"So… Snape!" This statement came from Ginny Weasley. The redhead was in a state of shock and contemplation. She was seated across from Hermione Granger who just decided to drop a bomb on her. And Hermione wasn't sure if that was an exaggeration.
They were just having a relaxing day at Grimmauld Place and the boys were out for the day doing who knows what. It was just after dinner and they decided to have a glass of wine when Hermione couldn't hold it in anymore. She had been toying with the idea for several weeks but there was never an opportunity. Until today. She knew that she would have to tell her friends about Severus eventually but she had put it off for personal and practical reasons. But now it was getting to the point where she doesn't want to hide such an important aspect of her life. Not to her friends. But she was realistic and knew that their reactions were probably not going to be the most accepting and decided to tell everyone individually instead of in a group. And the first person she decided to tell was Ginny. Who she expected to have a more tamed reaction in comparison to Harry and Ron. And Ginny's current silence was highly anticipated and wanted. Hermione thought about pouring something a little stronger but figured that this was hard enough as it is. It would be even harder if she had to do this all over again if Ginny got so drunk that she forgot this entire conversation.
Ginny seemed to come out of her silence only to say, "Sorry I'm still processing here."
It wasn't until a few minutes of Ginny contemplating and making a few funny faces and Hermione taking a few more sips of her drink before they could actually have a proper conversation. "So let me get this straight. You're telling me that you, Hermione Granger, have been dating Severus Snape. The snarky bastard, overgrown bat of the dungeons, the guy who was our professor. Who is 40 something, as old as your father; Snape. Secretly, for the past 8 months?" Ginny asked clarifying to ensure she didn't miss anything.
"Yep, that pretty much sums it up," Hermione said, hoping that Ginny was taking everything in stride.
She knew that for Ginny she just dropped it out of the left field. One minute they were discussing Neville becoming the new Herbology professor and then the next, she spilled my deepest darkest secret.
"Okay, we will move on and pretend that you announcing that you have been dating someone for 8 months is normal. But this is Snape we are talking about, not some random guy you ran into at the bookstore. I've got about a thousand questions here. How? When? Were you drunk? Who else knows?'"
Hermione cut her off pretty quickly mid-way through her rambling. "No one knows. Not even Harry or Ron. If they did, don't you think they would have spilled it to you while they went on an angry rant by now?"
Ginny tilted her head in agreement. She knew that Hermione had a point. But that barely explained anything.
Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Not telling her about this seemed to be more shocking than the actual secret itself for her. The whole situation was ridiculous from an outsider's point of view. In hindsight, this was probably in the top three of the most scandalous things Hermione had ever done. She was currently unsure if it goes before or after breaking out of Gringotts on a dragon. She at least seems to be accepting it well, if not a little eager to get all of the details.
"It's complicated." Hemione sighed suddenly weary. She just realized what telling Ginny would actually entail.
"Try me," she challenged with an arched brow. Hermione couldn't help but sigh. Ginny could be like a dog with a bone. Most days it could be a blessing but right now she wasn't sure.
"At first it was because I wasn't sure what was happening between us. If it was just an infatuation or if there was a possibility of it becoming more. I wanted to let some time pass between us so we could figure things out without interference from others. Or rather other people's influence. This was between me and him and we wanted to keep it between us. At least for a little while. There was no point in me telling anyone in case it just crashed and burned a month later." And that was a real possibility. Despite the similarities between her and Severus. Some of their personality traits could clash. The both of them were venturing into unknown territory and anything could happen. Good or bad. And thankfully it has been pretty good for both of them. Though Ginny doesn't need to know all of those details. "That's one of the reasons I haven't told Harry or Ron yet. They will freak out. And that's an understatement. Then they would probably take me to St, Mungos. Thinking that I've been placed under a love potion or the imperious. And then when they realize that I am with him willing and of a clear mind they will think that I'm crazy and consorting with the enemy and hate me forever." That may be an exaggeration but how could she be sure? Harry and Ron both had bad tempers and could hold a grudge when they were in a stubborn mood. She did too. And this is why she assumed the worst.
Ginny pondered this for a few moments before replying, "So enough time has passed between the two of you for you to figure out your feelings then?" Hermione couldn't help but smile at that. Ginny wasn't truly asking if enough time had passed. She just wanted to know about her feelings. "Is it serious then?"
"Yes, things are…..intense between us." For lack of a better word. But it does sum up everything between her and Severus in a singular word.
"Hermione, are you in love with him?" Ginny asked almost hesitantly, unsure if she wanted to know the answer or if she was unsure of how to ask such a powerful question delicately.
She was hoping to avoid that question but she was not given that much luck. She didn't reply but her silence spoke volumes.
"What is it about him? What could have possibly driven you towards a relationship with Snape of all people? I mean, I know that he is a good guy now, but he was our professor for merlin's sake," she was clearly confused and it was understandable. It honestly doesn't make sense. She and Severus Snape.
It's not like he is black and she is white or she's nice and he is rude. They weren't exactly opposites. But they did complement one another. Their minds inspired and challenged their intelligence. He was tall and intimidating and she was short, kind and inviting. He enjoyed the quietness of the shadows and she enjoyed the warmth of the sun. She was friendly and he was antisocial. He was serious and yet she found him slightly humorous. She was gentle and he was more on the rough side. And she wasn't referring to their intimacy more so their interactions with one another. And yet somehow it works.
She could hear the unspoken question in the tone of Ginny's voice. "It's not like I had any feelings for him when he was my professor nor did he have any for me. So you can get your head out of the gutter Ginny Weasley," Hermione said this with a mocking stern look on her face, hoping to deter the upcoming seriousness this conversation was heading towards. "He is utterly bewitching if that doesn't sound stupid. He is incredibly intelligent and sometimes it's a struggle for me to even keep up with him. He is the bravest and the most loyal man I have ever met. He has a protective streak in him but is often so controlled over his words and actions. Everything is thought out in advance. He is often sarcastic but has a teasing playful side to him, as well as has a dry sense of humour." In a way, she found his sense of humour funny. Most people found him disturbed but for her, it was fuelled by his knowledge. It was just another way he was able to keep her on her toes when others would dull and bore her. He was able to stay on the same level as her. When she was used to having to lower her interests and knowledge to suit others. It was like they were speaking the same language. "Passionate is another word I would use to describe him. At first, I thought he was different, that the war changed him as it did with the rest of us. But that wasn't the case, he has always been like this, for the most part, he was just always so closed off and guarded that he never let anyone see the good in him. Not like I was in any position since I was his student. Make no mistake he is still aloof, cold and jagged. He can be a right bastard some of the time. He can be distant, shut people out and will lash out at others when angered. But I know he will never hurt me. Parts of him, especially his past, are still a mystery to me. But I've always liked learning new things." She knew what it looked like. Like she was heads over heels in love with him. And maybe she was right.
Ginny then leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest, with a knowing look on her face. They had both finished their wine a while back and they both were too absorbed in the conversation for anything else but gossip.
"I know it doesn't make any sense."
"When you put it like that I can almost see why you would go for a guy like. Maybe if I saw it I would understand better and if I squinted." Ginny had her head propped up on her arm as she was completely enthralled in conversation. The nice thing about her was that even though she had questions she would wait for her to finish before she continued with the interrogation. Ginny was a great friend. The bold and brave woman was also a great listener and empathetic. She also was very open and not judgemental. "So what is he like with you, what do you two even do for dates?"
"I know that this sounds contradictory but with him, every interaction is controlled and yet completely unrestrained. There is a comfort with him and yet he challenges me to do better and pushes me past my boundaries." That was probably the first thing that surprised Hermione when they first began a romantic relationship. Many aspects of it were easy and fell into place. There were of course a few complications but nothing explosive. Though there was one aspect of their relationship that was explosive. But she was going to keep that to herself. She knew that Ginny would want to hear all of the dirty sex details. And unfortunately Ginny had no problem telling others about it. Hermione now knew a little too much about her friends. Of course, there was the fact that Severus wouldn't want others to know about that aspect of their personal lives. Hermione fully respected that. "Some nights we will talk for hours about academics and theories. We will be in his lab, I will be working on some arithmancy equations and he is developing a new potion. We even swap ideas and sometimes he uses them. He hates my cooking." Hermione just decided to ignore the way that Ginny's shoulders shook with silent laughter. It was unanimously decided that Hermione was ejected from the kitchen when any meal was being made. "I will sit on the edge of the counter and watch while he cooks. He walks me through the process step by step. But he refuses to let me help." Though she pretended to be annoyed with him at the moment, they both knew she enjoyed just sitting back and watching him work.
"Sometimes I catch him fiddling with a piece of charcoal when he thinks I'm not looking. I know that he sketches but most of the time he won't show me his work. He has no shame in discussing his potions or admitting that he likes art. But actually showing others his art was always a line he wasn't willing to cross. It was too personal." It was such a shame that he had to hide so much of himself from the world. But she was glad that she got the chance to be involved in his world. "But this one time he was so immersed in his work and he was rooting through some of his books. And his sketchbook fell open. He hesitated when he noticed my gaze then resumed his work. The drawing was of me. He must have started it when I fell asleep on the couch reading this new fantasy novel my mom gave me a few nights before. It was incredible how well done it was. The shading and contrast. Then it was the fact that he drew me, he took the time to study and simply look at me. Truly observing every aspect of myself. I never looked or felt more beautiful." She knew that she seemed lost in a daydream. But she couldn't help but reminisce. The way he looked so intently at her as she took in the image. The unasked question as he waited with anticipation and nervousness to see if she liked it. Liked was an understatement. She loved it and framed it for her study. And of course, the lovemaking after was incredible. A little sign of her appreciation. "Oh, it's kind of funny, this one time we stopped by here when no one was home so I could go upstairs and grab a couple of things. When I came back down, Crookshanks was with him. And you know how Crookshank hates most people. He was practically rubbing himself on Severus as if he was catnip and Severus was indulging him. It was simply adorable," Hermione said all of this adoringly. Reminiscing about the memories.
"Well if Crookshanks approves, then it's good enough for me," Ginny said, accepting this with far more ease than Hermione expected. "You sound happy"
"I am happy." The thought still surprises her sometimes. She spent so long trying to be this storm-independent woman. She always denied the idea of needing a man. But she never considered the possibility of having someone in her life as a partner. How good it would feel being loved and in love.
"Well, I wouldn't be the supportive friend I am if I didn't ask. How is the sex?" she asked bluntly.
"Ginny!" Hermione exclaimed. Though she couldn't help but roll her eyes at her friend's predictability. It was nice that they were able to transition from the seriousness of the conversation to a more light-hearted talk.
"Don't Ginny me. I want some details. Is he a leather or lace kind of guy?" She had a shit-eating grin on her face when she asked this. Hermione had to hold back from retorting that he preferred neither and just plainly enjoyed her being naked.
"I don't kiss and tell, unlike you. I will say that I have absolutely no complaints. And when I'm with him, it's explosive." She wasn't referring to just the sex, she was also talking about the relationship as a whole. It was truly consuming.
They continued to talk for hours about random stuff, occasionally talking about Severus. Neither, Ginny nor her, told the boys what they discussed when they returned. Hermione telling them was a job for another day. She was simply enjoying the evening with her friends. When her thoughts turned to Severus, which has become a much more common occurrence. Ginny's voice echoed throughout her head. "Hermione, are you in love with him?"
And the verbal answer that she never gave was yes.