'd knelt by her, holding her face between his trembling hands.

"You did this to me..." she whispered hoarsely.

"Princess, please…"

You left me all alone. YOU did this to ME.'

Mummy! came the screams of two children, in deep anguish.

Bo shook his head, pressed a fist against his trembling mouth. If anything happened to Carly... how would he ever live with the knowledge he was unable to save her, yet again? How would he ever face her children, especially the two who belonged to him? He could still hear the sound of their screams, ringing in his head. Did they have Carly's eyes or his? Did their son have his rebellious streak and temper, their daughter her mother's feistiness, as Melanie did? His mind turned bitter as he remembered Hope's words to him not long after Carly first return. She had been glad he and Carly never had a child together. While he knew she had every right to be angry to be confronted by an ex he and the family-not even Shawn Douglas- ever told her about, it had taken a lot of effort on his part not to call her out on that insensitive statement, especially when he remembered Carly's anguish and eventual sad resignation she wouldn't have another baby. Hence, she'd focused her energy on Nicky, to make up for the lost years. A little too much, it turned out and the eventual beginning of the end. The kid was his father all over, taking advantage of Carly's love and manipulating her and she'd made it worse by spoiling him and making excuses for him. He'd denied the time Carly accused him, but she was right, he had resented Nicky for disrupting their lives and changing their happy, comfortable lives. As if moving from the boat to Shane and Kim's mansion- all to make Nicky feel at home in a familiar environment- wasn't bad enough, they fought constantly and by the time she recovered from her amnesia, neither of them had found a way to rebuild what they once had. Lawrence had no doubt egged him on, while Vivian's sole purpose was to ruin her life forever. But Nick had been the catalyst of their disharmony. From the moment he found out the truth on their wedding day.

'I know I've destroyed your love for me.'

'It would've been so much easier if I didn't love you. I'd be able to chuck this all up as bad experience. But I can't do that, not for want of trying.' He faced Carly, refusing to be swayed by the unhappy look on her pale face, or the teary eyes. He was hurting too, more than she was, as far as he was concerned. 'I love you too much. That's why it hurts so damn much.'

'Is... is there any chance...?' she whispered.

'I don't know. What are we supposed to do... how are we supposed to put the pieces back together again?'

'You love me but you can't trust me...'

'Why didn't you tell me about Nicky? My God! After all the pain and suffering... I went through that with you! And then you get the best news of your life, that your son is alive and you can't share that with me? I don't understand that!' He turned away to pick up two life belts as an excuse not to look at her.

'I was just so afraid.'

'Why... why were you afraid, Carly? Were you afraid I wouldn't accept him because he was Lawrence's?'

'I...I was afraid for Nicky...'

'You keep saying that! You've got to tell me why. Why were you afraid for Nicky, why did you want to protect Nicky, why?!'

For a moment he felt Carly would finally open to him as he watched her visible struggle. 'The repercussions... if the truth got out,' she said at last, now sobbing. 'before he was ready to learn... before he was ready to learn that Vivian, the only woman he's loved all these years stole him from me! Deceived me and deceived him!'

'Wait a second... I was here for you. I was right here for you. I would've done back flips for you, Carly and for Nicky! We could've gotten the kid counselling, we could've dealt with this together!'

Carly could only stare at him, guilt and remorse and something akin to stubbornness on her tear stained face.

'But instead... you decided to...' the thought of it leaving him feeling even more betrayed, 'you decided to go to Lawrence with this. Why couldn't you trust me with this? I need to know that.'

More tears flowed from her eyes. 'I'm so sorry...' she replied, moving closer to him. 'I'm so sorry.'

She still didn't want to open up, he realised. 'Yeah. Me too.' Bitterly he went below, leaving her alone on deck the sound of her weeping softly almost making him turn back, but forced himself not to.

When Carly came back, he'd soon realised the bond between them was still there, despite how a lot had changed and he still in love with Hope. He'd given in to his feelings, admitted his reawakened love at the docks and ended up hurting her without meaning to. If only she knew how saying goodbye to her yet again had cut his heart, weeping after the door closed behind her. Now she believed their time together had all been a lie. If only she knew he never forgot her during the miserable five years; the special things about her forever stuck in his mind.

The way she rubbed his lower lip with her thumb.

Her vivid green eyes and the way they sparkled whenever she smiled at him.

The way she blushed whenever he complimented her.

Her nickname for him, 'sailor'.

The way her skin always felt so soft under his hands.

The love in her eyes and voice when she recited the ancient Mayan prayer to him on the top of El Castillo, so long ago.

When she told him he was the most wonderful man in the world, which made him feel ten feet tall.

He sighed deeply. He could understand her anger only too well, what she had seen and heard at the docks... the ultimate betrayal. But if only she would listen to him long enough for him to explain.

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Carly swallowed the aspirin with some water, her head throbbing. The nightmare she'd woken up from had been terrifying. She was back in her apartment that fateful day... the dark shape descending on her. Only this time, he was clawing at her face with a knifed glove before stabbing her repeatedly on the stomach. Raising her eyes, she saw Bo at the distance, walking away from her.

Bo, help me! She had screamed. But he'd only walked further and further away until she couldn't see him. Then... she'd heard the screams...

Mummy!

Carly covered her eyes with a trembling hand. Ethan and Evangeline screaming for her in the dream. Did her nightmare have a significant meaning or simply a reflection of her stressed mind? Damn it, she hated being back in this cursed town, it's already started having a bad effect on her. Why did Fate have to bring her back here after all this time? Her conversation with Emma about Nicky had proved enlightening, all the more reason she wanted her son to wake up. But she also wanted to go back to peaceful Dededo, where Ethan and Evangeline were. Standing in the same room with Bo had been an ordeal, more so no thanks to the nonsense coming from his mouth. All he cared about were his feelings and what he felt entitled to. If she never got pregnant, he wouldn't have given her a second glance at all. She smiled grimly as she thought of the day they said goodbye. The whole time he made a show of not wanting her out of his life, he was inwardly relieved she made it so easy for him... reuniting with Hope, whom she'd heard him tell he never wanted to be without her again.

What I see is you want this to play out as a great love story and it's not, Hope had coldly told her.

Refusing to give in to tears, Carly rinsed out the glass, turned off the kitchen light and went back to bed.

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Emma kissed Carly on both cheeks on meeting her at the lobby, riding the elevator to ICU together. Someone was standing by Nicky's door, peering at him through the door's window.

'Is she a friend of yours?' Emma asked in a low voice.

Carly narrowed her eyes, unable to place the elegantly dressed woman who had her back to them. It was when she turned to wipe her nose with a hanky that Carly finally saw who it was.

'Kate?'

Kate Roberts looked up, her expression now flustered. 'Oh, Carly. Hi.' Sniffing, she slipped the hanky back in her Gucci shoulder bag before reaching out to shake Carly's hand.

'Did you come to visit Nicky?'

Kate hesitated then nodded. 'I heard about the shooting in the papers and I wanted... to let you know how sorry I am. I wasn't sure where you've been staying or I would've shown up in person. I can only imagine what you must be going through...'

'I'm fine,' Carly replied firmly. 'And I know he'll come out of this soon and we'll get on with our lives. She turned to Emma, touching her shoulder. 'This is Emma Villiers, Nicky's fiancée.'

'Ms. Roberts.' Emma inclined her head. Carly was quick to see something in Kate's eyes as she politely nodded back. Excusing herself, Emma went into Nicky's room, closing the door behind her.

'What's really going on Kate? We're not that friendly, so why are you really here?'

Kate smiled faintly. 'You don't waste time.'

'Taken from experience,' Carly replied bluntly. 'Well?'

'I actually did come to lend support, Carly. After all, our children were once married. But yeah... you rightly guessed it, there's more to it.' Kate turned to stare through the window again. 'I came to see him. I needed to see if he was going to be okay...'she pressed a hand to her mouth but it didn't stifle her sob.

'How do you know Nicky?' Carly asked quietly, her suspicions mounting by the second.

Kate lowered her head before turning back to her, her eyes moist. 'We were once very close.'

'Please tell me you didn't...'

' We were lovers.' Kate confirmed, lifting her chin. ' Years after you and Lawrence left... Nicky came back to visit Vivian and Victor took him on for a while at Titan. I was attracted to him but I fought against it... at first.'

' Did you ever think of what Victor would've done to him if he'd found out about you two?'

'Of course, I knew!' Kate snapped but keeping her voice down. 'And you're mistaken if you think it was a fling for either of us. Nicky was in love with me, he wanted us to be together forever. Victor and I were going through a rough patch but even after we...' a tear rolled down her cheek. 'I sent him away because I wasn't ready to commit to him. It was wrong leading him on, I know that, Carly. But I loved him too. It was just a case of bad timing and...'

'Complications. Yeah... I know that only too well.' Carly replied bitterly. 'A boy's first heartbreak is simply experience.'

'Well, it looks like he's moved on since then. Emma's beautiful, by the way.'

'She's a good girl,' Carly emphasised. ' And I know she'll make him happy, that is if there's no third party interference.'

'It's not going to come from me if that's what worries you. With this and how my son hurt Melanie, I don't blame you for how you probably feel about me right now. But I had to come when I heard what happened to Nicky, you must understand that.'

Carly said nothing.

'In any case, I really hope he pulls through, for your sake and of course, Emma's.'

'Thank you.' Carly managed to say.

Kate smiled faintly, took one more look at Nicholas through the window and walked to the elevators. Carly stood still for a while, trying to gather her thought. Nicky and Kate Roberts. Was there anything else about her son she didn't know?

'Your friend left?' Emma asked as Carly joined her.

'Yeah... she couldn't stay long.'

Emma turned to look at Nicky, his hand clasped in hers, before facing Carly again. 'Belle mere, I don't want to pry into your private business. If I'm overstepping, I apologise in advance.'

'What is it?'

'I know about the situation between you and Melanie. She told me what happened.'

Carly said nothing.

'I understand your point of view in the matter. Some wounds go deep, especially when they come from a beloved one. But...eventually they heal, if you allow it.'

'I'm not sure when.' Carly replied quietly.

'In Melanie's case or Captain Brady's?'

'She told you about Bo too, didn't she?'

'I wanted to know why that woman insulted you the way she did and she'd also mentioned children. I'm not condemning you, Carly. If Bo Brady doesn't know his children, it's his fault, not yours. And what gave Hope the right to say those things about you when she was ready to leave him in the beginning?'

'It's simply too painful to talk about, Emma.' Carly replied, a tear rolling down her cheek, which she immediately wiped away. 'If it wasn't for Nicky, I wouldn't even be here. When I left, I swore to leave all the bad memories behind me and focus on the future, on my twins and keeping them safe. As for Melanie, a mother's love is forever. I see her and I want to hug her. Then comes the bitter reminder and I pull away.'

'She admits she went too far.'

'Perhaps. But I keep wondering what would've been if the attack never happened; if she would've had a change of heart on her own. How can I be sure now it won't be like before? Walking on eggshells around her, hoping something else wouldn't come up to ruin things between us all over again. I gave her up yes... to save her life. She never really accepted that and I am... so tired of feeling sad and blaming myself.'

'Belle mere, you're both victims. But at least she eventually found friends who became her family. You were alone... at the mercy of that man. And you got hurt all over again. It takes a very strong person to get through all that and still be able to love. It's not my place to tell you to reconcile with Melanie. But don't make the same mistake she did. Letting your anger go too far.'

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'We need to talk.'

Bo sighed, rubbing his still throbbing forehead. What with the bad dream and lack of sleep, he simply wasn't in the mood. 'Whatever it is, can't it wait till we get home?'

'No it can't, especially with Ciara in the house; I don't want her overhearing this conversation.'

'If it's about Carly, forget it. I'm not prepared to discuss her with you.'

'Too bad, because we are.' Hope sat opposite him, her expression resolute. 'There's been this huge space between us, Bo and I for one can't take it anymore. And you know very well, Carly's a huge part of the problem.'

'She's here for her son.'

'Just like she was here previously for her daughter, but look how that turned out.' Hope replied, not caring how unfair she sounded. 'I can't do this anymore, Brady. Either you admit you still love Carly Manning or I divorce you.'

Bo surveyed his hands, a grim smile on his face. 'You're giving me an ultimatum, again? Seriously?'

Hope said nothing, wishing she hadn't put it that way. But she was honestly tired of the whole situation between them. 'You need to decide what you want, mend our marriage or go our separate ways.. .for good this time.' She said at last.

'And what exactly do you want, Fancy face?'

'I'm asking you.'

'And I've got nothing to say. Carly, who you'll be relieved to know hates my guts, isn't the problem at all.'

'How can you sit there and say that? She's the reason you're angry all the time and shutting me out. You keep thinking about the twins- yeah, I know about them now! She's obviously meaning to keep punishing you by keeping them from you as long as possible...'

'I'm not discussing them with you.'

'I'm your wife, what affects you affects me, we do need to discuss them.'

'Well, I choose not to, okay? It's my problem entirely, my guilt, my cross to bear. Why do you even care?'

'Why do I even care?' Hope repeated incredulously.

'The first time you found out about Carly, you were glad we didn't have kids together while you were gone.'

'Sure... rub that in my face.' Hope muttered, not meeting his eyes.

'I loved you. I mourned you. But I had every right to be happy and move on with my life- so that was just fucking tactless on your part.'

'And just how long have you been waiting to tell me that?' Hope fired back. 'Yeah, I said it. But you were the one who never told me about Carly Manning, so excuse me if I got territorial!'

Bo swore under his breath.

Hope went on, determined to have her say. 'Getting back to our present situation. It's either we mend our marriage somehow or call it quits. I don't want a marriage where there are three people in it. Don't lie to me, it's not just the twins, you've been thinking about her and it's been much more than guilt.'

'I honestly don't know what you want me to say. We got back together and we've been together all these years...'

'But we haven't put the past completely behind us, at least not you. You think of them and you've been shut me out. This is definitely more than guilt and it's hurting us. So you need to decide. Right now.'

'Don't ask me to do this, Hope.'

Hope felt the tears creeping, biting her lip to force them back. 'you're the one forcing my hand, Brady.'

'If our marriage's going to really end this time, it's your decision and yours alone. I love you, Hope. But I won't be emotionally blackmailed again.'

'You've got it all wrong... not please don't go, we aren't done... Bo!'

Bo left the office, his leather jacket slung over his arm, turning a deaf ear to Hope's protests. With the way he was feeling right now, the whole of Salem could burn to the ground for all he cared.

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Marcus and Adrienne arrived to take over Carly and Emma's vigil in the afternoon. Adrienne's approval of Nicholas' future wife evident by the way she warmly hugged her, giving Carly a quick nod and smile over her head. Carly took Emma's arm as they walked to the elevator. There was still no change in Nicholas' condition and Emma now looked depressed, her blue eyes teary. Carly refused to give in to despair but deep in her heart, was worried about her son too. She rubbed Emma's shoulder consolingly and Emma responded by reaching up to squeeze her hand.

'The hospital has a chapel, yes?' At Carly's nod, she continued, 'I would like to stop there for a moment and pray for my beloved, if you don't mind, Belle mere.'

'Of course I don't mind. I'll pray with you.'

The hospital chapel still looked the same as it was when she first stepped into it as an intern so many years ago, her place of solace when she was sad or troubled. Lighting a candle, they both prayed; Emma holding Carly's hand tightly the whole time.

Daniel turned as the elevator door opened, bracing himself as Carly and Nicky Alamain's fiancée stepped out. 'Carly,' he called, 'there's someone here to see you.'

Maggie Horton Kiriakis stepped forward, undeterred by the sudden scowl on Carly's face as soon as she saw her.

'Hello Carly.' She said tentatively. 'I've been out of town and I heard about Nicky. I just came to let you know I'm here for you, whatever you need and ...' she flinched as Carly's scowl deepened but continued, 'whenever you need to talk.'

'Your concern about my son is touching. But I don't think I'll need anything from you, Maggie. That ship sailed five years ago.'

'Oh God sakes... must you keep bringing that up?' Daniel snapped. 'Maggie came over here to offer her support and you're being rude and unfair to her.'

'Oh I'm sorry, I wasn't aware I should be grateful to *Saint Maggie* for her so-called support. Maybe next time I'll go down on one knee and kiss her exalted ring.' Carly faced her. ' You're so good at fixing other people's lives, aren't you? But only those you feels deserves fixing and the rest cast out to fend for themselves.'

'You can't still be angry over what happened at my house,' Maggie said softly. 'Melanie was simply very upset, you have to understand and let it go. You're hurting yourself by remaining bitter and you're hurting Melanie as well.'

'What I've been trying to tell her.' Daniel stepped in, determined to have his say at last. 'You wouldn't even look at her, Carly! How do think that makes me feel, watching Melanie being miserable and upset because her mother refuses to forgive her. She's your daughter, our daughter. She wants to make amends but all you've been doing is acting like a... a...'

'Like what... a bitch? Finish that sentence, Daniel. I'm just dying to know.' Carly folded her arms, looking him in the eye.

Daniel glared at her. 'The Carly I knew isn't the one standing here right now. Unbending, unforgiving, cold...'

'As opposed to the scapegoat, the pushover who took everything you hurled at her because she believed she deserved your contempt instead of defending herself.'

'Carly, please...'

'I AM what YOU made me!' Carly snarled at him. 'You, Bo, everybody! You have no right to lecture me, Daniel, much less about how I deal with Melanie. I know what I went through for both of you and from both of you only too well. If I've learnt anything these past five years, it's that sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold on to. To protect herself from getting walked over and then stamped on. You and Maggie are so full of it...just where were you when I needed you both? It was all about Melanie then and it's still all about her now... you expect me to forgive her and let it all go... like it was *nothing*. Well... Damn. You. Both. Especially you, Maggie. You were so quick to judge me, so quick to assume the worst of me, even gossip about me. Melanie disowned me right in front of you and you did NOTHING, NOTHING to help me, not even a word of comfort. I don't need a damn thing from you and I would appreciate it if you stayed a good distance from me from now on. As for you,' turning to Daniel, 'I absolutely forbid you to discuss Melanie with me again. Unless it's about my son's condition, don't speak to me. If you can't do that, assign another doctor to his case. Let's go, Emma.'

Emma obeyed, giving Maggie a reproachful look as she followed Carly.

Daniel placed an arm round Maggie's shoulders. Maggie's eyes were closed, a hand against her chest. 'It's okay...'

'I was hoping to mend things between them but I only made it worse.' Maggie whispered. 'I didn't mean to imply her feelings don't matter. God... she must really hate me.'

'I'm so sorry she went off on you like that.'

'But she was right...what did I do to help her that day? Nothing, because I was more concerned about Mel's wellbeing and I guess I was angry Carly didn't tell you both about Phillip and Chloe.'

'She didn't know it was Phillip.' Daniel quietly reminded her, remembering the number of times Carly defended herself after Parker's christening.

'I suppose Carly doesn't know Parker's your son after all?'

Daniel sighed, shaking his head.

'She's not going to take it well when she finds out, you know that.'

'I do know, Maggie. It's going to further seem like she was deliberately ganged up against. And it's not like I don't know where she's coming from, she's got every reason to be angry and hurt. But she and Melanie need each other and five years is more than enough for her to heal.'

'Well, she got hurt from several sources at the time, and I guess to her, I'm Melanie's smug preferance who also happens to be Hope's aunt.' Maggie sighed, pulling out a sealed envelope from her purse. 'I didn't even get the chance to give her Jennifer's letter.'

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After lunch at The Java, Carly called an Uber to take Emma back to the hospital. Emma protested but Carly wanted to be alone for a while, still angry and shaken over her encounter with Maggie and Daniel. What did they know of the pain, suffering and humiliation she went through? Let it go... that sanctimonious busybody had said.

More than ever, she needed to leave Salem again. The cursed town, Frankie described it. Carly walked on and on and the sound of a bell tolling realised she was standing at Bo's former pier, where the Fancy Face was once docked. Their beloved home, where they'd spent many happy times with Shawn Douglas. Their first night back from Mexico... she stood with Bo on the boat's deck, nestled in his warm, strong arms as they looked up at the North Star. And at his request, she had recited the Mayan prayer to him again.

I know not if the voice of man can reach to the sky

I know not if the gods will hear as I pray

I know not if the gifts I asked for will be granted

I know not what will come to pass in our future days

I hope that only good will come, my love... to you

Carly pressed a hand to her trembling lips as the tears came.

'Princess...'

Even if the familiar voice didn't address her by her former pet name, she already sensed his presence. The aftershave was a giveaway. Wiping her eyes, she turned to face Bo.