I don't own Harry Potter. I make no money from this work.

Hello, this story is meant to make fun of a couple of tropes from the Harry Potter fan fiction world. I don't normally write like this (I hope) I intended this story to be a parody.

Chapter 1: A new teacher and a new friend

Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville, Luna, Draco (who we don't call Malfoy anymore because he's now a love interest and everybody thinks he's really hot), and the rest of the seventh and eighth year Hogwarts students all stood outside the defence classroom waiting for their new teacher in the first class of the new school year.

"I hope we have a good defence teacher this year." said Harry "I know I've already defeated Voldemort but I still need to know how to defend myself amazingly so I can defeat more Dark Lords (because Harry's love interest wants him to be super powerful defeat loads of badguys and be a lord)l."

"And Ladies!" said Ginny ( Harry's got another love interest so she's a feminist and really badass).

"And you need to pass your NEWTS!" cried Hermione. She tucked back one of her beautiful curls and Ron and Draco both sighed dreamily and gazed at her (because Draco is her new love interest and a little bit cannon should remain).

Just then the door to the castle opened and a beautiful woman stepped out. She looked to be about twenty years old with a beautiful tan and had long sleek shiny black hair and dark purple eyes. She wore dark blue Dragon skin pants, a silk blouse and a sapphire blue Dragon skin jacket. She wore tall Dragon skin boots and many golden bangles. Around her neck she wore a sapphire and a golden necklace that sparkled in the light. Her ears were adorned with beautiful golden earrings and her nails were long and sapphire blue. (This is becuse she is a Mary-Sue teacher and is perfect and amazing and beautiful)

"Hello class," she said in a beautifully accented voice. "My name is Professor Persephone Calliope Azua (her middle name hasn't been included) Dream (because obviously everyone calls their daughter this). And I will be your defence professor this year."

As all the boys stared at her openmouthed and the girls wished they looked like her she turned and walked back into the classroom with them all following closely behind.

As soon as they got inside the classroom Harry saw a sight that made him lose his breath. A beautiful girl sat at one of the front desks. She has the same skin tone is the teacher but her hair was beautifully curly and black with deep purple streaks and her eyes were deep and vivid purple (all natural of course). Although she wore the customary Hogwarts robes underneath she had a dark purple dragon skin pants and jacket combination. Harry rushed to sit next to her and Hermione to sit next to him so she could be at the front of the classroom. Draco hurried into the seat behind Hermione and side dreamily at the sighed of her beautiful hair.

"Hello," said the beautiful girl in a beautifully accented voice. "My name is Lovelace Amaryllis Aquila (middle name not included) Dream."

"My name," said Harry breathlessly "Is Harry Potter."

"Ah!" she gasped. "You may call me Dove." (Because obviously Dove is short for Lovelace (see *1))

"Thank you!" said Harry.

"Is everybody listening?" said Profferer Dream. "Then we will start. Todays lesson will be on Grand Mages. Can anyone tell me what they are?"

Hermione put her hand in the air. "Yes..." said Profferer Dream.

"It's Hermione Granger." said Hermione as Draco sighed at her beautiful hair and amazing voice. "A Grand Madge is a incredibly powerful witch or wizard who has at least three powerful annimagus forms, can do wandless magic, is a natrul occlumens and legilemens, can apparate through any ward and can control any magical creature (and obviously you accidentally skipped over the chapter they are referenced in while reading) ."

"Well done Miss Granger."

"One day to be Mrs Malfoy." said Draco sighing dreamily at Hermione's beautiful hair.

The rest of the lesson passed by with them listening to the teacher lecture and taking notes.

At the end of the lesson Profferer Dream said in a quiet but carrying tone and a beautiful accent "Harry Potter and Lovelace Amaryllis Aquila Dream stay behind please."

Harry and Dove walked to the front of the classroom while Hermione waited just by the door with Draco staring adoringly at her. (Because Ron isn't Hermione's love interest he don't really pay a part anymore. Same for Ginny in relation to Harry.)

"I need to tell you something Harry." said Profferer Dream.

"What?" asked Harry nervously as Dove squeezed his hand.

"You are a Grand Mage."

*1

Other Nicknames include but are not limited to:

- Lovely
-Lace
-Lacey
-Amethyst
-Ama (pronounced A-mar)
- Ryllis (pronounced Ri-lis)
-Riley
-Rilly (pronounced Ri-ly)
- Aqua
-Rilla
-Dreamy

Thanks for reading. This was meant to make fun of fan fiction tropes. Let me know if it was any good. Any opinions on if I should continue with this story line or do a series of stories written like this (by that I mean taking a trope and writing/making fun of it).