"Mommy, look at my sandcastle!" Stella exclaimed as I helped her lift the final bucket of sand.
"That's great, honey," Stephanie replied. She was on her beach towel under the umbrella, lying on her stomach with her chin propped up on her arms. I had been slightly disappointed to see she was in a one-piece suit rather than a bikini, but when she noticed me looking she pointed out that she had a huge scar on her abdomen from surgery and wasn't interested to showing it to the world. She felt self-conscious enough about the scar on her left hip that was visible when she wasn't wearing shorts.
We had been in Miami for three days, enjoying the warm sun and the beach. Given how upset Stephanie had been when I had arrived in Indiana, I told my staff not to bother me and only did the bare minimum of work that was needed before Stephanie and Stella got up each morning. I wanted to focus my attention on my family that week.
Stephanie had been in a mostly good mood while we had been there, but I noticed she tended to get quiet and pensive in the evenings. I didn't know how she was sleeping because she wasn't in my bed. My Miami apartment had two bedrooms because my family in New Jersey tended to treat it as a Manoso-exclusive AirBNB whenever they came down to visit family. I had converted the office into a second bedroom and moved my office into a small alcove off the living room. She and Stella were in the second bedroom together. I had offered to let her share my bed, with the understanding that it was only because I knew sharing a bed with Stella wasn't fun, but she had declined, saying she was used to it.
She hadn't been interested in talking about how she was feeling, so the conversations had been about what to eat, where to go, what movie to watch, or what person to visit, not counting any random stories that Stella contributed. So far we had been to visit my grandmother and Julie. Both had been excited to see Stephanie and she had seemed surprised by their warm welcomes. My grandmother had heard about the incident at Celia's house, but I had told her quietly when we arrived not to bring it up because Stephanie didn't know about Silvia's tirade or the fact that I hadn't spoken to any of my family since then.
Once her sandcastle was completed, I took Stella out to play in the water while Stephanie relaxed. She hadn't wanted to go out into the water, afraid that she might lose her balance due to her bad hip. I hadn't realized how self-conscious she was about her limp until we had spent so much time in public together in Miami. I saw how hard she tried to hide it but walking on sand was more difficult. By the time we were ready to go back to the towels to dry off and get a drink, Stephanie was sitting in her chair and reading a paperback whose title I recognized.
"I read that book a while back," I mentioned as I handed Stella her drink.
"Really? My therapist loaned it to me a few weeks ago. According to him not only was my accident traumatic, but all those times I got stalked, kidnapped or almost, –"she glanced in Stella's direction before continuing in a whisper. "–killed are also considered trauma."
"I could have told you that for free," I said. "But I liked that book. I saw a lot more of myself in there than I had realized, or maybe just cared to admit."
She didn't say anything as she turned her attention back to her book, but a few seconds later I felt her reach over and give my hand a small squeeze.
An hour later we had packed up our belongings and headed back to the car as Stella sobbed that she wasn't tired and didn't need a nap. She was asleep before we finished loading the car.
Stephanie leaned her back against the seat rest and looked at peace as we drove through the city. The car I kept in Miami was a 911 Turbo Cabriolet convertible because no matter who you are there is nothing as fun as driving around Miami in a convertible. We had the top down as we headed back from the beach to the apartment at Rangeman. Stephanie didn't know it, but she and I were going out by ourselves that evening. Stella was going to have a sleepover with Julie at Rachel's while Stephanie and I went to dinner. I had only intended for Julie to babysit and we would pick her up after dinner, but Rachel had suggested she just spend the night so that we didn't have to deal with a grumpy child afterwards. I told her we could try it, but if Stella was too scared I would come to pick her up. I was thankful that the one-night stand I got pregnant in the backseat of my car at a party all those years ago was the type of person who would invite my other child into her home without reservation.
I carried Stella into the apartment and put her to bed. Stephanie told me she also wanted to lie down for a while and encouraged me to get some work done, since she knew I wasn't doing much. I let myself work until Stella woke up around three. I told her to be quiet and let her mother sleep, so we went downstairs to my office and checked in with my employees. She instantly gravitated towards Miguel Sanchez, a former gang leader who assessed new accounts for their security needs, given that he used to regularly break into houses and rob people blind. He was 6'4 and 275 lbs of pure muscle which meant most people in the office were leery of him. Stella went right up to him and asked about his tattoos and told him about her cats. I wasn't sure how Miguel felt about kids, but was surprised to see him start explaining what his tattoos meant, thankfully applying a G-rated explanation to the more explicit ones. I guess I shouldn't be surprised at her fearlessness. She was the daughter of Stephanie Plum, who once pissed off an entire gang. And she referred to Tank as Fish Tank to his face, so there was that.
After getting updated on things going on in Miami, we got back up to the apartment around four to find Stephanie awake. She was looking through the cabinets for something to eat.
"Don't eat too much," I told her. "We have dinner plans tonight."
"Oh, I didn't realize we were going anywhere," she said, grabbing a box of Wheat Thins.
"It's because you didn't know about it," I told her. "It's for your birthday, since we are going to be focusing on the other birthday girl tomorrow. She's going to a sleepover with Julie while we go out."
"Rachel's okay with Stella spending the night?" she asked, pouring out some crackers on a plate for Stella, who was suddenly starving.
"It was her idea," I said. "She didn't want us to have to deal with a cranky kid after a nice night out."
"That's nice of her. How fancy is the restaurant?" Stephanie asked. "I didn't pack anything nice to wear."
"I've seen what you packed. You'll be fine," I said, but she immediately shook her head.
"What time are we going out?" she asked.
"Our reservations are at seven. I told Rachel I would drop Stella off by six so she could eat dinner with them."
Stephanie pulled her cell phone out of her pocket. "It's a restaurant that needs reservations, so that means what I have isn't nice enough. I need to go shopping," she said. She spent a couple of minutes on her phone before telling me she needed a car. I gave her the keys to my car and told her if she wasn't back in time that I would use a fleet car to take Stella to Rachel's.
"I should be back by then," she said. "I'm just running to the mall a few blocks over."
She was out the door faster than I had seen her move in a while. I had hoped she would be excited for our night out, but that was more than I had expected. Once Stella finished her snack, I got toys and clothes packed into a backpack for her so that we would be ready when it was time to leave. I took a quick shower and began getting ready for the night. It was a hot, humid day, warm even for Miami in October, so I decided to skip a jacket and just put on a dress shirt. I hadn't been bringing my Glock with us when we went out because it felt strange to be so heavily armed when I was at the zoo or out to eat with my young child. In the past, I wouldn't have been caught dead out in public without my Glock, my back-up Smith & Wesson, and a knife. But things were different now. I wasn't sure if it was just the presence of Stella or if it was my efforts to learn to relax more in the world, but the idea of only having my S&W in an ankle-holster felt perfectly normal when I wasn't working.
Stephanie returned to the apartment just as Stella and I were heading to the elevator. She told Stella goodbye, to be good for Julie and Rachel, and said she would be getting ready while I was gone. I saw bags from at least two different stores in her hand as she disappeared into the apartment. Stella was excited to be spending time with her big sister and ran from my car to the Martines' front door when she saw Julie open it. I was grateful that Julie had gotten over her anger towards me enough to have an enthusiastic relationship with Stella. Rachel reassured me that Stella would be fine, that she had raised three kids and knew how to handle a small child, and that she would call if there were any problems.
"Thanks again," I said as she walked me back to my car. "I appreciate it. Stephanie has had a hard week, so I wanted to give her some time to relax and enjoy herself without worrying about Stella."
"No problem," she said. "Do you think you two will get back together?"
"Why? Are you interested?" I asked. "Ron might not like that."
Rachel rolled her eyes and kicked me in the shin. "Funny. But I'm serous. You two seem to be getting along pretty well considering everything that happened."
"I'm hoping that someday we do," I admitted, after briefly considering whether to tell her. "She knows that's what I want, so it's up to her if it ever happens."
"You could try talking to her more about your feelings," Rachel suggested. Now it was my turn to roll my eyes.
"Thanks, I hadn't thought of that."
"Well, if you get lucky tonight, remember to use a condom," she reminded me as I climbed into the car. "Otherwise, you're going to go bankrupt on child support."
Traffic was heavy as I headed back to Rangeman, so I called Stephanie to ask her to just meet me downstairs at the main entrance. We would need to leave from there to make it to the restaurant in time for our reservation. I could see her standing at the curb as I approached the office. She wore a dark purple dress that hit her about mid-thigh with silver sandals. It looked like the dress was a basic solid color, but there was a see-through fabric that was cut in an diagnoal line that went over the top of the dress with some rhinestones on it to help form sleeves that had slits along the shoulders. It reminded me of a short cape, but it also covered the front. I thought it was called a sheath dress or something like that. I had picked up some fashion terminology over the years as a result of having four older sisters. The only thing I knew for sure was that she took my breath away wearing it. She had her hair pulled up off her neck and wore silver dangling earrings. She carried a small silver clutch instead of her usually black shoulder bag.
"That was perfect timing," she said as she climbed into the car. "I just got down here."
I sat for a moment and took her in. "You look amazing," I told her as I moved over to kiss her cheek. She smiled and gave a short laugh.
"I can't remember the last time I got this dressed up," she said. "It may have been Connie's wedding."
I felt a small smile on my lips as I remembered that night. Her dress had ended up torn that night because we had been so enthusiastic.
She seemed to be remembering that night as well and her cheeks turned pink. She distracted herself by looking out the window at the passing buildings.
"I really like Miami," she said after a minute. "Everyone seems so carefree."
"Because they are," I commented as we hit standstill traffic. "It's hard to be too worried around here, except maybe when there's a hurricane."
The sun was low on the horizon as we arrived at the restaurant. I helped Stephanie out of the car and the valet drove away as we walked inside. I had reserved an outdoor table overlooking the water. Strings of lights hung overhead and on trees as we were shown to our table.
"I'm glad I went shopping," Stephanie said as we sat down. "You were wrong that I would have been fine with what I packed."
I shrugged. "They don't require a jacket and tie, so I don't think the dress code is very strict. But I'm not going to complain about what you're wearing."
We spent a few minutes looking over the menus and debating about what to get. Stephanie ultimately ordered lobster ravioli and I went with the salmon. The server suggested wines to go with our respective meals, but we opted for a bottle of wine we both liked.
"He probably thinks we're trash," Stephanie said as the server walked away. "He didn't seem happy with our wine order."
"I'll pay with my black AMEX so he can feel bad about judging us," I said, which made Stephanie laugh.
We talked while we ate our salads, the conversation going from Stella to various recollections of her time in bond enforcement. She told me about her therapist and how he had reacted when she told him about her time as a bounty hunter.
"Well, it wasn't a great job. I didn't do it because I liked. I did it because it was easy money," I told her. "I never could figure why you stayed in it. You went to college and could have done something a lot calmer and less dangerous."
"Dr. Bader asked me that same question," she said, pausing while the server placed out meals in front of us and asked if we needed anything else. "I told him I really didn't know, other than the freedom to do what I wanted," she continued after the server was out of earshot. "He had some theories. He thought one might be that I did it because it validated my mother's criticism of me." She hesitated and took a minute to take bite of her ravioli. "His other thought was that I did it to stay close to you. Especially after you left bond enforcement. He thought I wanted to have a reason to come to you and needing help with a skip was a good one."
"Do you think he was right?" I asked, trying not to give away much reaction as I cut into my salmon.
She thought about it as she continued to eat. "I don't know. Maybe? I don't know that I was trying to give my mother justification for criticizing me, but I think I probably did want to have to a reason to stay in contact with you. He said you sound like the type of person who struggles to maintain relationships that aren't right in front of your face, so that it may have been why I felt like it was the only way to keep you in my life. But the one thing he didn't mention was the thrill of it. Is it weird that even after everything I saw I still liked the excitement of the chase?"
"Look who you're talking to," I said. "I'm the CEO of multi-million-dollar company, but given a choice between sitting in a boardroom or being on the street, I'd still rather chase some criminal down a dark alley."
"Yeah, but you're good at that. I wasn't."
"You were better than you give yourself credit for," I told you. "You were resourceful and clever. It isn't just about physical strength or stamina."
We continued to eat in silence for a few minutes after that. I wasn't sure what to make of the idea that she may have been motivated in part to stay in bond enforcement because she wanted to still see me.
"Would I have ever seen you again if I hadn't stayed in bond enforcement?" she asked suddenly.
"I guess it depends on how long you did it," I said. "But I would have at least done a check-in every so often just so that I'd be the person you called if you got handcuffed naked to your shower again."
Stephanie poured herself a second glass of wine and shook her head. "I still can't believe that happened. I had known you all of a day or so and you get to see me naked and wet."
"Yeah, and I remembered it very well that night when I got back home," I told her. She choked on her wine and covered her mouth with her napkin.
"I'd always thought I had taken you away from someone in your bed that night when I called," she said once she had stopped coughing.
I shook my head. "Babe, you've always thought I had a more exciting sex life than I really did," I said, realizing too much that I'd just called her babe. But unlike the last time it had happened, she didn't seem upset. Just the opposite.
"Really? You weren't just saying that so I didn't grill you about it when we were together?"
I shook my head. "Nope, that was the reality of my life. Considering the first time I had one-night stand I got her pregnant, then married and divorced her in less than a year, I decided to be a little more discerning when it came to sex after that."
"And I guess there's not much sex to be had in war," she observed.
"Not really, at least none that interested me. But two of the guys I served with at one point have been together ever since they met and are married with a kid, so some people found it."
Once we had finished our entrees, the server brought us a dessert menu. Stephanie ordered tiramisu, but I just ordered coffee. She rolled her eyes at me. Somethings never changed.
"We're both having coffee, yours just has a bunch of other shit included," I pointed out.
She relaxed back in her chair and finished off her second glass of wine. "Thank you for this. It has been incredible to have a nice dinner out without having to cut up someone else's food and talk about My Little Pony at some point."
"I thought about asking your thoughts on Rainbow Dash versus Twilight Sparkle, but never found a way to put into conversation."
She laughed. "Those have to be the last words anyone would expect to come out of your mouth."
"Don't worry, it still surprises me."
Once we were back in the car, I asked her what else she would like to do. She asked me to show her around where I had lived after moving to Miami in high school. We called to check in on Stella and tell her goodnight as we headed towards Little Havana. Stella was having a blast with Julie and the other two Martine children and barely had time to talk to us. After that I spent an hour showing Stephanie around the area and telling her stories of the stupid shit I had done as a teenager.
"I used to think I was kind of rebellious," she commented after I told her about a time when I helped a couple of guys steal cigarettes and alcohol from a convenience store. "I'm little league compared to you badasses."
"Don't feel too bad about yourself," I told her. "One guy got killed in a police chase when he was nineteen and the other one is doing twenty years in federal prison. I got lucky to get out of that life."
"So sending you to live with your grandmother didn't exactly have the affect your family hoped."
"They didn't know about most of that stuff. I graduated high school and didn't end up in prison or dead. That was a success."
"Wow, those are some standards."
I shrugged. "My family didn't have much hope for me."
"How are they? Your parents and siblings, I mean," Stephanie asked as we headed out of Little Havana. "You haven't talked about them in a while, and your mother hasn't called to talk to Stella since you guys were out there in August. She used to call every couple of weeks."
I stared straight ahead, acting as though the street ahead of me was the most interesting thing in the world. "I guess they're okay. I haven't talked to them in a while."
"What happened when you and Stella were there?" she asked. "You told me you left early and didn't want to talk about what happened. When I asked Stella about the visit, she said that she heard people inside yelling before you came outside to get her."
I shook my head. "Silvia was being a bitch, trying to piss me off. And it worked. My mother did nothing to stop her and then jumped my ass when I stopped Silvia from hitting me."
"She was saying stuff about me, wasn't she?"
I didn't answer, but I didn't need to. She knew and didn't seem remotely surprised.
"I don't blame them for being mad at me," she said as I headed back towards downtown. "I kept them from her too. I've never been able to understand why you haven't been angrier at me."
I pulled the car over and parked beside a fenced-in yard that was connected to a nursing home. It was the same nursing home where my grandfather had lived his last few months.
"I was angry at you," I told her. "Beyond pissed when I first learned about Stella, but then I saw you in the hospital and some of it went away. Even though I was hurt that you had deprived me of even knowing about her and being in her life for the first three years, I knew it would have been much worse if you had died."
A tear fell down Stephanie's cheek and she wiped her nose with the back of her hand. "You are the topic of conversation in probably sixty percent of my counseling sessions," she said as she turned to face me in her seat. "Either about my relationship and feelings towards you or your relationship with Stella. Dr. Bader has had me working on figuring out how I feel. I kept telling myself that I had to get over you and that I could only do that if I had space. When I finally accepted that I'm not going to get over you because I love you, I had a list of questions that I said I would need answered before I could even consider a future with you."
She chuckled slightly and wiped at her eyes. "So he made me go through the list and asked me to guess what the answers might be, then what I wanted the answers to be, and finally he would always ask me if there were any sort of deal breakers in those questions. And I always said no. Last session he pointed out to me that all those questions are just me procrastinating on what needs to be done. I asked him what that was, but he said it was something I had to figure out for myself. And I think I finally figured it out," she said, her voice becoming barely audible as she fought to keep herself composed. "I've never apologized to you for anything that happened. The hard part is I feel like I need to start with when I left. Because I think I said some terrible things, but I can't remember. The accident messed up some of my memories. I've lost some things that happened in the last ten years or so. It's like I know they happened, but I can't remember the details."
I sat for a moment, bringing up the memories of the night she left. I had always known that Stephanie knew me better than anyone, but I had still believed until that night that I had kept some things to myself. It wasn't until she was walking out the door that I realized she had seen my insecurities and knew exactly where to punch. The memories of that night were painful and a small part of me felt angry with her that she couldn't remember the pain she had inflicted. But the guilty look on her face made the anger go away. It wasn't her fault that she couldn't remember.
"I know it's a lot to ask, but would you tell me what happened?" she asked. "I know I can sit here and apologize, but if I don't know what I'm apologizing for it feels like I can't really mean it, you know?"
I nodded. "I get it. Are you sure you want to do this?"
"Only if you're willing. You don't owe it to me," she said. But I could sense her unspoken words that she wouldn't be able to forgive herself without the whole story. And not being able to forgive yourself could be a whole lot more damaging than not being able to forgive someone else.
I ran a finger over the emblem on the steering wheel. "I don't remember exactly everything you said," I lied. Her exact words had played in my head on repeat for weeks after she'd left, but I didn't want to bring that up. "But the things that hurt the most were how you told me that I was incapable of loving anything that could love me back. That I tried to fill my life with money and control so that I didn't have to feel anything or get close to anyone. You said I was pathetic and miserable and that someday I'd be all alone because I had pushed everyone away. That it was no wonder I didn't really have friends and hadn't been in any serious relationships in years because no one wants to be around someone so heartless."
Stephanie covered her mouth with her hand as she cried. Part of me wanted to reach out and touch her, but it was stopped by the part of me that still hurt from that night.
"You told me that you hated me, that you never wanted to see me again. You regretted ever thinking there was a future between us and that you had just wasted almost a year of your life. You told me to leave you alone and then you left."
Stephanie continued to cry and turned away from me while she reached in her clutch for a small packet of tissues. She wiped at tears and blew her nose and took a few minutes to pull herself together. She hiccupped slightly as she turned back to face me.
"Thank you for telling me," she said quietly. She was having hard time looking me in the eye. She shook her head in disbelief.
"I can't believe how horrible I was," she muttered, more to herself than to me. "I'm sorry for saying all of those things, Ranger," she said, finally bringing herself to look me in the eye. "I know those things aren't true about you. I don't know exactly why I said them, but I'm guessing I just wanted to hurt you. I don't know for sure, but I wonder if I suspected I was pregnant and that's why I asked you about getting married. But that doesn't make anything I said acceptable. And I'm sorry that I never told you about Stella. I should have come home as soon as I learned I was pregnant. I had all sorts of reasons for why I didn't, but they were just excuses. It wasn't fair to you or Stella. I know I took things away from the both of you that you can never get back," she said as the tears started to fall again.
"And someday I'll have to tell her that I lied to her and kept her away from her father for the first three years of her life. I hope she doesn't hate me for it, but I can't blame her if she does. And it was wrong of me to make you leave this summer. It wasn't my place to tell you that you couldn't stay in Indiana or that you couldn't visit until I was ready. My biggest reason for not wanting to tell you about her was because I didn't want you to be as disconnected from her as you were with Julie, but I went ahead and set it up that way myself."
Over the last few months, I had told myself that I had forgiven Stephanie for everything, and for the most part I had. But hearing her apology and the genuine remorse behind it was something I hadn't realized I needed. I reached over and held her hand.
"Thank you," I said quietly. "I forgave you a while ago, but it was good to hear you say that. Now are you going to be able to forgive yourself?"
She squeezed my hand and sniffed. "Maybe. I don't know."
"It's important that you do," I said. "Because if you don't it's always going to get in your way. It'll affect your relationship with Stella. It'll come between us. And I don't want anything in between us anymore."
"You don't even like clothes in between us," she joked.
"I thought I was the one who deflected serious shit with innuendo," I replied.
She sighed and took her hand out of mine to get out a fresh tissue. "You're right. I know you are. I'll work on it, I promise."
"Good," I said. I started the car and put the top up. The temperature had dropped while we had been talking and I could see goosebumps on Stephanie's leg. I pulled away from the curb and headed back towards downtown once again.
"If this security stuff doesn't work out, you could be a counselor," Stephanie said. "You seem to know the right things to say."
I laughed. "I'd be falling right into the stereotype that people going into psychology do it to fix themselves. I'm too fucked up to be giving anyone mental health advice."
"Maybe it's because people who have struggled and come out the other side can understand what others are going through," she observed. "I'd rather have someone who has been through some shit to give me advice than some Pollyanna who never had a bad day."
I understood that. "Has Dr. Bader been through some shit?"
"His parents were Holocaust survivors," she said. "He grew up surrounded by them in the Netherlands. He said some people learned to live mostly normal lives while some just survived. He said some people lived the rest of their lives with their bodies in Amsterdam and their souls stuck in Auschwitz. Some of them never learned to trust or be happy again and because of that he knew he wanted to help people."
I held her hand as we drove the rest of the way back to Rangeman in silence. I didn't know what she was thinking about, but I was thinking about the absence of a weight in my chest that I hadn't realized existed until it was gone.
I pulled into my parking spot at Rangeman twenty minutes later, but neither of us moved to get out of the car.
"I love you," Stephanie said quietly as she traced the outline of my hand in hers.
I leaned over the console and put my other hand on her cheek as I pressed my lips to hers. Kissing her felt as right as anything could. It had been nearly five years since our last kiss, but we were as in sync as if it had been five minutes ago. I pulled away a couple of minutes later as I felt myself getting hard. I readjusted before I got out of the car and walked around to open her door. I knew we were on camera, so I tried to be as casual as possible as we walked towards the elevator, but I had wanted to just pick her and sprint. We didn't say anything as we took the elevator up twenty-three excruciatingly long floors. I opened the door to the apartment and shut it quickly behind us. We tried to get to the bedroom, but made it as far as the couch, leaving a trail of clothes in our wake. It didn't take long for us both to be satisfied.
Once we were finished, I spent the next few minutes exploring every inch of her body. I hadn't seen her naked in a long time, and her body had changed. I saw the faint signs of stretch marks from pregnancy and weight gain. The dark scar on her lower chest and abdomen from the surgery needed after the accident was probably ten inches long. There was another scar on her hip, but it was considerably smaller.
"Stop," she said, trying to cover herself as I traced my finger down her body. "We should be in total darkness for this part."
"But then I couldn't see you as well," I said as I kissed her.
"That's the whole point," she replied. "It's not a pretty picture these days."
"Looks pretty good to me."
She rolled her eyes. "You're just saying that so I'll do it again."
"I'm saying it because I mean it. I do this," I said as I put a hand between her legs and began stroking. "So you'll do it again."
We made it to the bedroom for the second round of sex, which was slower and the way we both liked it best. We spent the rest of the night alternating between conversation and sex. We didn't feel like two people in our late thirties who had been through hell together. It reminded me of the first night we had slept together all those years ago in Trenton.
I turned off my normal alarm, which went off at five, but set one for seven. Rachel would be dropping Stella off to Rangeman at seven-thirty because Julie had a soccer game in Fort Lauderdale at ten. We finally got to sleep around five-thirty and I heard Stephanie groan when the alarm went off.
"Stay in bed," I said and kissed her shoulder. I got dressed and made coffee while I waited. Rachel texted at seven-thirty on the dot that she was almost to Rangeman. I called down to the control room and told them to admit her to the parking garage and was stepping off the elevator as Rachel's minivan pulled up next to my car.
"Did Ron get to sleep in?" I asked as Rachel got out of the van to unload Stella.
"No, he got called to fix an air conditioner," she replied. "He's going to meet us there."
"Hi, Daddy!" Stella said. She was always so excited to see me. I never wanted it to stop. "I had fun at Julie's."
"I'm glad to hear it," I said. I slung her backpack over one shoulder and took the car seat from Rachel.
"Did you take my advice?" she asked quietly as she closed the sliding door.
The look I gave her must have told her everything she needed to know.
"You just can't help yourself," she said laughing. "You'd better start preparing Stella for a little brother or sister."
"Don't you have a soccer game to go to?" I asked.
Stella and I waved as the van pulled out of the garage and we headed back up to the apartment.
"Mommy's still sleeping, so play quietly," I told her.
"Okay," she said, but as soon as we reached the apartment she went running for her room.
"Where's Mommy?" she asked when she came out of the spare room a second later.
"She's sleeping in my room," I said. I was about to tell her not to go in there, but she ran to the door and opened it before I could get the words out.
I followed her in there to find her standing next to the bed whispering "Hi, Mommy."
"Hi, Stella," Stephanie whispered back, not opening her eyes.
"Where are your pajamas?" she asked. Stephanie's eyes opened and she looked down at herself. She was only covered in with a sheet and that only went up to her hip.
"Um, I forgot to put them on," she said, taking a second to come up with a reason. "I was so tired that I got undressed, but then forgot to put on my pajamas."
"Why are you sleeping in Daddy's bed?"
Why did four-year-olds have to be so fucking curious?
"Let's go out to the living room," I suggested. "We can talk about what we're going to do today for your birthday."
Mention of her birthday took her attention away from Stephanie's naked body and she followed me out to the living room. I heard the shower running a few minutes later while I started making breakfast. We were going to my grandmother's house to celebrate Stella's birthday that evening. My grandmother owned a bakery and even though she was supposed to be retired she still baked for family and close friends.
"Happy birthday, Mommy!" she said when Stephanie came out to join us in the kitchen. She was limping noticeably and I couldn't help but smile a little.
"Rough night?" I asked her.
"Happy birthday, Stella," Stephanie said as she hugged our daughter and discreetly gave me the finger. "I can't believe you're a whole four years old today."
We sat down to breakfast while Stella told us about what she did at the Martines' house. They had apparently played in the pool after dinner, then watched a movie, played hide and seek, and it didn't sound like Stella had stopped until she literally dropped.
"I've got this," I told Stephanie as she started to clear her dishes. "It's your birthday too."
I kissed her as I took the plates to the sink. "Can I get the keys to the car?" she asked. "I need to run to CVS."
"I can go," I said. "What do you need?"
"I need to pick up Plan B since we didn't use–," she trailed off when she noticed Stella's intently listening to our conversation. "Um, those things we should have last night. We don't need to add any members to our situation here."
"Good point," I said. "The keys are on the table by the door. And, uh, pick up some of those things while you're there."
She gave me a confused look. "What, do you think you're going to have an opportunity to need them again?" I gave her a playful smack on the ass as she walked away, making her laugh.
After a very long day at the aquarium, we headed towards my grandmother's house. One of my aunts along with a couple of my cousins and their families would be there as well. Everyone was looking forward to my grandmother's cooking and baking, despite us insisting that she not do too much. But being eighty-five hadn't slowed my grandmother down even a little.
After dinner the kids were sent outside to play while we forced my grandmother into the living room so we could clean up. My cousin Lisa kept going outside to check in on the kids to make sure no one was doing something stupid. Having been the one doing most of the stupid stuff when we were kids, she was well aware of the insane ideas kids could come up with when left alone too long.
Lisa's husband, Phil, and our cousin Rosa were sitting in the living room with my grandmother while Stephanie and my aunt Mariana sat at the kitchen table. Lisa, Mariana, and I were taking care of clean up because my grandmother was very particular about how her kitchen looked and since we had all lived with her at points in our lives we knew exactly where everything went. I was drying the last of the dishes and putting them in the cabinet when Lisa came back inside laughing. She wiped a tear out of her eye and leaned again the counter.
"Oh, that kid of yours," she said. "She's telling all of your secrets."
"What secrets?" Phil asked as he came into the kitchen.
"Stella was asking me what a Plan B was, and I was trying to tell her that it was a secondary plan when your first one doesn't go well, but then she told me her Mommy went to buy one this morning, so I realized we weren't talking about the same thing," Lisa said, barely able to get the words out. "I asked what else had happened this morning and she said Mommy forgot her pajamas last night when she slept in Daddy's bed."
"Oh my God!" Stephanie cried and she buried her face in her hands. I burst out laughing.
"She can't remember where she took her shoes off, but she can remember Plan B," Stephanie said, her cheeks pink. "Why does she have to talk so much?"
"She's your kid," I said. "You know I don't tell anything."
Stephanie gave me the finger and laid her head on the table while Phil, Lisa and Mariana kept laughing.
"What's so funny?" my grandmother asked as she walked into the kitchen.
"Nothing's funny," Stephanie said, her voice muffled by her arms. "Nothing at all."
"Don't," I said to Lisa. I didn't care if my grandmother knew I had sex last night, but I knew Stephanie was mortified and I didn't want her to be any more uncomfortable that she already was.
"Nothing, Abuela. Just something funny Stella said. You know how little kids are," Lisa said, turning back to counters to finish clean up.
Seeing Stephanie's head buried on the table, my grandmother put the situation together. "Oh, mija, I understand," she said, putting a hand on Stephanie's back. "Trust me, I had to tell my six grown children, who already had twelve children of their own, that was I pregnant at forty-eight over Christmas dinner. You'll laugh about this one day soon."
Stephanie lifted her head off the table. "How did you not jump off a bridge?"
My grandmother shrugged. "I was in shock. I kept telling myself it couldn't be true. I only accepted reality when I gave birth in the car on the way to the hospital."
Mariana nodded. "It's why I love cars and need lots of therapy."
She wasn't wrong. The family still laughed sometimes about how my grandmother was forced to announce she was three-and-a-half months pregnant when my mother announced she was pregnant with me. Apparently everyone except the pregnant women had gotten complete shit faced and they had all been forced to spent the night at my uncle Julio's house because they were too drunk to drive. Mariana and I had spent our high school years being teased by our friends about being aunt and nephew.
Stella adored her birthday cake, which spilled out candy when you cut it open. She had been delighted with every single gift she'd received and as soon as they were opened the kids were back outside playing with them.
"Let's take a walk," I told Stephanie once we had cleaned up for the second time. I told my family we were going on a walk around the neighborhood and would be back soon.
"Don't forget the Plan B," Lisa called out. It was my turn to give someone the finger.
We held hands as we walked around my grandmother's neighborhood. It was filled with many older people like herself who had continued to live in the houses where they had raised their children. Unlike my grandmother, most of them lived there with grown children who had raised their own children in those houses. My grandmother had cherished the quiet after Mariana and I had graduated and left for college.
"I've had fun today," Stephanie said. "Besides Stella spilling the beans that she found me naked in your bed."
"I'm sure they all assumed that was happening anyway," I told her. There was a small park around the corner from my grandmother's house. A couple of younger kids were swinging on the chain swings and a couple of older kids were hiding behind the slide smoking something.
"I have something for you," I said, pulling a small box out of my pocket and handing it to her.
"My family has a tradition that when your first child is born you give the mother a piece of jewelry with their birthstone," I told her as she opened the box. Inside was a ring with a white opal set in a rose gold band. The design on the band created a small X on either side of the opal and small diamonds were set inside the four open spaces of each X. "I never did that with Rachel when she had Julie. I didn't really care about the tradition back then and didn't think it really applied to the one-night stand I knocked up. But I wanted to do it for you."
Stephanie took the ring out of the box and placed it on the ring finger of her right hand. "I love it," she said. She pulled me close and kissed me. I heard someone walking by wolf-whistle, but neither of us paid attention.
"Thank you," she said as we broke apart.
"Happy birthday, babe."
A/N: My muse is determined to get this story finished! We have a couple more chapters to go.