Enter for the International Wizarding School Competition – Round 4 - Beauxbatons

Theme: Spare: Write about trusting someone completely.

Year 3

Mandatory prompt: 15. [Word] Honour

Optional prompts used: 8. [Image] Portrait of Madame X by John Singer Sargent

Special rule: None

Word count: 2,291

Warnings: AU No Voldemort | Canon Divergence

broken trust

'You're the only one I trust to take care of her while I'm away. I know you'll protect her with your life,' James had said to Sirius before going on his undercover mission. The last time Sirius had seen James was six weeks ago, and he couldn't help but think about James every time he looked at Lily.

Caring for Lily was supposed to be simple. Sirius just needed to spend some time with her to ensure she wasn't feeling lonely or she didn't need anything; having never spent any time alone with her, Sirius had thought it would be easy, but he hadn't imagined his feelings would take a turn so quickly.

"Are you alright, Siri? You're a little pale," Lily asked, concerned. "Did something happen?"

And that was the truth of the matter, wasn't it? He wasn't supposed to fall in love with the girl that everyone thought was James's girl.

"Everything is fine, belle fleur. Nothing to worry about." Sirius winked at her; his insides warmed when her cheeks tinged pink at the term of endearment. "I just had a long day, and I'm a little exhausted."

"Do you want to take a nap? The guest room is clean, and I know you don't like to sleep at your flat by yourself." Lily smiled, and Sirius couldn't help but smile back.

It was the little things that had made him fall for her: the way she was so caring towards him, how she was always offering him a shoulder to cry on when he needed someone to talk to, or to not saying anything, the way her laughter made him feel better whenever he listened to it or made her laugh.

Sirius had fallen in love with the freckles on her nose, wanting to connect them like constellations. He'd fallen in love with her soft, kissable lips and delicate jaw, that made him want to kiss and never stop. He'd fallen in love with how passionate about everything she talked about, and how she wanted to be happy.

Sirius looked at her, trying not to get lost in her eyes. "Thanks, Lil, I appreciate it." Sirius tried not to think about how he wanted nothing more than for her to sleep by his side. "I'll stay tonight. I'm so tired. It's like I can't slow my mind long enough to fall asleep."

Understanding crossed over her face, and Lily smiled and motioned for him to follow after her. Sirius already knew the way to the room—having slept over many times when he got too drunk with James and couldn't Apparate safely—but he still trailed after her.

They had almost reached the guest bedroom when Lily began fidgeting with her sleeves. "This may sound weird, but why don't you move in? Temporarily, I mean?

"I know James asked you to take care of me, and this would be a good way for you to do it. It's been six weeks. Who knows how long he'll be gone?"

Sirius's eyes widened as he stopped in the middle of the hallway.

He was torn; part of him wanted to say yes, if it meant he would be near Lily more often. His one bedroom flat was too quiet, too silent, and imagining Lily livening the place up with her enthusiasm and zest for life was the only thing that got him through the nights. Every morning, he couldn't wait to get back to Lily's place, hoping she had made him breakfast and was there to greet him with a brilliant smile. James had asked him to protect Lily, and what had he done? He'd gone and fallen in love with his best friend's girl. Where was the honour in that? Where did his loyalties lie?

But on the other hand, he didn't want to move in, not if it meant he and Lily would get closer and she may start to feel the same—one could only hope (or dread). The thought of hurting James terrified Sirius.

"Your idea has some merits, belle fleur, but I don't think it would be wise, you know? People talk, and I don't want your honour to suffer just because I can't sleep alone. I'm a big boy already; I can deal with it."

Sirius looked up when Lily snorted and saw her fighting a smile. "Sirius, I'm a Muggle-born who caught the attention of one of the most respectable purebloods out there. People will always talk; I don't mind."

She was telling the truth, but what caught Sirius's attention was the fact she hadn't said she was James's girlfriend. That little omission meant something to him; he just didn't know what yet.

"If you're so sure, I can't argue with you, can I?" Sirius chuckled.

Sirius decided to move into Lily and James's house that same afternoon; he was wary at first, but after a few days, he felt at home already. He was scared of how at ease he felt, but Lily always made sure he was comfortable.

"This is going to be your house for the foreseeable future, Sirius, you should feel at home here." Lily always knew when he was in one of his pensive moods, and she always managed to talk him out of it.

Sirius couldn't help but fall more in love with her every day. "I still feel weird sometimes. But it will pass soon, don't worry."

Lily smiled at him, and Sirius decided to take a risk; he was a Marauder, and it was his instinct to act first and think later.

He saw the way Lily started trusting him; how she would talk about her childhood in a Muggle neighbourhood and how her life with her sister was like before and after Hogwarts. Sirius never realised he too began to trust her, sharing with her all of his demons when he shared everything about what it was like growing up as a Black, with all those expectations, and how he felt like he never belonged.

On one of his days off, he ventured into Muggle London and entered the first boutique he saw. Something in the window had caught his attention, and he decided to buy it.

The dress had jewelled straps, with a sweetheart neckline and a fitted waist. It was a black velvet, floor-length dress—something that would make a woman feel like a lady when she wore it. It would be perfect against Lily's fair skin, and Sirius couldn't stop imagining how she would look wearing it.

"You bought me a dress?" Lily asked when he returned to the house. "It isn't my birthday, Sirius. Why would you buy me something?"

Sirius shrugged. "I saw it in the window of a shop and thought you would like it." When Lily blushed, Sirius decided to try something bold. "Would you like to go out for dinner with me tonight? You could wear your new dress."

Lily bit her lip; it was almost Sirius's undoing. "Sure, I would love to. Is seven alright?"

"Sure, whatever you want, mon ange," Sirius replied, smiling shamelessly when she blushed again. "I'll see you later, then."

It wasn't supposed to happen this way. Sure, he had bought her a dress—and it was a gorgeous dress—and taken her out for dinner, but it was just as friends. And yes, they'd had a few glasses of wine alongside their meal, but it didn't mean anything. Sirius had helped Lily return to the house, and if his touch had lingered for longer than was acceptable, who was to blame?

He didn't know who had made the first move, who had kissed whom first, but he hadn't complained one bit. Not even when he had rid her of her dress and seen she'd looked just as amazing out of it as she had in it.

They weren't supposed to fall into bed together. What was he going to say to James? Sirius was the worst human being on the planet.

"Do you regret it?" Lily asked in a small voice, with her head on his chest; Sirius's heart clenched because he didn't regret it one bit. How low could he go? "Because if you're wondering, I was right there with you, and I don't regret anything."

"I don't regret what happened between us… I just feel like I broke James's trust, and I don't think he's ever going to forgive me." Sirius couldn't look at Lily, afraid of what he would see there.

Sirius couldn't help but think about what James would feel if he ever discovered what he and Lily were doing. The thought of hurting James haunted him until Lily made him forget.

"Sirius, look at me." When Sirius denied her request, she grabbed his chin and forced him to look in her eyes. "James and I weren't in a good place before he went on his mission. We haven't been in sync for a while; it seemed everything I did was wrong, and he never wanted to talk with me about it.

"Sometimes, I feel like James was with me just because he chased me for so long and didn't want to let go. Do you think I would have fallen for you if I was still in love with him?"

Sirius's heart almost beat out of his chest when he heard her say what he'd been dying to hear for the past few weeks. He cradled Lily's face and kissed her with all the feelings he had inside, trying to convey everything in just a kiss.

"No matter what happens, know that we'll figure this out together." Lily looked at him, as if begging him to understand her, and Sirius would make sure he was there for her.

"I know, mon ange. I just worry, that's all." Sirius didn't let her think about what he meant, kissing her again and preparing to lose himself in her body once more.

Seeing James in front of him after so long threw Sirius off for a moment. He didn't know if he should hug his old friend or throw himself at his feet and beg for forgiveness.

"Padfoot! I'm so glad you're here!" James said, hugging Sirius, who stood unmoving, not knowing what to do. "Did you take care of Lily like I asked you to?"

Sirius winced without meaning to, and James frowned; James could always tell when something was wrong, but Sirius didn't want to have this conversation with him now. Sirius was still surprised that James had appeared in the living room out of nowhere, after not having heard anything from him for the last two weeks.

"Hey, Prongs, how was the mission? I know you can't tell me anything about it, but how was it? Did you manage to complete your assignment? Did someone get hurt? Why didn't you tell me you were coming home?" Sirius babbled, and judging by the suspicious glint in James's eyes, his best friend wasn't buying his act.

"Sirius? What happened? You only babble like a Bludger is coming your way when you're afraid of telling me something," James asked with the same frown on his face.

Sirius was saved from saying anything when Lily walked into the living room. If she was surprised to see James, she didn't say anything or was a better actress than Sirius had thought.

"James! You came back!" Lily said with a smile, but Sirius could see it was forced. "Why didn't you tell us you were coming back?"

"Pads just said the same thing to me," James said, glancing between Lily and Sirius. "What are you two hiding from me?"

Lily blanched. James took a step back and looked at them again before his features hardened.

"Tell me you didn't," James croaked out, his voice harsh. Lily stepped back, and Sirius moved towards her. James's eyes narrowed in on their action, and he demanded, "Are you kidding me? How could you both betray my trust like that?"

Sirius didn't know what to do or say; no matter what Lily would say, he still felt like he was hurting James.

"We didn't mean to; it just happened." Lily tried to make James see reason, but James wasn't listening to them.

"Yeah, right." James's sarcasm was thick, and Sirius was more afraid now than he had ever been before. "'It just happened'—like I would ever believe that."

"It's true, Prongs!" Sirius implored. He could see their relationship being forever broken, and it killed Sirius that he had been the cause. "We would never do anything to hurt you. I wouldn't have come near her if you hadn't asked me to take care of her."

James's face reddened. He spat, "Oh, so this is all my fault? That's rich coming from someone like you, Sirius. And Lily? I thought our relationship meant something to you. Being your boyfriend wasn't enough? How could you do this to me? To us? It looks like you just wanted someone to give you a spoiled life, huh?"

Sirius winced, not believing his friend could say something like that. Sirius thought James would understand, but the twisted look on James's face told Sirius everything he needed to know.

"I wish I could turn back time and never go on that damned mission. You've stabbed me in the back—both of you. Don't ever look at me again, Lily Evans—we're done. Good luck with your Black puppet." James was glaring daggers at them, and Sirius blanched at the hatred in James's eyes. "Forget we were ever friends, Sirius Black. Now I know why no one trusts your family. You don't have any honour."

James turned his back on them and Disapparated, leaving a broken-hearted Sirius and Lily behind.

Just like that, his eleven-years-long friendship with James was over.