Title: "That Time with the Worm"

Author: Veritas Found

Rating: T / PG-13 / Teen

Characters/Pairings: Dingo King (OC), Luka Couffaine

Summary: Luka's only known Dingo about a month, maybe two, when he realizes…he might be stuck with this guy. That time with the worm kinda cemented it.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Notes/Warnings: Pre-series/Luka and Dingo in collège. I've been hitting a bit of an Angst Wall with Winter's Fury (I need Luka to kick some ass, not Grief Coma), so I needed something fun and silly to shake it off. I bet y'all are expecting a story about tequila and drunken shenanigans, what with a title like that. You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? xD (Bloods found this post on Tumblr ages ago, and there are things people show me that just scream "DINGO". I have 35 Dingo File WIPs that are basically just Crazy Shit we've found that make Luka groan and say, "Fucking Dingo." xD)

"That Time with the Worm"

Luka didn't know how he had ended up in this situation.

…actually, that was a lie. He knew exactly how he had ended up in this situation.

(In the future, he would become very well acquainted with the feeling currently surging through him, and he would harken back to this exact moment, sitting in Mendeleiev's biology lab, and go, "…yep, that was it. Fucking Dingo.")

It was a matter of pride, really. Or stubbornness. Or a healthy (well, ok, not really healthy) mix of both. Somewhere in his ancestry, he was sure there was a disgruntled old pirate going off about losing to a King.

And the moment Dingo had looked at him, his eyes glinting over the shades that had slipped down his nose, and slurped up the fucking worm they were supposed to be dissecting Luka knew it was on. He was a Couffaine, after all. He could recognize a challenge when one was thrown down, even before Dingo had grinned like the maniac he was and asked, "What? You never ate a bug before? Hakuna matata, mate."

Luka was ninety percent sure he had. He couldn't actively remember a time he purposefully ate a bug – and he was pretty sure he'd never slurped a worm like that – but he had been a five-year-old boy once, right? And he was a Couffaine. Eating bugs just seemed like something that should come with the territory.

"…well, yeah, but not one that we're supposed to be graded on?" he hazarded. "Dingo. What…you realize we actually have to complete the lab to pass the unit, right?"

"Yeah, so?" Dingo asked, smacking his lips. Luka groaned and slouched onto the lab table, pressing his face into his palms. He liked Dingo – he really did. Sure, the new kid was a little odd, but Luka liked odd. There was a chaotic energy about him that felt like home. They'd only been friends about a month or so, but Luka could honestly see them being friends for a good, long while.

…if Dingo didn't completely screw up his chances of passing his classes with high enough marks to be accepted into Lycée Sant-Saëns, that is. Sant-Saëns had an excellent music program, and Luka had had his heart set on going there for a while. He could see their friendship ending quickly if Dingo ruined that for him.

"I'm just a little concerned, you know…" Luka said, gesturing to the empty table between them with one hand while keeping the other over his eyes, "…how exactly we're going to complete the dissection lab without. Y'know. The worm we are supposed to be dissecting."

"…what happened to your worm?" Brielle asked, leaning over the table behind them to peer at their station. Beside her, Geoff kept slicing up their own worm. Luka sighed and gestured at Dingo.

"The dumbass ate it," he said. Brielle's eyebrows rose as she looked at Dingo. He was still grinning, completely unrepentant.

"What?" she hissed.

"What?" Dingo parroted. "I got hungry."

"For worms?" she bit.

"Oh, so you wouldn't eat a worm?" Dingo asked, lifting his eyebrows until they disappeared beneath his shaggy blond bangs. "Good source of protein, bugs. You two telling me you wouldn't honestly eat a –"

That was the moment, probably. Most likely. When Luka's pirate pride flared up and he reached behind them, snatched the partially-dissected worm from Geoff's hands, and shoved it in his own mouth.

…hindsight, slurping was probably the better idea. Worms were slightly more gross when you had to chew. Still, Luka powered through and swallowed the damn thing, pointedly ignoring the way it burned going down (and how it would probably burn coming up, too). Brielle just stared at him, her jaw dropped open in shock, as Geoff spluttered about our grade! beside her.

"…oh, it is so on," Dingo cackled, and then he whipped around to the table across from them to ask Penelope for their worm. Luka was already turning to the table on their other side when Brielle grabbed his elbow.

"Luka Couffaine, don't you dare – do you know what those things are soaked in?! We have to tell Mendeleiev – you –!" she hissed, but Luka waved her off and proceeded to ask Mark if he could have their worm.

"…they're going to make us all fail," Geoff whispered beside her.

"They're going to get themselves killed," Brielle huffed, pushing away from the table. At the front of the room, Terri – the class rep who was supposed to be supervising them while Mendeleiev was out of the room – slept on, the growing chaos behind her completely unnoticed. "Try and stop them, will you? I'm going to get Mendeleiev."

She hoped this would teach her not to leave the class unattended when Dingo King was in attendance. Great time to check your mail, she thought bitterly as she left the room. She found her in the teacher's lounge, a stack of papers in one hand and coffee cup in the other, talking to M. Damocles. When she explained what was going on back in the lab, Mendeleiev actually dropped her cup.

"They're WHAT?!" she shrieked. She turned to Damocles, who was staring at Brielle like she was the one slurping up formaldehyde-soaked dissection worms in the middle of class. "Call the hospital! Go get your car!" When he continued to just stand there, gawping, she slapped him with her papers. "Sir, why are you still standing there?! MOVE!"

Brielle rolled her eyes as her principal started spluttering and Mendeleiev raced past her. Once Damocles had pulled his mobile and keys out (and had also pushed past her, though he was heading towards the stairs instead of towards the lab), Brielle ran after her. When Mendeleiev slammed the door open, the lab was in absolute chaos.

…Brielle couldn't help but think the Captain would be proud.

Except for the fact that, in the center of the ring their cheering classmates had formed around the table, Luka was puking his guts out. For his part, Dingo looked a little green, but he was standing on his chair, arms raised above his head in victory and a proud, cocky grin on his face as their classmates cheered his name. Luka barely had the energy to raise a hand and flip him off. The poor guy looked like he was dying, which…yeah. Probably was.

"M. King! M. Couffaine! What in Bunsen's blazing burners are you two doing?!" Mendeleiev shrieked. Their classmates cleared a space for her as she ran over, grabbing Luka's shoulders as he groaned. "M. Couffaine! Can you hear me?"

Luka just groaned in response. She pursed her lips and glared at Dingo, who had hopped down from his chair but was starting to sway on his feet. She reached out and grabbed his shoulder to steady him.

"M. King. How many worms did you boys eat?" she asked. At some point in their little contest, Dingo had completely lost his shades. His brown eyes squinted at Mendeleiev, as if he was having trouble recalling who she was, let alone how many worms they'd eaten.

"…four? I think?" he guessed He waved at Luka. "Luka only got two and a half down before he ralphed. So I win!"

"And your prize is a trip to the hospital to get your stomach pumped, you idiotic…Mlle. Girard, help me get them downstairs," Mendeleiev said, shoving Dingo at Brielle. He grinned up at her, and she rolled her eyes as she slapped the back of his sweaty head.

"Dumbass," she hissed. "Those worms are soaked in formaldehyde. They're deadly, asshole."

"Still won, though," Dingo muttered. He tried to lean his head on Brielle's shoulder, but she shrugged him off and looked back to where Mendeleiev was trying to get Luka to stand.

"If he dies because you're an idiot –" she started, but M. Damocles running into the room cut her off.

"Phyllis! Where are…my God, is he all right?" he asked, his eyes widening as Mendeleiev hoisted Luka onto her back and turned towards them.

"If we get him medical attention, he should be," Mendeleiev said. She turned a sharp eye onto the rest of the class. "Mlle. Bustier will be in shortly – work quietly on your labs until then! No one else is to ingest any worms! And just for making me have to say that, I sincerely hope you'll all be looking forward to the reports you'll owe me on the effects of formaldehyde on a living human body!"

Brielle would have smirked at the collective groan that was her class's response, except Mendeleiev had ordered her to move. She'd barely gotten Dingo to take one step before he'd started swaying again.

"…Dingo?" she asked, looking at him. "Ugh. Hang in there, you idiot."

"M. King? Are you…?" Damocles asked, stepping towards them.

He immediately regretted it when Dingo went from green to pale and ralphed all over his new suit.

– V –

Luka's head was pounding.

And his throat was burning.

He felt like he'd been tossed overboard in the middle of a storm and had swallowed a few gallons of river water before being pulled out of the drink.

He groaned, but even that hurt. He tried to roll onto his side, but a sharp pain in his hand made him stop before he'd even really lifted it from…his bed? Why was he in bed? He…he had been at school, right? He made a noise that wasn't quite a groan – that didn't hurt as much as the groan had – but was still displeased and tried to open his eyes. They felt heavier than eyes had any right to.

The room around him was whiter and cleaner than any room on the Liberty had ever been, and he was pretty sure no room on the Liberty would have a hospital bed holding a grinning Dingo in it. When Dingo noticed he was awake, his grin grew even more manic and he held up both thumbs.

"Mate," he whispered, his own voice raspy, "we have such an epic story to tell."

…what?

Luka tried to voice his confusion, but this throat hurt too much to talk. He winced and closed his eyes again, letting his head fall back on the pillow that was too starchy to be his own. A throat cleared beside him – a very familiar throat clearing – and he winced again before opening his eyes.

The Captain was standing above his bed, arms folded over her chest and watching him with…she looked…crap. His ma looked pissed.

"Luka Llewellyn Couffaine," she said, her voice tight and clipped, and if his throat hadn't been killing him like it was he would have gulped at the use of his full name. "Me darling b'y. One o' the two joys o' me life. What. The. Bleeding. Hell. Happened."

She waited – rather patiently, for the Captain, and for the life of him Luka couldn't tell you if he was more impressed or terrified by that – as he tried to come up with an answer. On the one hand, his throat hurt too much to really talk. On the other, he honestly couldn't really remember what had happened. He had been at school. Biology? He remembered…oh. Oh.

"Dingo," he croaked, and holy crap was that his voice? The Captain's eyebrows soared above her glasses as he closed his eyes and rubbed at his throat with the hand that didn't have an IV in it.

"Easy, easy, b'y," she sighed, reaching out to rub his shoulder. Even if she was pissed at him, she was still his ma – and he was starting to realize he had probably scared the hell out of her. He'd have to apologize for that at some point. He saw a lot of boat maintenance in his future. "Now what, pray tell, is a dingo?"

Luka pointed to the other bed wordlessly. The Captain followed his finger to find the classmate he had come in with – the one Mlle. Mendeleiev told her had been eating dissection worms with her son – was waving at her. He looked vaguely familiar, but the Captain couldn't quite put her thumb on it. It was possible he had been over to the boat at some point, but she had been working extra shifts and hadn't been home much lately.

"Hi," the boy said. "Don't think we've properly met yet? I'm Dingo. New friend? Just moved here a bit ago?"

"D'ye normally make friends by getting them t'eat toxic substances, lad?" the Captain asked. Dingo grinned sheepishly.

"…in my defense," he said, ducking his head, "I did not realize the worms were toxic. Mendy should've told us that." The Captain wanted to argue that Mendy shouldn't have needed to, as don't eat your dissection project should be common sense for most people. "And I would note that I did not in fact leave my mate here to suffer alone. They pumped my stomach, too."

"They pumped our stomachs?" Luka rasped, jerking up in bed, but then he was flopping back again as his throat burned. The sound that left him was pathetic.

"That's what happens when ye ingest formaldehyde, b'y," the Captain said, squeezing his shoulder. She reached for a cup of water on the stand by his bed and handed it to him. "The doctor said yer throat's got some burning on it. Yer gonna be feeling pretty bad fer a bit yet, b'y. What the hell possessed ye t'eat worms, Luka?"

"It was my fault," Dingo piped up, bringing her attention back to the other boy. "It was a joke, ma'am, honest, but then Bri started being Bri about it and the next thing I knew he'd eaten one, too, and I couldn't back down aft-"

"B'ys," the Captain sighed with all the world-weary patience of a Mother Couffaine. She was fairly certain it was the same sigh her mother had made when she had brought home the scraggly punk from Queens and proceeded to tell her they were starting a rock band. "O' course ye did. Obviously had t'see who could eat the most, aye?"

"Exactly! See, Lu? She gets it!" Dingo cried, turning back to her son. He frowned when he saw Luka's eyes had closed again. "Lu? Lulu?"

"…you are not gonna call me that," Luka rasped, and God help her, the Captain laughed. She grinned at the little punk lying in the other bed. There was something about him that reminded her of…well. Anyway, she could see why her boy liked him. He'd be a good fit with their crew, if he could learn to not eat toxic chemicals.

"I think I like ye, b'y," she chuckled. "Just…please. I can handle jail. Just try 'n keep me b'y out o' the hospital next time, aye?"

"Aye, aye, Captain," Dingo said, nodding. The Captain grinned and looked back at Luka.

"And you," she said, patting his arm. Luka cracked open an eye to find she was smiling at him. Well…at least she didn't look pissed anymore? "Just…pick something less toxic next time ye want t'eat something adventurous, aye? Trust me. The worms in tequila taste better, and hangovers are significantly less expensive."

Luka didn't have the energy to try talking again, so he just held a thumb up in agreement. She chuckled and bent down, kissing his forehead. A moment later there was a knock on the door, and she looked up to find the doctor standing there. He waved her over, and she kissed Luka's forehead again before promising him she'd be right back and stepping out of the room with the doctor. When the door closed behind them, Dingo turned back to Luka. He almost looked star-struck.

"…Lulu," he called, and Luka groaned again.

"Stop," he rasped.

"Lulu, I love your mum," Dingo said. Luka's brow furrowed as he turned his head towards his…hell, were they even friends anymore? Luka wasn't sure he wanted to be, if being Dingo's friend meant getting your stomach pumped after a month of knowing him.

"What?" he asked. All of the talking was irritating his throat, which only made him cough, which only irritated it more. He groaned and reached for his water.

"Your mum is hot and crazy – she's perfect!" Dingo said. Luka paused, the straw halfway to his lips. Didn't Dingo like Brielle? Why the hell was he saying his ma was hot? Also ew his ma was not hot? (She was beautiful, sure, he guessed, but definitely not hot. Ew.)

"D-Dingo…" he tried, but he couldn't get the words out. He didn't think he had any words, even if he could talk. He sipped his water and shook his head, deciding he should probably ignore Dingo. At least for now.

"Forget mates, Lulu," Dingo grinned, leaning over the side of his bed. Luka frowned at the manic gleam in Dingo's eyes. "I'm gonna be your stepdad."

…if talking was bad, choking was worse. His ma came rushing back in, the doctor hot on her heels, as he coughed and spluttered and wheezed. Dingo was cackling in his own bed, and when Luka finally stopped coughing and could breathe again and shot a glare his way…he grinned back and winked at him.

And, despite everything…Luka actually smiled.

"See, mate?" Dingo called, laying back in his bed with a satisfied grin. "Knew I'd get you smiling."

"…shut up, Ding."

Notes: Years later, Luka will have to relate this story to Marinette. Probably when they catch the Twins teaching Dewey how to properly eat worms. And Luka's just gonna rub this throat as he remembers, and Marinette will confirm the story with Bri, and she will never let him live it down.