This story is inspired by Season 1 Scandal, Vermont and the Olitz actors – Kerry Washington and Tony Goldwyn

NO-Mellie and NO-Joke: Public Service Announcement for any accidental non-Olitz readers

"We have trust issues."

"We don't have trust issues."

"Fitz tells Zeke everything. He's married to Zeke not me."

"Zeke told me about Edison."

"But you didn't tell me. Even Karen knows more than I do, and she's not even ten."

"I hate the kids knowing about this."

Carlita watched Fitz and Olivia argue like a tennis umpire, then held up a hand. "Fitz, I will ask you a question. Did your mother let your father control her?"

Fitz turned away from Olivia to direct his gaze on Carlita. "I wouldn't say she let him. She didn't have a choice. Big Jerry always took control." He glanced at Olivia again. "I'm not Big Jerry."

Without looking at him, Olivia said, "Fitz is not like his father. Big Jerry was a bully."

"You would agree, Fitz?"

"Yes." He looked at Olivia, who stared straight at Carlita.

"Would you protect the people he bullied, Fitz?"

"I tried. But in the end he turned on me too. I hated him."

Without looking at him, Olivia inched closer to Fitz, so the Arctic gap between them was bridged.

In response, Fitz slipped his arm around her, pulling her closer.

"I know you made most of the decisions for your mother, Olivia," Carlita continued as if the thawing never occurred.

"My mother was... an introvert. She didn't make friends easily. She didn't have a lot of confidence in herself"either, which is why she got my Dad to make all the decisions. When Dad started working longer and longer hours, she turned to me," She glanced at Fitz. "I'm used to wearing the pants in the house."

"You look good in pants," he said softly.

Olivia smiled.

Carlita beamed. "You see your problem?"

Fitz and Olivia exchanged a look, then shook their heads.

"There is no problem!" Carlita rose to her feet. "You are two strong individuals who are learning to negotiate your boundaries. It is natural for people to do this in every marriage."

"Is that your professional opinion?" Fitz asked blandly.

"Of course not! I am Olivia's friend, and yours too, Fitz. That was a friendly observation." Carlita slipped her bare feet back into her shoes. "Now that we're done with our little friendly chat, I will go back to babysitting."

As Carlita disappeared, Olivia gave a wry smile. "Do you get the feeling that Carlita prefers Gracie's company to ours?"

"It's not a feeling, it's a fact." Fitz murmured, his gaze soft. "I can't really blame her though."

Olivia chuckled. "Me neither." Then she sighed, resting her head back on his shoulder. "What are we going to do about Edison?"

Random conversations in public...

Two Wall Street traders: "Damn, this Edison Davis appears out of nowhere and took the lead for the Democrats. Whoever is pulling his strings must have some mighty big connections. One thing's for sure, we'll still have a job..."

Two workers in an exclusive upmarket boutique: "Edison Davis wasn't even in the race. How does a guy who wasn't even in the race get ahead of the pack? Talk about turbo-charged affirmative action. Is that even legal?…"

Off camera sports commentators: "Davis kinda reminds me of Steven Bradbury, that Australian speedskater at the 2002 Winter Olympics. He was literally the last guy standing when all the other guys crashed. You remember that? He won gold..."

Not so random conversations on the Mass Media circuit

Liberal Media talking heads: Who is Edison Davis? '…Edison Davis isn't the usual white bread cliché representing the Democratic Party – he is black. Besides that, the man is a cookie-cutter replica of what the progressives are comfortable with – a guy who walks the walk and talks the talk of a Liberal right of centre… Davis is certainly qualified for the job – he served on the Senate Intelligence committee, appointed by President Fitzgerald Grant… Davis even served on Grant's first bi-partisan cabinet … My sources say Davis was a voice of reason in the Senate when Mrs Langston unleashed 21 days of chaos the last time she tried to be President. Remember that? Crazy times…"

Conservative Media talking heads: Who is Edison Davis? "The guy is wet behind the ears; being Senate Majority Leader is small potatoes compared to Commander-in-Chief of all the armed forces. The guy hasn't even seen combat… His appointment to the Senate committee and Grant's executive team weren't kosher. I heard from a very reliable source that it was all thanks to Mrs Grant. She gets Davis, her ex-fiancé, into her husband's inner circle. What do you call that - incest, nepotism, is there a word? Anyways the threesome doesn't work out and Grant dumps him as a candidate for Veep. And get this, Grant then chooses another black guy, who's gay, has a bum leg and only one eye. That was some kick in the guts if you ask me…"

"You mad at me?"

"Yes."

Zeke chuckled. "That tells me you're mad now, but you'll forgive me later."

Olivia sighed. "Why didn't you tell me about Edison?"

"How'd I know you'd rescue that bastard from the trap Reston had set? We could have made sure he was locked up for a long time, I mean really long time but now we have him running for President."

"We've got to stop him."

"Got any suggestions?"

"You could run."

"Hell, no. I'm just keeping this seat warm for Fitz."

"Fitz won't do it. He's.. acting weird."

"Has he mixed his meds?"

"He's not on medication. He's been talking to Tom a lot, and they both look guilty when I walk up."

"That's not a good sign…" Zeke mused. "Let me see what I can find out. And," he said grandly, "You'll be the first to know."

"You make sure you do that."

"Yes, ma'am."

"So I've been thinking of taking Jerry and Karen on an excursion. It will be educational."

"An excursion – like the one Dad took them on, and you and I found out about our slave ancestry?" Olivia gave Fitz a wry look.

"I was thinking a more scenic excursion – sightseeing and touristy."

"Touristy?"

"Touristy."

"A day trip?"

"Gone in the morning. Back before night."

"What about Carlita's kids?"

"I can take Carlita's kids too, with her permission."

"Where are you going?"

"Wherever the wind takes us."

"You're going to manage all those kids by yourself?"

"You think I can't?" Fitz paused and before Olivia could answer, he said, "I'll take Papa Pope with me. It'll be educational."

"You, my dad and the kids?"

Fitz raised a brow. "You think I'm up to something?"

"Are you?"

"Would you believe if I said no."

"No."

"Then yes I'm up to something."

"Is Tom okay with this?"

"We have escaped the Crown Jewel in the American Prison system, Liv. I'd like to spread my wings."

"You should."

"I should?"

"Yeah, you should."

"So has Dad said anything about his plans for the day trip?" Olivia asked casually, washing dishes at the kitchen sink.

"Nope." Jerry shook his head as he rubbed a plate vigorously dry. "He said he wants it to be a surprise."

"Dad said you'd get it out of Jer before he could say boo, Mom, so Dad's not telling us where we're going until we get there," Karen added as she put away the dried dishes.

"He said that?" Olivia placed a sudsy glove on her waist.

"Yep, but you didn't hear it from me." Jerry nodded, and reached for another dish.

Later that night, Olivia lay on the pillow watching Fitz snore.

"Fitz…?" she whispered.

He didn't respond.

"Fitz!" she hissed a little louder.

Still no response.

Keeping a watchful eye on Fitz, Olivia eased out of bed, and carefully tiptoed around to snatch his phone off the night table. She paused a moment to check on Gracie, lying on her back snoring softly like her dad.

Smiling, Olivia cast a look at Fitz, before quietly leaving the room.

She was standing in the corridor, scrolling through the phone, when a voice said abruptly, "Who are you calling?"

Biting back a scream, Olivia turned to glare at the speaker. "Dad! What are you doing, sneaking up on people at this time of night?"

"Ï wasn't sneaking, I left my reading glasses in the Den. And I was going to collect them." He paused. "Who were you calling?"

"Ï wasn't calling anyone."

"To whom were you sending messages?"

"Ï wasn't sending messages."

Rowan gave her a solemn look, then stepped around her to head towards the stairs. "I'll go collect my glasses."

"Wait." Olivia hurried after him. "Did Fitz tell you where he's taking you and the kids?"

Rowan paused at the bottom of the steps, turning to face his daughter. "Olivia, you want me to break a man's confidence by telling you what he doesn't want you to know?"

Olivia studied her father in silence, then muttered, "He hasn't told you either."

"No."

As Rowan took a left towards the Den, Olivia headed towards the kitchen to pour herself a glass of juice before sitting down at the kitchen table to continue snooping through Fitz's phone.

"There is no way that Fitz is having an affair."

"Olivia is checking his phone."

Without looking up, Olivia said, "Fitz is not having an affair."

"Nope," Huck confirmed sitting at the table, opposite Olivia with a piece of leftover apple pie and a glass of milk.

"You're eating?" Quinn sat in the chair next to him, staring at his plate in outrage. "Now? It's the middle of the night."

"I'm hungry." Huck took a huge bite of the pie, and chewed.

"So if you're not checking for messages from a lover, what are you doing with Fitz's phone?" Abby took the seat next to Olivia.

"How do you know this is his phone?" Olivia looked up.

"Tracking device." Huck mumbled through a mouthful of pie. "Operation Bubby."

Olivia sighed. "I just want to know where he's going."

"Canada," Huck said clearly, and burped.

The three women stared at Huck.

"How do you know?" Quinn asked.

"I bugged Tom's phone."

"You bugged Tom's phone?" Olivia stared.

Abby gave a snort. "That guy is paranoid about security."

"He's paranoid about protecting the family. He doesn't watch out for himself."

"Why would Fitz go to Canada?" Quinn scrunched her forehead.

"To see his other lover." Abby reached over to steal a pie crust crumb from Huck's plate. "We need to stop him. I could leave an anonymous tip that Fitz has a bomb in his suitcase."

"Fitz doesn't have another lover, and you won't be leaving anonymous tips," Olivia said firmly.

"Fitz has hired a private jet. He's not flying commercial." Huck advised. "You want me to hack the navigation system and redirect them to Idaho?"

"We're not going to stop Fitz going to Canada."

This time all eyes focused on Olivia.

Then Huck went back to his pie. "It's okay, the National Hockey League season has started."

Abby stared at him in disgust. "I don't know anyone in Canada."

"I don't think we're invited," Quinn murmured.

"We're invited," Huck said firmly, "Wherever Liv goes, we go."

"I'm not going to Canada, and neither is Fitz. It's just a day trip."

Olivia opened the door quietly and crept into the room backwards, keeping her attention on closing the door as quietly as possible.

"It's okay, Gracie's awake."

Olivia shot around to see Fitz out of bed, his hair mussed, with Gracie on his bare shoulder.

"She had a nightmare."

Olivia went closer to look at their daughter lying peacefully on Fitz's shoulder, and smiled. "I think she just wants a hug from Daddy."

Fitz gave a soft smile, rubbing Gracie's back. "Did you go downstairs for a midnight snack?"

"Mm," Olivia muttered noncommittally.

"Taking my phone with you?"

Olivia stared at him. "Your phone?"

"My phone."

She fished the device out of her track suit pants. "Oh. I thought it was the baby monitor."

They both stared from the slim black device in Olivia's hand to the white box on the night table.

"I was half asleep when I took it," Olivia muttered.

A rogue smile touching his lips. "Did it tell you where I'm going?"

"No." Olivia adopted a pious expression.

"Want me to tell you?" He slipped his free arm out to draw her close.

"No. You can keep your big boy secrets. Gracie, Teddy and I are going to have a great time without you."

He snuffled a laugh against her temple. "You're so cute."

"You, not so much," Olivia murmured, lifting a hand to encircle Gracie's foot. "This little madam needs to go back to bed."

"So does Mommy and Daddy," Fitz murmured, leaning down to kiss Olivia softly.

"Yes, but Daddy still isn't getting sexy times with Mommy."

"You're no fun."

"But I'm cute. You said so." Olivia reached for Gracie. "Now kiss Gracie goodnight."

"Yes, ma'am." Fitz smooched a long, noisy kiss on Olivia's mouth, before kissing the top of Gracie's head softly goodnight.

"When's a good day for our big adventure?" Fitz asked Olivia, looking down at Gracie asleep in her arms. They were seated on a garden bench watching the humans and dogs play Frisbee on the lawn. Or more accurately, everyone chasing Rex who'd run off with the disc.

Olivia gave Fitz a pert look. "It's not Our Big Adventure. It's yours."

"Okay, so when would be a good day to go on my Big Adventure?"

"Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Fitz raised a brow. "You want me to go tomorrow?"

Olivia nodded.

"You're fine with me going tomorrow?"

"Seize the day."

He eyed her suspiciously.

She smiled.

"Tomorrow, huh?"

"Yep." Olivia hid a smile, as she bent to kiss Gracie's chubby cheek.

"What do you think I should pack?" Fitz asked as he followed Olivia with a grocery cart with the Secret Service in tracksuits following discreetly behind.

"I don't know." Olivia tossed a megapack of nappies into the cart.

"Get two."

Olivia got two.

"Back to my question, what do you think I should pack?"

"A swimsuit and a beach towel?"

"We're not going to Hawaii."

"A snowsuit and skiis?"

"Liv, it's not snow season yet." He waited expectantly.

Olivia wrinkled her nose. "Pack for all seasons."

Fitz opened his mouth to respond, then closed it when Olivia quickly ducked into the next aisle.

Later that evening, as the kids played charades in the living room, Fitz asked, "Do you want to know where I'm taking the kids?"

"Nope. Because you don't want me to know."

"I could tell you."

"I don't want to ruin your surprise."

"Mom, it's your turn," Karen called.

"Gotta go," Olivia patted his knee and got up.

Olivia was pretending to be asleep when Fitz finally came to bed, taking longer than usual to say goodnight to the kids.

She breathed deeply, as close to a snore as she was willing to get, when she felt the bed dip on the far side. She waited but there was only silence. She was beginning to get annoyed, when his arm snaked out and he hauled her to his side, cutting off her surprised yelp with a kiss.

"I was asleep." She mumbled.

"Liar." He drew back to smile at her. "Will you miss me tomorrow?"

"No."

He kissed her again, softly, taking his time. "How about now?" His voice was husky.

"Abby thinks you have a secret girlfriend."

"I do." He grinned when Olivia's cheeky look disappeared. "She's in the closet." He dropped a kiss on her frown. "Mimi. You didn't think I was going to leave her at the White House, did you?"

"Mimi?"

"I was thinking of taking her with me on my Big Adventure." He smiled at her wickedly.

She started to laugh. But he quickly muffled the sound with kisses, whispering, "Jealous?"

"No!" she insisted between kisses.

"You're jealous."

"I'm not jealous."

"You're a little bit jealous."

"Not the tiniest bit."

"I'd feel better if you were jealous."

"Okay, I'm jealous."

"See, I knew it!"

"Fitz!"

On the day of the Big Mystery Trip, Carlita loaded the kids with enough snacks to feed them for a month. Felicia had given them all booklets of emergency numbers and coins for the callbox, Olivia couldn't tell her the coins had to be Canadian. Then they all stood waving on the lawn, as the minibus loaded with Fitz, Rowan, the kids and Secret Service disappeared down the drive.

After they'd gone, Felicia and Carlita took Teddy for a stroll with the dogs. Olivia decided to tidy up the living room with Gracie watching her from her bassinet on the dining room table. Olivia had just about finished when Tom came in. He'd been ordered to stay with Olivia by Fitz.

"Tom? Have the guys run out of coffee?"

"No, ma'am. I, uh, I guess it's safe to tell you. The Pres-uh-Mr Grant is going to Canada."

"I know."

There was a long pause, then Tom said, "The air is cleaner and fewer people get killed by guns. It's a safer place to live."

"We're not going to live in Canada, Tom."

"Ma'am, the Secret Service would go with you to Canada. Jacqueline Kennedy only lost her security detail when she married Aristotle Onassis."

"We won't be relocating."

She paused when phones began to buzz, both hers and Tom's.

Tom answered his, then he stared at Olivia.

Breaking News

…It was not the welcome Former President Fitzgerald Grant would expect on his first visit to Canada as a private citizen. We have camera footage of a private jet being surrounded by Canadian SWAT teams. Police sources say the passengers, including Mr Grant, the Grant kids and Professor Pope were detained on the aircraft as persons of interest. Immigration sources later confirmed the aggressive welcome was due to an 'administrative error'…

Meanwhile, a poll by a Canadian newspaper, has revealed that 76 per cent of readers would support a Constitutional change to allow Fitzgerald Grant to become the next Prime Minister of Canada…

"You told the Canadians Fitz was terrorist?!" Olivia glared at Zeke as they flew on Marine One to the Canadian Border.

"Hey, now don't look at me like that. I've got Gracie and I don't want her to get third-degree burns."

Carlita crossed the aisle and took Gracie from Zeke. "Now you can yell at the President in peace," she muttered before returning to her seat, next to Felicia who was holding onto Teddy, staring down at the trees getting smaller and smaller below them.

Zeke glanced at Oscar and Tom for help, but they avoided his gaze. Realizing he was on his own, he sighed. "Liv, it's not me you should be getting mad at, it's the Canadians."

"The Canadians who got an alert from your State Department that Fitz was a person of interest?"

"The idea was to stop Fitz leaving the country. The Canadians wouldn't be involved if Fitz had gone commercial, then our guys would have stopped him boarding the plane."

"Wait, did you put Fitz on a No-Fly list? And the kids? And my dad?"

"Not all of them, no."

"Fitz?"

"...Yes."

"Zeke!"

He shook his head and eyed Olivia with exasperation. "You think it's easy doing this job? You think I'm enjoying myself being President of a country going to hell on a roller-coaster ride? I am spending every waking moment trying to save the Grant legacy; and Fitz is out there working on an escape route to Canada. You realise when I walk away from this job, the keys to every nuclear bomb in the country will go to Sally Langston? That woman wants every kid in school and pastor in church, armed and dangerous."

"And your response was to make Fitz a fugitive?"

"I didn't have a lot of options."

There was silence.

"Liv?"

"I think she's counting to ten, sir." Tom supplied diffidently.

"Looks like hundred." Oscar muttered.

Then Zeke's phone rang.

After a few brief words, he turned to Liv. "The US ambassador to Canada has arrived with the Canadian Governor General to collect Fitz and the kids. The Canadian Prime Minister wants to give a personal apology. In front of the media." Zeke glanced at Olivia's cream maternity dress. "It's a good thing you got changed for the occasion, you wouldn't want to go on Canadian TV in baggy pants and that tent top you had on."

"Can you make him stop?" Tom leaned towards Oscar.

"I don't think so." Oscar sighed.

While Fitz and Zeke were meeting in private with the Canadian and US officials, Olivia and Carlita stood in a private room, surrounded by their kids, all talking at once.

"Mom, we got arrested!"

"Big dudes with guns and dogs surrounded us!"

"They thought we were terrorists!"

"They thought Uncle Fitz was kidnapping us!"

"The Secret Service got in trouble for pulling guns on the Canadian guards!"

"Grandpa Pope threatened to sue their ass for harassment and racial profiling!"

From the back where Rowan had been talking quietly to Felicia, he returned, "I didn't threaten, I promised."

At that point, upset at the escalating noise, Gracie let out a great big wail. The others fell silent and stared at her in awe.

"Jeez, where's the little dudette's volume control? Bet they can hear her in Florida."

Olivia rubbed Gracie's back, trying to calm her, as she asked worriedly, "Is everyone feeling all right?"

"We're fine, Mom," Karen said, slipping her arm around Olivia's waist. "Do you want me to take Gracie?"

"Let me." Jerry took the baby from Olivia's arms but Gracie wouldn't stop crying.

"Come on, baby, don't cry." Carlita's kids gathered around Jerry. "Bebe, what's wrong, huh? Why are you crying?"

"Don't crowd her." Carlita tried to make space.

Then the door opened behind them and a voice said, "What's going on? What's upset Bubby?"

And just hearing her father's voice, made Gracie stop and hiccup.

Fitz watched as Carlita herded the kids out of the room, with Rowan and Felicia's help, before turning to Olivia.

"Hi."

Gracie, lying content in his arms, responded with a burp.

Olivia folded her arms across her chest, and stared at him.

Fitz sighed. "I knew this would happen. That's why I didn't want you to find out."

Olivia opened her mouth to give a blistering response, than catching Gracie's eye, she took a deep breath and asked evenly, "When were you going to tell me you wanted us to move to Canada?"

"Why are you mad at me?"

Olivia stared at him in disbelief. "You want to know why I'm mad at you? You mean to tell me you don't know?"

"You look breathtakingly beautiful."

Olivia marched right up to him, and hissed, "You want me to be open book. But you, everything you do is classified under the Fitzgerald Grant Secrets Act."

"I didn't tell you because you would have stopped me."

"Why would I have stopped you?"

"You would have…disapproved."

"Why would I have disapproved?"

"So you're okay about moving to Canada?"

"No."

He raised a brow, a ghost of a smile touching his lips.

Olivia shook her head. "You still don't get it, do you?"

"Get what? That we could have had a good life in Canada?"

"Fitz, Canada isn't the farthest we can get from Edison."

"How about Mexico?"

Olivia's response to that was interrupted by a knock on the door, and they were advised that the press conference was about to start.

The Canadian Prime Minister apologised for the 'administrative error' that had caused a 'major embarrassment' for the two 'closest neighbours', 'erstwhile allies' and 'cousins across the ditch'. "I wholeheartedly extend an invitation to our unexpected guests to return to our beautiful country, meet our friendly people, breathe our clean, fresh air. Without the guns that would be more familiar in New York or Chicago."

Fitz accepted the apology and the invitation, saying that "mistakes happen". "I wanted to give my kids and our friends a great big adventure, and you guys sure helped me pull it off. A trip to Universal Studios couldn't have topped the excitement we got from the good men and women of Canada's Border Control. And no, I won't take this as a reflection of the North American Alliance treaties signed by me during my time as President. (laughter)"

President Zeke blamed a 'glitch in the system', and the Canadians 'gaming America' on who's better at border protection. "I am seriously impressed with your security measures. Back home we've got folks talking about walls and deporting kids, but you guys have SWAT teams with guns big enough to scare the diplomatic immunity out of ex-Presidents."

First question from the Press: "Mrs Grant, can we get pictures of the baby?"

Flying back to Vermont on Marine One, Zeke looked down at Gracie staring up at him thoughtfully. "This little princess is a media star."

"She did a good job distracting attention from your mess," Olivia nodded, seated across from him, squished up next to Fitz.

"How did this become my mess when it's got Fitz's name written all over it?"

"We wouldn't be in this mess, if you hadn't made me a person of interest."

"I wouldn't have done that if you hadn't acted like a fugitive crossing the border to Canada?"

"I wasn't acting like a fugitive, it only turned into a circus after you called the authorities."

In the background, Jerry leaned towards Rowan and muttered, "Wow. These guys are in charge of America. Sc-ary."

"What's that, Jerry?" Fitz looked over at Jerry.

"Nothing, Dad." Jerry slid down in his seat, and reached for the nearest magazine to cover his face.

Oscar attempted distraction. "You know we'll have to organise extra protection Gracie, even the Canadians adore her."

"They can't have her," Jerry muttered from the depths of the magazine.

"It's okay, bro," Carlita's eldest son called from the front. "All she has to do is scream and they'll give her straight back."

"How about we all go with Gracie to Canada?" Fitz murmured looking at Olivia.

"No."

"What do you think, Dad?" Fitz turned to Rowan. "Don't you think Canada is a great place to live?"

"Even if I ignore the fact that the Canadian SWAT team pulled guns on me as a greeting –"

"That was Zeke's fault."

"— without apportioning blame, I think we should stay. There's a lot of work to be done at home."

"And the Canadian treatment of First Nations' people is an absolute disgrace," Felicia muttered, keeping Teddy firmly on her lap when he wanted to toddle off.

"Peter would need a visa to visit, wouldn't he, Uncle Zeke?" Karen asked.

"Yeah, I'd say so, but I'd need to check on that."

"Looks like you're outnumbered," Olivia looked at Fitz, with a smug smile.

His gaze lifted from her mouth towards Carlita seated in the front, surrounded by her children. "Hey, Carlita, how do you feel about the Grants moving to Canada?"

"Will we get arrested every time we visit?" Carlita's daughter responded.

"That was a once-off," Fitz assured.

Jerry put the magazine aside and sat up. "Dad's not boss of the Canadians, so yeah, you could get arrested again."

Zeke nodded. "The next President of America would make sure of it. And he'd ask the Canadians to throw away the key."

"Can we uninvite Zeke to Gracie's Christening?" Fitz asked Olivia.

"No, he's her Godfather."

"I'm not going to win this argument if you guys keep sabotaging me at every turn."

"We're not sabotaging you," Olivia murmured, snuggling close. "We're telling you how we feel. You have a choice of staying in Vermont, or going off to Canada." When Fitz eyed her solemnly, Olivia said sweetly, "I'll send jam in a care package once a week."

"I won't need jam. I'm staying with Mom." Jerry said.

"Me too," Karen nodded.

"Will the jam be home-made?" Fitz murmured.

"It'll be home-style. From the store."

"You guys don't play fair," Fitz sighed.

There was a small silence, then they all burst out laughing.

A/N: I've neglected this story so long, that I forgot where I left off. So anyone still reading this, I totally get your pain...