Nostalgia

Author's note: The year is 2022 and I've just watched the OG Gossip Girl and shipped Lily and Rufus harder than I've shipped a TV couple for many years. So here is a slightly tongue in cheek one-shot fix it Lily/Rufus fic. I know the kiss was platonic, but what if it brought up some memories? A slight rewrite and continuation of the finale flash forward scene. The only change I've made is to ignore that ring on Lily's finger. Disclaimer: I own nothing, just borrowing.

"Lily, you have to stop kissing me on the lips, especially in front of a whole room of our friends and family."

Lily jumped slightly when she heard his voice; she'd been touching up her makeup in one of the spare bedrooms at Blair and Chuck's house and hadn't heard him approach.

"Oh come on Rufus, nobody will be weird about it, plenty of people greet that way." She brushed his comments off, not even looking away from the mirror.

"No, I know, that's not why." He paused and shifted his weight to his other foot somewhat uncomfortably.

"Oh does it make you nostalgic? Are you worried you can't control yourself around me?" She asked teasingly, finally meeting his eyes in the mirror.

"Lily." He said in a warning tone. Usually he still called her Lil, the only person who ever did, so she could tell he was serious. She turned around to face him and looked at him properly this time. Almost as soon as they locked eyes, there was a flicker of realisation across both of their faces that they were alone, in a bedroom, standing a little too close together.

Over the past five years they had re-established a cautious friendship but had always been very careful to avoid certain topics; reminiscing about the past, talking about new relationships, anything remotely flirtatious and most importantly too much physical contact. Perhaps the two glasses of champagne she drank whilst getting ready with Serena had gone to her head.

"What's the problem Rufus?" She asked, with a slight tone of irritation. This irritation was, though, mostly directed towards herself - why had she made such a flirty comment? She'd been keeping herself in check so well, hard though it was not to slip back into their normal dialogue of exchanging cheeky quips.

Emboldened by her flirting, he answered truthfully. "You look sensational today. I mean you always do, but today in that dress... You know how good you look in pink."

She blushed a similar colour to the dress and tried to hide a smirk. If she was entirely honest with herself, she knew he loved her in pink and that was part of the reason she'd settled on this dress. He saw the smirk and he recognised it as the same one he'd seen when he told her he was still in love with her back at the Palace Hotel ten years ago. He knew what it had meant then, so he took a leap of faith now.

"And it made it even more difficult than usual not to lose control and do this." He leaned in slowly, giving her ample opportunity to back away, but she didn't and their lips met for the second time today. This time it wasn't just a brief graze and neither pulled away. She grabbed at his shirt, balling it in one hand, the other tangling in his hair, pulling him closer. His hands roamed up and down her back, wanting to feel all of her at once. It had been six years and the kiss was one of desperation, with all the pent up desire of two people who thought they might never get to do this again.

All of a sudden he remembered himself and pulled his lips away from hers, but left his hands on her waist, not wanting to relinquish all contact just yet.

"Oh my god Rufus." She whispered shakily. He recognised that look in her eyes, oh how he'd missed it.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. We can't." His words came out in a jumble. "What about William and then there's Dan and Serena." He said, offering an explanation, trying to communicate that stopping was the last thing he had wanted to do.

Lily took a deep breath and tried to regulate her breathing enough to string a sentence together. "William and I aren't really together, we're just here together to support Serena. I mean sure we've spent the odd night together over the past few years but I could never take him back after everything with the cancer and the affair with Carol all those years ago." She stopped herself. She was rambling, he still seemed to have that effect on her even after all this time. "You forgot about Lisa on that list of reasons why we shouldn't." She added.

"Lisa and I aren't really serious either." His answer was very quick.

Well that was news, Lily thought to herself, unable to mask the surprise on her face. That wasn't the impression he'd been giving off earlier with his arm around her. "But you're right about Dan and Serena. It's their wedding day for god's sake. The last thing they want is their parents making out upstairs. They've got their happy ending and we promised them we wouldn't complicate things this time." She gave him a sad smile.

"Mum! There you are." Serena came bounding round the corner and Lily and Rufus jumped away from each other guiltily. Taking in Lily's flushed face, less than tidy hair that the stylist had left immaculate not long ago and Rufus' untucked shirt, Serena raised an eyebrow. They never had been good at sneaking around.

Keen to break the moment, Lily embraced her daughter, gushing about how gorgeous she looked and swept her out of the room, leaving Rufus alone with his thoughts, wondering just how they'd made such a mess of this.

**
The ceremony went without hitch. Lily was grateful she had been seated somewhere she couldn't see him and Rufus was grateful he had been seated somewhere he could get away with admiring her beauty. She was perfection, right down to the section of hair escaping from her updo on the nape of her neck, that was definitely his fault.

It was only when it came to the photos that Lily and Rufus were no longer able to give each other such a wide berth.
"Mother and father of the bride and groom" shouted the photographer, Leah, one of Serena's friends. "In the case of divorced parents, we usually mix it up with one each side, so mother of the groom and father of the bride over here on the left of the happy couple."

"What if she's divorced them both" Alison muttered under her breath, just loud enough for the family to hear but not the photographer.

"Alison." That was Rufus of course, always taking Lily's side, even after everything she'd done to him.

"Actually it's fine, we're all on good terms." William turned on his charm for the photographer. "Let's have the parents on their proper sides." He placed an arm around Lily and swept her to the space next to him, like only a man utterly used to getting his way could. Lily bristled a little but soon plastered on a smile for the photos.

"Actually can we have one with the parents switched round like you suggested earlier, Leah?" That was Serena addressing the photographer.

William immediately began to question why. "It's my wedding day Dad. I don't have to explain myself, but I can go bridezilla on you if necessary." That shot down his arguments and soon enough they were arranged as the photographer had initially suggested.

Rufus placed his hand on Lily's waist and it felt like an electric shock. Her heartbeat was so loud in her ears she felt sure the whole room could hear it. Lily was going to kill her daughter later.

As she shot away, Leah couldn't help but notice the chemistry between Lily and Rufus and made a mental note to see if she could get some candid shots of them later. She was well acquainted with fake smiles in her line of work and with the couples now swapped around, Lily's facial expression was poles apart from how it had been just now with William.

**
Dan's speech was as brilliant as you'd expect from a writer. He'd already written about his and Serena s turbulent relationship many times, but this was the edited, sweet version and everybody in the room had huge smiles as they listened. "...I never stopped loving you and I never will."

At Dan's parting words of the speech, Lily turned to look at Rufus. He'd always been able to understand her with a single look but this one was clear as day to anyone looking.

**
Later on during the reception, Lily, Serena and Blair flopped down onto chairs at the side of the makeshift dance floor, in need of a breather.

"What's the deal with those two?" Asked Lily, nodding towards Jenny and Nate who were dancing together to the slow song that had just begun to play, looking very much in their own little world.

"Maybe they've finally seen some clarity over how they feel." Serena said with an undertone of something Lily couldn't quite put her finger on.
Before Lily could nosey anymore into the youngsters' love lives, William sauntered over and put his arm around her shoulder, dropping a kiss on the top of her head. "Care to dance my love?"

She winced slightly. There was only one person who she didn't mind that term of endearment from, and it wasn't William.

"Actually Mum can I talk to you alone for a minute? You don't mind do you dad." Surprisingly it was Serena who saved her from the dance.

"Mum I know when Dan and I first got back together 5 years ago, you said you'd never be with Rufus again and that you wouldn't get in the way of Dan and I. I know Dan and I weren't the only reason obviously and I know how badly he broke your heart but a lot has changed in five years. I thought you and Rufus were genuinely just friends but maybe I was just blinded by loving the idea of you and my Dad back together. Because, well, I'm not sure what I interrupted earlier but I've seen the way you've been looking at each other all day."

Lily opened her mouth to deny it but no words came out.

"Sure you guys dating was embarrassing as hell when we were still in school. But we're all grown up now, heck Dan and I are married, and if you and Rufus do want to be together, we don't want to stand in your way. I just want you to be happy Mum."

Lily had tears in her eyes. "What did I do to deserve such a wonderful daughter?"

Lily needed some air after that conversation and she made a beeline for the door, stepping out into the small but immaculate courtyard, only to find Rufus had had the same idea.

"What's wrong Lil?" He always could read her like a book.

"Oh nothing, nothing. They're happy tears." She paused. "Serena just pulled me aside for a chat. She... um wanted to say that she and Dan don't mind the idea of us together anymore. That they just want us to be happy."

This news elicited that boyish grin that she loved so much and he took her hand in his.

"Rufus can we do it?" She asked so quietly it was almost a whisper. They'd established there were no external problems standing in their way but they both knew their relationship had been far from perfect.

"I think we can. The past few years we've proved we can live without each other but I know it's not something I really want to do anymore. It's more like existing than living. I will never stop loving you Lil."

"I'll never stop loving you either." There were happy tears in her eyes again and this time his too.

"We had some great times and we know we need to do some things differently." He went on.

"No more big secrets." She pledged.

"No more getting cross at your little secrets." He countered.

"No more expecting you to attend all my events with me."

"I'll give you more space."

"And I'll give you more space."

"And we will pay absolutely no attention to other people trying to get between us." She chuckled slightly at that one.

"I meant what I said that day about selling the penthouse and us finding our own place. It can even be in Brooklyn if you want."

He kissed her in response. This time the kiss was sweet and gentle, no desperation needed because they both knew they'd get to do it again and again.

Lurking behind them, Leah snapped a photo of the moment, soon to adorn the walls of their new apartment.