21

"Are you sure about this?" Carlisle asked, giving me one of his smoldering, penetrating looks that had my knees weakening and my heart racing.

"No," I confessed, my words thick and laced with desire and need. "We're playing with fire. There are dangers involved that we won't be able to control, but just this once, let's live life to the fullest and have fun."

Carlisle's lips curved upward into a devious smile. "Okay, if you're sure."

He laughed under his breath as he turned and faced the young, girl standing behind the counter, waiting patiently for him to give her our ice cream order. I say she's young. She couldn't have been more than a couple years younger than me, but I felt decades older. There was an innocence in her eyes that I used to have.

"My wife and I will each take a double dip of chocolate toffee crunch in a cup and the boys will each have, and we are going to regret this, the triple hot fudge, marshmallow surprise, with whipped cream and cherries."

Michael and Tyler began cheering while the Carlisle slapped a twenty on the counter. "And a lot of napkins."

"Yes, sir," the girl laughed and made his change.

A few minutes later, the four of us were crammed into a booth and the boys were covered in ice cream, fudge, and gooey marshmallow crème. We'd spent the last five days at the cottage — five wonderful days where we forgot the outside world. Well, almost. Marcus and Garrett had called to check on us once. So had Edward and Jasper, but everyone else still seemed pissed with me. They may have known Aro Volturi's history, but I knew Gabriel Varner — the man obsessed with me, the man who would have killed my children just to touch me. I hated that I had hurt everyone, that Peter died because he loved me like one of his own, but I did what I had to in order to keep my family safe and I was done apologizing for loving everyone too hard.

"Hey," Carlisle said, placing his hand on top of mine. "You're going to get wrinkles if you don't stop frowning."

Trying to smile, I shifted my attention to him. "Sorry."

"It's okay."

But it wasn't. Dozens of times over the last handful of days, I'd found myself lost in the thoughts that consumed me. The unending guilt for costing Peter his life, for costing my mother and father their lives, had crushed my soul. I tried to keep the boys from seeing me so upset, but Carlisle always knew when I was struggling to keep myself from cracking at the seams.

He's remind me that he loved me by taking hold of my hand, placing soft kissing on my lips, neck, shoulder. Carlisle did everything he could to keep me from overthinking, over-analyzing why Gabriel Varner chose me.

How hadn't I seen the way Mr. Varner looked at me? Was I just another self-absorbed teenager? Were there clues to his obsession? I didn't think so, but I never realized that he thought of me in such a vile and disgusting way. Though, my father had. Charlie had seen the way the man looked at me, the way he lusted after me, and it cost him his life. Why hadn't my father told me to beware of the man, though? Charlie would never have left me in the hands of a monster. But of course, he wasn't able to warn me, was he? Gabriel Varner had made sure my father never got to tell me anything ever again.

Carlisle cleared his throat, once again pulling my attention to him. "Tyler's eyeing your ice cream. You'd better eat it quickly."

I looked at Tyler, who for such a small boy, had managed to eat all of his treat and was indeed looking at mine with hungry eyes. "Don't even think about it, dude."

"I'll be your bestest friend if you let me have it!" he exclaimed.

"Hmm, nice try, but no."

"No fair!" he whined, and fell back into his chair. He brought his hands up to his head, swaying back and forth in his seat. "Woah, I think I'm flying."

I laughed and looked at Michael, who was slowly eating his treat. "Don't think we should have let him have one. Do you?"

"No way," he said, licking the bottom of his spoon. "You know how he gets after a small scoop of ice cream. With this much sugar, he's going to be as high as a kite." Michael paused. "Whatever that means."

"You're probably right, little man," I agreed, smiling before turning my attention back to my ice cream, but not before I caught the grin on Carlisle's face. For a few hours, we could be completely happy.

After enjoying our ice cream, Carlisle and I took the boys back to the cottage, heading straight for the beach. Tyler had too much sugar-induced energy and the best way to burn if off was to let him run around the beach. The weather had turned too cool to go into the water, but he, Michael, and Carlisle enjoyed playing with the football we'd bought. They'd also built a sandcastle, hunted for sea shells, and played tag. I watched them with envy. They were so free, so innocent. Just how they were supposed to be.

"I wish I could bottle their energy," Carlisle said with a laugh as he fell into the sand next to where I was sitting. "You okay? You've been distracted all day. More so than usual."

I nodded and gave him my best smile. "A little tired."

"Me, too," he said, sliding his arm around my waist. "Maybe after the boys go to bed, we can put on a movie."

I bit the inside of my lip to keep from moaning. A movie with Carlisle always led to sex, which I wasn't going to refuse. He'd left me hanging too many times over the last few days. "Sure, sounds like fun."

But before Carlisle could say anything more, the boys screamed for him to chase them and he gave me a look before he went to save the day. He was an amazing father. The boys were lucky to have him.

—TW—

Felt like it had taken hours, but the boys were finally in bed. I closed the door to their bedroom and tiptoed down the hallway to the living room, where I expected to find Carlisle on the couch, ready to watch our movie. He was on the couch, but instead of waiting for me to join him, he was fast asleep. I smiled as I walked over to him and covered him with a blanket. Even though I was exhausted, I knew I wasn't ready to sleep, so I went outside to sit on the porch.

We were going to have to head back to San Francisco tomorrow. We couldn't keep hiding out, pretending that our lives were perfect. We'd been able to fake it for a few days, but Carlisle had responsibilities through the medical Co-op and the boys and I had school. It was time for us to move on.

But the thought of being back in the city made me sick. I loved San Francisco, but I knew the backlash was far from over. Peter Cullen had been revered and loved, cherished by the city that had become our new home. And my actions had taken him away from those who loved him.

"What are you doing out here?" Startled, I brought my hand up to my chest as I looked toward the doorway of the cottage, where Carlisle stood with the blanket wrapped around his shoulders. "It's cold out here."

"Feels good to me," I said, smiling. "You fell asleep."

He laughed. "Sorry. The boys . . . I'm not a young man anymore, Isabella."

"You're not an old man, either."

"Maybe not." Carlisle walked over to me and offered me his hand, which I took eagerly. He wrapped the blanket around us both, holding me close to his body as we danced to the sound of the ocean. "I'm scared."

"Of what?" I asked.

"Losing you," he confessed, looking at me. "When we go back to the real world, things are going to be different. I won't be able to protect you from all of it, either."

My shoulders tensed. "To be honest, I'm worried about the same. What if you get tired of dealing with me?"

"Never going to happen," he scoffed.

"You can't know that. I'm a hot mess, Carlisle."

"You are," he admitted. "And so am I, and so are the boys. But I know that I will never stop loving you and I will never stop wanting you in my life."

"I'll never stop wanting you, either, but what if I can't be the wife you deserve."

"You already are," he insisted, but I shook my head. "You love me when I'm grouchy, you love me when I'm needy. Hell, you love me when I'm a dirty old man wanting to stick my cock inside you."

I laughed. "I really love you then."

Carlisle smiled. "See? Perfect wife for me."

"How can you say that after I left?"

"You were trying to keep me and the boys safe," he said. "I'm not happy about it. And yeah, I'm still hurt and angry, but that doesn't mean I don't want you anymore. I just . . . I just think we may need to talk to someone."

"Like marriage counseling?" I asked and when he nodded, I sighed. "We've only been married for a few months and already we need therapy."

"I'm angry all the time, Isabella. I keep thinking the feeling will go away, that I'll wake up one morning and it won't hurt, but it doesn't. And I know it doesn't for you, either."

"That's true," I confessed, knowing it was useless to pretend otherwise.

"We've suffered a lot of loss over the last few months, a lot of heartache. We can go together or individual, whatever you want, but if we want our marriage to last, we have to do this."

"Okay," I agreed. "I'll do anything to keep our family together."

"Anything?" he asked, smirking.

"Yes?" Wasn't sure why it came out sounding like a question, but the sparkle in Carlisle's eyes both scared and thrilled me.

"Take off your pants."

After the way he'd left me hanging in the bathroom days earlier, I wasn't sure I should trust him, but I desperately needed his touch, so I stepped away from him and slid my hand into the top of my sweat pants. I slid them down my legs, watching as Carlisle's eyes traveled the length of my legs.

"All the way off, Isabella."

I bit my lip, shifting my eyes to the doorway. What if the boys woke? Last thing I wanted was for them to catch me with my pants off and showing off my no-no square.

"They're not going to come out here, Isabella," Carlisle said, knowing too well what I was thinking. "Take them off."

"Okay," I murmured and kicked them to the side, leaving me standing in just my T-shirt and panties.

"Turn around and bend over the arm of the chair."

I took a deep breath and did as he told me, knowing that he had a perfect view of my ass. A moment later I felt his hands pushing my shirt over my hips. He gripped my panties and pulled them down to my knees, leaving them there.

"Spread your legs further apart."

Again, I followed his order. My heart was racing and my legs trembled with excitement and need. I felt Carlisle's hands caressing my tender flesh and I wanted to push into his touch, beg him to make love to me again. But I didn't. The words sat on the tip of my tongue, but despite how much I needed him, I couldn't bring myself to ask to him to take me.

"You're so fucking beautiful." His hands dropped to the inside of my legs as I felt him kneel behind me. A heartbeat later, I felt the warmth of his tongue glide against my pussy. "Taste amazing, too."

"Carlisle," I whined, wanting more.

He knew exactly what I wanted. He kept his hands on the inside of my thighs as he used his mouth on me, sliding his tongue deeper into my pussy than I thought possible.

"Oh, my . . ." I gasped, almost unable to keep myself upright. "Jesus, Carlisle."

"You like that, baby?" he asked, flicking my clit with his tongue.

"Yes," I whimpered. "I'm almost there. Just a little more. Please!"

"You want to come?" he asked before sliding his tongue between my wet folds again.

"Yes, please," I begged. The urge to use my own fingers was strong.

Carlisle hummed and placed his lips around my clit, but just as my climax was about to take over, he pulled away from me and stood up.

"What the hell?" I cried out, turning to face him. "Why'd you stop?"

Carlisle smirked as he brought his hands to my face, cradling me between them. "Because I want you to worked up, so needy and tense with longing, that when I let you come, when I make you come, you're going to be feeling it for days."

I gasped, but Carlisle crushed his lips against mine, where I tasted myself on his tongue. The bastard was playing a game with me, and dammit, I loved it.