A/N: What's that? She managed to post a new chapter after four months of nothing? It's a miracle, right?
The ache for home lives in all of us,
the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.
~Maya Angelou
The remainder of the weekend passed with a blur of exhaustion, anxiety, and little girl noise. By Sunday, my mother and Katie seemed under the impression that I was qualified to take care of a three-year-old on my own and would look to me expectantly every time Stella had a need, whether it was help in the bathroom, a meal, or a playmate. I knew as much about kids as I knew about quantum physics, but from what I could tell Stella seemed like a fairly well-behaved child for her age, especially given the fact that she missed her mother and had a broken arm. She had tantrums sometimes, but I'd seen my nieces and nephews act worse. She constantly asked when Stephanie was coming home, and would cry when she didn't get the answer she wanted.
Helen and Frank had stopped by daily to see Stella before going up to spend the day at the hospital. Neither of their partners had accompanied them to the house since their initial visit. Stella was cautious when it came to Helen, likely remembering the way she had yelled during that first visit, but talked incessantly to Frank, lapsing into gibberish at times that no one but Katie could decipher. Stephanie's condition was still considered critical, but stable. The swelling on her brain had gone down enough by Sunday morning to start weaning her off the sedation. The hope was that she would be off the sedation and ventilator within seventy-two hours. I had gone up every day to see her, though the shock of her condition never seemed to fade.
"A woman I used to date is a family lawyer," Katie informed me on Sunday evening after I'd put Stella to bed. "I called her and explained the situation. She said she would be happy to help you get your paternity established." Katie handed me a Post-it note with the name Alison Jackson and a phone number. "I told her I'd pass her number along."
"Thanks," I replied, pocketing the paper. "For this and all you've done the last few days."
Katie shrugged. "It's the only thing I can do that helps Stephanie and Stella. You're doing well, and you have your mother here. I won't be around as much this week because I'm back to my normal work schedule, but I'll stop by in the evenings. Or you can text or call if there's a question."
I nodded my head towards the kitchen, where I could hear my mother loading the dishwasher. "I need to make arrangements for her to get back home. She also needs to get back to work, and God only knows what my father has been up to at home without her. I may need to send my housekeeper up there to clean so she doesn't have a stroke when she gets home."
Katie headed home after telling my mother the front door would be unlocked for her whenever she was ready to come over. I went to the kitchen and leaned against the stove while my mother wiped down counters.
"I appreciate your help, Mom," I said as she finished her work. "But I know you need to get home to Dad and get back to work. I can get a flight arranged for you. I just need to know when you want to leave."
"What about your work, Carlos?" she asked. "Anyone can do my job, but not everyone can do yours. You have a company to run."
"I'm working on that," I told her. "Tank is perfectly capable of doing it all, but normally we have a timeframe on how long I'll be out of the office. We don't in this case, and this time I am capable of working remotely. He's flying out with more of my things tomorrow and we're going to take a couple of days to hammer out the details. It'll require delegating some responsibilities, but we can manage."
"Well, there's no rush for me to get home. The office manager has my shifts cover through Wednesday and told me that the sub is willing to work the whole week if necessary." She hesitated before continuing. "And I've been talking to your father about possibly turning in my retirement papers effectively immediately. You have no idea how long Stephanie is going to be recovering from this or what her long-term prospects will be. You'll need more help than you think. You can't just work from Indiana forever. You have meetings you need to attend at your different offices. You'll need someone to take care of Stella whether you take her with you or leave her here."
"You can't retire just to be on-call for me," I told her. "I'll figure it out. I can always hire a nanny. Besides, what will Dad do if you're gone all the time?"
"He would do what he has been doing since I left —walking around the house naked, eating frozen burritos in front of the television, and falling asleep in his recliner."
I had never really had the desire to do any of those things. Even though I lived alone I rarely left my bedroom naked in case Ella were to come in the apartment. But now that I was faced with the prospect of living with a little girl full-time, I had some regret for not exercising that particular freedom more when I'd had the opportunity.
"I appreciate what you've done, but you don't need to retire on my account. We'll be fine, I promise."
I stayed up until nearly three in the morning making various to-do lists for myself, Stella, and Rangeman. I intended to call Alison Jackson first thing in the morning to set up a meeting. I needed to look at hiring a nanny, whether to enroll Stella in preschool, and find out if she had any upcoming appointments. I devoted a sub-section of her list to Stephanie where I made notes to ensure her bills were paid while she was in the hospital. Katie said Stephanie had everything on autopay, so it was simply a matter of making sure money was regularly put into her checking account.
Next on the priority list was delegating duties at Rangeman. I took a full inventory of both my own and Tank's responsibilities within the company to see where we could reorganize. Tank already worked fifty hours a week and I knew he would work as many as necessary, but I didn't want to take advantage of that. This wasn't just going to be a few weeks. We were potentially looking at several months of me living and working most of the time in Indiana. I didn't feel comfortable leaving the state with Stella until the paternity issue was resolved, and even once it was I couldn't be constantly dragging a three-year-old and a nanny up and down the eastern seaboard every time I needed to go to one of my offices nor could I leave her behind all the time. The truth was I needed to ease up on being a control freak and allow my branches a little more autonomy. I had put people into managerial positions that I trusted more than most and had trained personally. They would and did maintain their respective offices to my standards, so I knew that I didn't need to worry about things going downhill should I step back a little. And the reality was that some of these changes were likely going to be permanent. No matter what happened with Stephanie's health, I was the father to a little girl with whom I intended to maintain a healthy, happy relationship. Even if she made a full recovery, I needed a more consistent schedule with fewer professional responsibilities. Anything more serious than that would mean even more permanent changes.
My personal list was much shorter, since I didn't have much of a personal life. It mainly consisted of setting up an office, learning my way around Fort Wayne without the constant need for GPS, and finding a gym. A sane man would have put go to therapy at the top of his list, but I've never claimed to be sane.
I managed a few hours of sleep before Stella was up demanding breakfast and cartoons. I took care of her needs and made myself an egg white omelet while checking out flights for my mother. I couldn't find her a direct flight from Fort Wayne to Newark, but was able to get her on a flight later that day that would take her from Fort Wayne to Detroit then Newark. I appreciated her help and would probably miss it once she was gone, but five whole days with her was more time than I'd spent with her at once since I was in high school.
"I think you're trying to get rid of me," my mother said when I told her about the flight. The snap in her voice made me afraid she might throw her cup of coffee at me.
"I'm trying to get you back to your own life," I replied, hoping that would cover me. I saw her knuckles whiten around the mug.
"I really do appreciate everything you've done," I continued, and I meant it. "But I have to get used to doing this on my own."
The tension in her hands lessened slightly and I swallowed a sigh of relief. "I know," she replied. She took a sip of coffee and glanced over at Stella, who was pretending to feed toast to a doll. "I'll miss her. I've loved spending time with her."
"You're welcome to visit whenever you want," I said, nearly as amazed as my mother at hearing those words come out of my mouth. I had never issued such an invitation for them to come visit me in Trenton.
"Maybe we can sneak away for a few days at Christmas," my mother said after a moment. "Everyone will probably be relieved to have one less house to visit."
My mother set to helping Stella get dressed for the day while I placed a call to Alison Jackson. I was surprised to find her answering her own phone before realizing Katie had given me her cell phone number.
"I have a busy day in court, but I could stop by your place after work to discuss everything and have you sign a few papers," Alison said after I had introduced myself. "I know Stephanie from when Katie and I went out. I liked her and Stella, so I want to do whatever I can to help out. I know a lot of the family court clerks and judges. I'll see if I can pull any heart strings and get this pushed through quickly given the shape Stephanie is in."
We made plans to meet at seven so that I could get Stella's dinner and bath done before she arrived. I asked if it was okay to have Katie there in case there was information I didn't know and she said it was fine with her. I sent Katie a text message to bring her up to speed and she replied half an hour later that she would be there.
I took my mother to lunch before her flight during which time Stella educated us on the various ponies from My Little Pony. I hadn't anticipated Stella getting upset at saying goodbye to mother at the airport and suffered a few pangs of regret for getting rid of her so quickly as I carried her through the airport. Thankfully, she fell asleep in the car on the ride home.
Tank arrived an hour later and we set to unloading the back of his rented SUV. It contained the remainder of my necessary personal items, the supplies for an alarm installation, office equipment, another gun and ammunition, a lockbox, and legal paperwork. We settled at the dining room table and began going through the restructuring ideas we had each come up with in the last couple of days. Given how long we'd known each other, we had similar ideas, but different approaches. Generally speaking, I would normally be the one to prefer a centralized management structure with limited autonomy to the individual branches and Tank would be the one advocating for a more decentralized set-up. Today we were opposites.
"I can't believe you're going to trust Darren with that much power," Tank said as I outlined my idea. "It'll go straight to his head and then I'll be getting all kinds of calls about him. Remember when you were in Nicaragua? I thought I was going to have to kill him before you got back."
"It won't be like that this time because he'll know I'm still in the loop and I won't hesitate to kick his ass if he gets out of hand," I replied. Plus, I had already told him off for the behavior he had demonstrated while I had been offline for an extended period of time and made it perfectly clear that if I ever heard of that issue again, he'd be out of a job. That had been several years ago, and since then Darren had gotten married and became a father to two little girls. He had matured and I didn't anticipate problems.
Stella woke up as we were discussing whether to create another supervisory position at each branch to help with the additional tasks they would take on. Her hair was a mess from her nap, ensuring no one would ever forget that she was the daughter of Stephanie Plum.
"Who are you?" she asked Tank as she crawled into my lap.
"I'm Tank."
"Fish tank?" Stella replied, sounding a little confused.
I tried to hide my smile in her mess of hair. Tank didn't share my amusement.
"No, like an Army tank. You know the big trucks that blow things up?"
"I like fish," Stella replied. She then proceeded to push her lips out in an effort to make a fish face. After a few seconds of doing this she turned around to look at me, shoving her hair out of her eyes. "I want a fish, Daddy."
"You can't have a fish. Your cat would try to eat it."
Her infamous pout instantly appeared. "I want a fish," she whined. I heard Tank snort, but didn't look in his direction.
"Why don't you find Boston and bring him in here to meet Fish Tank," I suggested. "He loves cats. I bet he'll show you pictures of his cats."
The whining stopped, but there was a slight stomp to her footsteps as she went in search of the cat. Once Stella was out of sight, Tank flipped me off.
"Don't encourage that Fish Tank shit."
"She could call you Pierre instead," I offered, knowing well enough that he'd rather have Fish Tank tattooed on his forehead than have anyone call him Pierre.
Stella reappeared a minute later with the kitten in her arms. Whatever hostility Tank may have had about being christened Fish Tank disappeared as soon as he saw Boston. He held the kitten and talked to Stella about him. He pulled out his phone and showed her the pictures of his own cats and the kittens that one of them had just had. Before I knew it, Stella was sitting in Tank's lap holding her sleeping kitten while we resumed discussions of Rangeman. Eventually the cat ran off and Stella commandeered a sheet of paper and a pen and pretended to write notes, offering an occasional "Good job, Daddy" or "That's right, Fish Tank" as we brainstormed. But by the time we got to the part about contract negotiations, Stella had grown bored and left the room.
I got a text message from Katie around four-thirty saying she had spoken to Stephanie's neurologist and she had finally opened her eyes in response to auditory stimulation. I had hoped to make it up to visit later in the day, but between my work with Tank and the meeting with Alison at seven, it wasn't looking like that would be the case. I knew her parents were up there with her, so that gave me some relief that she wouldn't be alone. I thanked Katie for the information and received a reply back that she would be over in about an hour to help with Stella.
Tank and I continued working until the doorbell rang at five-thirty. I let Katie in and introduced her to Tank. I caught him checking out her ass as she bent over to hug Stella.
"You hit that yet?" Tank asked me quietly as Katie took Stella into the kitchen to get her dinner started.
"No. She's Stephanie's friend," I replied.
"Is she single?"
"As far as I know."
Tank nodded and I saw a glint in his eye that I always saw when he was moving in on a woman. "Keep it in your pants until after the attorney leaves," I said. "I need Katie's help."
Stella insisted that I give her a bath, which left Tank to flirt with Katie. We had found a routine that worked for Stella so that she could play in the bath while keeping her cast dry, but it was still a pain in the ass. Once she was clean and dressed, she ran out to the living room to join Katie and Tank on the sofa and told Katie about Tank's cats. I gave her a few minutes to talk, but eventually cut in to ask Katie about Stephanie.
"She is completely off the drugs that were keeping her comatose, but it'll still be a while before she is more alert," Katie replied as Stella crawled into her lap. "They have to keep her mildly sedated because they don't want her to panic and start pulling at the ventilator tube in her mouth. They hadn't seen her open her eyes for more than a few seconds, but when the doctor said her name today she did open them and look in his direction and focused on him for almost a minute. The neurologist said this is a good sign. It isn't like in the movies where people just wake up right away and are perfectly alert. She'll slowly be more alert and awake more often over the next few days. They've started weaning her off the ventilator and are hoping to have her off it completely by Wednesday morning."
"How are her parents doing? They didn't come over today because they wanted to stay at the hospital," I asked.
"They're behaving themselves. I stopped by to talk to them when I was doing my rounds and found them talking like normal human beings. I guess that's progress."
"Good. I'm hoping to go up tomorrow. I'll leave Stella in the waiting room with them so I can go back and see her."
Katie winced. "The hospital implemented a visitor restriction effective today because of the flu being so bad. No one under eighteen is allowed in the hospital unless they are a patient or have special permission."
Great. Hopefully one of them would be willing to stay with Stella long enough for me to go up and see Stephanie. I knew they had first rights as her parents, but I needed to see her awake. I wanted to reassure her that Stella was okay and I wasn't going anywhere.
"I bet Joetta would be willing to keep Stella for a while so you could go up there tomorrow," Katie said. "She's the woman who lives next door. She has kept her a few times when Steph and I have wanted to go out. She's a sweet woman who always has at least one of her own grandchildren at her house. I'm sure she wouldn't mind. She was just asking me yesterday about what was going on because she had seen you and your mother with Stella and no sign of Stephanie."
I was hesitant to just leave Stella with anyone, but then remembered she wasn't just anyone to Stella and Katie. She was a neighbor, a familiar face.
"Would you mind getting in contact with her and asking? Or giving me her number and I'll do it myself?" I asked.
Katie nodded. "I'll run next door to see if she's home and could come over for a few minutes before Alison gets here. Then you could be formally introduced and see if she's free tomorrow."
Katie left for the neighbor's house and Tank let out a slight moan. "That ass…," he said once Katie was out of the house. I cleared my throat and nodded towards Stella.
"What's ass?" Stella asked innocently. I tried not to laugh, but wasn't completely successful.
"It's not a nice word to use," I told her. "Don't say it. Tank shouldn't be saying it either."
"Uh, yeah," Tank hesitantly agreed, giving Stella a guilty look.
Katie reappeared a few minutes later with an older woman in tow. She was taller than Katie with short silver hair and glasses. We introduced ourselves and spoke for a few minutes about Stephanie. She told me she was free all day tomorrow and to just bring Stella over whenever I was ready to go up to the hospital. We exchanged phone numbers and she left as a car pulled up in the driveway.
"There's Alison," Katie said as a curvy African-American woman emerged from the car. I guessed she was in her forties and nearly as tall as me. Katie and Alison greeted with a friendly kiss on the lips and I heard Tank moan behind me.
"There's no reason for you to stay," I told him quietly.
"I told Katie I'd help keep Stella entertained in case she needed to be in there with you and the lawyer," he replied, his attention focused on Katie and Alison in case they ripped their clothes off and started fucking in the entryway. I rolled my eyes and introduced myself to Alison.
"Carlos Manoso," I said as I shook her hand. "Thank you for coming out."
"It's really no problem," she said. Her gaze rested on Tank over my shoulder.
"This is my colleague, Pierre Montgomery," I told her. "He came out to bring the rest of my belongings and to discuss some restructuring of my business since it looks like I'm going to be out here for a while."
Tank shook Alison's hand as well but gave me a deathly glare when he turned his back to her.
"I'm sure this is a chaotic time for you. I just want to help make this whole process as easy as possible," Alison replied. She walked over to the couch. "Hi, Stella. You probably don't remember me, but you've gotten so big since the last time I saw you."
"Hi," Stella said cheerfully. Even if she didn't remember Alison, she trusted her immediately.
Alison and I headed to the dining room to talk while Katie and Tank stayed in the living room with Stella. Alison pulled several papers out of her brief case and reviewed them with me. Standard releases, confidentiality agreements, and reviews of fees, which I signed and gave back to her. She pulled out a legal pad and a pen and started taking notes.
"Even though you don't question that Stella is your child, the court will likely still want a DNA test to confirm," she began. She slid a piece of paper across the table. "This is a list of the approved labs that can process the DNA test. They send a copy of the results to you, me, and the court directly. We can go ahead and get started on this now, since Stephanie gave you power-of-attorney. You should take Katie with you since her name is also on the POA form so she can verify that Stella is indeed who you claim she is. You can choose whichever lab you prefer, but I would recommend Genetique. They're quick and I've never have any problems with them."
"I'll follow your judgment then," I said. She nodded and made a note on her paper.
"The court may appoint a guardian ad litem for Stella," she continued. "The guardian ad litem is Stella's representative in court and will look out for her interest, since we will also be deciding custody. Since Stephanie probably won't be able to be involved, the judge may also consider appointing an attorney for her to represent her interests, if she is unable to hire one herself. I know it sounds complicated, but I don't think it will be."
I certainly hoped she was right. I didn't want any complications to come into play in regards to establishing my rights to Stella.
"I'll need you to fill out this form." Alison slid another paper across the table. "I'll need to run a background check on you to present to the court. Anything I need to know about?"
"I've been arrested a couple of times for carrying concealed, but those were dropped because of my job and I was later granted a conceal carry permit. I was arrested for grand theft auto as a juvenile and spent six months in juvenile detention in Newark. But that's it."
She nodded a made a note. I liked her. She was efficient and direct. Good qualities in my book, though I imagine she could be a bit much for some people.
"Do you have any other children?"
"I have a fifteen-year-old daughter who lives in with Florida with her mother. I terminated my rights to allow her stepfather to adopt her when she was two because I was in the Army at the time and planned to move back to New Jersey after I got out," I said. "But I still pay child support and visit on occasion."
Alison snapped back in her seat. "How did any court order you to continue child support when you voluntarily terminated your rights and she was adopted?"
"No order. I do it because she is my child and I'm going to provide for her, even if I'm not a big part of her life."
Alison gave me an appraising look. "That's good. I can't get a lot of fathers who have their kids every other weekend to pay child support and you do it even without any parental rights."
I finished filling out the background check form and gave it back to Alison. "I take my responsibilities seriously."
"What are your plans for Stella, if Stephanie makes a full recovery? What sort of involvement do you intend to have with her?"
"I don't have an exact plan at this point," I admitted. "Because I have no idea what is going to happen. Ideally, I hope Stephanie will move back to Trenton so I can see Stella frequently. If not, then we'll work something out. But I have every intention of maintaining a relationship with her and for providing for her financially."
Alison got more information about Stella and Stephanie, asked Katie to put her down on a release of information form so she could speak to the doctors about the limitations of Stephanie's involvement in the process, and had me sign a few more forms. She left at eight promising to email me the finalized documents for review before filing them with the courts and that I should receive a phone call from a laboratory within the next couple of days to set up the DNA test. Katie had put Stella in bed, but she was waiting for me to read a story and go through her picture book. I thanked Alison and went to Stella's room while Katie saw Alison out and Tank lounged on the couch, undoubtedly waiting for Katie to come back in so he could suggest going out for a drink.
I read a book called Love You Forever which ended up being a fairly depressing story to read a child and went through the night-night book routine. It was the first night Stella didn't cry looking at Stephanie's picture. I kissed her on the forehead and rubbed her back.
"I love you, Daddy," she said as she closed her eyes.
"I love you too," I replied. And I meant it. It wasn't just a sense of obligation that made me love her, but the connection I'd found with her in the few days since we'd first met. She was funny, sweet, bright, stubborn, and determined. Just like her mother. She fell asleep quickly and I quietly left her room.
Tank and Katie were sitting on the couch talking when I entered the living room. Their body language told me Tank was probably going to get his wish of a sex-filled evening.
"Alison thinks things should go pretty smoothly," Katie said, blushing slightly when she realized I had been in the room watching her and Tank flirt. "I know she'll do everything she can to help out."
"I appreciate you introducing us, and for coming over to help out tonight."
"It's no problem. I do think I'm going to head home if you don't need anything else," she said, standing up and glancing back at Tank. "Do you want to come over for a drink?" she asked him.
Tank was too cool to jump out of his seat with enthusiasm, but I knew better. He was pumped. I had gotten the impression in the last few months that Tank hadn't been getting laid. Women generally found him intimidating and the only ones who had wanted him lately were ones he wouldn't go anywhere near. He also really liked blondes. "Yeah, that sounds good," he said.
"Come over tomorrow around eleven and we'll keep working," I said as he followed Katie outside. "I want to go to the hospital to see Stephanie in the morning."
He gave me a wave without looking back as he closed the door behind him.
"Why?" Stella posed the question for the fortieth time that morning. I was beginning to develop an eye twitch.
"I've already told you that I'm going to visit Mommy at the hospital, but kids can't come to the hospital right now, so you'll go to Mrs. Scott's house for a little bit. When I'm done, I'll come get you and we'll go home. Fish Tank will be over later."
"Yay! Fish Tank!" she cheered as I pulled her coat over her casted arm.
"Be good for Mrs. Scott," I informed her as we walked next door. Joetta greeted us at the door and told Stella she needed help baking some cookies for her book club that evening. Any tears that had started to form in Stella's eyes disappeared and she took off running to the kitchen without a look in my direction.
Traffic was heavy so it was after nine-thirty before I pulled into the hospital parking lot. I had spoken to Helen earlier in the morning, who had been at the hospital overnight and was planning to leave around ten when Frank was due to arrive. Signs at the entrance to the hospital informed of a visitor ban and along with stating that no one under eighteen was allowed to visit, it also asked visitors who had fevers, coughs, or other signs of illness to refrain from visiting until symptoms disappeared.
Helen was dozing in the ICU waiting room when I arrived. I decided not to wake her and headed back to the unit. A male nurse was in Stephanie's room replacing an IV bag when I walked in.
"Hello," he said cheerfully. "Stephanie, you have a visitor."
I walked over to the bed and noticed Stephanie's eyes flutter. She seemed dazed and unfocused, likely due to the continued sedation that kept her from freaking out over being on the ventilator. I slipped my hand into hers and she turned her gaze over to me.
"Hey," I said. I felt her lightly squeeze my hand. "Stella's okay. I don't want you to worry about her. I'm here and not going anywhere."
I felt her give my hand a light squeeze again and she closed her eyes.
"She isn't staying awake long," the nurse said quietly. "But she is waking up more often this morning than she did yesterday."
I nodded my understanding, not trusting myself to speak at the moment. The look in Stephanie's eyes had been so vulnerable, child-like even. She had looked just like Stella in that moment of consciousness.
"Keep talking to her, even when she's asleep," the nurse recommended. "It helps."
I pulled up a chair and held her hand for a few more minutes after the nurse left.
"Stella has done really well considering she just met me," I told the sleeping Stephanie. "I think you always showing her my picture helped. She took to my mother right away too. My mother offered to retire so she could stay out here with us, but I couldn't take it. I love her, but you can imagine what it would be like spending five consecutive days with your mother."
Stephanie didn't give any indication that she heard me, but I decided to tell her a few more things anyway.
"Your parents have been here for the last few days. They got divorced and both have new partners. They've been behaving for the most part. Your father stood up to your mother. You would have been proud of him had you seen it. I didn't think he could talk that much at one time. Katie has been great. I don't know what I would have done had she not been willing to help. She's even helping me with the legal stuff. She told me about her ex-girlfriend, Alison, who is going to file all of the paperwork so I can get my legal rights to Stella. She's going to file for joint custody so we don't need to worry about any issues while you're recovering."
The only response I got was the whoosh of the ventilator breathing for her and a twitch from Stephanie's hand that I couldn't say for sure was voluntary. I gently squeezed her hand as I stood up.
"I've missed you, babe. Work on getting better." I kissed her on the forehead and left to see if her father had arrived. I found him in the waiting room talking to Helen.
"I didn't want to wake you," I told Helen after settling down with a cup of coffee. "She opened her eyes for a few seconds when I was back there, but she was pretty out of it. The nurse said she has been opening her eyes more often this morning than yesterday."
"That's good news, right?" Helen asked hopefully.
I shrugged. "I would assume so, but I'm not a doctor."
"She opened her eyes a couple of times when I saw her yesterday, usually after I said something," Frank said, taking a swig of what smelled like strong coffee.
Helen looked crestfallen. "She hasn't opened her eyes once when I've been in there. And I've talked to her and everything. Held her hand, kissed her cheek."
Frank and I exchanged the briefest of glances. Of course we had no proof, but it wouldn't surprise either of us if Stephanie would have kept her eyes intentionally closed if she had heard her mother's voice and was conscious enough to give any response. I can't imagine the first person she would want to see after a traumatic car accident and a coma was the mother who had essentially disowned her.
Helen went back to Stephanie's room on her way out and I lingered to talk to Frank for a few minutes.
"How have things been going between the two of you?" I asked him once Helen was out of earshot.
"Better since that first day," he replied. "Sometimes it's almost like things used to be. We used to talk to each other like a normal couple. She didn't used to care so much what people thought. But once the girls were grown, that was all she had to think about. I just got sick of it. Why do you think I did nothing but sit in front of the television all day?" I could see the pangs of regret in his expression as he looked down at his coffee cup. "But Cynthia actually likes to spend time with me. We go out on the boat and she asks my opinion on things other than what I think my kids should do with their lives. We go dancing, play cards, and watch the sunset every night together. She doesn't expect a lot out of me, but appreciates me for who I am."
It was a good thing I was sitting down because I wasn't sure I would have been able to keep standing after that. Frank Plum was a man with actual emotional depth. I wasn't an emotionally demonstrative person, but it was because my emotions ran so deep they cut painfully, so I had to box them in so that I could function. Frank had always demonstrated a level of annoyance and apathy that I had attributed to people who really didn't have much emotional depth. They were the people content with going through the motions. No drive to succeed, just to get by day to day until they died. It turned out I had been wrong about him all along. Probably so had a lot of other people.
I retrieved Stella from the Joetta's house at ten-thirty and got her settled with a snack and cartoons in time for Tank to come back. The satisfied smirk on his face as he walked in the door at eleven told me he had spent the night with Katie.
"You missed out," Tank told me as we got settled at the dining room table. "She knows how to ride a di -,"
"What do you need?" I asked pointedly as Stella came into the room.
"Juice, please."
"I wouldn't have tried," I told Tank after getting Stella settled once more. "She's Stephanie's friend. I couldn't do that to her."
"Trust me, if you had the night I just had, you wouldn't give a damn what Stephanie thought about it," Tank said. I let him have a moment to reminisce before insisting we get back to work.
Our conversation lapsed into deeper discussions about the business and away from Katie's sexual prowess. At one point I mentioned that something may need to be adjusted as time went on and I had a better idea of how available I would be, which made Tank hold up a hand to pause me.
"Why are you talking like this? I thought this stuff was just going to be for a few months until Stephanie is back on her feet?" he asked.
"I don't know what her long-term prognosis is at this point," I informed him. "She may fully recover, but she may also always need care. For now, I'm operating under the assumption that she'll make a full recovery. But even if she does, things have to change. I have a child and I intend to be involved in her life. And if Stephanie refuses to move back to New Jersey, then I'll need to figure out a schedule that allows me either to have time to keep Stella with me or to come out here to see her."
Tank looked at me as though I'd grown two more heads. "You can't be serious. I mean, the kid is cute and all, but can you seriously look me in the eye and tell me you're gonna be acting like her dad? You don't do that with Julie."
"That's different, and you know it," I said quietly. "And yes, I'm serious."
Tank snorted. "I think you feel guilty or whatever that you didn't even know about her. That wasn't your fault. You can do a lot of stuff, but you can't keep up this Mr. Dad routine forever. You'll go nuts, man."
"I didn't ask you here for your opinion on my parenting abilities. I asked you here to figure out how to restructure the company you help me run. If you can't do that, then head back to Trenton and I'll work it out on my own."
Things chilled between us after that, but he didn't make any more comments that veered outside the boundaries of work. Tank was my best friend and I trusted him implicitly, but we had grown apart somewhat in the last few years. I realized as I watched him talk about staffing problems in the Miami office that it had happened after Stephanie left. He had tried to pull me out of my depression in those first few months, but I'd shut him out. Eventually he had given up. And I had only just noticed it. Some friend I was.
We stopped for lunch and resumed discussions while Stella took a nap. By the time she got up, we had figured out the bulk of operational details for the time being with various changes lined up in case Stephanie didn't make a full recovery.
"Thanks for coming out," I told him as he headed out to his rental car. "Are you going to Katie's tonight?"
He seemed uncertain as to whether he wanted to answer my question. "Yeah. We're going to dinner first. Figured it was a little classier to eat food and talk first. We barely got in the door last night before we were taking our clothes off." He smirked. "It's been a while for me, so I'm going to get it while I can."
"Have fun. Don't get her pregnant," I joked.
Tank snorted. "Trust me, I'm wrapping it up. I'm not ready to be some munchkin's bitch, constantly fetching food and drinks. I enjoy my freedom."
I waved as he left and went back inside. Tank hadn't been wrong to doubt my ability to parent Stella. I hadn't given him—or anyone else—reason to believe I was capable of being emotionally invested enough to be an actual parent. But as I'd told my mother, I wasn't a young soldier who knocked up a one-night-stand anymore. I was pushing forty, a successful business owner who had a child with the only woman I had ever really loved as an adult. I had to change my ways. I should have changed them for Stephanie. It was probably too late for that now, but I could change them for Stella. And I would. I already was.
A/N: So if you know me, you know I won't abandon a story. But sometimes my muse takes a hike. Between the terrible Midwestern winter and a busy work life, I hadn't had much time to write. But the weather has improved and work is less busy, so I hope the next update isn't four months from now. fingers crossed. Thanks for the kind reviews and support.